Crossing the Line
by Future Memory
Summary: Is there a thin line between love and hate? Or is there a Great Wall of China in between? How much will it take for them to cross it? AU, all human.
1. Chapter 1

It was a Saturday morning, which meant Elena got to enjoy a cup of coffee in her favorite coffee shop which was, conveniently, placed only few blocks away from her house. The shop was there for as long as she could remember, and sometimes she questioned how do they manage to keep the place running, since they never had many customers. But that was the reason why she loved it so much. She could assume her usual place in the corner, Martha, the elderly waitress who worked there and knew Elena's order by heart - mocha cappuccino with extra cream and cinnamon - would bring the beverage to her in the matter of seconds, and she would crack open whichever book she decided to pay her attention to that week. She hated crowded places, with people yelling, passing her by, bumping her shoulder with their butts. Library seemed too serious for a relaxed morning, and staying in an empty house was not as appealing as it would be to the most teenagers. That little coffee shop was her safe haven, her second home, somewhere she could escape to when she had too much on her plate.

When she woke up this morning she was ready to go through her usual Saturday morning routine. She got dressed, brushed her teeth, tied her hair in a high ponytail, applied minimum make up, like she usually does, grabbed the book and placed it in her messenger bag alongside her wallet, glasses, phone and keys. Elena was not like the most girls in her school. She did not walk around in short skirts and tight dresses, even though Caroline said she has assets for that kind of clothes. She felt comfortable in her jeans, tops and occasional hoodie. She loved wearing her fandom shirts, but she would always get annoyed when she wore them, because no one ever got what they were about. Instead of over sized bags full of make up, she wore messenger bags which were big enough for her necessities. She was often called a geek, and a nerd, but unlike most people, she did not take it as an insult. She did not have a boyfriend, but her teddy bear is called Seth Cohen. She did not spend her Saturday nights out partying and drinking, but catching up on Supernatural.

It was not that Elena did not like to dress nicely, she did, but she also believed school hallways are not a runaway. Even if her not being interested in fashion was the case, she would have no other choice but to know every single detail about it, because you simply can't be friends with Caroline Forbes and not know what's in this season. It was not that Elena did not want a boyfriend, it was that no one she knew was worth the bother. She would much rather pretend some fictional character is her boyfriend, or several of them, which was great because all of them were fictional and did not know of each others existence, so she could reserve a day for each and others wouldn't be jealous. She was not stuck up or picky, there simply was no one she liked enough to open herself to the possibility of a relationship. In all these years she had one relationship which ended not so long after it started.

She knocked on the door of her dad's bedroom, but even though no one answered she peeped in, only to find his room to be empty. She should not be surprised he's not home, even though he had promised he will come home for the weekend. She went to her brothers room only to find a bed in which no one had slept in and a note on it saying _"Went over to Bonnie's, don't know when I'll be back." _She cringed at the though of her younger brother and best friend doing the deed. She was happy for them both, but at the same time it was a little bit gross, because he was her baby brother and Bonnie was.. well, Bonnie. She tried to dismiss those thoughts before the picture gets instilled in her mind.

She went downstairs, and when she saw aunt Jenna opening the front door, she knew she can say goodbye to her peaceful Saturday morning. Aunt Jenna had a thing she had to take care of after she had another thing she could not miss out on and Alaric was away on a business trip, so she looked at her niece with her pleading eyes and asked, "Can you please look after April for few hours?" Elena looked down at her twelve year old cousin who was not one happy camper. There was a bit of an age difference between Elena and April, and when you're a teenager, when someone is older than you few months they seem really old to you. When it comes to years, you see them in a form of a dinosaur. April was a spoiled brat who could not keep her mouth shut and who loved picking on Elena especially, but aunt Jenna was the last thing Elena had left that reminded her of her mother, so she could never say no to her. No matter how much times she will have to suppress the need to strangle April with her bare hands.

Since her morning was ruined already, she thought she should call Caroline to go with them, since April thought Caroline is a _super extra amazingly awesome_ for such an older chick. Caroline was sleeping when Elena called, but after few minutes of pleading and making promises she had no intention of keeping, Caroline agreed to go with them and told Elena she will be ready in a few. The whole ride over April was talking about what a Hitler reincarnation her mother is, and every time she opened her mouth Elena wanted to slap her over them and tell her how happy she is she has a mother in the first place.

When they picked Caroline up, she was willing to listen to the twelve year old's problems, since her relationship with her own mother was rocky.

So here she was, sitting in the middle of her favorite coffee shop which was unusually crowded, someones but was on her shoulder, Caroline went to get them drinks fifteen minutes ago, and she was trying to read while April was sighing like someone's about to slaughter her. If she doesn't stop, Elena will might have to resort to such violence.

This morning could not go any worse.

Cross that, this morning could always go worse, which is what Elena realized when she heard a well familiar, annoying male voice above her, "Hey Gilbert," he said with a mocking tone of voice. Coming out of his mouth her last name sounded like the funniest thing on the planet. "What are you reading?" he asked, and with the corner of her eye she could have seen him putting his leg on a chair, and his elbow on his knee, letting his hand flap in the air.

"A book," she said calmly, like his teasing did not bother her at all. When in reality, every time she had heard his voice, she wanted to bleed herself out to death.

"Which one?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation alive, one that would end with him insulting her in a way only him would find funny.

"It says on the cover," she doesn't raise her head, but she taps on the cover with her thumb. After few seconds a devilish grin appears on her face as she shakes her head, adjusting the glasses that fell down her nose, and looks up at him, "Silly me," she releases a giggle, "Assuming you actually know how to read," in a matter of seconds her face becomes serious and she shoots him a deadly stare. She looks behind him and sees his posey by the table by the window. Rebekah and Nik Mikaelson, Katherine Pierce, few other football players including Matt Donovan who's actually a good guy, all sitting there and staring at them.

"Did you need anything?" Elena asks him, raising her eyebrow at him after leaving him speechless after her last comment.

Before he gets a chance to reply, Caroline appears behind him and yells, "Beat it, Salvatore," and kicks him lightly on the leg with a tip of her shoe before she sits down next to Elena.

He smiles at them with his signature smile because of which all of the girls in school lose their panties before his look falls on Elena and he says, "See you in Chemistry, Gilbert," before he turns around and walks over to his friends. Or baboons, how Elena likes to call them. Group of uncivilized baboons.

Elena watched him walk away, his football jacket lingering of his broad shoulders, perfectly lining his back, when her train of thoughts was interrupted by Caroline's voice, "See you in Chemistry?" Elena turned her head around to face her friend who was raising an eyebrow in her direction.

Elena adjusted her glasses once again, "Mr. Sanders made him my lab partner," she huffed as her eyes fell back on her book, trying to find where she stopped reading.

"How so?" Caroline was not about to let it go as easily as Elena had hoped she would.

"His grades are below average, even for a football player," Elena chuckled at her own words before she added, "It was not my choice to work with him, I was forced to," she frowned when she remembered how hard she begged Mr. Senders to assign her another lab partner, but he refused, because he thought she would be good for him. He did not even think about how that ball kicking monkey might be bad for her.

April released a sigh louder than her previous ones before she opened her mouth and said, "I doubt you were his choice either," she said mockingly.

Caroline giggled and Elena's childish side decided to stick her tongue out at her younger cousin.

Elena went back to reading her book, and to her surprise she was left alone for quite some time, before she felt Caroline's elbow in her arm. She tore her eyes away from the book and looked at her friend who was curiously gazing at her.

"What?" Elena asked annoyed. Can't April entertain her by asking an advice about some boy, or the other way around?

"Nothing," Caroline stirred her lemonade with a pink, swirly straw, "You just never told me what happened between you and Stefan," Caroline looked at her with her big, blue, puppy eyes.

Not this topic again.

"Oh," April said with a somewhat excited voice. Both Elena and Caroline shot a glare towards her, and Elena knew there's no chance in hell to stop April from talking. "She was a nerd, he was average," here we go with the word nerd again, "Then he became hot, and she stayed a nerd," April concluded happily.

Caroline looked at Elena who was looking at her little cousin furiously. She could see anger flash inside of Elena's eyes, and basically imagine Elena jumping on April from her seat.

"Elena is not a nerd," Caroline finally decided to say something before Elena physically hurts someone, "She's simply a social cripple in some situations," she tried to make things better, but Caroline's explanation only made April laugh more.

Elena exhaled loudly before looking at Caroline and smiling at her warmly. "Thanks Caroline," she replied genuinely before lowering her look back on the book. Caroline always has the best intentions.

* * *

April is not as bad, once you get used to her. Under that bitter, spoiled, I-do-not-know-my-limits, hormonal shield actually lies a living, breathing human being. She's strikingly beautiful too, with her dark brown hair which, at times, seems to be black, and blue eyes with spots of green. Sometimes Elena envies her on her looks. It's not that she cannot stand the reflection she sees in the mirror, she even considers herself pretty, but April is a different kind of pretty. She is one of those girls who can make everything about her by just entering the room, without even trying. She's one of those girls people turn their heads around for.

She's still pretty short, and has some leftovers of baby fat, but she's only twelve, she will grow out of it.

Jenna called Elena an hour ago and told her she finally came home, so Elena said she will drop April off on her way home. She feared her ride home with her cousin, because from time to time she would get a need to crash the car into a post, but to her surprise, the ride home was actually pleasant. April told her about some boy she likes, who seems to like her back, but she did not ask Elena for any advice, because in her mind Elena is a loser who knows nothing about boys. She had seen enough shows, she could handle middle school dramas.

She shared enjoyable fifteen minutes with her cousin, not that either of them would ever admit that.

She dropped April off and went home herself. When she entered the house she called Jeremy's name, but instead of her brother she found another note on the kitchen counter saying, _"Went to lunch with Bonnie. Don't know when I'll be back."_

Elena sighed in disappointment, opened the freezer, and pulled a frozen pizza out of it.

Elena loved being alone. She loved peace, and quiet, and when she could her the sound of books pages being rolled over. But sometimes she would get incredibly lonely. Her dad is rarely home, and when he is, he's the one requesting peace and quiet. It's hard living with a military dad, not knowing when he will be home, or for how long he will stay. When he is home, Elena opens the door of her bedroom, simply so she could hear him yelling at the TV. Simply so she knows she's not alone, that there's someone else in the house, even if they're not spending time together. So she would know the difference once he's gone.

Since Jeremy got together with Bonnie, he's spending most of his time with her, so Elena rarely sees him anymore. She doesn't see much of her best friend anymore, either. And she misses them both.

Since they lost mom to cancer several years ago, everything had changed. Jeremy doesn't want to talk about it, nobody wants to talk about it actually. Sometimes she has a feeling they're all acting like she was never here. Like it will hurt less if they act like they had never lost her. And sometimes, all she wants to do is to talk about her with someone. Tell them how much she misses her, and in how many situations she thinks, _I wish my mom were here_. Jeremy was never the one to talk about his feelings, but the way he seems to be avoiding the topic of their mom like a plague is completely ridiculous to Elena.

Aunt Jenna doesn't come over as often as she used to, even though she lives only fifteen minutes away by car from them. But then again, what's the point in coming over to an empty house?

After mom died, something broke inside of dad. He's not a loving, cheerful man he was while she was alive, nor is he the father he used to be. He works a lot more than he used to, and in those rare occasions he does come home, his stay never fulfills Elena's expectations.

She turns her laptop on, pulls the pizza out of the oven, and prepares herself to watch a bundle of shows she had missed out on this week.

* * *

"Bekah, if you touch those muffins, I will cut your hand off," Stefan said with his head stuck in the fridge in the search of some milk. Rebekah gazed at the plate of muffins before pushing them off on the other side of the counter because she knew Stefan means serious business.

"Where's my treat?" Rebekah makes a pouty face as Stefan turns around with a bottle of milk in his hands.

He was eyeing here, obviously in the process of thinking, before a grin appears on his face. "There are some raisins in the cabinet above the sink," he grins at her devilishly.

"Ha-ha-ha," she says sarcastically, "Very funny," she had her serious face on.

"I was not trying to be funny," he winks at her as he takes one of the muffins from the plate and pushes it inside of his mouth.

Rebekah rolls her eyes at him, several of times, before leaning across the counter. "You were bugging that Elena girl again," she says, even though Stefan knew she said it for another reason but making a simple statement.

"Gilbert?" Stefan says her name in that mocking tone of voice. Rebekah raises her eyebrow at him, and he tries to pretend he hasn't seen it. "Tried to bug her. I rarely leave her speechless, her tongue is too long and too fast. Pesky little thing," he gets another bite of a muffin.

"I have heard you were friends," she says suggestively.

Stefan chips on a bit of chocolate sticking out from the crumbling dessert, "Were being the key word."

Rebekah gets closer to him, circling the plate with her finger. Stefan slaps her hand as her fingers get dangerously close to his muffins. "Why did you stop?" she tries to distract him, "Being friends, I mean."

He shrugs his shoulders. "We were kids," he licks his fingers off before grabbing another muffin, "With how many people from your childhood have you stayed friends?"

Rebekah sighs. "That's different, Stefan," she looks at him, "I moved across the country because of my mom. I never had a chance to stay friends with them," she says with a shaky tone of voice. Rebekah does that a lot, use her shaky voice, especially in one of the situations which require experiencing emotions. She spends a lot of her time thinking about what could have been, too.

She had a point, but Stefan did not want to go further into that discussion.

"She seems nice," Rebekah says, knowing which buttons to push to shake him.

"She's loud, she always thinks she's right, and she always has to have the last word," Stefan furrows his brows, "She's not nice, she's plain annoying," he puts the last bite of muffin in his mouth before getting a glass and pouring some milk inside of it.

"She would be good for you," Rebekah bumps her hip into his, "Seems like type of a girl who knows how to talk."

A devilish grin appears on Stefan's face again. "I like women who use their mouth for a purpose other than talking."

Rebekah laughs, but slams him on the arm nevertheless.

"I know," she exhales loudly, getting a glass of milk herself, "Considering your choice of women," she looks at him with the corner of her eyes.

The corners of his lips curve into a smile. "Careful now, those girls are your friends."

"I have no friends," Rebekah says while taking small sips of milk.

Stefan puts his hand on his chest, pretending to be hurt. "And what am I?" he asks offended.

"You're more of a pet," Rebekah responds, and her reply is followed by a light chuckle.

"British hag."

"American trash."

"I don't think she likes me, though."

"Who?"

"Elena," Rebekah shoots him one of hers have-you-not-been-listening-to-me looks.

Stefan rolls his eyes so hard that for a moment he has a feeling they will roll inwards. He can't believe they're still on this topic. So, like with everything he doesn't know how to handle, he chooses to ignore it.

"Now, why wouldn't anyone like you? You're such a delight to be around," Stefan teases her, and this time she picks up a magazine from the counter and slams him on the head with it.

Stefan yelps in pain while caressing his scalp.

They both go back to sipping their milk. They're silent for quite some time before Stefan decides to be nice and says, "She doesn't dislike you because of you. She dislikes you because you're my friend."

Rebekah glares at him, knowing she should not push it, surprised he even said this much. There are certain things Stefan doesn't talk about and Elena Gilbert is one of them.

Before she even gets a chance to say anything at all, a sleepy voice interrupts them. "I thought I've heard your voices," they turn their heads around and notice Damon standing by the door, stretching himself.

It's two in the afternoon, also known as Damon's wake up time. Stefan rolls his eyes, but a delightful smile appears on Rebekah's face.

Damon passes by Stefan, barely noticing him standing there, and smiles back at Rebekah. He puts his hands around her waist and kisses her cheek before saying, "Morning, sweet cheeks."

Sweet cheeks? Stefan almost pukes out the delicious muffins he just ate.

Damon rolls Rebekah around and kisses her tenderly. His hands roam on her ass, and her hands creep under his shirt.

"Please," Stefan basically screams at them, "Don't ever do that in front of me again," they put their make out session on pause to look at Stefan who looked like he's just been through a trauma. "Better yet, don't ever do that in front of anyone," disgust is evident on his face as he closes his eyes, trying to forget what he had just seen.

Both Damon and Rebekah laugh at the same time. He kisses the tip of her nose before he yells, "Muffins!" and reaches his hand towards the plate.

But Stefan was faster than him, and he had managed to save muffins from his brother's greedy hands. "Firstly, my muffins!" Stefan pouts, "Secondly, never touch food after squeezing someones ass," Stefan shakes his head.

Damon frowns. "I'm hungry," he looks at Stefan like he's ready to wrestle him for the muffins.

Stefan smirks at him. "Well, you have one giant muffin right there in your hands," Stefan winks at Rebekah at the moment she shows him her middle finger. "She's extra crispy, too," he adds before turning around to leave the room.

As much as he hated to admit it, Damon and Rebekah were perfect for each other. He never met two more negative, sarcastic assholes who try so hard to displease their parents.

"Bekah, when you're done playing with my brother, I'll be in the living room," Stefan yells as he steps into the hallway, pretty sure if her wants to keep his eyes, and sanity, he shouldn't turn around.

* * *

**AN: So, here it is, another story. After everything, I've realized I love writing HS Stelena the most. And this time, we have them in extra sassy edition ;)**

**So, what do you think? How does the story seem to you so far? Should I continue writing it?**

**I enjoyed writing Stebekah friendship in one of my earlier stories I just had to include them here too!**


	2. Chapter 2

Elena was sitting by the table in the classroom, waiting for the bell to ring, so everyone can stop shouting and yelling. So Mr. Sanders can come in and give them an assignment. The sooner this nightmare starts, the sooner it will end. Maybe Stefan doesn't come, maybe he skips the Chemistry class. But then again, him intensely skipping this class had put them in the situation they are in now. If he wants to continue playing football, he has to have a better grade average, and clean attendance. And getting the football scholarship is the only way for him to go to college, and if his dad is anything like Elena remembers him to be, he would rather see Stefan dead than not going to college. Maybe it's better if he shows up then so they do not come to the idea she should work with him outside of the school premises.

"You're the best in the class," she could hear Mr. Sanders' words buzzing inside of her head, "If anyone can help him, it's you."

He was right, she was the best in the class. But she did not work this hard to end up teaching lazy ass football players with an IQ of a snail. She was always a good student, but after her mom died, studying seemed to be the only way to take her thoughts away. She would lose herself for hours, and what were once boring and difficult tasks, became her everyday routine. She found a way to bury her pain, and she feared, if she stops doing it, the pain of losing her mom will resurface. So she never stopped doing it. And as the years passed by, it became her habit. Not something she especially enjoyed, but something she knew she had to do, so it stopped being as difficult as it once was. So she convinced herself she's doing this for her, because she would like to see her daughter get good grades so she can get into a good college. She did it for her dad, too, because the school is the only thing they would discuss when he would come home. She wanted to have something positive to say to him.

Jeremy did not even try. He did not want to pretend. So she felt like she has to.

She looked around at her classmates. She did not know any of them, not really. The only friends she had were Bonnie and Caroline, Bonnie who she knew since they were in diapers, and Caroline who was always there, but became a more serious friend in the middle school. She remembered how much Caroline used to annoy her, especially when they were younger. She always wanted to be the center of attention, to prove herself in every way, it was like, whatever someone did, she felt a need to do it better. And then, when she got to know her better, she realized the reasons behind Caroline's actions, and they became really good friends. Once she gave her a chance, she was able to see a completely different side of Caroline, which was incredibly loving and supporting. And now, she can't imagine her life without the perky blonde.

She knew nothing about her peers, except rumors and stories written on the bathroom walls. Sometimes she would regret it, not being part of anything, especially now, when she found herself in her senior year. As much as she despised the typical teenage behavior, as much as she did not fit among the crowd, and as much as she did not see the point of drinking until you can't take it anymore, she had regretted not creating any memories. She did not even stay on the sidelines, she was far, far away, locked in the four walls of her bedroom, doing things she can't even remember now. There were no kisses, hugs, smiles or gossip, there wasn't anything pleasant to remember about this place that was, for a long time, such a huge part of her life.

Both Bonnie and Caroline have boyfriends, so at least there's something for them to remember. And what does she have? One five month old relationship that lead to nowhere, and hours and hours of watching television.

Of course, Elena would confess this to no one. She had a hard time confessing it to herself.

There's a bell which means the beginning of the class, and Stefan is still not here. Mr. Sanders comes into the classroom, and everyone become extremely quiet all of a sudden. His look falls on the empty chair next to Elena, and he disapprovingly shakes his head.

Before he manages to reach his table, the classroom door shoot flying wide open, and Stefan runs inside. He looks straight at Mr. Sanders who looks a little baffled. He probably didn't expect Stefan to show up either.

"I'm sorry I'm late," he says, all while trying to catch his breath, "I had trouble with finding the classroom," he steps inside and closes the door behind him.

"Of course, of course," Mr. Sanders mumbles into his beard, "I don't believe I've ever seen you in this classroom," he chuckles quietly, and the majority of the classroom chuckles with him.

Elena wonders does Mr. Sanders like making fun of lazy, inadequate students, like Stefan.

"Please, Mr. Salvatore, take a seat," he points to the empty seat beside Elena. Stefan looks into her direction and pulls a devilish smirk across his face. He walks over to the second table by the window, all while smirking at Elena, who rolls her eyes at him, and moves herself on her spinning chair more away from his than she already was.

Stefan drops his books on the table, and Elena notices they look brand new, barely used. Probably not used at all. While hers look like a cabbage, from the inside as well as from the outside.

Figures as much, he probably hasn't touched his since the school year started.

While Mr. Sanders takes his time to explain them what they're going to do today, Stefan, to Elena's surprise, stays awfully quiet. He even looks concentrated, like he's actually listening. When Mr. Sanders stop explaining the procedure they will take, Elena starts preparing the things needed for the experiment.

Stefan eyes her wearily. "What can I do to help?" he asks her.

Without even looking at him, she hands him the bottle of salt. "You can weigh four grams of salt and put it into the 5ml beaker," she tells him while doing her own work. When she doesn't hear the bottle getting opened or the salt being poured, she raises her head to look at him. "Don't tell me you don't know how to do it," she says silently, "It's so easy a monkey can do it."

He smirks at her again, telling himself this is not the time or the place for their little word games. "I don't think I'm going to pass this subject by pouring salt into a glass," he raises her eyebrow in her direction.

"A beaker," she corrects him, a little bit disappointed he did not bite the bait, "And it's a start. If I let you do something more complicated, you could set the whole school on fire."

He exhales loudly. "Whatever you say, Gilbert," he opens the bottle and puts his nose on the opening. When the smell of salt attacks him, and he pulls his head away disgusted, Elena can't help herself but chuckle, a little louder than she intended to. "But if I do not pass this, Mr. Sanders might get pretty disappointed in you," he winks at her as her smile begins to fade away, "Next thing you know you're not teachers pet anymore," his smirk gets wider as she gets more irritated with him.

"Shut up," she tells him off as she goes back to what she was doing.

He chuckles because he knows his words had managed to rile her up, so he does what he has been told to do.

To both of their surprise, the other one seemed cooperative. Stefan probably because he understood the gravity of his situation, and Elena because she was always serious when it came to this kind of work.

When the bell for the end of the class rang, Elena got her things and pushed them inside of her bag in a hurry, and as she was ready to leave, she had heard Stefan's voice, "Hey Gilbert!"

She turned around confused and caught him staring at her with the same grin he always worse. The grin she wanted to kick right off his face.

"Nice shirt," he commented while staring at it.

Elena lowered her look at her black shirt with a sign _'Use the force'_. She had raised her confused look at him, and after few moments mumbled a quiet, "Thanks," and then she turned around to leave.

Sometimes, Stefan Salvatore would surprise her.

Sometimes, she would allow herself to be surprised by him.

"It would be nicer if it had some cleavage, though," she could hear him yelling after her.

And every time she would regret it.

* * *

Elena met up with Bonnie and Caroline by the lockers, and they decided to have their lunch outside, since it was such a beautiful and warm day.

"You survived Chemistry?" Bonnie asked while they were walking down the hall towards the exit.

Elena exhaled loudly and nodded her head. "It was a 9th circle of hell, but I've managed myself."

"I still do not get what went down between you two," Caroline whines like finding out a secret behind their failed friendship is something her life depends on.

"Caroline," Bonnie says her name with a soothing tone of voice, "Don't push it," she glares at Caroline, knowing how much Elena hates this subject being brought up.

"There's not much to say, anyway," Elena figures it's better to tell Caroline once and for all than let her ask the same question day after day, "We were friends, and then we weren't. It is that simple."

Caroline lets out one more loud exhale before she whines again, "Still doesn't explain why the two of you can't stand each other. You're always on each other backs."

Bonnie opens the door, and the three of them step outside. Elena tries to avoid Caroline's look because for one, she should have known Caroline won't satisfy herself with crumbs she throws at her, and second, she could really not give her an answer to her question. She could not even give herself an explanation to the question why she hates Stefan as much as she does. Sure, he is self absorbed asshole with a big tongue, but so is the majority of guys in their school. Friendships break all the time, she was aware of that. And one day the teasing and bickering between them just started, and she doesn't know why, how or who started it first.

"I think you like him," Caroline says casually.

Both Elena and Bonnie shoot her a confused look, but before Elena gets a chance to defend herself, they are interrupted by someone saying, "Little Elena Gilbert?"

Elena turns her head around and meets a well known smugly face. He does look older than the last time she had seen him, and his coal black hair is shorter, but those baby blue eyes of his are still as captivating as the first time she had laid her eyes on them. He is leaning on the front kick of his old Chevy and smirking at her with a smirk he shares with his little brother.

"Damon Salvatore?" she pulls a wide smile across her face as she makes few steps in his direction, "I didn't know you're back in town," she stands awkwardly in front of him, not knowing how to greet him.

There's a devilish smirk on his face as he checks her out, and one part of her wants to smack him for doing so, and the other finds that sort of attention pleasant, so she lets him have it.

There's a confused expression on her face after she does the math. "What happened to college?" she raises her eyebrow in his direction.

"College couldn't handle me," he makes a cocky face expression, one Elena used to believe he was born with. She giggles a little at his comment, and almost comes to slapping herself across the face, after she realizes she sounds like one of those girls desperate for attention. Elena Gilbert doesn't do giggles. "You wouldn't know where my brother is, would you?" he asks.

Elena rolls her eyes when she remembers those two are blood related. "Unfortunately, I do," she sighs, "We had Chem class, he should be out soon," she tells him, and she notices confusion on his face.

He keeps eyeing her confused, but does not say a word except, "Right. It was nice seeing you again," he winks at her.

Elena smiles and waves at him before she walks back to her friends. When she concludes they're in a safe distance Caroline asks excitedly, "That's Stefan's brother? He's hot," she emphasizes the word hot, "Like, extremely hot," she pulls a smile from ear to ear, before she becomes all serious again, "But I've thought you hate the Salvatore's."

Elena shakes her head. "No, I hate one of them. Damon has always been nice to me."

* * *

"Why were you talking to 'Wide legs' Sally?" Damon asks his brother with a bit of disgust in his voice after Rebekah falls into his arms and gives him a long and lasting kiss on the lips. Damon puts his arms around her waist and pulls her a little on top of him as he leans more on his car.

Stefan eyes him wearily, "How do you know 'Wide legs' Sally?" he cocks his eyebrow at him.

Rebekah eyes her boyfriend curiously, glancing at the movement of his facial lines to see if he's hiding anything, but he only rolls his eyes and replies, "Stefan, 'Wide legs' Sally was here when I was here," and by the tone of his voice Rebekah concludes he's clear. Or that he's a damn good actor.

"Did you sleep with her?" Stefan asks openly, trying to forget he had seen his brothers hand in his best friends ass. Best friends should be off limits to brothers, or any other family member.

"Nah," Damon says casually, slumping his arm around Rebekah's shoulders, "But I do wonder do her legs go as wide as they used to," he chuckles.

Rebekah punches him lightly on the chest. "I believe they go wider," she hisses through her teeth, and this time Stefan is the one who chuckles as Damon rubs his chest. Seeing Rebekah jealous is something new, but unbelievably fun. Especially when she becomes violent.

Damon turns his look to Stefan before he asks, "Why did you not tell me little Gilbert girl got so hot?" which earns him another punch from Rebekah, this time in the stomach.

Stefan chuckles again before his face expression gets serious and he shakes his head. "Saying Elena Gilbert is hot is equal to having some weird fetish. Next thing you know your only fuck buddy is Yasmin, half priced call girl with Adam's apple."

Rebekah laughs quietly, but at the same time rolls her eyes at Stefan's comment. The same confusion from before appears on Damon's face, "Aren't the two of you friends?"

Stefan shakes his head as he prays for Rebekah to stop planting kisses on his brothers neck before he pokes his eyes out, "We were friends."

Damon pulls a grin across his face, "Little brother, you're looking at all the wrong assets," Rebekah's fist flies to his chest again, but this time, he stops it with his open palm, "She is tall, and most of her body are her legs. She has a tiny waist, and from what I've been able to see, a flat stomach. Her chest is pretty decent to, and she's cute in the face. Basically, she looks like she jumped out of the Victoria's Secret ad. Can you please explain to me what's not hot about that?" he asks, and he can feel Rebekah's glare on him.

Stefan thinks about his brothers words, and when he realizes he's right, he rolls his eyes. "Fine, maybe she's attractive, but she's still annoying as hell," he spits out.

"Oh?" Damon asks curiously as he pulls Rebekah closer to himself.

"She's a know it all, she always thinks she's right, she has to have a last word, she always has a comeback ready and she never shuts up!" Stefan says infuriated when he remembers everything that annoys him about that little, and now that his brother pointed out, extremely good looking creature.

Damon laughs out loud. "So, she's like you," he says through a laugh.

Rebekah bursts into laughter at Damon's words. Stefan looks at him, offended he would do such a comparison. Him and Elena are nothing alike.

"Ha-ha-ha," Stefan says sarcastically, "Very funny."

Damon's laughter calms down before he says, "It is, actually, since you said, after you found out you can't marry mom, Elena is the only girl you would ever consider marrying," he says smugly, knowing it would put his brother in the uncomfortable position in front of Rebekah.

And he was right. Damon maybe did not know what went down between Elena and Stefan, but he does know his little brother. And if there are things Stefan doesn't want to talk about, he won't discuss them, not even with the person he cares the most about in this world.

Stefan can feel his cheeks blush slightly as he tries to avoid locking his look with Rebekah's.

"And you," Damon says as he squeezes Rebekah's hips, "Just because I notice other girls does not mean I do not appreciate your assets," his lips collide with hers for a moment.

"Yeah?" she says, pulling her lips into a smile even before she detaches them from his.

"Yes," Damon nods against her head, "I love you assets," he says in a sweet voice while squeezing her butt, and she giggles.

Stefan makes a gagging sound before he says, "I think I'm going to be sick."

* * *

The moment Elena takes her book and falls on the living room sofa, the phone rings. She rolls her eyes, knowing she has to get up and answer it, since there is no one else in the house.

"Hello," she says sweetly as she answers the phone.

"'Lena?" she hears Aprils unusually pleasant voice on the other side of the line.

Elena, knowing her little cousin well, snaps at her, "What do you want, you little troll?" She knows April uses her sweet, childlike voice only when she needs something.

"Rude much?" April yells, but then exhales and her voice goes back to being sweet, "Can't I just call my big cousin because I miss her?" she tries to suck up to Elena.

But Elena knows better than to fall for that. She rolls her eyes, "Quit pretending," she says tiredly.

April lets out a loud sigh, "Fine! I need a favor."

A grin appears on Elena's face. She's going to enjoy this. "Oh?" she says shortly before she bites into an apple she picked up from the bowl on the coffee table.

"Remember that boy I told you about?"

"Mhm."

"Well, he asked me out!" April says excitedly.

Elena chokes on her apple. Her 12 year old cousin has a better love life than she has.

"And?" she sounds to try uninterested. And not jealous at all.

She wants to be a 12 year old girl going on dates.

"Mom said I can go, under one condition. I need a chaperon. Of course, she offered herself," Elena hears the disappointment in Aprils voice.

"What's the problem then?"

"Honestly, would you like your mom chaperoning your first date?"

Elena chuckles. "Good point," she says, even though she would like her mom to just be here, even if she insists on taking her on a date. She would gladly share that experience with her, even if the guy would probably never call again.

"So," April prolongs that small word, and Elena knows this is where the favor part comes, "She said the only other option is you."

Elena chokes on her apple for a second time. "You want me to babysit you during your date?"

April exhales tiredly, maybe even disappointed, "Better you than my mom."

Elena expected her to make some offensive comment about how this is probably her only chance to go on a date, but April skipped that part, which convinced Elena this really means a lot to her. And as much as April was annoying, she deserves to have a normal first date.

"Fine. When and where?"

* * *

**AN: I promise there will be no triangle or Elena developing feelings for Damon.**


	3. Chapter 3

Elena was standing in the cinema lobby, regretting the moment she had promised her cousin she will chaperon her to her first date. She was supposed to pick her cousin up at 7pm, but luckily, she showed up 15 minutes earlier. April was having a clothes crisis, and aunt Jenna did not know what to do. Elena found April sitting in the middle of her room, on a pile of clothes, crying about how she has nothing to wear. Elena offered her services to her, and after April insulted her and her fashion sense, she realized Elena is the only person who can help her at the moment, since her mom has been on a date thousand of years ago, according to April. Aunt Jenna threw her hands in the air out of desperation and walked away, and Elena showed April she does know something about fashion. After 20 minutes, April finally decided on one of the combinations Elena picked out for her.

During the whole ride over she kept thinking out loud about how she should have picked out some other combination, and how she looks like a potato bag in her current clothes. At first, Elena found her panic cute, but after some time, it started annoying her. Especially when they got stuck in traffic an April called her an incapable idiot. She kept whining about how they're going to be late, and then continued whining about how her tears will mess up her make up, and all Elena could think about is why does a 12 year old girl wears make up in the first place.

In the end, they came to the cinema 10 minutes earlier than they were supposed to, and Elena realized the only good thing about this night is Aprils date choice of movies. She wanted to see this one herself since it started playing in the cinemas, but neither Caroline or Bonnie could catch enough time to go to watch it with her. April was sitting on a round, red sofa, nervously glancing at her phone literally every second. And when she wasn't checking it, she was bouncing it from one hand to another. Elena laughed at how nervous she was, because she was the same on her first date. Unlike April, who doesn't want her mom present, Elena did not have a choice, her mom was no longer with her. Plus, she was a little bit older than April is now, and her dad was gone, so she really did not need a chaperon. No one even knew she's going on her first date, the guy she was going with included.

Elena kept looking enviously happy couples who were passing them by. She also kept gazing at little kids coming in and out with their parents, envious of them too, because they hold that kind of innocence that is long lost to her.

"Elena," April says silently before she swallows hard. Elena turns her look down to her cousin who was now slowly getting up from the sofa she was sitting on. "He's coming," April says before pulling a smile across her face. Elena can see her cherry lip gloss glimmer on her lips under the bright light.

Elena raises her look and looks in the direction April is smiling, and when she sees the sight in front of her, she pops her eyes out so much that she has a feeling they will fall out of her eye sockets. Her look becomes wide, and she exhales a hot stream of air in disbelief.

How is it even possible she has such a bad luck?

He notices her too, but he does not show his confusion or displease. He pulls that cocky smirk across his face, and Elena gets a strong urge to punch him in the face.

"Gilbert," he greets her, spitting out her name, "What a surprise to see you here," and the tone of his voice gives him out, he really does sound surprised.

"You!" she points her finger at him, pushing it against his chest, surprised how strong his chest is, but then again, not surprised at all. Of course he's super masculine, it comes with the territory. She pushes her finger so deep into his chest that he stumbles as she hisses through her teeth, "What are you doing here?"

He keeps a smirk on his face, like he's proud of himself for being able to annoy her and push her out of the tact. Elena Gilbert, the best student in their class, always so calm and reserved, sometimes even cold, and he can make a ticking time bomb out of her just by appearing before her eyes. How could he not take it as a compliment?

"Chaperoning my little cousin on a date," he points to the confused boy standing next to April.

Elena turns around and looks at two confused children standing behind them, and she frowns at April, "Why did you not tell me you're going on a date with a Salvatore?" she hisses at her.

It's a funny thing, hate. It can be born out of nothing, and it can become your everything. Hate can cripple you as well as it can consume you to the point of no return. Consume you with fire you pray you will never, ever in your life, have to feel again. It's a funny thing how it takes a lot for people to love someone, but it takes basically nothing for them to hate someone.

Hate is an obsession. It's a drug. It's everything that can turn your life into a nightmare, and turn a person into a living, breathing shadow of who they once were. It eats you alive, because when you learn how to hate, you slowly start forgetting how to love, because you start to see hate all around you. It can mud your eyesight and make you see things that are not really there.

Little children stop being afraid of the dark when they stop believing in monsters under the bed. Same is with hate. Love is only stronger when you choose not to believe in the opposite.

It doesn't mean it's not there, it means you chose not to see it. You chose not to believe in it, you chose to not let it run your life.

Evil can be beaten just like bullies on the playground can - by ignoring it.

"I did not know they're related," April says with a defensive tone of voice. She had never seen Elena acting like this.

Elena furrows her brows before she looks back at Stefan. "Dylan is the kid of my moms sister," Stefan explains, "Therefor, we do not have the same last name," he smiles at her, amused by how irritated she is.

Elena notices the look in his eyes, and she refuses to let him have so much fun, while she's the one fuming. So she smirks back at him, and it confuses him for a moment. She moves away from him.

"Still, you are blood related," Elena looks from him to her cousin, "Run, April. Run and never look back," she says, clearly making fun of him.

Dylan chuckles, which makes April a little bit more relaxed. She was worried Elena's crazy behavior will have a negative effect on her date.

"I knew it was only a matter of time before your love life starts affecting mine," Dylan rolls his eyes at Stefan.

"Love life?" Elena holds in a bundle of laughter.

"With her?" Stefan does the same.

Dylan and April continue eyeing them confused, asking themselves who is chaperoning who here.

"I would not touch her with a broken stick wrapped into a plastic bag," he huffs, offended his cousin would even assume such a thing.

Elena rolls her eyes. "Firstly, really Salvatore? You couldn't come up with something better to say?" she says a little bit disappointed in his choice of words before she turns her look back to the youngsters, "Secondly, I would not let him touch me, not even if he was the last man on this planet."

"Witch."

"Pretentious asshole."

"I think we should go and buy the tickets," Dylan intertwines before either Stefan or Elena get to say another word.

"Yes!" April exhales in relief he said something so she doesn't have to.

Stefan rolls his eyes as he starts walking towards the tickets counter and requests for four tickets, popcorn and drinks. Elena, Dylan and April follow right behind him.

"Which seats would you like?" the lady behind the counter asks.

Stefan turns to Dylan and April, since it's their date, so they should choose. Dylan and April exchange meaningful looks.

"Last row," Dylan answers with an innocent face expression.

Stefan smirks at him. "You're not getting the last row," he says, knowing very well what people on dates do in the last rows of a cinema. He turns his look back to the smiling lady and says, "Two tickets for the last row, and two tickets for the two rows under."

"Are you insane?" Elena raises her voice at him, "Two rows under?"

"We should give them some privacy," Stefan says, turning his head to her, "But if you want to sit between two hormone fueled ticking time bombs, be my guest."

Elena glares at him before she huffs and crosses her arms on her chest. She hates when he has a point. He pulls a satisfactory smile across his face before he turns his look back to the lady.

The lady is smiling at Stefan. When Elena looks at her better, she realizes she's not that much of a lady. She's a girl, only few years older than them. Probably still in college. And she's smiling at him with the smile all the girls give him.

"Uhm," she hums, "Would you like love seats maybe?" she asks expressionless, eyeing Stefan.

Stefan keeps smiling at her like he hasn't heard the word she said. Elena rolls her eyes.

"No," she says, "These two are way too young, and we're not a couple." Are they ever going to stop eyefucking each other?

"Oh," the girl releases in fake disappointment, "Are you sure?" she asks.

"Yes, I'm pretty sure I'm not in a relationship with this jackass," Elena replies.

Why is he looking at her so much? Is her clothes transparent?

"You sure do act like a couple," the girl comments, nevertheless.

"More like a married couple," Stefan finally says, "We annoy each other every chance we get, and no sex" he winks at the girl, and she giggles with a desperate girl giggle.

She's basically in his pants already.

Dylan and April look at each other.

"Would that be all?" the girl asks.

"Yes," Stefan says as he throws the cash on the counter and gestures Dylan to come to help him with popcorn and drinks.

When they turn to leave the ticket selling lady yells after them, "Wait, you forgot something!" Stefan turns around confused. "My number," she smirks at him before she writes her number down on a piece of paper and hurries in their direction to hand it to him. She puts it in his jacket pocket by herself, and Stefan winks at her once again.

Elena makes a gagging sound. It looks like tickets are not the only thing she's selling.

When they enter the cinema, Stefan reaches for the piece of paper of his jacket and throws it in the trash bin.

"What are you doing?" Elena raises her eyebrow at him.

Stefan shrugs. "Not interested."

"You're an ass."

April and Dylan get settled down in their seats, and Stefan and Elena walk to the last row to get settled in theirs.

"Would you rather see me take advantage of her?" he asks when they get comfortable in their seats.

"Why not give it a try?" Elena asks him, kind of curious herself.

"Not interested," he says simply.

"Why?" she asks. She rolls the film inside of her head and concludes she had never seen Stefan in a relationship. She had seen him with girls, she had heard stories, but she had never seen him in an actual relationship. She had never even heard he has a friends with benefits contract with someone, which means he can't even dedicate himself to fucking one girl at the time.

He laughs. "You ask awfully lot of questions," he keeps looking forward at the screen.

Elena decides it's better not to ask anymore questions, despite her curiosity.

"I would rather see you stop treating girls like trash," Elena answers his previous question.

"Girls like to be treated like trash."

Elena opens her mouth in disbelief. "You're a bigger idiot than I've taught. How can you say such a thing? No girl likes to be treated like she's unworthy," Elena says through her teeth, quietly. She does not want to ruin this for April more than she has.

"Why do they allow themselves to be treated like that, then?"

Elena opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out. Because she has no answer to his question. Really, why do girls allow themselves to be treated like trash? Do they really believe they're unworthy? Is there some sort of pleasure in it?

They keep watching movie previews in silence. They're the only people there, and all they can hear is April's laughter. No, a desperate girl giggle.

Maybe it's not a desperate girl giggle after all. Maybe it's a giggle all the girls use while flirting.

Or maybe those two are the same thing.

"I don't do relationships," Stefan says after few minutes.

Elena looks at him surprised. "Why?" she asks, and she realizes she sounds like a broken record.

"Because I have a tendency to fuck things up."

Elena keeps looking at him, but he does not look at her. He remains calm.

"Oh," is all Elena manages to say. "So," she says, trying to make this situation seem less awkward, "How come you're here?"

"It was either me or Damon," Stefan says his brothers name like Elena is supposed to know it, which she does, which means he remembers, "And Damon had some other plans," he rolls his eyes, "Those other plans being my friend, which left me without things to do."

"I know, your brother dating your best friend is a bummer."

Bummer. Really Elena? Really?

"I know!" he exhales excitedly, happy someone finally understands him, "The things you see, the things you hear," he shakes it off.

"No one should know that much about their sibling," Elena says.

"Or about a person who you love like a sibling," Stefan continues.

"Exactly!"

When they realize they found a common ground, when they realize they exited their safe zone of arguments and bickering, they look at each other.

It's so unnatural.

And they spend the rest of the movie in silence.

But then again, so natural.

* * *

"You're home!" Jenna exclaims excitedly as she runs out of the living room into the hall in her pajamas, "How was it?" she asks with a smile on her face, hoping everything went well, because otherwise she will have to deal with an extremely unhappy 12 year old, and she has to get up early tomorrow.

Luckily for her, there's a wide smile across Aprils face. "Amazing!" she jumps in her mothers direction, "Mom, it was amazing," she puts her arms around her mothers waist, hugging her," Thank you for letting me go. Thank you, thank you, thank you," she gets on her toes and kisses her mothers cheeks.

Jenna exhales in relief.

April furrows her brows. "Although," she lets go of her mothers waist and turns to Elena, "I don't think we were the ones who needed chaperoning," she raises her eyebrow at her big cousin.

Jenna looks at blushing Elena. "Oh? Something went wrong?"

"My life," Elena spits out, looking at April. Jenna looks at her meaningfully. "The boy who was her date," Elena looks at her aunt, "Is related to the Salvatore's. And Stefan was chaperoning him."

Jenna turns pale. Of course she remembers Stefan Salvatore, the little boy hanging in the Gilbert house every minute of every day. Doing Elena's homework when she had chicken pox and reading her books because she refused to wear glasses.

She also very well remembers how he disappeared from her nieces life in the worst moment possible, and how Elena reacts upon hearing his name.

"You could cut the sexual tension between them with a knife," April comments.

Elena looks at her angrily. April catches her look and swallows because it is the same look she had at the cinema, and it's a little bit psychotic.

"I would love to stay here and chat," April says sarcastically, "But I have to go and call everyone I know," she smiles happily as she remembers how well her date went and she runs upstairs.

Jenna hopes it did not go as good as her daughters smile makes it out to be.

"Elena, sweetie," Jenna says, turning her look to her niece, "Why do you hate him so much?"

Elena huffs. "Are you sure you have time? The list is too long, aunt Jenna."

Jenna shakes her head, "I know you better than that," she tells her.

The two of them keep looking at each other, and for the first time after so many years she says the truth out loud, "Because he had left me when I needed him the most."

* * *

"I have the worst luck ever," Elena whines while taking a big spoon of ice cream and putting it into her mouth.

Bonnie and Caroline finally found some free time for girl bonding, and after Elena listened to their problems and tried to help them, as much as she did not want to know about Bonnie's problems including her brother, when girls asked what's new with her, for the first time after a long time she started her sentence differently than _"My favorite character.."_

And it felt good. It felt good to have problems, no matter how silly it sounds. Even if those problems are Stefan Salvatore.

It's funny, most people are tired of heartbreaks and drama and gossip. They're tired of feeling everything, of feeling too much, of going through too much, and they always advise everyone how lucky they are since they do not have to go through the same thing.

But Elena did not know the feeling, and she was curious about it. She was curious how it feels to have normal, everyday teenage problems. And as stupid as it sounds, she wanted to know how it feels like to have your heart broken by someone.

She wants to feel it, to feel something.

"Wait, let me get this straight," Caroline said, making Elena raise her head from the kitchen counter it fell on, "You were in the last row of a cinema with Stefan Salvatore?" she chuckled a little at her sentence, because it was something Caroline believed she will never, ever say.

"Yes," Elena said a little bit ashamed, because it was one of those _"it's not how it sounds like"_ situations.

"And he payed for everything?" Caroline raised her eyebrow in her best friends direction.

"Yes," Elena prolonged that answer, trying to get what Caroline's getting at.

Caroline and Bonnie exchange meaningful looks before a smirk appeared on Caroline's face. "So, it was a date," she says amused.

Elena furrows her brows. "It was not a date," she replies, like going on a date with Stefan is the worst possible kind of torture imaginable.

"You saw a movie?" Caroline asks, and Elena simply nods. "You talked?" this time, Elena blushes and nods. "He payed for everything?" Elena nods again, hoping Caroline asks a question she will have a negative answer for.

Caroline eyes her carefully. "You had fun?"

Tricky question.

Elena ponders on it for a little bit.

"It's not like I had a time of my life," she finally replies, "Let's just say I did not want to slash my wrists at the spot," she finds the best way to say Stefan is not the worst company in the world.

Caroline smirks again. "It's an official description of a date."

Elena huffs angrily. "It was not a date."

"Elena, it was a date," Bonnie finally voices her opinion.

Elena looks at Bonnie with her _"Et tu, Brute"_ expression before she cries out loudly and takes another spoon of ice cream. Her friends were right. Maybe neither of them were aware of it, and maybe neither of them wants to admit it, but what they had was a date. In some weird way.

"Maybe it's fate," Caroline says excitedly.

Elena frowns. "Well, fate has a really bad sense of humor."

Bonnie chuckles.

"Oh come on, how much possibly can you hate the guy?" Caroline asks, still not quite sure why does Elena hate Stefan so much. She's afraid she will never understand, not even if Elena tells her openly.

"Do not test her," Bonnie jokes, but then again, not really.

Elena stifles her laugh in another spoon of ice cream.

"There's a thin line between love and hate," Caroline says, "Or so they say."

"Well they say wrong," Elena answers angrily, and both Bonnie and Caroline shot their looks at her, "There's a country sized place between love and hate, not one lousy, thin line," she raises her voice. "I know the difference between love and hate. I know I love my dad, my aunt, my brother, you guys, and God even April. And I know how I feel about Stefan. And those feelings are way too different to be separated only with one measly line," she explains, clearly aggravated by Caroline's statement.

"But you loved him once," Bonnie says, and her words hit her hard, leaving a rock sized bruise inside of her.

She did, she loved him once. She loved him very much.

But he was also a very different person back then.

By the expression on her face, both Bonnie and Caroline know her answer is affirmative.

"So maybe you could love him again," Bonnie says daringly, and by the tone of her voice Elena can tell it took her a lot of strength to say it out loud.

"I think I couldn't even like him again, let alone love him," Elena replies, and she wonders was there a hint of sadness in her voice as she said that.

Their time together became too depressing for Caroline's taste, so she decided to put a stop to it. "Nevermind that, we should be talking about Prom and our class trip and things like that," Caroline says excitedly.

"Rome is approaching," Bonnie claps her hands.

Elena smiles at her friends excitement, even though she has to admit she's pretty excited for their class trip to Rome as well. It's going to be a terrific experience.

"There's a _'Hello Rome'_ party in the Grill this week," Caroline announces.

"Are we going?" Bonnie asks.

"Of course!"

Both of them look at Elena who looks too comfy with her bowl of ice cream. All she needs is a cat.

"'Lena, are you going too?" Bonnie asks hopefully, even though Elena never goes anywhere with them.

"Nah," Elena shakes her head, "I don't think so."

Caroline pouts. "And why not?"

Elena raises her look at her friends. "Because I don't want to be a third wheel," she says, "Or in this case, fifth one," she refers to both of her friends having a boyfriend.

Bonnie rolls her eyes. "You're not any kind of a wheel."

"And you're going," Caroline continues.

Elena exhales tiredly, because she knows this is one battle she's going to lose.

* * *

**AN: I love those small moments when two people who hate each other stop and think "Hey, maybe he/she is not so bad after all," even if those moments are fleeting.**


	4. Chapter 4

"Take your weirdly long fingers out of my plate," Stefan said as Rebekah took another french fry from his plate. "If you're hungry, why did you not order your own?" he raises his eyebrow at her confused.

Rebekah shoots him a glare. "I am not hungry. Why would you think I'm hungry?" she throws her wavy, vanilla blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Because there's half of the fucking french fries missing and I haven't even started eating," he replies as he watches his friend steal another french fry from his plate.

"I do not even like french fries," she says while nibbling on the said food, "Carbs."

Stefan cocks his eyebrow at her. "You love french fries. Once I had to take them away from you because you were basically swallowing them whole, it was too painful too watch," he shakes as he remembers the time when Rebekah got off her diet and violently attacked a plate of french fries in the Grill. It was like watching Jaws. Poor potatoes.

Rebekah shakes her head before throwing the last bite into her mouth. "It wasn't me," she denies it and steals another one from the pile. A crispy one.

"You're holding one as we speak," he says slightly annoyed at her.

She looks at the french fry in between her fingers before she puts it in her mouth. "No I'm not," she says while chewing.

He smiles at her and shakes his head in disbelief as he takes a hamburger in his hands and takes a bite.

He concludes he could never be a girl. He loves food too much. He loves it too much to even pretend he doesn't enjoy it, anyway.

Girls seem to think the skinnier they are, the more beautiful they are, so they end up looking like hangers, which is not attractive at all.

If there's something he hates, it's when a girl orders a salad and a glass of water. And then steals food from his plate.

If you're going to eat, then eat.

He will never understand women. He's not sure he wants to. The only people who understand women are women themselves, and all of them seem to hate each other. You never hear guys calling each other sluts because they own the same piece of clothing.

He likes women who know how to enjoy food. He would rather be with a girl who's not afraid to grease her fingers with a burger, even if it means she has few extra pounds on her body, than with a girl who eats her salad in a second and spends the rest of the night eyeing his plate like someone who hasn't been fed in months.

"Anyway," Rebekah says after they stay silent for few minutes, "You were telling me about Elena," she raises an eyebrow in his direction.

"Yes," he rolls his eyes as he takes another bite of his hamburger, "Can you believe the coincidence?" he huffs.

Rebekah giggles. "You know, for someone who hates her so much you do talk about her awfully lot," she says cocky, knowing it will upset him.

And annoying him is one of her favorite hobbies.

"Shut up," he snaps at her.

She giggles again because she knows she had succeeded in her intention. "I'm just saying I've seen you obsessing over many girls, especially ones who gave you a hard time. You like a challenge," Rebekah points out.

Confusion washes over Stefan's face. "Your point being?" he asks curiously.

"Well, you do not want to sleep with Elena," she says, even though sometimes she thinks that statement should be a question. Especially recently.

"God no!" Stefan raises his voice in exclamation.

Rebekah nods her head. "Which means she's the only girl you were ever emotionally invested in," she proclaims, making him frown.

"But I hate her," he says, swallowing the word hate.

Rebekah huffs and throws her hands in the air. "Hate is an emotion as well," she says in victory.

Stefan keeps glaring at her for some time before he leans over the table and says, "Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic," he says it quietly, practically through a whisper.

She shakes her head. He always has been stubborn. Well, for as long as she knows him at least.

"Are we going tomorrow?" she asks instead of continuing fighting with him on the previous subject.

He smirks at her. "Of course we are going," he says, asking himself why would she ever think they're not going to a party. When did they ever not go to a party?

All of a sudden Rebekah pulls a wide smile across her face. "I can't wait for Rome," she leans back on her chair as she exclaims excitedly. "I have to buy a new bikini," she says, looking like she's thinking hard.

"Shall I remind you you're in a relationship?" Stefan cocks his eyebrow at her cautiously, "With my brother, nevertheless."

She lets out a desperate sigh. "Women in relationship can't wear bikinis in foreign countries?" she asks him.

He has no answer to give to her, because she does have a point. And he hates when she has a point. He hates when people leave him speechless.

Rebekah looks at his disappointed face and decides not to push it any further. "Speaking of the one because of whom my hands are chained from touching hot Italians," she takes her bag from the chair next to her in her hands, "I have to meet him," she gets up from her chair, gives Stefan a peck on the cheek, and turns to leave.

But before she does, she bites her lip after which she clenches her teeth, and turns around to tell him, "In the end, we're going to regret the chances we did not take."

* * *

Rebekah bumps into Stefan from behind and pushes a bottle of beer into his empty hands. "You're here!" she exclaims with a loud tone of voice, "I've been looking everywhere for you!" she yells into his ear.

Even though she is standing beside him, yelling, he can barely hear her. The music in there is way too loud.

"Are you drunk?" Stefan cocks his eyebrow at her.

"No," she shakes her head, and he glares at her. She tries to turn her look away from his. "Maybe," she rolls her eyes as he continues glaring at her. She raises her hand in the air and parts her fingers, making a small gap between them, "A little," she replies. "Yes," she breaks under the intensity of his stare. "And I'm having a blast!" she throws her arms in the air and starts jumping around him.

Stefan laughs lightly at her.

He loves every edition of his friend, but drunk Rebekah is probably his favorite Rebekah.

She stops jumping around and eyes hims wearily. "Why aren't you drunk?" she asks him.

There's a smirk on his face. "I'm saving myself for Rome. Italian women need me. I must not let them down," he answers cockily.

Rebekah rolls her eyes at him. "They will survive," she says as she grips his fist with her fingers and raises the bottle to his mouth. He takes a few sips.

He looks down at her. He finally gets a chance to see what she's wearing once bright yellow light falls on them.

He chokes on his beer.

"Holy hell woman," he looks down at her short, silver sequin dress and black pumps, "How did Damon even let you go out dresses like this?" he thinks about how his brother can't be happy with her girlfriend jumping around dressed like this among teenage hormonal bombs.

She puts her hands on her hips and raises her eyebrow at him, "Luckily, I do not need my boyfriends approval to go out dressed in a certain way," she sticks her tongue out at him.

Stefan huffs. "Women," and he takes few more sips of his beer.

Rebekah takes a tequila shot from a waiter who passes by them, "We're pesky little things, aren't we?" she licks the salt from the edges of the glass, "With our needs and wishes and opinions, annoying you strong men and ruining you animal need to mark your ownership on the things you want with our basic human rights crap," she raises her glass to her lips, "Bottoms up!" she makes a sour face as she drinks every drop of alcohol and puts a lemon slice in her mouth.

He smiles at her.

This is why Rebekah is his best friend. Because she's the person who can stand up for what she believes in while she's completely drunk. She can also say so much shit in one minute without even blinking.

She would make a good politician.

"Bekah, there's something I wanted to ask you," he sips on his beer casually, "Who is that girl?" he points his finger at the girl in front who is standing with her back turned to them. "I do not recognize the ass."

Rebekah stumbles in front of him and looks at the girl he's pointing at. She shakes her head. "I have no idea."

Stefan pouts. She has a really, really nice ass.

He takes the last sip of his beer and puts the bottle on the table next to him. "I'm going over there. Wish me luck," he inhales deeply.

Rebekah claps her hands as she watches him go. "Get in there Salvatore!" she yells after him.

As he walks in the girls direction, he can't take his eyes off her ass. It's so perfectly round and middle sized, like two perfectly shaped buns.

He stands behind her and takes a deep breath before he says, "Hey there beautiful," as he pulls his signature smirk over his face.

The girl slowly turns around to face him with a complete and utter shock visible on her face.

Something gets stuck in his throat. "Gilbert, what are you doing here, pretending to be an actual human being?" he spits out at her.

She crosses her arms on her chest, anger mixed with confusion visible on her face. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" she yells at him, clearly irritated.

He keeps on glaring at her. He is completely unprepared for this situation, because this turn of events is the last thing he had expected. Who knew Elena Gilbert had such a nice ass?

She's looking at him angrily, with her arms crossed over her chest, patiently waiting for his response. This is a bad time to be staring at her boobs, Stefan, he thinks for himself. He looks behind her, and her friends are glaring at him as well. Everyone except that perky blonde. She's chuckling.

He wishes Rebekah would come over and save him from this uncomfortable situation he had found himself in. But that's not going to happen. He knows she's probably standing there and having a good laugh.

"I saw a nice ass. How the hell was I supposed to know it belongs to you?" he tries to defend himself.

Did he just openly compliment her ass?

The lines of her face soften, and she blushes slightly.

It's weird. Girls he hangs out with usually do not blush when he says such a thing.

It's a change, and he can't decide is it a positive or a negative one.

He has no idea what to do, so he decides to do what he always does. What he's best at. Say something inappropriate.

"Seriously Gilbert, where have you been hiding that thing?" he smirks at her smugly, "Are you a shape shifter?"

She stomps with her foot on the floor like a little child and an angry sound comes out of her mouth. "You need professional help, you sick pervert," she yells at him, and few people turn around to look at them. She was louder than the music itself.

He doesn't let her push him out of the tact. "Hey, I'm not the one walking around with that fine ass," he defends himself by putting his hands in front of his body, his palms opened.

You're not making it any easier on yourself, he thinks to himself.

"If you like that fine ass so much, why don't you ask it for a dance," Caroline finally voices herself. It was only a matter of time.

Elena turns around and shots a deathly glare at Caroline, but the blonde ignores her.

"I would, but the fine ass comes with that annoying mouth," he says, and Jeremy lets out a chuckle.

Her own brother. Elena wants to throw something at him.

"Or maybe you're too much of a chicken to do it?" Caroline cocks her eyebrow in Stefan's direction.

Well, I guess every person has to have an annoying blonde best friend whose tongue is faster than her brain.

Elena turns around to face Stefan.

"Fine," Stefan huffs, always standing up to a challenge, "Gilbert," he looks down at Elena, "Would you like to dance with me?" he smirks.

"No."

"Oh come on now!"

"Elena," Bonnie says her name in despair, "You're acting like you're going to get cooties from him."

A grin appears on Elena's face. "Well now that you have mentioned it, I might."

Stefan rolls his eyes. "Someone is chickening out," he hums amused.

"I am not a chicken!" Elena whines annoyed.

"If you weren't one, you would dance with me."

"Well maybe I will."

"Well maybe I will too."

"Let's go."

Stefan offers her his hand. "Let's go," he says as she puts her hand in his.

He pulls her after him as he walks through the crowd towards the dance floor, and she turns her head around and mouths to Caroline _I'm going to kill you_, before they disappear in the crowd.

She has never done this. Ever. She has no idea what the hell she's supposed to do. Is she allowed to touch him? How does she react if he touches her?

_The sun goes down, __the stars come out, a__nd all that counts i__s here and now, m__y universe will never be the same, __I'm glad you came._

She's been on a few parties, but usually, she would just sit or stand by the side and watch others have fun. Or their idea of having fun, anyway. Sometimes she would have a few drinks and comment about how some of the girls are dressed, but that's about it.

_You cast a spell on me, spell on me, you hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me, and I decided you look well on me, well on me, so let's go somewhere no one else can see, you and me._

Plus, this is Stefan. She hates the guy, and he hates her. There's a lot of mutual hate. So what are they supposed to do now? Grope each other on the dance floor like nothing matters?

_Turn the lights out now, now I'll take you by the hand, hand you another drink, drink it if you can, can you spend a little time, time is slipping away, away from us so stay, stay with me I can make, make you glad you came._

Life has a tendency to surprise you when you least expect it, or when you're not in the mood for any surprises. She knows that. She knows that life is a game in which rules change way too often. She's fully aware of it since life did it to her too often.

_The sun goes down, the stars come out, and all that counts is here and now, my universe will never be the same, I'm glad you came, I'm glad you came._

Despite her awareness, she had let herself be surprised one more time. She was surprised by a natural way her body was moving next to Stefan's. How her actions and steps came naturally to her. How completely normal it seemed to dance with him in that way.

She had no idea what has gotten into her. Her fingers were in her hair. She was bringing her body closer to Stefan's with every passing second, until she could finally feel his chest on her back. Her slightly wavy hair was flying in the air. She was moving her ass so close to his groin.

She could have felt his hands on her hips.

And she was actually having fun. She was dancing like a lunatic.

She was also surprised by how good it feels to feel nothing like herself.

Then the song stopped, and she remembered every good feeling is fleeting. Every moment is fleeting.

Everything goes back to normal.

A slow song starts playing. She probably knows it, but she can't remember it at the moment, because she has turned to Stefan and they're looking confused at each other. Who the fuck plays a slow songs on parties?

She can feel herself blushing.

"Well, thanks for the dance," she says shyly before she turns around to walk away from him.

She wants to run as far away as she can from this uncomfortable situation.

As she makes her first step, she feels his fingers gripping around her waist, and he pulls her back to himself. She rolls around and bumps into his chest. He's much taller than her, even now when she's wearing heels, so she has to look up at him. Her palms are pressed on his chest as she does so. He takes one of her hands in his and puts the other on his back, and he does the same with his other free hand.

"We said we're going to dance, so let's dance," he tells her.

She's trying to avoid his look, so she only slightly nods.

She becomes afraid of this feeling. Of how comfortable and uncomfortable she can feel at the same time.

"Salvatore?"

"Mhm?"

"Get your hands off my ass."

* * *

When she arrives home she can't wait to get out of her dress and shoes, and slither in her comfortable pajamas. She cleans the make up from her face and ties her hair into a ponytail.

And she falls into her bed tiredly. She's so tired that she thinks she's going to fall asleep as soon as her head hits the pillow.

Except she doesn't.

Her thoughts do not let her fall asleep, but she does not want to let them invade her mind completely.

She hums some song inside of her head while she rolls in the bed until she can't remember how the words go.

She can't forget his hands on her body. Or his breath on the back of her neck. Or how, at one moment, he nuzzled his nose in her hair on the back of her head. How comfortable she felt while dancing with him, or how she felt nothing like herself while being on that dance floor.

She can't forget how good it felt to feel his body next to hers. Or the fact her palms became sweaty when he took her hand into his.

So she started asking herself, does her hate for him exists, or did she create it only to cover feelings she was too scared to admit she has in the first place.

* * *

He knows he shouldn't be thinking about the smell of her perfume. About the fruity smell on her neck he felt as he let out a stream of hot air on it. Or how nice she looks with wavy hair, because it's a nice change from her usual hair style. Or how her eyes popped out now when she had put some more make up on.

And he knows for sure the thought she looks beautiful with or without make up shouldn't have even crossed his mind.

He should be thinking about how amazing her ass is, or how right Damon was, she does have spectacularly long legs. He should be thinking about how hot she looked in that little, tight green dress. He had never seen someone looking so classy in such a short dress.

Hell, it's Elena Gilbert, he should not be thinking about her at all.

"Stefan," drunk Rebekah murmurs his name while lying on the bed next to him, "You slow danced with Elena. That's like saying I love you on the first date," she giggles in the sheets. "You had a metaphorically emotional sexual intercourse with the girl you supposedly hate," she says through a light, tired laugh.

Stefan huffs. "I do hate her," he furrows his brows, thinking how that sentence sounds less convincing than it did yesterday, even to him.

"Mhm. Keep telling yourself that," she says so silently barely he can hear her. "Did you get a soul boner?" she giggles one more time.

A small grin appears on his face. "No, I got an actual boner."

"You get a boner on everything that walks, talks and has a vagina."

"Walking and talking is not obligatory."

"You're disgusting."

"I know."

"Stef?"

"Mhm?"

"I think I'm going to puke."

"Do you want me to take you to the bathroom?"

"Can you bring the bathroom to me?"

"Sure, Bekah."

He gets up from the bed, walks on the other side of it, puts his arms under Rebekah and picks her up in his arms. She throws her arms around his neck and murmurs into his skin, "Thanks Stef, you're the best."

* * *

**AN: There's never too early for romantic development, eh? Baby steps, though. The biggest problem those two have is the fact they really do believe they hate each other. **


	5. Chapter 5

The flight was long and tiresome. Uncomfortable too. They had only one transfer, which was in New York, it was quick and they did not have to wait for too long on the airport. Plane was on time, as scheduled, which is rare, and there was no turbulence while they were in the air.

The bus picked them up at 6am in front of the school to drive them to airport. Everyone were there with their parents, saying goodbye. Some mothers were even crying, like they're sending their seven year old on a school trip for the first time. Caroline was there with her mom, Bonnie's parents came too, even though either of them is rarely in town, she had seen Stefan with his parents and Damon, and his best friend, Rebekah, with a stiff, cold woman standing next to her, and her brother, Niklaus. Elena had always wondered where did he get his name from, it's such a weird sounding name.

Elena did not have a mom to cry for her. She had a dad who did not show up, though. He remembered to call, and Elena suspected aunt Jenna had to remind him his daughter is going overseas for ten days. Aunt Jenna picked her up, even though Elena said she can drive herself. But Jenna insisted saying there are some things she shouldn't, and doesn't have to do by herself. Jeremy came with them too, and to Elena's surprise, so did April.

They handed their luggage to the driver who had put it in the compartment, they said their goodbyes to their loved ones, and headed off to the nearest airport, which was in Atlanta. They flew from Atlanta to New York, and it took them about ten hours to come to Rome.

They had nice seats, even though Caroline made Elena switch theirs because she was near the window, and she started panicking. Elena slept most of the trip, listening to music, or in the meantime talking with Caroline and Bonnie, and both of them were so excited. So was Elena, she had read a lot about Rome and Italy itself, and she couldn't wait to finally see it with her own two pair of eyes.

She had a feeling they're flying into the future, which made her giggle inside of her head every time she would remember it.

While they were in the air, even though the seats were uncomfortable, it's the most relaxed she had felt in days. High above the ground was the only place where Stefan Salvatore did not occupy her mind. She had tried to make those thoughts go away, but she couldn't. Somehow, the memory of them dancing always popped up in her head. In the Chem class both of them stayed awfully quiet, and when his hand scraped against hers, she pulled it away in a hurry, almost knocking down some of the supplies, and he had eyed her wearily.

It was not as much about him as it was about the way he had made her feel. How she felt at the time was on the front of her mind, and he just happened to be there. After some time she started asking herself would she be able to feel that way dancing with anyone else if she ever made herself dance, or was the key in with whom she danced with.

She could not define the feeling either, there was a bunch of them and they were all contradictory.

Every time she would hear his voice on the plane, her mind would wonder to that place, but she was able to shake those thoughts off, so she wished she could stay in the air forever.

When they arrived to Rome it was early in the morning, way earlier than it was when they left from home, which made Elena giggle one more time, even though no one else was fascinated with the fact. Geek, she said to herself.

All of them were so tired when they came to Rome, especially those who got barely any sleep the night before and in the plane. The bus came to pick them up in front of the airport to drive them to their hotel. They were able to see the bits of the city through the bus window.

Everything was so different than it was back home. Buildings were different, streets were different, even people walking on the streets seemed different. Somehow they seemed happier, more relaxed, and no one was hurrying anywhere. They were all acting like they have all the time in the world. Back home everyone were hurrying somewhere, even when they had nowhere to hurry to. People here simply lead different lives, a life Elena would like to lead, because to her it seemed that in Rome time waits for everyone. And she wanted more time. She was in such a hurry to grow up that she grew up too fast.

When they arrived in front of the hotel, which looked quite nice from the outside, the driver opened the luggage compartment for them, and everyone rushed for their luggage. Elena hated crowds and bumping into people so she patiently waited for everyone to get their luggage even if it meant she got to pick it up last. When she arrived into the hotel Mr. Sanders, one of the professors who is accompanying them to Rome, was already handing in the key rooms to the students. He was holding the keys in one giant cup, which made Elena roll her eyes. Men are so unorganized, even the most intelligent ones. Almost everyone were assigned to their rooms, and Bonnie and Caroline were waiting for her in the hotel lobby, used to her being the last one to arrive somewhere. As she walked over to them, her eyes locked with Stefan's, one of the rare students who was still there waiting for his room key with Niklaus and one other football player whose name Elena couldn't remember, but she detached her eyes from his very soon.

"Hmm," Mr. Sanders made an unpleasant sound at the moment Elena joined her friends. "There seems to be a room shortage," he had looked at the remaining students waiting at the lobby. "Give me a moment," he murmured angrily, moving towards the reception. Caroline fell on the sofa, complaining how she just wants to take a shower, and Bonnie suggested to her she can always go to Tyler's room to take one, since he was long gone with Matt and one of his other friend. Caroline replied she does not want to take a shower in the room with three men, even if one of them is her boyfriend.

They have seen Mr. Sanders walking towards them, red in his face. "Those idiots gave us less rooms than we requested for," he said angrily, shaking his head, and when he noticed confused looks on his students faces, he said, "But I took care of everything," he whistled as he looked at six students standing before him and only three room keys in his hands. He pondered on it for a moment before a smirk appeared on his face.

"Mr. Mikaelson," he said while giving one of the keys to Niklaus, "You and Mr. Zeager can take the room on the 7th floor, number 402," his expression turned serious when the smirk disappeared from his face.

"Ms. Forbes," he handed one of the keys to Caroline, "You and Ms. Bennett can take the room next to them," without thinking, Caroline grabbed the key from his hands and started moving in the direction of the elevators, when Bonnie grabbed her by her wrist to stop her.

"And," he took the remaining key in between his fingers, "You two can share a room," he smiled warmly, giving the key to Stefan.

Stefan took it out of his hand, confused.

"What?" Elena shrieked, making some of the other guests turn their heads in her direction, "I'm not sharing a room with this idiot! I would rather sleep on the street," she crossed her arms on her chest.

Stefan huffed. "Well, doesn't sun shine out of your ass 24/7?" he mocked her, which only made her angrier.

"There must be some kind of a law against this," she yelled.

"My dad is a lawyer, I'm pretty sure two teenagers of opposite sex are not allowed to share a room during school trips," he nods.

Elena brings her eyebrows closer together and shakes her head. "Are you really stupid or do you just pretend to be? Because if you're pretending you're damn good at it," she throws her hands in the air, "There's no such law, you experimental monkey!"

He looks at her angrily. "On whose side are you on, you panicking cow?" he yells at her.

Mr. Sanders puts his palms over his face as he listens to the two teenagers fighting in front of him.

Elena calms down a little. "What I'm saying is, we're two teenagers, a lot could happen, and I'm pretty sure you do not want that," Elena says with a meaningful tone of voice.

Stefan furrows his brows. "In your dreams, Gilbert."

"More like in my worst nightmare, Salvatore," she snaps at him.

"It's true," Caroline confirms tiredly, "There's an unbelievable amount of sexual tension between them, we should have it tested or something," she says, which makes everyone chuckle.

"Not really helping, Caroline," Elena yells without even turning her head around.

Mr. Sanders eyes them carefully. "You two wouldn't touch each other even if your life depended on it," he raises his eyebrow in their direction, "Why do you think I have put the two of you in the same room? Because you two are the only ones about whom I'm sure won't be doing God knows what," he yells at them tiredly, "You're in Europe for Gods sake! Pull that pole out of your ass and have some fun!" he murmurs as he takes his luggage in his hands and starts walking away from them.

The students watched their professor walk away from them, and then they looked at each other. Elena looked over at Bonnie and Caroline helplessly, but she knew there's not anything the two of them can do to help her.

"I really need to take a shower," Caroline whined one last time before she took her suitcase, maxi sized one, and few of the bags in her hands and started walking towards the elevator. Bonnie looked at her compassionately before she took after Caroline. Elena exhaled loudly and started walking after them.

"Uhm, Gilbert," she heard Stefan's voice behind her. She turned her head slowly around, wanting to snap at him, but being too exhausted to do so. She catches him looking at their room key, when he raises his look and says, "We're on the other side," he says calmly.

Really? On the other side of hotel from her friends? They can't even be on the same floor? Maybe her time in Rome will be less magical than she initially thought.

She lets out a loud sigh before she turns around and starts walking towards the elevator on the other side of the hotel. She calls for the elevator when she hears him coming closer to her.

"Do you need a hand?" he asks politely.

"No," she snaps at him, feeling guilty the moment she does so.

Rome was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be different, some other world, some other life. She was supposed to feel the same way she did on that dance floor couple of nights ago, or even better. She was not supposed to be stuck in the room with him.

They enter the elevator and ride to the 4th floor, trying to find the room 215. When they finally find it, Stefan puts the key in the knob and turns it around. He pushes the door wide open and lets her take a step inside. Once she does, he notices a stunned look on her face followed by a tired exhale.

"Of course," she says sarcastically, looking at something behind the door.

Curiously, he enters the room and pushes the door closed before his look falls on the double king sized bed. His look moves from the bed to her disappointed face expression and he says, "It's okay, I'll sleep on the floor."

She shoots him a look and when her eyes meet his, she starts feeling sorry for him. Or she simply starts feeling for him. "No," she shakes her head determined, "You're not."

He furrows his brows. "I'm not letting you sleep on the floor," he says. Maybe the two of them do not have a friendly relationship, and maybe his treatment of women has not been the best, but he would never let a girl sleep on the floor while he takes a king sized bed.

Elena laughs lightly, and he thinks how this is probably the first time after a long while that she laughs honestly in his presence. "No one is sleeping on the floor," she shakes her head, "The bed is big enough for the both of us," she pulls her suitcase behind her, trying to lift it on the bed, "Plus, Mr. Sanders is right. We're probably the only two here who wouldn't take advantage of this room sharing," she can hear him walking towards her as she says so.

"Here, let me help you," he says, putting his hand on the suitcase handle, close enough to hers that she can feel his skin colliding with hers, so she pulls her hand away as fast as she can. She tries not to look up at him so their looks do not meet. He pulls the suitcase up and throws it on the bed, "Dear God woman," he says while panting, "What do you have in there? A grown human being?" he meets her confused look.

"Necessities," she says casually, opening her suitcase.

"Necessities?" he cocks his eyebrow at her, "You do realize we're staying here for 10 days, not the whole year?"

"Ha-ha-ha," Elena says sarcastically, "You should see the amount of luggage Caroline has," she says as she remembers the size of Caroline's suitcase. She did not even know they make them so big. You could fit a small village in there. Or half of Caroline's wardrobe.

"Caroline?" Stefan asks, "Is that the perky blonde one? Tyler Lockwood's girlfriend?"

Elena nods, not even looking at him.

"I hear she's freaky in bed," Stefan sits on the bed next to her suitcase.

Elena glares at him. "Freaky?" she asks confused.

"Yeah," Stefan takes a peek in her suitcase, "Sometimes, she gets too excited."

Elena shakes in disgust. "There are some questions I do not want to hear the answers to."

"Then don't ask them."

Elena wants to argue with him how he was the first one to open the topic, but she's too tired to do so. Too excited sounds like Caroline anyway.

"Wait," she says, raising her look to him, "Tyler talks about their sex life?" she asks with a tone of voice that implies how unbelievable that is.

Stefan smirks. "And Caroline doesn't?"

The lines on her face soften. He has a point. She hates when he has a point.

"Left or right?" Elena asks.

"Excuse me?"

"Side of the bed."

"Oh," Stefan gasps, "Left," he says after few moment of thinking.

"I sleep on the left too," Elena huffs.

His signature smirk appears on his face. "You can always sleep under me," he winks at her.

She smiles. "Don't make me regret this."

She takes her shampoo, conditioner and shower gel and motions herself towards the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower," she informs him before she steps into the bathroom.

"Can I join?" he teases her.

"Sure."

His eyes widen. "Really?"

"No," she says before she slams the bathroom door shut.

* * *

"Not funny, Bekah," Stefan says as he listens his best friend laugh without having any intention of stopping.

They were able to take a shower, unpack and have a little nap before they informed them it's time for lunch. They came down for lunch and were reunited with their friends.

"The two of you, out of all people," Rebekah says through laughter, "It's not funny, it's freaking hilarious."

"Poor, poor Stefan," Katherine says with a baby kind of voice, "Having to share the room with Elena Gilbert," she pouts at him, reaching for his hand.

"Hey man, if you want to switch rooms, I would be more than happy to," Niklaus offers his services, "Elena is hot."

Matt exhales loudly. "She's amazing. I have no idea why do you guys hate her so much," he eyes everyone at the table.

"That's right," Niklaus taps Matt on the back, "You're the only one here who entered the premises," he smiles at Matt, and Matt smiles back at him. He really enjoyed his time with Elena, he was slowly falling in love with her, but unfortunately, it did not work out. "So, how is she?" Niklaus cocks his eyebrow in Matt's direction.

Matt shrugs as a huge grin appears on his face, "She's a natural," he turns to look at Niklaus, "She's one of those girls, how do you call them.." Matt snaps with his fingers, "A firecracker?" he half asks a question, half makes a statement.

Stefan chokes on his drink. "Elena Gilbert is a firecracker?" he asks surprised.

"You have no idea, man," Matt tells him before he leans over the table, "She's also not one of those girls you fuck and then pretend she doesn't exist, Salvatore," Matt warns him.

He knows that. Exactly why he would never have anything with Elena. High maintenance.

"Stefan can turn any girl into that kind of a girl," Niklaus states.

Matt eyes Stefan wearily.

"Calm down, Donovan. I have no intention of sleeping with her."

Rebekah chuckles. "She's probably the only girl in school he does not plan on sleeping with."

"Including you," Matt states, and Rebekah nods.

"Yeah, I have no intention of taking a dip in the same pool my brother did."

Niklaus slaps Stefan on the back of his head. "That's my sister you're talking about."

Stefan leans closer to him as he rubs the back of his head. "Then praise the lord your house does not have thin walls."

Stefan smirks and Rebekah glares at him. If only a look could kill.

"Stefan," Katherine purrs his name seductively, "How about you change rooms with Rebekah and Dana for tonight," she reaches for his hand one more time.

"Why*" Stefan furrows his brows, "What's wrong with their room?"

Niklaus laughs out loud at his comment, and Rebekah chuckles, rolling her eyes. "She wants the full treatment tonight, you idiot," Rebekah informs him.

Stefan looks at Katherine. "Sorry Kath," he says, "I'm afraid I won't be able to assist you tonight. Too tired."

She pulls her hand away, disappointed and offended.

* * *

"You can sleep in our room if you want to," Bonnie suggests happily when they open the topic of her sharing a room with Stefan.

Elena shakes her head while smiling. "I don't think that will be necessary," she says as she looks towards her friends, "He's been surprisingly civil," she furrows her brows. "It would be nice to have my own bed, though."

Bonnie and Caroline shoot her a confused look. "You have only one bed?" Caroline leans over the table and whispers.

Elena realizes how casually she had said that and how it must come of as a surprise to her friends.

"Yeah, there's a king sized bed," she waves her hand at them like it isn't a big deal.

"You can ask Mr. Sanders to ask for another room," Bonnie says sympathetically, "I'm sure he will understand."

"She does not want another room," Caroline says proudly, almost victoriously, "She likes shacking up with Stefan."

Elena rolls her eyes. "Caroline, for a thousandth time, my hateful relationship with Stefan is not the cause of any romantic emotions I hold for him," she whispers so no one can hear her. "I simply do not want any more drama. I want to enjoy my time here."

Caroline and Bonnie share a look before they decided to drop the subject, but both of them know their staying in Rome is about to get much more interesting.

* * *

**AN: Well, things are definitely getting heated up.**

**Thank you for all of your lovely reviews, be sure to tell me what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

To Elena's surprise Stefan acted like a gentleman. He did not make any rude or inappropriate comments, he did not even try to sneak a peek while she was getting dressed into her pajamas. Not that he had a reason to do so, he feels absolutely no attraction towards her, but she thought he would do it for the sake of annoying her. When they went into bed he stayed on his side, and Elena expected some teasing from him, similar to teasing he did that same day, only few hours ago. When she woke up, he was in the same position he was before they turned off the lights. She did some tossing and turning, but he did not even move from his initial position.

She found herself dumbfounded because she felt a bit of disappointment caused by his lack of teasing, so she rewarded herself with a mental slap. Teasing and annoying each other is something they always did, and she felt like something is missing when they found themselves in the same room and did not go through the same routine they've been going through for years. She never thought she would miss it.

He stayed awfully quiet until they went to sleep, she even asked him is everything alright.

The whole atmosphere in the room changed and she did not know how to react to it. It became more personal, more intimate, more normal. There wasn't that much hate or tension or bickering in the room. She felt like they're two old friends sharing a comfortable silence together, and it scared her. It scared her because she had though how easily she could get used to it.

And she did not want to get used to it because people always leave. They never stick around, not for her, and adjusting herself to loneliness one more time would be too hard. She could not afford losing more people, neither physically or emotionally. She did not want to get comfortable in the four walls of the room they shared because she knew they will be leaving Rome sooner than she blinks, and she did not want to get comfortable with him because she knew things will go back to how they were as soon as they land in Mystic Falls.

So she had set some ground rules, first and foremost being not getting comfortable, followed by not letting him in, not even half of a step, because she could remember how much his stomp on her heart had hurt the first time. How much losing him had hurt even though it was all his fault. Even though leaving her was his decision, and even though if it was out of her power, she felt like it was her fault. Like she should have been a better friend, a better person or simply better. Maybe then she would be enough and he wouldn't have left.

There was a set of rules she decided to follow, mostly including him, and Elena Gilbert never breaks any rules.

They woke up at 8am and had breakfast before the bus with their tour guide picked them up in front of the hotel. They had a pretty tight schedule that morning with visiting sights like Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, St. Peter's Basilica and Pantheon. Rome had such a rich history, and their tour guide was talking about the sights they were seeing with such passion and pride. Their tour guide was a middle sized, middle aged man with curly black hair and dark skin. His English was pretty amazing, but he could not hide his Italian accent, especially when pronouncing certain words. He was pretty attractive for a man his age, and some girls even commented on that.

Elena was more into the words coming out of his mouth and things he was pointing at than his looks. She was simply amazed with the history the whole Europe apparently possessed. More than anything, she found it beautiful.

Back home everything was modernized. Old buildings were repainted or remodelized, some important historical sights even bulldozed for more skyscrapers and malls to be built. The importance of those places now exists only in books no one reads placed in libraries no one goes to anymore. It was like everyone were ashamed of their own history, or they simply wanted to get over it. Pretend like it never happened. So they destroyed it. The only things that are still there are the things that were too big to hide or to destroy.

But people here are proud of their own history. They are so proud of it some of the things are protected by law so a human hand can't destroy it, if someone dumb enough who wants it gone comes along. There are big buildings, not so pleasant to the eye, visible from miles along, and no one ever though about repainting them or making them seem prettier. Because there is no way they could look more beautiful than they do now. Standing proudly, looking the same they did couple of thousand of years ago. They keep reminding everyone they have been through a lot, but they're still standing there, as solid as they were so many years ago.

And that's a nice feeling to have. Knowing that the place you live in holds so much strength. Gives you something to be proud of. Gives you more pleasure than pleasant to the eye, modern, five minutes from your house, fully equipped shopping mall ever could.

Elena thought how she would love to live in that kind of a city. How easily she could find a home there. She would instantly feel less alone.

They came back to the hotel around 3pm when they had lunch. They found out Italians serve giant lunches, and they were stuffed. Elena couldn't remember the last time she ate a cooked meal. It was nice having something that did not come from a frozen box.

They were also informed they have the rest of the day off, so naturally all of them motioned themselves to the outside pool.

It was an incredibly sunny day, without a cloud in the sky, something you can rarely see back home. The air was pleasant, there was no smoke or unpleasant smell of the factories, only the natural smell of pine in the air. It took Elena some time to get used to it.

She concluded, alongside Bonnie and Caroline, she could use some color on her skin, and today was a perfect day for it, since the sun wasn't too hot, it was mildly warm and bright. Her skin was as white as snow.

She got changed in her hot pink bikini, tied her long, chestnut brown hair into a messy bun, put a short, yellow cotton summer dress to cover herself on her way to the pool, and a beach towel. She had put some sun creme in her room because she felt uncomfortable with rubbing the creme over her whole body in front of everyone, something she knew Caroline had no problems with.

When she arrived, Bonnie and Caroline already spread their towels near the pool, saving her a place. She came to them with a smile on her face, spread her towel next to theirs, got herself out of her dress, and casually placed herself down on the towel.

Tyler ran over to Caroline and gave her one sloppy peck on the lips before he joined the rest of his friends who were passing by the place they sat their towels on.

"Girls, if you need any help with putting some lotion on your bodies," Niklaus yelled into their direction, "I would be more than happy to assist you," he smirked into their direction, making Caroline giggle, and Elena and Bonnie roll their eyes.

With the corner of her eye she had caught Stefan looking at her while passing by them, and for a moment it seemed like he's checking her out, but she knew that happening is as possible as the rain of toads.

Actually, toads raining from the sky had bigger chances of happening.

"I love Rome!" Caroline exhales as she puts her sunglasses over her eyes and looks up at the sky. An excitement burns in her eyes as she opens her mouth a little to speak, "Let's get some cocktails," she points to the bar on the other side of the pool.

"They would never sell us alcohol, especially not in a hotel," Elena says casually, surprising herself with how much she could go for a cocktail. It's the only thing missing to fill out this movie picture she had found herself in.

"We're in Europe," Caroline says like it should mean something.

"So?" Bonnie looks at her confused.

"You're allowed to buy alcohol since the age of 18," she explains all knowingly.

"Really?" Elena asks surprised.

"Fucking Europeans," Bonnie says through laughter.

"Didn't you guys do your homework?" Caroline frowns at them, "They have it way easier than we do," she gets up from her towel and motions herself and her friends towards the bar.

As they get closer to the bar, they notice the bartender. He's young, probably not a lot older than them, five years tops. He's not wearing any shirt, he's in his sea blue boxer swimsuit. He's very tanned, almost like every other Italian they have seen so far, and he has thick black hair that is reaching his shoulders, and deep, piercing blue eyes. In few seconds they were walking over there, Caroline pointed out, probably hundred of times, how hot he is.

They stand in front of a bar, and he shoots a big smile at them, showing off his snow white teeth.

"Che cosa prende da bere?" he asks with his sexy Italian accent, still smiling at them, so much that it seems his face is naturally constructed that way.

All three of them look at each other, not knowing what to do. Neither of them knows Italian. They keep glancing from one to another helplessly, and when he notices the confusion on their faces, he releases a light laugh.

"What can I get you to drink?" he asks them in a very bad English, but still, it was good enough for them to understand the question.

"I'll have a Pina Colada," Caroline says quickly, determined. He smiles at her and moves his look to Bonnie.

Bonnie wiggles her lips a little before she says, "I'll have a Bloody Mary," she says skeptical since she never tried that one. But since they're in Rome, it's time to try new things. He smiles at her as well before he moves his look to Elena.

Elena's eyes lock with his, but she has no idea what to say, so she keeps silent. The only cocktail she knows is Bloody Screaming Orgasm, and she really, really doesn't want to order than one. She shoots him a smile, "I do not know," she chuckles, "What do people usually drink?"

He chuckles back at her. "You're cute," he makes her blush which is embarrassingly visible on her cheese colored skin, "Why don't you decide while I make these two?" he struggles with some words, but in the end they stumble out of his mouth.

"Deal," Elena answers flirty, a lot more than she initially planned to.

"So, what bring you girls to Rome?" he asks while pouring ingredients into a mixer.

Usually Caroline is the one who takes initiative while talking to strangers. If Caroline is not there, Bonnie does so. Never Elena, she's too shy to talk to anyone, especially people she only met few seconds ago.

But this time, neither of them says a word, and Elena looks at them confused. Caroline gives her a supportive nudge, and points in the bartenders direction with her head.

"Uhm," Elena says, mentally cursing at her friend, "Senior trip, we came with school," she tries to keep it as simple as she can, which is really not a problem since she's always nervous while talking to strangers.

"You guys from America?" he asks, and Elena concentrates on his hair flying in the wind.

"Y-Yes," the word stumbles out of her mouth.

He smiles at her nervousness. "Well, if you need a tour around town, I have a night off today," he winks at her, and she feels like her knees are made out of jello.

* * *

"Stefan, are you listening to me?" Rebekah whines as she splashes Stefan with small amount of pool water. They are resting in the pool, keeping their arms outside of the water, on the edges of a concrete box. The water splashes on his left cheek, but he doesn't seem much bothered by it.

"Who's that guy Gilbert is talking to?" he points in Elena's direction with his eyes. Rebekah looks to where he's pointing at.

"A bartender," she furrows her brows.

Stefan frowns. "Why is she talking to him?"

Rebekah looks confused at her friend. "She's probably ordering a drink, Stefan."

Stefan huffs, still frowning. They spend few moments in silence, Stefan looking at Elena, and Rebekah trying to read the expression of his face.

"Do you think he's Italian?" Stefan asks quickly, "Like Italian Italian?"

Rebekah shakes her head in confusion, trying to understand what's going on, knowing she won't get an answer is she asks the question directly.

"How Italian can one be? Are there levels?" she cocks her eyebrow in his direction.

Stefan does not answer her. He looks like he completely ignored her question.

"Look at him," he says with a disgusted tone of voice, "Parading around shirtless among young girls. He's like hundred years old. Isn't he at his work place? Is it even legal to be shirtless on your work place? His name is probably Giorgio or Andrea or Eros or some other Italian name girls lose their panties over," suddenly a panic washes over his face as he looks at Rebekah, "Do you think he has one of those Italian accents everyone find sexy?" his eyes widen as they lock with Rebekah's.

"Stefan, what the fuck are - " Rebekah yells at him before a wide grin appears on her face, "Are you jealous?"

Stefan looks at her confused. "No. I mean, I don't have an Italian accent, but I have better abs than him," he taps his chest proudly.

Rebekah chuckles. "Not at him, you idiot. At Elena. Are you jealous she's talking to him?"

Stefan glares at her before he bursts into laughter. "Are you on drugs?"

Rebekah directs him a raised eyebrow. "I mean, look at them," she gets closer to Stefan, whispering into his ear, "They're obviously flirting. Doesn't that tick you? How she flirts with him, a complete stranger, but she refuses to do the same with you, someone she knows for years?" Rebekah teases him as she explores the changes on the lines of his face, seeing little hints of jealousy, "Doesn't it bother you, knowing she's the only girl you can't have?"

He turns his head to look at his best friend. "It's okay Rebekah, we will find you professional help for your addiction," he tells her sympathetically, making her roll her eyes. "But you're right," a smirk appears on his face, "She is having fun. Which means it's my duty to spoil it for her," he says while getting out of the pool.

"Stefan, don't be an ass!" Rebekah yells after him.

He turns his look to her and smirks.

Too late.

He's already standing behind Elena, his wet chest slightly pressing next to her back, making her jump when she feels the coldness of the water on her back.

She turns around and when she sees him standing behind her, smirking, she looks at him angrily. She has to admit he looks good, with his wet hair, and his body is as hard as a rock.

"What the fuck Salvatore?" she hisses at him.

"Very lady like, Gilbert," he smirks at her, "What are you doing here?" he asks.

"Ordering a drink, what else?" she snaps at him.

"And Mr. Bartender here is asking here out tonight," Caroline adds.

"Fabio," the bartender says his name after he chuckles at Caroline's nick name for him.

Stefan rolls his eyes. Fabio. Of course.

"No," Stefan shakes his head, "We're not allowed to leave the hotel after 10pm, and Gilbert over here is not the one to break the rules," he looks down at Elena whose eyes are glimmering in his direction.

"I'll bring her home before 10pm," Fabio promises.

Stefan raises his look at him. "Man, you can't bring a girl like her home before 10pm," he winks at him, deserving a punch in the stomach from Elena, "And she will have Sex on the Beach."

"What do you know what I want?" she tells him through her teeth.

"Oh, I know," he tells her meaningfully, "You know too. You just have to stop fighting it," he winks at her.

Caroline and Bonnie chuckle, and Elena puts her hands on her hips as she rolls her eyes at his comment.

"I also know you would love to take a swim in that beautiful pool," he points in the direction of a pool.

"No, thank you."

He smirks. "Oh Gilbert, that really wasn't a question."

"Salvatore, what are you - "

But before she got a chance to finish her sentence, he had put his arms around her waist and lifted her up. She was as easy as a feather, and as her head passed by his nose, he had realized how good her hair smells. Her skin was slick and soft, and it felt nice under his palms.

He turned around and started walking towards the pool.

"Let me go!" she yelled while kicking with her hands and feet, but her desperate tries to get out of his grip were unsuccessful.

"You know Gilbert, from up here, your ass looks a lot better," he comments smugly.

When they reached the pool side, and when she realizes her attempts to get free won't get her anywhere, she accepts the fact she's getting wet today. But she won't go down without a fight.

She had put her legs around his waist, clenching to him, and when he glanced at her confused, she smirked and said victoriously, "If I'm going in, you're going in with me," thinking that will make him change his mind.

He smirked right back at her and said, "Okay," before both of them fell into the pool.

"Urgh!" she yelled annoyed once she resurfaced, "Why do you always have to act so immature?"

"Because I am immature."

She eyed him. He was right, he was probably the most immature adult she had a pleasure of meeting. "You know, you just ruined what might have been a time of my life," she cocked her eyebrow in his direction.

"Like you would ever go."

"How come you're so sure I wouldn't?"

"Because it's against the rules. And you never break those."

"Some rules are worth breaking."

"Maybe. But not this one."

He was right. And she hated it.

* * *

"What is that?" she asks when she notices a giant, white cup in his hands.

"Hot chocolate," he answers while blowing into the cup.

"You ordered a hot chocolate in an Italian hotel during Spring?" she cocks her eyebrow at him.

He nods his head with a smirk. "If you listen carefully, you can hear my father yelling all the way from home "Who the fuck bought a $5 worth beverage?"" he chuckles a little.

"Your dad gave you his credit card?" she asks in disbelief, thinking about how hers would never even dream of doing such a thing.

"For emergencies," Stefan takes a small sip of chocolate.

She bends down and opens the drawer of the bedside table to find her blow dryer. After they got out of the pool, they had dinner, she washed herself up, got into her pajamas, and now she was about to blow her hair dry.

"And this is an emergency?" she asks through a light laugh.

"I'll think of an excuse if he asks any questions," Stefan chuckles, "Want some?"

It smells really, really good.

"Okay," she accepts his offer and turns around on her heel.

Without knowing he's right behind her, she straights her body up, knocking the cup out of his hands, and having the hot chocolate land right on her pajamas.

And it was really, really hot.

"Ouch, ouch," she cries out loud while blowing streams of air on the place the chocolate landed. But it started dripping down her body, and soon enough it was on her legs.

"I'm so sorry," he says seriously, still confused by what happened.

"Help me you idiot," she snaps at him, "Get it off!"

"Get what off?"

"My clothes!" she says angrily, feeling the hotness of the chocolate stinging her skin.

He eyes her wearily but decides to help her since spilling chocolate over her was partially his fault. He pulls the strings of her pajama bottoms and helps her stand out of it as she pulls her pajama top over her head and throws it on the other side of the room. His look falls on her stomach, and he notices slightly red skin caused by the burn hot chocolate made.

She sighs in relief. "That's better," she says as she sits on the bed in nothing but her bra and panties.

"Congratulations Salvatore, you just ruined the only pajamas I brought with me," she says, annoyed with him once more.

He shrugs. "You can sleep naked, I don't mind."

She shoots him a look of warning.

A smirk appears on his face. "Or in what you're wearing now. I never took you for a lace girl, Gilbert."

She blushes when she realizes she's sprawled on the bed in front of him in nothing but her bra and panties.

* * *

"And that's how that incapable idiot spilled hot chocolate all over me," Elena tells Bonnie and Caroline, still angry at Stefan.

She had to get dressed and walk on the other side of a hotel, to Bonnie and Caroline's room, to ask one of them to borrow her something to sleep in, since she felt the most comfortable in a pajama.

"Just like that?" Bonnie cocks her eyebrow in Elena's direction.

"Accidents happen, Bon," Elena rolls her eyes at Bonnie's following question.

Bonnie had nothing to borrow her. She sleeps in Hawaiian shorts and a tank top.

"I know," Caroline says while going through her clothes she did not even bother unpacking from her suitcase, "Men are pigs. They run around with food in their hands and mouth, getting it all over, like animals," she says annoyed, obviously having experience in that area. Elena should have figured as much, her and Tyler are in a relationship for almost two years now. "That's why I always bring a couple of everything," she says proudly, "Ha! Here it is!" she yells victoriously, pulling something out of her suitcase.

Elena sighs in relief, happy she will have something to sleep in.

Caroline throws it at her, and Elena examines it. She opens her mouth when she realizes Caroline gave her a short, silky, baby blue nightie.

"Caroline, I'm not sleeping in this," her eyes widen in her best friends direction.

Caroline shrugs. "It's the only thing I have," she says, and Elena looks at her, examining a very similar nightie on Caroline's body.

"Nevermind. I'll ask Stefan to borrow me his shirt to sleep in," Elena exhales loudly.

Bonnie shakes her head. "That's such a turn on for guys."

"He sees you in that and he will be jumping on you like a hungry monkey on a banana," Caroline adds, confirming Bonnie's words.

Elena cocks her eyebrow at her friends. "You're telling me guys find their shirts on girls sexier than overexposed pieces of clothing that fit them like they're born in it?"

Caroline and Bonnie shake their heads simultaneously.

"There's so much you have to learn about men," Caroline chuckles.

Elena looks at the nightie Caroline had given her one more time before she releases and painful sigh and says, "Fine," before she leaves the room.

* * *

When she comes back to her room, she catches Stefan already in bed, flipping through channels. She shoots him an angry look when his falls on her, and without saying a word she motions herself towards the bathroom to change in the nightie Caroline had given her.

She shuts the bathroom door with a loud thump, and takes her clothes off, until she's standing in nothing but her panties and a bra.

Both of them are pink, and she hopes the nightie is not transparent. She puts it on, and is surprised by how comfortable she feels in it. It falls down her body so naturally, and she has a feeling like something is caressing her skin at all times.

She looks herself in the mirror, and thanks God when she sees the nightie is not at all transparent. She turns around herself and realizes how she doesn't even look quite bad in it. She takes her long hair and ties it into a pony tail, letting it fall down her back.

When she exists the bathroom and steps into the bedroom, his eyes fall on her lazily. When he finally catches a glance of what she's wearing, his eyes widen.

"Gilbert," he says her name, "You look like a woman!" he exclaims with a smirk on his face.

"Fuck off," she tells him calmly.

She walks over to the bed and gets herself under the covers. Her head falls on the pillow and she turns her back to him, but despite even that she can still feel his look on her.

A satisfactory smile appears on her lips.

* * *

**AN: Well, it seems there's some.. progress ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

"Stef," she says his name tiredly, "Stef," she rolls around in the bed and clings on to his arm. "Stefan," she says it one more time since he did not react to her calling his name for the first two times.

He makes a grumbling sound as her voice pierces through his ears. "Why are you awake?" he asks annoyed with her. Next thing he feels is her body close to his, she's curling herself on his left side, putting her arms across his chest. His eyes shoot wide open in confusion, his look landing on her frowning face.

"Gilbert, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" he asks angrily, still confused, but without any intention to back away from her.

"I'm cold," she murmurs into his skin. He's sleeping shirtless. He always sleeps shirtless when the warmer times come. Her hands are resting on his chest, the tips of her fingers caressing his skin, making him more relaxed than he has been in a while.

He eyes her wearily. His look falls down her body and he notices she uncovered herself fully. She's lying on the white sheets in the same silky baby blue nightie she fell asleep in, only now he can feel silk on his body. Her nightie went up her body, curling around her waist, and because of it he has a clear view of her lacy, pink panties. He licks his lips.

"Spring in Rome is as warm as the middle of Summer in Mystic Falls," he furrows his brows, "How the hell can you be cold?" his arm flies behind her and falls on her back, and he makes himself believe it's purely out of comfort.

He is still confused about what's going on. Only few hours ago she was calling him an idiot and telling him to fuck off, and now she was pushing herself in his embrace. Few hours ago he was sure he would never jump into bed with her, but now, having her so close to him, every one of his words fell into water. Having her close to him felt special, like he doesn't want to let her go. She felt familiar and comfortable.

She shrugs his question off before she exhales loudly, almost in relief. Then a devious smirk appears on her face.

"You know, I might just as well take you on that offer," she says with a smokey voice, the words that come out of her mouth vibrating on his skin.

"Oh," he gasps when the delicious vibrations reach his spine and make his skin shiver, "On which one?" he asks curiously as his fingers travel to her hair. He never pulled his fingers through a girls hair before. It shows a certain kind of intimacy, maybe even gentleness. And he never allowed himself to be in that kind of a situation.

Her eyes fly wide open. "The one that includes sleeping under you," she shoots him a daring look, and he locks his eyes on hers in surprise.

For the first time after a long while there's a smirk on her face and confusion written all over his. Before he gets a chance to react to her words, she pulls herself away from him, and the next thing he knows, she's putting her leg on the other side of his body and sitting on him. She smirks at him once again before she takes them hem of her nightie in between her fingers and pulls it over her head. He examines her body. He starts with her long neck, and the first thing he notices are two moles on it, placed so closely together than they remind him of a bite. He continues to her collar bones which are sticking out of her body before his look falls on her decent sized breasts which are held tightly together by her bra. He pulls his eyes down on her perfectly flat stomach, and he especially notices her hip bones. Once again he notices how long her legs are.

She puts her hands behind her back and reaches for the clasp of her bra, when he stops her. She looks at him confused.

"Leave it on," he tells her quietly, and she grins at him smugly, knowing she's holding him at the palm of her hand. She smiles at him with a smile of a woman who knows she has what she wants.

She pulls her body down on his, her stomach on his stomach, her chest on his chest, and she brings her lips close to his ear, "You know Stefan," he can feel a hot stream of air on his ear, "I always knew you like lace," she giggles silently as those words come out of her mouth.

Firstly, he notices she used his first name this time. Secondly, the fact she's been thinking about what he likes turns him on.

She's right, he loves to see lace on a girl. Especially when the color of it does not blend with the color of her skin, but contradicts it, like what she's wearing now. Hot pink lace on her snow white body.

Something gets stuck in his throat when she pulls her lips from his ear and plants them on his chest. She keeps one of her hands on his shoulder, and the other one travels down his body and she takes a hold of his package.

He can feel her smile against his skin. "I always wanted to know are the stories true," he wants to ask what stories, but he can't concentrate on nothing but her long fingers traveling up and down his member. Finally, she pulls her hand away and straightens her body, locking her eyes on his. A smirk makes an appearance on her face again. "They're more than true," she bites her lower lip, "A lot, lot more," she says seductively.

His lips quiver. What the hell is going on, he thinks to himself. Focus Stefan, he says inside of his head, it's not like you're doing this for the first time.

It might as well be. He never felt like this before. Like she's making him feel.

When she pulled her nightie off, only one word came to his mind. And it was not sexy or hot or fuckable. It was beautiful.

Stefan, you fucking pussy, he gave himself one big, mental slap.

She pulled his bottoms down, alongside his boxers, smirking at him devilishly. She was seducing him with her look, making him keep his eyes on hers. The innocent look of her light brown eyes was now replaced with a devilish one.

She lowered her panties down, and sat on him. When she felt his full length inside of her, she gasped. When she got accommodated to him, she smiled in his direction.

She started moving on him, first slow, then faster, and when she quickened her pace, his hands flew to her hips. He squeezed them tightly, and she released a loud gasp of air in relief.

"Stefan," she says his name while putting one of her hands on his chest, riding him faster and faster with each passing second. "Oh my God," this time, she yelled.

He held her by her hips as he started pounding into her, first slower, then faster.

"Stefan," she screamed his name, "You're poking me," she said, this time more silently.

"Yeah baby, you can call it whatever you want."

"Stefan," he had heard her saying his name annoyed, "Stop poking me," he raised his look to her face, confused, and his eyesight started getting foggy. He shook his head, but it did not help. He could see glimpses of her face, then glimpses of a window, white sheets, wardrobe. Loud screams consisting of _"Stefan, I'm cumming, you're making me cum!"_ mixed with angry and annoyed, _"Salvatore, what the fuck are you doing?"_ The feeling of relief he felt inside of her wetness got replaced by his groin pressing onto something hard.

One more loud scream of his last name coming from her throat finally woke him up. It took him few seconds to realize what's going on before he opened his eyes lazily.

Did he.. Did he just have a sex dream about Elena Gilbert?

Sweet merciful lord.

"Salvatore, your elbow is pressing onto my spine," she whines.

"Gilbert, my elbow is nowhere near your spine," he tells her, kinda annoyed at her for waking him up. They were having a good time. He knew the only way Elena could loosen up is in his dream.

"Well something is poking into my spine," she turns around and throws the covers off them. "Oh my God," she says, and he chuckles in his head at how familiar those words are, and how better they sound when she says them with a different tone of voice. "You're disgusting!" she yells at him while getting off the bed. "Can't you get few days without sex?" she stomps with her foot on the floor.

He raises his head, furrowing his brows, confused by her words, before he realizes what's going on. He can finally feel how hard he is. Well, depending on the dream he just had, it's no wonder, even though it's kind of embarrassing. He catches her looking at him, and then glancing down at his erection.

"I'm sorry?" he murmurs tiredly.

"Urgh," she says as she throws her hands in the air, turning around and heading for the bathroom.

Once she's in, his head falls on the pillow and he covers his face with his palms. Nice job, Stefan. Nice fucking job.

"Are you going to be long in there?" he yells, but she does not answer him. "Because I kind of need to go in there," he chuckles, "Unless you're willing to help."

"Go fuck yourself Salvatore."

"Well I'm trying to but you don't want to get out of the bathroom."

The next thing he hears is her annoyed, loud scream before the bathroom door fly open.

* * *

"Elena," Bonnie pokes Elena's arm with her finger, "Sweetie, are you okay?" she asks her with a caring tone of voice. Elena hums as she goes sloppily through her breakfast. "You've been really quiet ever since you came downstairs," Bonnie tries to get her best friends attention, but fails miserably. She looks at Caroline helplessly.

Caroline simply shrugs, eyeing Elena. "Has something happened," Caroline asks, a little bit less warm than Bonnie.

Elena slowly raises her look at her friends and looks at them emotionless before she releases a loud sigh. "Okay, there is something," she raises her hand and reaches for her hair to put the strain that's been hanging across her face behind her ear. She inhales deeply before she looks at her friends again. Both of them lean a little across the table, ready for some new gossip.

"Uhm," Elena wiggles her lips nervously, "This morning," she starts playing with her fingers, "Before we woke up," she stutters a little, "I mean when we woke up," she tries to find the right words, but fails. She looks at her friends desperately.

Bonnie is looking at her confused, and Caroline looks like smoke is going to come out of her ears any minute now. She's so red in her face, and her cheeks become puffy as she raises her voice, "What happened Elena?" she asks like a child who can't hold it in any longer.

"It was there," Elena blushes as she whispers to her friends.

Bonnie cocks her eyebrow in Elena's direction, confused. "What was there?"

"His thing."

"What thing?"

"The thing in his pants."

"His penis?"

Elena nods and Bonnie and Caroline look at each other confused.

Bonnie looks warmly at Elena, "Sweetie, it's always there. It's part of his anatomy."

Elena rolls her eyes. "It was up."

Caroline's eyes pop out. "He had an erection?"

Elena nods shyly.

"How do you know?"

"I felt it on my back."

Elena prayed to God no one can hear what they're talking about.

Caroline laughs out loud sweetly. "Figures as much," she covers her mouth with her open palm, "That nightie always gives Tyler a hard on."

Elena shoots her a deadly glare. "You gave me a nightie which makes your boyfriend hard?"

Bonnie intertwines before the two of them get into a fight over some trivial thing. "Not that I'm underestimating your sexual power," Bonnie clears her throat with a cough, "But guys get erections all the time."

Elena exhales tiredly. "I did not even think he got it because of me - "

"But there's always a chance he did," Caroline hums amused as she interrupts Elena in the middle of her sentence.

Elena nods at Caroline's comment. "So I wanted to know, do you guys think I'm teasing him in any way?"

Caroline rolls her eyes at how naive Elena is being. "You have boobs, ass and a vagina, of course you're teasing him."

Bonnie nods her head in confirmation.

Caroline leans over the table. "Elena, can you honestly tell me you've never wondered are the stories true?" Caroline cocks her eyebrow at her friend. "He doesn't treat any of those girls very nice, and still, they keep coming back to him. He must be doing something right."

Elena wants to say no to her questions, but her blushing cheeks give her out. Caroline gets her answer without Elena even having to say a word.

"You hate him, but the thought still crossed your mind," Caroline exclaims victoriously, "It's probably the same for him."

* * *

"Oh man," Rebekah barely says through laughter, "You have it really hard for this girl," she bursts into more laughter than she's been before.

Stefan shoots her a look.

"No pun intended," she snorts.

"You know," he says as he takes a sip of orange juice, "When I tell you something, as a friend, you're supposed to generously offer me advice and comfort, not make fun of me," he directs her a sarcastic smile.

"But it's so funny," she laughs while taking a bite of a strawberry.

"It's not funny, Bekah," he puts his palms over his face, "It's a fucking serious situation," he whines a little.

"It's not like she's never seen an erection, Stefan," she rolls her eyes at him, thinking about how overly dramatic he's being.

"It's not about that," he pulls his fingers through his hair nervously.

"And I know this is not the first time you've been fantasizing about her."

Stefan shoots her a confused look.

Rebekah rolls her eyes. "Can you honestly tell me you never thought about being with her?"

Stefan frowns. "I'm a guy. I have so many perverted thoughts that my brain has to restart every week, so even if I did, I would not remember," he finds a way to get out of the messy situation.

Rebekah furrows her brows. "Then what is it?"

He keeps looking at her for few seconds before he finally says, "I felt."

Rebekah frowns. "Yeah, it's called and orgasm."

"Fucking hell Rebekah," he raises his voice a little, "I mean, I felt," he lowers it when he realizes he turned few heads, "It. I felt it."

Her eyes pop out. "Holy shit," she leans closer to him.

"I have the smell of her shampoo stuck up my nostrils," he says annoyed, "How the fuck do I know the smell of her shampoo?" he asks Rebekah desperately, like she holds an answer to his question. Like she can offer him an explanation. "And the dream," he shakes his head, trying to get it out of his head, "It was so vivid. Her beautiful eyes, those kissable lips and her fucking silky skin," he shoves his face into his palms, "And the worst thing is, I have no idea is it the product of my imagination or a real thing."

Rebekah eyes him confused. "What exactly?"

He chuckles. "Her skin. All I want to do is tear her clothes off and feel her skin. That's not normal," he throws his hands in the air.

She has no idea what to say. She does not know how to react, or how to handle this side of Stefan.

"The worst thing is, I did not even get to fuck her, she fucking fucked me," he says with a muffled voice, "She was so close next to me and I pulled fingers through her hair.."

Rebekah knows only one version of Stefan. She did not know who he was before he became this version of himself, and she really did not care. She loved him for who he is, and if he ever decided to go back to his old self again, she would love that guy too.

Stefan was never the one to get into relationships or to develop feelings towards someone, she knew that. She did not know why, though. And she never asked any questions.

"Stefan, it was only a dream," she tries to comfort him.

A small smile appears on his face. "Yeah," he looks at her, "And when I woke up, I wished it were real."

* * *

**AN: Thanks to everyone who are reading and reviewing, or doing one of those things! :)**


	8. Chapter 8

She started avoiding Stefan. It's been three days since the incident, and they haven't spoken a word since then. Whenever he came into the room, she went out, and when she came back, he usually wouldn't be there. She would fall asleep on the edge of her side of the bed, and when she woke up, he would be there, leaning on the edge of his side.

Avoiding him wasn't hard since it seemed he's avoiding her too.

Elena, Caroline and Bonnie made some plans to head to the town for some gelato. It would be such a shame to come to Italy, to Rome out of all places, and not try real Italian ice cream. It was early in the afternoon, and this must be the hottest day in Rome since they arrived, so Elena squeezed herself in her jean shorts and pink tank top. She tied her hair in a high ponytail and placed her sunglasses on the top of her head.

Since the day of the incident, how Elena likes to refer to it in her head, she's careful to do everything in the bathroom, especially changing her clothes. Before, when he wasn't in the room, she would just change her clothes there, without thinking he could come back at any given time. Now she's being extra careful, and doing everything that requires taking any piece of her clothing, in the bathroom.

She knew there's a small chance that what happened has to do with her, but she wanted to make sure she's not teasing him in any way.

She opens the bathroom door, without even looking makes a step outside, and the next thing she knows she's bumping into something or someone. She bumps into something hard and strong, and when she looks up, she notices Stefan staring at her. He's as confused and surprised as she is. There's something stuck in her throat and she swallows. Her chest is pressing onto his, and she feels like she can't breathe. She feels like her lungs are empty of air, but out of some reason, they're rising up and down more, and faster than usual. She has so many words, but she knows she's not going to use any of them. There are certain situations over which she has no power.

Stefan looks baffled, too. She can feel his stiff body next to hers, but then he relaxes and a smile appears on his face. Of course. Stefan Salvatore would never allow himself stay speechless in front of anyone. He never loses his cool. So why would he now, over her?

"Going somewhere?" he pulls his signature smirk over his face as he looks up and down her body, almost unnoticeable, unless you're expecting him to do so.

She shakes a little from all the possible scenarios and images going through his head.

She glares at him for few moments before she finally regains her composure. "Yes," she says quietly, "Out," she mumbles, separating her body from his, and stepping away from him.

She picks her bag from the bed and throws it over her shoulder, hurrying towards the door. She feels like there's no space, or air, in the room for them both. Her hand flies on the doorknob and tries to turn it around, but it doesn't even budge. She has to get out of there, so she tries again, this time more violent.

"It's locked," she hears his calm voice and the sound of keys being pulled out of his pocket, but she does not respond to his words. She's not even sure her brain managed to process the information due to the lack of air in the room.

Why is she panicking? Why does she feel like this? Why can't she be in the same room with him for more than a minute? What's this tugging feeling in her chest?

These things happen, they're teenagers. Even if they weren't, these things still do happen. Incidents happen. She was probably not even the cause of his feelings, and his reaction to those feelings had nothing to do with her, but out of some reason, she was strongly affected by it.

She basically straddles the doorknob like a crazy person.

"Elena, the doors are locked," she barely notices he called her by her first name when she pulls on the doorknob one more time and it ends up in her hands. She looks at the round, bronze thing in her hands before she releases a loud sigh.

She drops the knob on the floor, and she herself falls on the armchair behind the door, and she whines desperately, "Why do these things keep happening to me?" she covers her face with her open palms, "It's like I'm cursed or something," she throws her hands in the air out of despair.

"Look, Gilbert - " he says, having no intention listening to her whine about her every day problems, when she interrupts him in the middle of the sentence.

"And whenever these things happen, you just happen to be around," she says like she hasn't even heard him say a word, "Fate is probably having a laugh somewhere out there for putting us in these situations," she chuckles holding on her sobs.

When he hears the weight of her voice, and how sharp it is, he decides it's better for him not to say anything, he might only make the situation even worse than it already is.

She keeps on looking at one spot on the wall when the first tear escapes her eyes and falls down her cheek, making him gasp silently.

"Rome was supposed to be different," she tries to clear her face from tears, but as she wipes off one, the another one falls down her cheek, "I was supposed to be different," he sits on the bed, looking at her confused.

He leans his body forward, making his back bend, and intertwines the fingers of one hand with the fingers of the other hand, making his fists clench together, "Why in the hell would you want to be different?" he furrows his brows, eyeing her.

Elena always seemed so confident, like every move she made is exactly what she wanted to do. Like every one of her decisions, even the things she did not plan to happen, somehow perfectly fell into the plan she had all along. He never thought Elena would ever want to be somebody else, or that she's not satisfied with her life.

She slowly raises her head to look at him with the corner of her eyes before she says, "Because I'm tired of being invisible," she says those words through a sob.

He was little taken back by her words. He never though of Elena as invisible. She's the class president, she's in the book club, last year she won an award for the best literature work by young author. She also writes for the school newspapers. She wears those silly graphic shirts he secretly likes, and her legs look really, really good in jeans. Elena may not be the most popular girl in school, but she's not invisible either, because everyone know who she is.

She's also the only person who ate the pancakes made by his nine year old self without one complaint. She's the girl who he had taught how to swim, and she's the girl who sprained her wrist on her second tennis practice and never took a racket in her hands again. She's the girl who, in the kindergarten claimed that rainbow is an actual color, and her favorite nevertheless, and who, when they were six, vacuumed his hair until it became so tangled that his mom had to cut it off. He was one bald six year old on who's head she decided to draw clouds with crayons.

Even if she was invisible to others she sure as hell wasn't invisible to him.

"You're not invisible," he says.

"Yes, I am," she argues, "I'm invisible to my family, friends, even strangers I pass on the street. I've been invisible my whole life, and for the better part, I was fine with it. Until this year. Until I've realized this is my last year here and that I have nothing left. I walk through the school hallways and I have no memories, pleasant or unpleasant ones. And that made me want to be seen. When I realized I'll have nothing to say about my years here when someone asks me," her own words only make her cry harder.

He shakes his head. "That's not true."

"Of course it is," she chuckles painfully, "I have never been to any parties. I have never had a real boyfriend," she looks up at him, and when her eyes meet his, she says, "I was never in love," she swallows those words like she's ashamed of them, like she's regretful she never loved someone.

To him, that was silly. He never wanted to love someone, and here she is crying for not having a chance to love someone.

"Sometimes I wish I was one of those popular girls," she lowers her look down.

He laughs out loud, "No, you really don't," he shakes his head, and she looks up at him curiously. "Elena," he calls her by her first name again, and this time she notices, "Those girls won't have anything nice to say either. They will go to college, some of them will realize that sleeping with a bunch of guys is nothing to brag about, and some of them will continue sleeping with a bunch of guys and then they will have children of their own and realize that they will never be able to share their experiences with them, because they wouldn't want them to act the same. One day, you will be able to sit down with your kids, and maybe you won't be able to tell them about all the parties you've been to or all the boyfriends you had, but you will be able to tell them about your friends who were there for you, and about all the experiences you've achieved, and how it was a great experience for you because you were who you wanted to be, not someone others told you to be," she eyes him curiously, almost with surprise while he talked about her in such a way that he only brought more tears to her eyes, "You're not invisible, Elena. You only make yourself invisible."

"I make myself invisible because people convince me I am. Because guys like you do not even notice me."

He chuckles, more to himself than to her comment. "You couldn't be more wrong," he shakes his head, "There are people who see you more clearly than you think."

She looks at him confused, surprised and curious, awaiting for him to continue with his argument.

"You would be surprised with how much guys talk," he smiles to her. Guys talk as much as girls do, the only difference is that they do not go around stabbing knives in each others back. "So I know for a fact guys notice you. I mean, you're," he tries to find the right word when he finally blurts out, without thinking, "You're beautiful," he surprises himself by his choice of words, and her cheeks blush as she takes her look away from him.

She would be able to handle hot or sexy or something similar to that without blushing. But beautiful is something completely different. It's more personal. It's more than pretty or good looking or when someone tells you that you have a nice face.

When someone tells you you're beautiful, they're talking about more than your looks.

"Guys simply do not know how to approach you because you put these walls around yourself," he explains, "And girls like Katherine and Dana and 'wide legs' Sally are intimidated by you because they're afraid one day guys will get bored with them and decide to climb over the walls you're hiding behind," he tries not to look her in the eyes but he fails miserably. That's something that holds his look on hers, and for a moment he feels like there's not a force powerful enough to tear his look away from hers. "They're intimidated because they know, in the long run, girls like you have so much more to offer."

Elena looks at him emotionless, with tears still on her face, "That's the thing. Guys never want what I have to offer," she says somewhat hurtfully.

"That's not true," he furrows his brows like he's personally offended, "I remember when you were dating Matt," she shoots him a confused look, "He used to talk a lot about you, you know?" a light smile appears on Stefan's face, "I think he really loved you," he says which makes Elena's heart ache because she was never even close to loving Matt. "He would talk about you guys going to the cinema or having a date in the Grill, or about some trivial thing you said that made him laugh, and the only thing I could think of is what a lucky guy he is," Stefan tells her truthfully, because as much as he never wanted a relationship, as much as he never wanted the mess of loving someone and being hurt by the same person, there were times when he craved for it.

Elena keeps on looking at him surprised before tears fill her eyes. But they do not fall down her cheeks, they simply group in the corners of her eyes, and stay there making her eyes glimmer under the sunlight. She parts her lips a little and a silent, husky voice comes out of her mouth, "Where were you Stefan?" she asks him and he lowers his head out of humiliation because he knows to what she's referring to.

Sometimes his actions, his behavior towards her stings him a lot, even though he was a just a kid and did not know better.

"I - I don't know," he stutters a little while saying those words.

"My mom died and you did not even call. I was so alone," she cries out loud, "My dad barely talked at all, and Jeremy talked about everything but her. Everyone started acting like she was never here, and I couldn't," she looks at him, her pain piercing through him, "I needed my best friend and you weren't there," those words escape her lips.

He turns his head the other way. "I'm so sorry," he says, guilt crushing down on him.

"I know we stopped talking few months before she died," she continues like he hasn't said anything, "But I thought you might come when you hear that she's gone. I waited for you but you never came," her words make him turn his head to her again, and their eyes lock, "I kept thinking about what I did wrong. Did I push you away? Was it something I did?" she asks him with a husky voice, "Why wasn't I enough, Stefan?" she finally asks him.

His heart breaks into two when he imagines 12 year old her asking herself what did she do wrong. He gets down on his knees and kneels in front of her, taking her hands into his.

"You didn't do anything," he tells her, caressing the top of her hand with his thumbs, "I did. It was all me," he lifts one of his hands to her face to wipe the outline of her tears from her face, "I was an idiot. You were perfect."

* * *

"Elena, where are you?" Caroline yells as she pushes the door of her and Stefan's bedroom open, "Bonnie and me are waiting for you in the lobby for half of hour already," she says angrily before she steps inside and looks towards the bed.

Her eyes pop wide open when she sees Elena sleeping next to Stefan, her face nuzzling on his side, and her arm sprawled across his chest. Stefan motions her to be quiet by putting his finger across his lips, mouthing 'psssst' to her. He gently takes Elena's arm with his hand and moves away before her arm falls on the bed.

"She was heading to meet you when she had some pre-adolescent crisis," Stefan explains to Caroline who's still eyeing him wearily.

"So you offered yourself as a human pillow?" Caroline cocks her eyebrow in his direction.

Stefan smirks at her. "Well, I'm a much better option than the actual pillow," he answers smugly.

Caroline smirks right back at him. "Don't you hate her?"

Stefan pulls his fingers through his hair, "I don't think it's possible to hate Elena," he looks back at the sleeping girl on the bed.

Caroline wants to yell victoriously, but she decides not to. "She doesn't want to tell me why she hates you, though," she decides to play it from another angle.

Stefan exhales loudly as he looks back at Caroline. "I don't think she doesn't want to tell you. I think she simply doesn't have an answer to that question," he huffs.

Caroline looks at him curiously before she asks desperately. "What happened between the two of you?"

Stefan keep looking at the usually perky blonde in front of him before his face relaxes and he says, "She was my best friend and I stopped talking to her because she was someone others didn't want her to be," he answers, kinda disappointed with himself.

Caroline ponders on that for quite some time before her eyes pop wide open, "You stopped being her friend because she did not have enough popularity potential?" she spits out disgustingly.

Stefan lowers his look and nods humiliated. "I was a douche, I know. We started middle school and I wanted to play football and kiss girls and Elena was still the same girl I met at the kindergarten. She was herself, no excuses, and she did what she wanted to do, and believed in what she wanted to believe in."

"And other people did not like that?"

He shakes his head. "No."

Caroline eyes him for a moment.

"Do you ever regret choosing them over her?"

"Every single day for the past six years."

* * *

**AN: As much as I love teasing and sexual tension, fluff and opening their hearts to one another is still my favorite to write.**

**Be sure to tell me what you think about this, and thank you for all of your wonderful reviews of the previous chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9

"This one," Rebekah takes her blue sequin dress in her left hand and raises it in the air, "Or this one?" she takes the pink one with ruffles in the other hand.

Stefan cocks his eyebrow in her direction. "Don't you have any girl friends you could discuss this with?" he sprawls himself over the leather armchair behind the door.

Rebekah huffs. "All the girls I know dress like sluts," she says with a smirk on her face by which she knows he knows she actually wanted to say that all the girls she knows are sluts.

"And you're holding two nun habits in your hands," Stefan mocks the awfully short dresses Rebekah is holding in her hands.

Rebekah rolls her eyes. She got used to Stefan's comments and provocations. In the beginning she would get mad, sometimes even offended, but there were more things she liked about Stefan than disliked which is why she stayed friends with him. He knows how to be mean, even though he usually speaks the truth, and once she accepted that as a form of his humor, she started laughing at his jokes inside of her head, even when they were about her.

"So, which one?" she raises both hands in the air at the same time.

"Try the blue one," he points at the blue sequin dress she's holding in her left hand.

Rebekah sighs as she throws both of the dresses on the bed and starts taking her clothes off. She takes off her thin, yellow, cotton top off and matching shorts barely visible under her lengthy top.

Stefan was always fascinated by his relationship with Rebekah. He loves women, and he finds them attractive, every single one of them. He enjoys looking at them, thinking about them, fascinating about them. It's a sickness every teenage boy has, or better to say every man, even when they step into their adulthood. But he was never attracted to Rebekah. She's beautiful with her sunlight blonde hair and deep sea blue eyes. She's a picture perfect of the woman every man would like to have with her lean waist and long legs. She's one of the most beautiful girls in town, state, and to Stefan's opinion, in the world, but he never looked at her like he looks at other girls, even with her bad girl attitude behind which she hides her grace.

He remembers the first time he had seen Rebekah Mikaelson. First year of high school, she moved with her mother and brother to Mystic Falls because her mother got a new job opportunity here. He wondered which lousy job did she do before because Mystic Falls does not offer quality unless your family is here for generations, but he forgot to ask. Rebekah was wearing washed out jeans and beige leather jacket over ordinary black tank top. Stefan shook his head over her initial mistake. Girls around the school usually wore their cheerleading outfits or outfits which were similar to their cheerleading ones. Girls who dressed differently weren't considered important. But Rebekah did not care about their rules or opinions, she continued being herself. Something Stefan was always scared of being, but respected others who had enough courage to stand up for what they believe in, even if it was something as trivial as a piece of clothing.

Soon enough everyone started wearing washed out jeans and leather jackets and tank tops. Rebekah did not care about everyone else dressing like her which only made others want to dress like her even more.

She was different, she was being herself, she was funny and sarcastic, and he instantly knew he wants her as his friend. It took some time and a lot of work to make Rebekah warm up to him, but once she did, she never thought about leaving his side.

"How are things with Elena?" Rebekah asks as she takes the blue dress from the bed and starts putting it on her body over her head.

Stefan ponders a little on his answer. "She's back to being extremely Gilbertish," he says.

Rebekah chuckles a little to Stefan's word play. She had managed to figure out what went down between him and Elena by using pieces of information she had pulled out of Stefan, and the ones she blackmailed her way out from Damon. And she knew things are not as simple as Stefan describes them. She doesn't talk a lot with Stefan about his feelings and internal struggles, and when she does, he wraps his answers with a big, nice bow of humor. But that doesn't mean she doesn't know how he feels about a certain situation at any given moment. There's a reason why the two of them became best friends. He doesn't talk a lot, and she hears the words that doesn't even have to come out of his mouth.

Rebekah was sure he's attracted to Elena. She wasn't sure is he hiding or is he not aware of it himself.

"Do you have any more fantasies about the two of you making love?" she says the words 'making love' with a mocking tone of voice.

Stefan furrows his brows. "We weren't making love. We were fucking," he snaps at her, offended.

He always does that, whenever someone mentions love. He snaps at everything that has to do with love.

"So?" she asks, twirling around herself, "What do you think?" she shows off her dress.

Stefan wiggles his lips. "Try the other one."

She huffs as she takes the dress in between her fingertips and pulls it over her head. In the moment she throws the dress on the bed, the door of the room open and Elena walks in.

Her eyes pop out of her skull when they fall on Rebekah standing in front of Stefan in nothing but her underwear.

"I'm so, so sorry," she apologizes as she takes a step backwards and pulls the door with her.

"I'm just trying on some dresses," Rebekah yells after her which makes Elena stop walking backwards. Her look falls on Stefan when she comes back in the room, and she can see he's eyeing her legs.

"Gilbert, Gilbert," he shakes his head, saying her last name through his teeth, "Do you always think about sex?" he smirks at her smugly.

She keep her look on him, trying to stop herself from blushing. To her surprise, she succeeds. She smirks back at him, and that pushes him off his game a little. She pushes the door closed behind her.

"I'm Rebekah," she breaks the eye contact between Elena and Stefan by introducing herself when she realizes Stefan is not going to. She stretches her hand out to Elena, and it takes few moments for Elena to look away from Stefan to her.

Elena smiles gently at Rebekah as she makes few steps towards her and takes her hand into hers, "I'm Elena," she shakes Rebekah's hand. Elena keeps on smiling at her, and once she lets go off her hand, she comments, "I did not realize the two of you - "

"If you finish that sentence, I'm going to puke," Stefan warns her with a disgusted look on his face, rubbing his stomach, "She's like my sister."

Rebekah smiles at the choice of words Stefan decided to use to describe her, and Elena nods her head knowingly.

"Sorry," she shrugs, taking her bag off her shoulder and dropping it on the bed, "I was simply not aware of the fact Stefan can look at half naked women and not get a happy."

Rebekah chuckles at Elena's choice of words. She did not use 'get a happy' for an erection since secondary school. She liked how innocent Elena was.

Stefan rolls his eyes. "I do not have any sexual desire towards my future sister in law," he comments, knowing it will make Rebekah angry.

Rebekah hated talking about the future. 90% of high school relationship do not last beyond high school, is what she likes to repeat to him.

And he would reply how marriages based on high school relationships rarely end in divorce.

He often teased her but it would be nice to have Rebekah as part of the family. Something that would make him sure he will have Rebekah in his life forever.

Rebekah shoots him a deathly stare as she pulls a pink dress down her body.

Elena looks at Rebekah confused. "You and Damon?" she asks surprised.

She never took Damon for someone who would get into a relationship with a younger girl.

She never took Damon for someone who would get into a relationship.

A sweet smile makes an appearance on Rebekah's face as she nods in Elena's direction.

"I saw him couple of days ago," Elena wiggles her lips, "He hasn't said anything to me."

Stefan chuckles. "He's a 23 year old dating an 18 year old, not something you go around telling people."

Rebekah glares at him before she takes a shoe off her foot and throws it at him. The shoe bumps off his chest and falls into his lap, and he releases one loud "ouch" as he starts caressing his chest with his open palm.

Rebekah turns around to face Elena. "We haven't been going out for so long," she smiles as she takes the hem of her dress in between her fingertips and pulls it over her head, "Few months," a sweet smile creeps on her lips. It takes her few moments to regain her posture and for her cold and indifferent face expression to replace her cheery one. She puts both of the dresses on the bed, one next to another, and after she looks down at them, she asks, "So, which one?"

"Blue."

"Pink."

Stefan and Elena look at each other.

"Oh come on!" he throws his hands in the air, "She looks fucking amazing in the blue one."

Rebekah furrows her brows. "He has a point, the blue one fits me well," she eyes the dress wearily, trying to remember when had she bought it.

Elena shakes her head. She walks over to the bed and takes the pink dress in her hands. She presses the dress next to Rebekah's body. "You have a flawless tan," Elena compliments Rebekah, "You're not too dark, but you're not as pale as I am, so this color of pink fits you well. Plus, it goes really nice with your hair color," she smiles in Rebekah's direction as she examines her hair. "You do not have one ounce of fat on your body either, so ruffles look well on you," she says even though she's not the biggest fan of ruffles. She puts the dress on the bed and picks the blue one and presses it onto Rebekah, "Salvatore over here likes this one better because he's looking it from the guy perspective," she gives Stefan an eye, "It's way shorter than the other one, it has a zip on the front so it makes it easier to take off. It's too shiny, though," she looks up at Rebekah who's looking at her surprised, "I hope I'm not offending you," she apologizes, "But it looks tacky. I would go with the pink one," she puts the other dress on the bed and backs off from Rebekah.

Rebekah eyes her wearily. "How do you know all of this?"

Elena shrugs. "I read a lot."

Rebekah puts her hands on her hips and wiggles her lips as she observes the dresses. "I think Katherine got me the blue one for my birthday," Rebekah finally remembers where she got the dress from.

Elena chuckles. "Explains it."

Rebekah releases a light laugh.

"I like Katherine," Stefan furrows his brows.

"No, you like fucking Katherine," Rebekah says as she slips back into the pink dress.

"Fucking?" Elena cocks her eyebrow in Stefan's direction, "I thought you never allow yourself to be with the same girl twice."

Stefan is slightly ashamed that Elena knows that and she's not even close to him. If she knows, everyone know.

"Katherine is too persistent," Rebekah rolls her eyes.

There's a silence in the room from that moment on. Stefan is staring at one point on the wall, Rebekah is applying make up she took out of her bag, and Elena is humming awkwardly.

"Where are you guys going anyway?" Elena decides to break the awkward silence.

"Out," Stefan says coldly.

"Out where?"

"Out out."

Elena glares at him. If a look could kill..

"To a club," Rebekah decides to be the polite one.

"But - "

"We are not allowed to leave the hotel after 10pm," Stefan says in a girly voice, impersonating Elena, "We know Gilbert, we're doing it anyway."

"We're leaving in two days," Rebekah adds while applying her mascara on, "We deserve some fun."

Rebekah puts her mascara down as a delicious grin appears on her face, "Wanna come?" she turns to Elena.

"Me?" Elena points to herself, surprised Rebekah would even ask her to come with them.

Rebekah nods with a wide smile on her face.

"Gilbert here doesn't like to break rules," Stefan says mockingly, glaring at Elena, "She was also born without even one fun bone in her body."

Elena huffs angrily. She looks at Stefan like she's going to jump on him and strangle him any second now.

No, she's not the one to break the rules. But she broke so many of them already, even the ones she had set herself. First and foremost, she had let Stefan in. As much as she hates to admit it, she did it willingly, and she liked it. She had showed him she cares. She had surprised herself with how much she actually cares.

"Sure," she says as a devious grin appears on her face, and the one from Stefan's disappears, "I would love to come," she turns her look to Rebekah.

Rebekah jumps up and down on place and claps with her hands, "Get dressed then."

Elena takes the edges of her top in between her fingertips and pulls it up. Rebekah goes back to applying her make up, and Elena takes her shorts off as well, leaving herself in her panties and bra only.

Seeing Rebekah in her underwear is one thing, seeing Elena is something completely other. He can feel his body react to the sight in front of him. His mouth are dry, and his hands slippery on the leather armchair.

Get a grip of yourself man, he tells to himself, it's not like you've never seen a girl in her underwear.

He had seen plenty of them without anything on their bodies.

There's something different about Elena, though. It's the way she holds herself. It's about how shy she is, and how she blushes when someone compliments her, but under her clothes there's a freaking goddess.

He can't look directly at her because something bad may happen. He doesn't want to look away because he doesn't want her to know what kind of effect she has on him.

So he will just have to cross his legs and find something to keeps him busy as the two of them get ready. He takes his phone out and starts playing some random game.

At least she's not wearing lace.

"Damn Elena," after few minutes he hears Rebekah's voice, "You should dress like this more often."

Out of curiosity, he raises his look up.

You gotta be kidding me, he yells inside of his head as his look falls on Elena.

She's wearing a short, little black dress, less short than Rebekah's , which is still too short for what he got used to seeing her in. He always took Elena as a simple jeans and shirt kind of girl. There was something sexy about that. Way sexier than dresses half of the girls in school wear, the ones from which half of their ass sticks out. They leave nothing to the imagination. The dress was sleeveless, and the back of it was covered in lace.

"Thanks," Elena responds shyly.

"I have to take a shower," Stefan gets up from his chair in a hurry and stars walking towards the bathroom.

"What are you talking about? You had a shower half of hour ago," Rebekah frowns.

"And now I have to take another one," he says before he shuts the bathroom door behind him.

* * *

Stefan took another shower and changed his clothes two more times. He was running around like a puppy, confusing both Rebekah and Elena. He wanted to change his clothes for the third time, but somehow, Rebekah convinced him not to, leaving him in dark trousers and blue button up shirt. Elena had to admit, he looked very handsome.

Rebekah did Elena's hair, made her an up do. She did her make up as well, since Elena doesn't wear make up often, and when she does, she doesn't wear much of it. Stefan even complimented her looks. Through a mumble, though.

They met the rest of their friends, or whatever relations they have with them, on the other side of the street.

Matt was pretty surprised by her looks until Rebekah informed him she had helped with make up and hair. Elena was surprised Matt is going in the first place. He was probably thinking the same about her but was too nice to say it out loud. Tyler had no problems with commenting how she finally came out to the real world.

Niklaus, or Nik, how she found out they call him, tried to compliment her in all the wrong ways, which earned him a slap on the back of the head from Rebekah. Elena realized Stefan's jokes and provocations are not the worst, there's someone worse than him.

Unlike Katherine, Dana was excited there's someone new among them, but then again, Dana is always excited. About everything.

Katherine, who was in Rome few times before, lead them to the club she found most proper, and the whole walk there she was hanging on Stefan's arm. Stefan did not seem too pleased with that, but he did not tell her anything either. Katherine doesn't know how to take a hint, apparently. Or maybe she does, but she plays stupid.

They more they walked, the more Elena kept thinking what a mistake this was. Her dress kept going up her legs and she remembered why she never wore it before. She couldn't even think of a reason why she even brought it with herself, or even kept in her closet. Her feet were already hurting because of the heels Rebekah convinced her to wear, and she felt she has too much make up on her face.

But she did not want to turn around and go back. She did not want him to call her a quitter or a chicken or to think she doesn't have a fun bone in her body.

Which is when she started wondering since when does she care what Stefan thinks. About her, or about anything or anyone else for that matter.

She also knew the only way she's going to survive this night is with the help of alcohol, so when they arrived and Rebekah asked her to hit the bar with her, Elena agreed.

Elena was never much of a drinker, she did not even like alcohol all that much, so she knew she will have to be careful with the quantity of the drinks she consumes.

She wasn't.

Rebekah made her try all sorts of cocktails and drinks, some European stuff they do not even have back home apparently.

Some were too strong, and some were so delicious she had a feeling she's drinking some sort of a juice.

One by one, the drinks started affecting her. She became dizzy, her head was spinning, she was laughing like a mad person, the lights were brighter and the music louder. In any other situation she would leave that place without even thinking about looking back, but in the condition she was, she had a feeling like that club is the perfect place for her to be.

She was dancing and twirling and talking to strangers on her bad half Italian - half Spanish made up language. Some guys bought her drinks, which made her feel good. She thought how she should do this more often - have fun.

"Hey Salvatore!" Elena yells in Stefan's ear when she jumps to the other side of a bar where he's been sitting.

"Gilbert?" he raises his eyebrow at her unusually cheerful tone of voice, "Are you drunk?" he asks when he notices her eyes glimmering. They usually glimmer, but this is a different kind of glimmer, a drunk glimmer.

He wasn't drunk. He had a couple of drinks, so he was buzzed at best. Far away from drunk.

He knew she is, though. He had seen her talking with those guys, laughing, flirting, probably not even intentionally. It was a different side of her, and he asked himself for how long has she been hiding this girl inside of herself.

"Why?" she bites her lower lip, "Want to take advantage of me?" she pokes him on the chest with her finger, thinking about how at this point she would probably let him.

He chuckles. "I guess that answers my question," he makes her giggle. Or the booze makes her giggle.

Out of some reason, he would like to think it's him rather than alcohol.

All of a sudden she pouts. "What are you doing here all alone?"

"I was here with Katherine," he takes a sip of his bear out of the bottle, "But then Giuliani or Raphael or Marcelino came over and she went with him."

Elena frowns. "Went where?"

"To the dance floor," Stefan points with his eyes, "But with Katherine, you can never be sure," he takes another sip of his beer.

Elena nods in understanding. "So, are you two, like, together?" she gets tangled in her own words.

Stefan laughs at her poor attempt to make a sentence, "Gilbert, I don't do relationships," he answers her.

"So the two of you fuck occasionally?" she asks curiously. There was something tempting to that kind of a relationship now when she thinks about it. All fun, no pain.

Stefan nods.

"Do you think you're ever going to be more than fuck buddies?"

"With Katherine?" he asks, pondering on the idea, "Nah," he shakes his head after few seconds. "With someone else? Only time will tell."

Maybe when he's more mature or when he finds someone who's worth all of the mess relationships bring with themselves. That probably won't happen years from now, though.

She watches him carefully, eyeing him, which makes him realize that's the way he sometimes looks at her. When he's hungry for her.

"Do you think maybe I could be your fuck buddy?" she asks, and her question makes him choke on his beer.

"Gilbert," he says her name through a laugh, "You're drunk," he states one more time.

"What a drunk person says, the sober one thinks," she winks at him before she makes a step forward. Her body is so close to his when she steps in between his parted legs. Her stomach is pressing to his groin, and he can feels her chest on his. He can feel every breathe she takes. "I'm one of the few you haven't slept with," she smiles as her lips scrape on his for a moment, before she backs her head away from his and looks him in the eyes. She throws her arms around his neck, "And sometimes I get so horny," she says quietly, "And in those times your face pops into my head often," her fingers land in his hair.

They stay in that position for few seconds. He's unable to move or speak, and she keeps pulling her fingers through his hair, pressing her body against his.

And then, she backs away. "I'm joking," she giggles as she takes the beer bottle out of his hands and places it on the counter, "Come," she takes his hand into hers and pulls him after her, "Let's dance."

He doesn't want to dance, he doesn't feel like dancing, but yet, he follows her willingly. She leads them to the middle of dance floor where she finally stops and starts dancing as soon as they find an empty spot.

He has never seen her like this. This happy, this smiling, this excited or free. All of the things he told her start spinning in his head, especially bad things, and he regrets every one of them because they're so far away from the truth.

She's so beautiful, so incredibly beautiful. Her smile is one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen, because it borders with the smile of a flirty woman and a smile of an innocent child.

Her arms wrap around his waist and she pulls herself closer to him, looking up at him with a smile of her face, "I'm having so much fun!" she yells.

He does something he never did before. Something Damon does with Rebekah, something he had seen guys do around the school or in the movies or whatever. He raises his hands and puts his open palms on her cheeks, cupping her face, like he wants to freeze this moment so he can admire the beauty of her smile forever. It's like his hands were made for her because her cheeks fall so softly in his palms, and she tilts her head a little when he cups her face. "I can see that," he smiles back at her.

"I'm glad I came," she says, feeling like she left her body, like she's floating in the mid air.

"I'm glad you came too," he lets go off her face and his hands fall down her body on her hips, and once they do he thinks she's going to let go off him, but she doesn't.

They keep looking at each other before his lips fall near her ear and he whispers, "I want you."

She doesn't react, and he's too afraid to raise his head. So instead of looking her in the eyes, he moves his head where his lips linger next to hers. She gasps silently, and when her lips part a little, he kisses her.

His lips land on hers, and to his surprise, she kisses him back.

She moves her arms from his waist and throws them around his neck. She kisses him harder, more hungrily.

He can feel the fruity taste of cocktails in her mouth.

He can't believe he's kissing Elena Gilbert. Willingly.

His hands move from her hips to her ass and he squeezes it lightly. She has a perfect ass.

As he does so, her body nudges a little and moves more towards his.

"Let's go," she says when she parts her lips from his to catch some air.

"Go where?" he asks confused.

"Back to the hotel," she whispers into his ear.

Before she knows it he's grabbing her hand and fighting their way through the crowd towards the exit. He kisses her one more time. He stops the cab and they get in. She gives the hotel address because he doesn't know it. They keep kissing on the back seat of a cab and it feels so cheap and cheesy, but at the same time exciting and new and normal. He gives money to the taxi driver and they get out of the car. He kisses her before they enter into the hotel lobby and carefully move towards the elevator. Once they're in he pins her against the elevator wall and attacks her lips with his. She lets him. He puts his hands under her ass and lifts her up, and she wraps her legs around him.

The elevator makes a beeping sound, letting them know they're on the requested floor, and the elevator door open. Both of them pray there's no one in the hallway.

He moves out of the elevator still with her in his arms and moves towards their room. He takes the keys out of his pocket with one hand while holding on to her with the other. He pushes the key in the knob, turns it, and the door fly wide open. He steps inside and pushes the door closed behind him.

He pushes few things, like the hotel telephone, some of the things they have left too, off the dresser, and places her on it. They keep kissing, sometimes forgetting to stop to catch some air.

She asks herself what the hell does she think she's doing few times, but she never gets the chance to answer her own question. She's too busy with the thought of how unbelievable she's feeling at the moment.

How free and alive she's feeling. Like that night on the dance floor back home, only better. She finally found that feeling again, and once again, she had found it in him.

She couldn't believe the sensation flowing inside of her, as well as the extensive pleasure and excitement. She felt like she's finally letting herself experience something she's been forbidding herself for such a long time.

She can feel his hand on her thighs, and without thinking, she parts her legs. Her dress goes up her body, sticking on her waist, exposing her panties. He keeps on kissing her lips, even when his hand slips inside of her panties.

When she feels his finger inside of herself, she releases a bit of air in his mouth. His lips curve into a smile while still pressing onto hers. She detaches her lips from his and buries her face into his neck, gasping, making his skin vibrate.

He moves his lips to her neck and starts kissing it.

"Mhmmm," she says into his skin, making him smile as he plants kisses on her neck.

Her leg is pressing onto his groin, and she can feel him getting hard.

She can also feel incredible tension building up in her, making her skin hot. "Stef," she can't even say his name fully.

All of a sudden he pulls his hand out of her panties, which makes her groan in displeasure, and picks her up from the dresser.

The next thing she knows they're both falling on the bed, he's on top of her, his bulge pressing on her now wet panties, and his lips are landing on hers.

How he wishes she was sober. How he wishes she was like this naturally and how she wishes this is what she actually wants.

How he wishes all of this was real.

If it were maybe then they could..

"No," he finds himself saying as he pushes himself off of her. She looks at him confused as he sits on the bed, turning his back to her. "You're drunk," he says like he's only realizing it now.

"No, I'm fine," she mumbles, tugging on his arm, "I want you," she tries to pull him back on her.

"You don't want me. You're just horny," he says.

And now he realizes this is probably how all of the girls he's been felt. Like he's there because he's horny, not because of them. It's a disgusting feeling. Something no one should ever go through.

And he made so many girls go through it.

Elena pulls her dress down her body and moves to the edge of the bed to sit next to him.

He did not want things to be uncomfortable between them. He hates being uncomfortable.

"Our first kiss," he bumps his shoulder into hers.

She smiles. "Well, not technically. Our first kiss was in the third grade."

He looks at her confused, but then a smiles appears on his face. "Right, the dare. What were we? Eight?" he looks at her.

She nods as she looks at him as well. "You told me I can't possibly eat twenty pancakes," she sinks into the memory.

"And you told me I don't have it in me to kiss a girl," he laughs lightly.

"I proved you wrong. I ate all of the twenty pancakes," she laughs out loud, "And my stomach was aching for a week," she cocks her eyebrow at him.

"Right," he lights up when he remembers, "I was bringing you chicken noodle soup every day after school," he remembers picking up the soup in a plastic box every day for a week.

"And writing my homework. By the end of the week you asked me does my stomach still hurts, and I said no and asked you why."

"And I told you so I don't get pancake germs," both of them laugh out loud, "And then I kissed you."

"Right," she nods.

Wait, first kiss?

Does that mean there's going to be more?

* * *

**AN: I did not want Elena to interrupt everything. It would be very unfair since she started the whole thing. Plus, I think it would do good for Stefan's "development". I hope you enjoyed this chapter, be sure to tell me what you think about it!**


	10. Chapter 10

_"Knock, knock," Stefan says as he actually knocks on the half opened door of her bedroom. "I come in peace," he pushes the snickers bar through the crack, and when he hears her laugh lightly, he pushes the door open and steps inside of her room._

_She's sitting in her bed in her pajamas, covered with a pink, fluffy blanket, her hair tied into a high pony tail, there's still hot tea on her bedside table and an opened book in her lap. Elena loved being in her pajamas, she could spend the whole day in them, and when she was sick, she did. Chamomile tea and a book were simply something that went along with Elena's personality._

_"As long as it's not pancakes," she frowns at the thought of food she once used to love to eat as she caresses her tummy._

_Stefan drops his school bag on the floor, puts the snickers bar next to her tea cup, pulls himself a chair from the writing desk next to her bed, and sits on it._

_"I'm sorry I made you hate pancakes," he lowers his look down on the floor. He never thought she will actually eat twenty pancakes. He didn't know girls can eat that much. Or Elena in particular. She's so small, she looks like she barely eats anything._

_"It's okay," she exhales tiredly, "I'm sure one day when I reach my teenage years and go through a socially demanding stage of being displeased about my body I'll be thanking you," she says, and he bursts into laughter._

_Sometimes she talks funny. Probably because she reads a lot._

_"I brought you chicken noodle soup," he jumps from the chair and goes for his school bag to gets it for her, "I can write your homework for you while you're eating," a smile appears on his face._

_She takes the plastic box with soup in it. "I can write my own homework," she says, knowing Stefan doesn't even like doing his own homework. So doing two of them for a week already must be his definition of hell._

_"I insist," he says, still feeling guilty for making her eat twenty pancakes which caused her tummy ache._

_She doesn't even like chicken noodle soup. His handwriting is too messy, he spells 6 out of 10 words in a sentence wrong, he always does math tasks wrong so she has to correct them. She hates when someone interrupts her in the middle of her reading. But she loves him. He's her friend, and you don't hurt your friends. So she lets him do all of those things. Bring her chicken soup she can barely swallow, ruin her notebooks with his messy boy handwriting, write 'sumarey' instead of 'summary', solve advanced math problems and interrupt her in the middle of her reading even though she always forgets where she left off._

_She lets him do all of those things because she knows how many football games with the guys he had missed because of her, because it takes her a while to understand how to play races on playstation, because he taught her how to swim, because he borrows her books from the library when she's sick, because he broke his arm climbing on a tree when her jumping rope got stuck on it._

_"Are you feeling any better today?" he asks while still standing next to her bed._

_"Oh, much," she answers happily, "Why?"_

_"So I don't get any pancake germs."_

_She shoots him a confused look, and before she even knows it, he's leaning his head and his lips land on hers. He puckers them and gives her one short lasting, gentle kiss. He closes his eyes while doing so, but she doesn't. She watches his every move, from the moment his head starts falling down to the moment he starts pulling it up._

_She can feel blush attack her cheeks as she watches him confused, maybe even surprised._

_"Just holding on to my part of a deal," he says shyly, "You ate 20 pancakes, which means I had to kiss you."_

_"We're still alive," she smiles at him._

_He nods. "What now? Do I have to marry you?" he asks panicking. They're too young to marry and to have babies and to start working._

_Elena wiggles her lips. "My mom says a boy should never kiss a girl unless he has serious intentions towards her," she cocks her eyebrow in his direction, "What are your intentions, Stefan?" she teases him._

_He sighs. "I'll marry you if you promise me you'll never make me play dress up again."_

_Elena exhales disappointingly. "Well, I guess marriage is about compromise."_

_He sits back on the chair next to her bed, and they spend few minutes in silence._

_"You're going to give our children weird names like Sunshine or Apple or something, aren't you?" he looks at her knowingly._

_"Probably," she nods her head while picking a book up from her lap and giving it to him, "Read to me?"_

_He takes the book in his hands and says, "Sure."_

_He starts reading, and when she's sure he's not looking, her finger lands on her lips, and she smiles._

* * *

"What's with you and high places?" Stefan asks as he pushes the rooftop door open and steps on the cold concrete. He watches Elena from afar, sitting on the edge of the roof, her arms around her knees, looking straight ahead of herself. "I remember that tree house in your backyard," he starts walking towards her, "You loved that thing," he says to defuse the tension he's feeling between the two of them, "I almost broke my neck climbing on the damn thing," he reaches the edge of the roof and sits next to her. He looks at her, thinking how beautiful she looks from a profile. Her nose is perfect, her eyes are shimmering, her lips puckered a little, her hair floating in the wind.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" she asks, taking no regard for anything he said so far.

He glares at her some more, trying to capture her beauty, beauty he would never admit to anyone she holds out of superficial reasons. Beauty he was not even aware exists until couple of days ago. "What is?" he furrows his brows.

A faint smile appears on her face, like she's aware of his lack of interest in her thoughts. "Everything," wind carries her words to him in the form of a whisper.

He ponders on her answer, trying to understand it, but he simply can't see it. He can't see the beauty of everything, unless everything is her. And she hasn't been his everything in a very long time, if ever.

"This city is beautiful," she finally says, like she knows he doesn't understand what she meant by everything, "The way sun pokes the edges of the buildings with its bright colors as it goes down. Slight cracks on the curbs of a sidewalk and the missing spots of paint on the buildings. The way people dress and talk and hold themselves, and the way they make strangers wish they were them," she exhales silently, almost tiredly, still looking straight forward.

"This city is not your home," she fell in love with this city, he thought to himself, in only a matter of days. And she's going to miss it, and regret leaving it, and he didn't want that for her. He didn't want her to feel sorry for something that was out of her power.

And as those thoughts crossed his mind, as he realized when she loves something she loves every fiber of its existence, even all of the imperfection that something holds, and for a fleeting second he wished she could love him. Every fiber of his being, even the things he doesn't like about himself.

Stefan Salvatore found himself jealous of Rome, because it had one thing he could never have again - Elena's love. Despite all of its cracks and curves and imperfections she loved it, and he knew she couldn't do the same with him.

But then again, Rome has never hurt her as much as he did, and Rome has never left so many depths in her heart.

She's walking away from Rome, unwillingly, and he walked away from her, selfishly.

"It could be," she whispers again, like she's ashamed of the words that are coming out of her mouth.

He looks up at the sky, and he notices how grey it is. How dark the city is becoming, slowly hiding the burning sun. Maybe it's sad because she's leaving, and maybe it will rain for days after she does. Because he knows how annoyingly depressing his life would be without her. Maybe Rome feels the same.

"Look," she points with her finger, "See that spot, where the sun is touching the ground?" she looks in the distance, smile bright and clear on her face. He nods, even though he's not even sure she's paying enough attention to him to know he's reacting to her words. He's not even sure she cares. "My mom used to say that's the place where reality and dreams meet," she continues gently, looking in the distance, "I wish I could be there right now," words escape her lips as the smile leaves her face.

He finally realizes she's not sad or mad or annoyed or hurt.

She's broken.

And he played a part in that breaking.

"I wish I could stay here forever," she sighs, "I wish I don't have to leave this place, and I wish I don't have to leave behind everything this place has given me. Because when we go home," and for the first time since he came up there, she turns her head to look at him, "Everything goes back to how it was before, doesn't it?" her look lingers on his.

The time they spent together in Rome changed everything, he knew that, and he had no power over it. He had no power to change or erase everything that has happened during the last ten days. He had power over how that change affects them, though.

Her eyes start glimmering more than they usually do. "All of those kisses, smiles," she says with a husky voice, "Feelings," she chokes on her own words.

There were a lot of those, most of which scare him.

"It's better that way," he looks away from her like a coward he knows he is, not able to stand the intensity of her stare, "If things go back to how they used to be," he swallows, "We don't work unless we bicker and snap at each other," he lies to her and he lies to himself.

Because it works better for him when she lets him kiss her, and when she directs one of those unbelievably bright smiles in his direction. And he never used to care for those before, and the way she makes him care for those trivial things scares him more than anything ever did.

She turns her look away from him as well. They sit there in silence, which is not uncomfortable or awkward, simply painful, until she speaks again, "What are you scared of?" she asks with a teary voice.

"Nothing," he shrugs, still unable to look at her, "Everything."

"Caring for someone is not a bad thing," she frowns.

He inhales a stream of mildly cold air before he says, "It's a weakness. Love is a mess I don't want to clean after," when he feels her look on him, he finally finds enough strength to look at her. He meets her teary gaze, and something tightens inside of his chest, making him lose some air.

Things he felt for her in such a small amount of time is something he never felt towards anyone. Her words made him laugh, and he would hold that laugh inside of his throat for as long as he could because he didn't want anyone to know she has a power to make him laugh truthfully. She made him think about things he closed his mind to long time ago.

She made him feel like he could love her, and that's not something he could ever forget.

But that's something he doesn't want to accept either.

He doesn't want to love her, he doesn't want to fall in love with her, and it irritates him that she seems to be the only girl who holds that kind of a power over him.

"We could never work," he thinks if he says it out loud he will be able to convince himself in his own words, "We're so young, we have our whole lives ahead of us, plenty of room for these kinds of mistakes. I don't see the point of making them earlier than we have to," he takes his look off her cowardly once again.

"Love is not a mistake," a tear falls down her cheeks as she hisses those words at him.

A smirk appears on his lips, like a reflex. "Yes, it is," he says determined, "Maybe one day it won't be," he shrugs. "We're a couple of kids, what do we know about love?" he points that question more to himself than he does to her, hoping she would give him an answer.

A painful chuckle escapes her throat as she looks straight ahead once again. "You know more than you think."

He doesn't want to accept her point of view. Her strangely optimistic point of view. "I don't think anyone knows anything about love. But as we grow up we get more accustomed to the idea of having it in our lives. We're 18 years old, the only thing we can give to each other is the movie based idea of romance which is the product of imagination."

She keeps on nodding her head as her lips tremble and few more tears fall down her cheeks. He turns to her and puts his finger under her chin, making her look at him. She's so tired she doesn't even fight his attempt to make eye contact with her. "Oh baby, baby it's a wild world," he says before he leans his head and gives her one last peck on the lips before he jumps back on his feet and turns to leave.

_I'll always remember you like a child, girl._

When she's sure he can't see her anymore, her finger flies to her lips over which she pulls her fingertip and a faintest smile appears on her face.

* * *

**AN: If their time in Rome solved all of their problems, it would be far too easy. And love is never easy.**


	11. Chapter 11

It's hard, not getting what you set your eyes on. Elena Gilbert is used to not getting what she wants, though.

That was never the hard part.

The hard part was admitting to herself there's something she wants.

Especially when that something is Stefan Salvatore.

She went back to the time when she had lost him for the first time. She missed him so much back them. She was such a scared little girl. She still is. She's not that little anymore, but she's equally scared. Scared of what she wants, of what she always wanted.

She kept preaching to Stefan how love is nothing to be afraid of, and it's not. But everything love brings with itself is something to be afraid of. The chance of getting disappointed, abandoned, having something so wonderful and then it being taken away from you.

She also remembered how fast missing him turned into hating him. How fast she started resenting him and rolling her eyes whenever she had seen him. And it made her so bitter.

It made her so close minded to everything else around her.

She spent a lot of time convincing herself she hates him. She spent a lot of time under the belief she hates him.

And now, she's surprised by how little she actually hates him. Or how little it took for her to warm up to him again.

How fast she started feeling for him again. All it took was few days, few nice words, looks and awkward moments, and she was looking at him the same way she was looking at him six years ago. Like he's the only person on this planet she actually needs.

And then, she started falling for him, which she only realized when he kissed her. When she found herself stunned that she had allowed him to kiss her.

And that she wants him to continue kissing her.

In that moment she remembered all the hate she thought she feels for him, she remembered every ounce of pain he had caused her, and she disregarded it.

Because she remembered all of the good moments as well, and they overshadowed the bad ones.

It also took her by surprise how fast she decided that she could handle all of the bad moments if that means she's going to get all of the good ones back.

Which is when she kissed him back. When she realized she wants him as well.

When she realized how much she enjoys being in his embrace, and how soft his skin feels on his, and how much pleasure his lips on hers allow her.

She realized Stefan Salvatore is the one thing that's been missing, and she found herself doing something she never thought she would do.

She was ready to be his in every way possible. And how much she wanted it scared her a bit.

Allowing herself to want it one day, and then losing it even before she got it the other day, made her face major disappointment.

She decided not to let it show. She was successfully pretending all these years, so who is to say she can't keep on doing so.

Once you taste a little piece of Heaven, it's hard to go back, though.

So she packed her things and before she went down to the hotel lobby to meet her friends, she tried to paralyze a smile on her face. Which she succeeded to do.

She was successful in keeping it for quite some time. All the way until bus started moving towards the airport, and the realization she's really leaving Rome and everything it gave her behind, had hit her.

There was no rain, but the city seemed grey. Like the storm is heading its way. She was sad she has to say goodbye to the city in such matter, because the weather has been lovely all the way through their stay.

She pressed her head on the bus window and silently said her goodbyes to the city and the people in it, strangers she did not even know and who did not care for her.

"Elena?" Caroline says her name gently, too gently in Elena's opinion, as they made themselves comfortable in their airplane seats. As much as one can get comfortable in the airplane. "Is there something wrong?" Caroline touches her friends hand, "You've been sulky all the way to the airport," Elena pulls her hand instantly and Caroline eyes her wearily.

The airplane sets off the ground. In a little more than ten hours they will be home.

Where everything is the same. Like nothing happened. Like they were never gone.

Elena looked at her friends as she wiggled her lips. Caroline and Bonnie shot her a curious look, waiting for an answer.

She pondered on should she or shouldn't she tell them what happened.

As she saw it, she had two choices.

She could lie to them and tell them everything is okay, that she's only sad because they're leaving. Should could keep on pretending like nothing has happened, and that's something she did not want to do.

She was tired of pretending.

The plane could go down any minute now and no one would ever know.

She jumped on her seat a little. What a horrible thought, she thought to herself, to think about the plane going down. She gripped the edges of her seat.

"There is something," she said, determined to say the truth.

Caroline and Bonnie leaned closer to her.

"There's something I haven't told you guys," she bit on her bottom lip.

Caroline's eyes popped out and Bonnie frowned. Caroline was too curious to let her mind think rationally, so she had let it wander, but Bonnie knew whenever there was something Elena didn't tell them, it ended badly.

"I did something socially acceptable," Elena says silently.

Caroline cocks an eyebrow in her direction. "You went out and had fun?" she mocks her.

"Actually, yes," Elena furrows her brows, not finding Caroline's joke amusing at all.

Bonnie gasps. "When?"

"Two days ago," Elena sighs, slightly pulling her look away from her friends, out of some reason unable to look at them, "Rebekah and Stefan were getting ready in our room, preparing to sneak out to this club. Rebekah invited me, and of course, I declined. But then Stefan," Elena can see Bonnie's surprised expression when she doesn't call him Salvatore, but she continues nevertheless, "Kept saying how I would never do anything to break the rules."

"So of course, you had to go out," Caroline said happily, like she's finally proving her point, "Just to prove him wrong," she said smugly.

Elena nodded in her direction with a smirk on her face. Caroline was enjoying this a little bit too much.

"I had few drinks," Elena said, smiling at the memory, "More than few, actually," she starts playing with her fingers nerously. "I was dancing, talking to some Italian guys who kept buying us drinks," Elena's smile becomes wider and she goes deeper in the memory.

"And you hooked up with Stefan," Caroline makes a lucky guess, silently, for which Elena is thankful, but at the same time surprised because it's not one of Caroline's virtues.

"Caroline!" Bonnie smacks her friends arm as she exclaims her name, "Stop interrupting her. She would never do such a thing!" Bonnie says, thinking she's doing Elena favor.

Caroline starts caressing her arm on the spot where Bonnie had smacked her while glaring curiously at Elena.

Elena's cheeks start burning with blush as she turns her head away from her friends.

Bonnie gasps loudly. "Elena?" she says her friends name like she's asking her to tell her it's not true.

"You did it, didn't you?" Caroline says victoriously, "You made out with him?" a wide smile appears on her face.

Elena turns her head rapidly, her cheeks still red, fire present in her eyes. "I did more than make out with him," she snaps through her teeth.

A smile disappears from Caroline's face, and Bonnie's eyes pop out of her sockets more than Elena thought is humanly possible.

"You didn't!" Bonnie says horrified.

"What if I did? What if I slept with him? Would I be that much of a different person? Would I be someone else than I was five minutes before we fell into bed together?" she points that question more to herself than to her friends, trying to figure out what opinion would she have of herself if she indeed ended up sleeping with him.

There's an awkward silence between them. Silence that makes her wish she's in Stefan's company again, because silence with him is always pleasant.

"Well, did you?" Caroline asks curiously.

Elena shoots a sharp look to her while wiggling her lips. "Almost," she admits through an exhale, "I wanted to."

"What stopped you?" Caroline asks curiously, getting into the subject again.

"Nothing," Elena swallows, "Something stopped him," she lowers her look, embarrassed in a way, even though she did not know why.

Caroline and Bonnie share a confused look.

Bonnie clears her throat with a cough, "So, you're trying to tell us you offered him sex and he declined?"

Elena huffs. "Well, not right away. We were making out for a long time and when we arrived to the hotel room he even - " Elena stops herself when she realizes her friends really don't need to know everything Stefan did to her.

Her look locks with the looks of her friends before she shakes her head and continues, "Anyway, when he reached the bed - "

"Reached the bed?" Caroline interrupts her, emphasizing the word _reached_, "Where were you before?" she furrows her brows.

Elena's cheeks flush again. "On the dresser," she says silently, tilting her head a little as a light smile appears on her face.

"You little vixen," Caroline says, rather loudly, putting her hand over her mouth once she realizes how loud she was.

She motions Elena to continue.

"Well, he pulled away," she says, "I tried to convince him it's okay, but he said how drunk I am and how I don't want him, how I'm simply horny," she says the last word in a sentence as some more blush attacks her cheeks.

Neither Caroline or Bonnie say a thing, and the only thing Elena feels is a tugging feeling on her chest.

"So I guess you were right Caroline," Elena says, happy she got that off her chest, "I'm among 90% of the girls in Mystic Falls who pine over Stefan Salvatore," so why does she still feels this empty?

Why does she still feel like something has been taken away from her?

Something more than her pride.

"So, what now?" Bonnie asks, judgment gone from her voice.

Elena looks at her, trying to seem warm, "Nothing," she says with a harpy voice, "He has made that perfectly clear."

* * *

"Stefan," Rebekah whines his name, pulling onto his shirt, "Stop being such a mood dropper," she says silently, even though Elena is sitting nowhere near them, "People do stupid things when they're drunk," she tries to cheer him up.

"I wasn't drunk," he murmurs.

She furrows her brows. "What?" she asks, even though she had heard him perfectly clear the first time around, "But I thought you said - "

"I know what I said," he removes his hand from his mouth and looks at his best friend, "Now I'm telling you the truth. I had only few drinks. I was perfectly sober," he looks at her, guilt written all over his face.

He never lied to Rebekah. She's the one person he was always able to be honest with.

He thought he will never have to lie to her.

"Why did you - "

"Lie?" he interrupts her again, "Because admitting it to someone else means it actually happened."

Rebekah looks at him gently. She never asked questions before. He never gave her a reason to.

"Stefan," she says his name through a whisper, "It happened whether you admit it to someone or not."

He looks at her, afraid she will be angry at him for lying to her. She's not, though. At least she doesn't seem to be.

So he asks himself what did he do to deserve her.

"It's funny, you know, how things can change in a second?" a faint smile appears on his face, "She has these annoying little habits like leaving her curling iron on the floor. Looking herself in the mirror while she's brushing her teeth. Wiggling her lips when there's something she doesn't want to say. Rolling her eyes at every damn thing I say, like she expects me to say something annoying," he shakes his head, and Rebekah wonders when did he have time to pick up on all these things, "There's a bunch of things like that, things she did not possess when she was younger," his smile becomes wider as he speaks, "And it's funny how fast I grew accustomed to them. Or to having her in my life," he huffs like he's surprised with his own realization.

Rebekah smiles as well. "Maybe you don't hate her as much as you think you do."

Stefan locks his look on Rebekah's before he says, "I don't think I hate her at all."

A smile disappears from her face as surprise washes over it.

"So, why don't you tell her then?" she encourages him.

"There's no point," he shakes his head.

"Why are you so scared?"

"Why do everyone think I'm scared?" he frowns, "Maybe I simply don't want to be with her."

"Because there's no way you can feel like this for someone without wanting to be with them if it's possible," Rebekah makes him shoot her a look.

"Well, I already told her off," he says smugly.

"Why?"

Stefan furrows his brows. Good question.

"Because there's nothing in this world that makes me more happy and more sad than her."

* * *

**AN: There wasn't much development in this chapter, but their friends are a big part of their lives, so I think this was necessary.**

**Also, I did not do a time skip. I simply did not write their thoughts when they woke up, but later that day.**


	12. Chapter 12

It was strange, falling back into her old routine once they came home.

Caroline's mom gave her a ride home from the airport in Atlanta since they landed in the middle of the day and aunt Jenna was at work, unable to come to pick her up. Caroline's mom was a sheriff of Mystic Falls so she had flexible working hours. There was always someone to fill in for her if she had some personal obligations. That was really handy since she was a single parent and Caroline required a lot of attention, especially when she was a child. Not that things are a lot different now.

Jeremy was home when she arrived which pleasantly surprised her. She thought he will be at Bonnie's. She felt slight relief when he told her he's going to see Bonnie tomorrow, while giving her a big hug which was followed by _"What did you bring me from Rome?"_

She really didn't want to be all alone for the whole day, and Jeremy could have seen that, telling her certain times are reserved for family.

After she gave him the gift she bought for him in Rome, he told her dad was home for two days while she was abroad. Disappointment was written all over her face, disappointment to which Jeremy did not react. She did not expect him to either, because she knew there's nothing he can say anymore. He had seen that expression on her face few time more than he should have. He gave her a letter dad left for her, letter she still had not read.

She was too afraid the only thing she will find in it is disappointment.

She was not ashamed to admit she misses Rome. She misses the warmth, it's incredibly fresh in Mystic Falls. She misses the clean air, the first thing she smells when she gets out of the house is the smoke of the factory near her house. She misses all of those old buildings because she thinks the mall in her city has a really ugly design, and she misses the way people dress because in her town everyone are plain. She also misses having no responsibilities.

No, she's not ashamed at all to admit she that misses Rome, she's ashamed to admit what exactly about it she misses the most. She's ashamed to admit she misses Stefan, and being in his presence, and sharing her living space with him, and being with him.

She had barely seen him in school. She caught few glances of him in the hallway, but she was careful not to keep her look on his for too long. So he doesn't look back. On the day they were supposed to have Chemistry she didn't show up out of fear he will. She went to the doctors under the excuse she has cramps. That was probably the first time Elena Gilbert had skipped school.

She was standing by the library counter, waiting for Mrs. Gideon to get her the book she has been assigned to read for an extra credit in English. Mrs. Gideon was slow, and kinda blind, so Elena knew it will take her quite some time to find the book. Of course, Elena knew by memory where the book is because she helps out in the library every once in a while, but Mrs. Gideon doesn't like someone telling her how to do her job. She didn't mind, she had some free time on her hands anyway before her book club meeting starts. She had to decide by the end of the month who will be taking her spot of the president since she's a senior and will be leaving in couple of months.

She thought about how lovely it would be to own a bookstore one day. Nothing too big, just a small bookstore barely visible between two buildings, selling the books one can't get their hands on so easily. That would be such a disappointment to her dad, though. He always expected great things from her, even though she wasn't sure what those great things were.

She knew going to Harvard was the first step to finding out, which is why she applied. Which is why Harvard is her first choice, even though it's not even her choice.

Because of her annoyingly unhealthy need to please others.

"Gilbert," she hears a familiar voice behind her, followed by a loud thump of books on the library counter. The voice makes the blood in her veins freeze, and the thump makes her jump a little.

She turns her head around and her icy look locks with his. There's a smirk on his face, a smirk he doesn't pull back even when she whips him with her look, which doesn't surprise her at all. That smirk is the only weapon he has.

Rebekah is standing next to him, pretending like she's not there, arranging the pile of books she had dropped on the counter.

Elena eyes him for a moment, but when she realizes her look is not as half as intimidating as she would like it to be, she looks away from him without saying a word.

He gasps silently. "So now you're not talking to me?" he asks surprised as Elena starts thumping with her fingers on the counter.

"Nope," she says coldly, the word followed by her shaking her head slowly.

She can feel Rebekah's look lurking on her as well.

"Elena," he says her name sweetly, more gently than she's used to him saying her name in public. That little fact, the way he changed his voice while saying her name, especially after how things went down between them in Rome. Especially because he made no effort in contacting her after they came back home.

Sure, she hasn't tried either, but she wasn't the one pretending nothing has changed between them. Everything has changed.

She turns to him, cold look in her eyes, "Stefan, you were perfectly clear about not wanting to do anything with me," she huffs, pain of his words still present in her shaky voice, "So what are we doing here?" she watches surprise wash all over his face as she says those words to him.

Rebekah looks a little stunned as well, but she doesn't say anything. She's probably not used to anyone talking to Stefan the way she is now.

Before he gets a chance to talk, Mrs. Gideon appears behind the counter with an amused look on her face, putting the book Elena asked for on the counter. Elena smiles at her thankfully before Mrs. Gideon leave them alone.

She knows all of the students business. Probably because she eavesdrops on their conversations, hiding behind the bookshelves. Students come to lead their private conversations to the place where no one would expect them to speak, thinking they're safe. Well, how much damages can the old lady's eavesdropping do?

"Can't we forget anything ever happened?" he asks once he's sure Mrs. Gideon is too far away to hear them. Elena looks back at him, colder than moments before, he notices, and his question earns him an elbow in the ribs from Rebekah, like a signal he said something he shouldn't have.

Makes sense, the fact he has no idea what's proper to say in these kind of situations. Girls are usually throwing themselves at him, he never had to put much effort in winning them over.

"How do they say?" he asks nervously, smiling at her, "What happens in Rome stays in Rome?"

She wants to laugh, but she controls herself, stiffening a laugh in her throat.

Rebekah raises her eyebrow in confusion. "They say that about Vegas," she announces.

"Oh," he frowns, completely forgetting about the conversation he's supposed to be having with Elena, "What do they say about Rome then?" he looks at Rebekah.

She ponders on his question a little before she asks quizzically, "All paths lead to Rome?"

Elena rolls her eyes, clearly annoyed. "Look, Stefan," she says his name bitterly, "You can contact me when you grow up," she takes the book off the counter without even looking, "And then we can talk about how we can't forget everything that has happened," she says before she storms out of the library, unsure where she's supposed to go.

* * *

Elena was sitting on the couch in her pajamas, curled under the blanket, a spoon of Nutella in her mouth, watching Titanic, and thinking how more pathetic can she get. How low can she go?

Jeremy was with Bonnie, so she was able to walk around the house like a homeless person, every now and then bursting into tears without any reason given.

"Move a little Rose," she says perfectly calm at the television as she watches Leonardo DiCaprio's perfect hair frozen in the cold ocean. His hair reminds her of Stef - no.

She's not allowed to think about him. Or his hair.

Damn his perfect hair.

She takes another spoonful of Nutella and places it in her mouth, slowly sucking the chocolate from the spoon as she watches Rose let Jack go.

She should learn a thing or two about letting things go.

Then again, can you let go off something that was never truly yours?

"Dammit Rose, stop crying," she screams at the screen as Rose watches Jack sinking, promising she will never forget, "If you moved your ass a little, or if the thought of exchanging places every now and then even occurred to you, he would be alive now!" she yells annoyingly, not even sure why. She used to love Titanic.

She also used to hate Stefan, and now she's not that sure about that anymore.

In the moment the policeman asks Rose for her name, the doorbell rings. Elena pauses the movie and drags herself to open the front door.

She opens it and gasps. "Rebekah?" she asks, thinking how Rebekah is the last person she would expect to see on her front porch.

Rebekah cocks an eyebrow in her direction, eyeing her pink pajamas with little cupcakes all over it. "Don't you need some bread with that?" her look falls on the jar of Nutella in Elena's hands.

Elena's cheeks flush when she remembers how she looks like. "Bread is very fattening," she says the first thing that comes to her mind, which makes Rebekah laugh. "Would you like to come in?" she asks as she opens the front door wide open and steps aside so Rebekah can come in.

Rebekah smiles at her as she steps inside.

"So," Elena says awkwardly, "Is there anything I can help you with?" she asks, still confused why exactly is Rebekah at her house.

"I think you took one of my books by mistake today," Rebekah says warmly, and Elena notices the bits of her leftover British accent. She's surprised it's still there because as far as she knows Rebekah has been living in Britain for only five years before her family move to America. "Because I'm pretty sure I'm not reading Anna Karenina," she pulls a thick book with hard covers out of her bag and hands it to Elena.

Elena takes it out of her hands and places it on the table before she reaches for her bag and pulls out a copy of The Black Cat out of it. She must have taken the wrong book by mistake today, before she stormed out of the library.

"Here," Elena smiles as she hands the book to Rebekah, who takes it out of her hands and smiles back at her.

"Elena, you know.." Rebekah starts talking, but then hesitates to continue. It takes her few seconds to do so, "Stefan's not such a bad guy," she looks at Elena, slowly following her reaction.

Elena sighs loudly, putting her hands on her hips. "Did Stefan send you here?" she asks, almost accusingly.

Rebekah shakes her head instantly. "No," she says defensively, feeling Elena's hostile tone of voice, "He has no idea I'm here," she lowers her voice as well as her look. She keeps silent for few moments before she speaks again, "You know Stefan a lot longer than I do, and the boy you once loved must be in there somewhere," she raises her look and locks her eyes on Elena's.

Icy and determined look in Elena's eyes disappears and is replaced with a warm and vulnerable one. Rebekah is surprised by a sudden change in her emotions. "I thought so too," Elena says painfully, "But he's not," she shakes her head, on the verge of tears.

Rebekah tilts her head in disagreement, "I think he is. Stefan is simply hiding him well," a smile creeps on her face.

"He says," Elena swallows, "He said he doesn't want to be with me," she's surprised by the words that come out of her mouth, directed to Stefan's best friend, one who can easily tell him everything Elena had said.

Rebekah keeps quiet, looking at the floor, and then, Elena sees the corners of her lips curving into a smile.

"It's a scary thing, isn't it?" she raises her head, and Elena can see a full blow smile on her face, "Love."

Elena's whole body stiffens. "Rebekah, I'm not - "

"I know," Rebekah interrupts her in the middle of her sentence, "You're not in love with him," she states, "And he has this fear of falling in love," she huffs as she shakes his head.

"Why?" she asks, thinking Rebekah will be able to provide her with a better answer than Stefan. "Why is he so scared of it?"

Rebekah shrugs her shoulders. "I don't think there's any real reason behind it," she wiggles her lips, "He simply doesn't think we're mature enough to love, and he doesn't want to look at his life one day only to realize he spent years on something that doesn't exist."

Elena ponders on Rebekah's answer a little, seeing how someone could have that point of view, but then again, it seems completely illogical to her.

"Just like you believe in love," Rebekah says gently, before her voice goes husky, "He doesn't."

She makes it sound so simple.

"I used to think like him too, you know?" a sweet smile creeps on Rebekah's face, creating little dimples on her cheeks, "And then Damon happened," her smile becomes wider, "He was always only Stefan's older brother. Incredibly hot older brother," Rebekah laughs a little.

Elena chuckles. She had to admit Damon was pretty hot.

"I used to see him few times a year, when he came back home from college, and he would always be nice to me. And then one time, he came back home, but he never went away again," Elena thinks Rebekah's skin will stretch to the point of no return if she smiles any wider. "And until him I used to think we're too young to love and to dedicate ourselves to someone," she raises her look and her eyes lock on Elena's, "But the truth is, the only thing you need is a right person," she says significantly.

Elena smiles at her before Rebekah sighs tiredly and says, "Well, I better go now," she turns around to leave.

"Rebekah?" Elena yells her name when Rebekah reaches the door, "How do you know? That you're falling in love?" she asks curiously, thinking maybe she could stop it if she's able to recognize it.

Rebekah smiles at her. "I think you already know."


	13. Chapter 13

Your life can turn around in the blink of an eye. In a flash.

Big moments tackle you when you're not looking. They jump you from the back, like a coward, but they have a power over you, nevertheless.

You never see them coming. Partially because you don't expect them to. You think you have time until your whole life turns around. You think you're too young and that it's too early for big things to happen, but no matter if you're ready or not, those moments are coming. They might be closer than you think.

You think you know who you are, what you believe in, what you want. You have no idea.

You fight against certain things because you believe they're bad for you, and then you embrace the others because you believe they're good.

You fight love because it's hard, and you embrace doubt because it's easy.

And then, everything turns around. One moment you're you, the next you're someone else. And maybe that someone else is the person you always were.

Elena was sitting by her desk, doodling in the back of her notebook, waiting for her English class to start. Caroline was in the row next to her, talking with Tyler on the phone, like they haven't seen each other few minutes ago. That's what love does to you, Elena thought to herself, it makes you dependent on someone else, like a child. You fall in love, and it's like you take few step backwards, going back in time.

Stefan was sitting in front of her, calm. This is how he always was during classes, perfectly calm. Maybe because he felt he doesn't fit in the classroom, so he tried to make himself invisible. He always belonged in the field. He never was a straight A student. Even as a boy he hated studying and doing homework, rebelling against it like it's an unnecessary evil and obligation only he has to do. He's not stupid, far away from that actually. He simply never saw any point in sitting in the classroom, listening about something that will in the next lesson be proved wrong. Because that's really what school is. You start from the beginning, they teach you something, and then next year you find out there was someone who proved other persons theory wrong, and then there's someone who proved them wrong, and you keep spinning in a circle. Stefan was never interested in letting them teach him lies. He was always much more interested in things he will be able to use. It's a popular belief guys play football because they're not as intelligent. Elena can't speak for everyone, but she can speak for Stefan. And he doesn't play football because he's too stupid to understand more complicated things, he plays football because he loves it.

Just like she loves reading books, and writing, and watching shows, because those things teach her something, in one way or another. Guess football has taught Stefan something as well. Unlike him, she was always fascinated with how world evolved. And people alongside it.

Elena never thought she could be with a guy like Stefan. Guy who never read her favorite book, or a guy who doesn't read at all. Guy who couldn't quote her Neruda when she needs to hear words of comfort. How wrong was she? All of the guys in her book club who know her favorite books by memory never did it for her. And then there was Stefan, someone who probably never heard about her favorite book, and he was able to make her whole body go stiff just with a glance. He can make her heart pound ten times faster than normal, and every time she sees him she gasps a little, silently, like he took a small amount of air from her lungs.

She raises her look a little, and her eyes fall on the back of Stefan's head. She remembers how tingly the ends of his hair on his neck were on her fingertips, and she gets an annoyingly strong desire to pull her fingers through his hair.

He smells like lemon. He always smells like lemon. His scent is stuck in her nostrils.

The bell that means the beginning of the class rings, and Mrs. Scott, their English teacher walks in. Everybody keep acting like nothing has happened, like her presence means nothing to them. Mrs. Scott never had authority over her students.

The boy from the second row stands up and says something. Elena can't hear him from all the noise other students are making. She doesn't know the boy. She had seen him around the school, and his name is on the tip of her tongue, but she doesn't know him personally. There's something sad about him. Both in his posture and Elena's memory of him. He's trying to say something, but no one is listening to him.

After some time someone yells at him to stop talking, throwing in few insults in there.

Anger flashes in his eyes and his hands clench into a fist at his sides before he reaches inside of his jacket and his fingers clench around something hard. Metallic.

A gun.

He's the one holding it, but he looks more scared than anyone in the classroom. Everyone go quiet as his hands shiver with a gun in it.

And then someone laughs. The same boy that yelled at him to shut up. He's wearing a football jacket. "Is that thing even real?" he mocks the boy whose name Elena can't remember right now.

The boy bites his lower lip and his finger flies on a trigger, making the gun go off. He never meant to shoot anyone, he was probably too annoyed and irritated, so he shot few bullets in front of him, at the shelves and cabinets on the other side of the classroom.

Elena shuts her eyes closed when she feels like her whole body is falling into shock. She can't believe this is happening. That someone in her class stood up and fired a gun. She knew her surprise is rather silly because these kind of things happen way too often than they should.

She keeps her eyes closed, and she feels a striking pain in her lower abdomen, like she's going to puke. Few girls scream. She can hear bullets crashing into metallic shelves few feet behind her.

And then it stops. Everything. The only noise she can hear is the sound of her own heart thumping and her breathing. She's so in shock, so frightened that she's fighting for air. She opens her eyes and looks around the room. Everybody are sitting calmly in their seats, some students still holding their eyes closed or their arms over their heads, but no one seems to be hurt.

And then, she hears Caroline gasp her name. "Elena," she lets out one loud and tired exhale.

Out of worry something has happened to her friend, Elena turns her head around in a hurry, the feeling she's going to puke still present in the area of her stomach.

But when she looks at her friend, nothing seems to be wrong with her, except there's a ghostly expression on her face. And then, her look falls down Elena's body and it becomes still at one point, her eyes widening.

Elena's look falls as well, and there it is. Barely visible because of the dark blue color of her shirt, a big, widening blood stain.

A small gasp escapes Elena's throat as she stands up, slowly, realizing the pain in her stomach is not induced by her need to puke at all. She pulls her fingers over the blood stain on her shirt and when she raises the fingers up she can clearly see a trace of blood on them.

Her look meets the look of the boy with a gun, and there's panic in his eyes.

The pain becomes more. More deeper, more aggressive, more everything. She feels like her knees are turning into jello as her look lands on the hole in her body. She can feel the pierced flesh of her abdomen with her fingertip. Her legs give up on her, slowly, and she starts to fall. She closes her eyes, thinking how it's better if she's not aware of her surroundings.

But she never hits the ground. She feels the set of arms around her.

When she opens her eyes, she sees Stefan holding her. She thought the next time he holds her will be under more romantic circumstances, but the fact she's in his arms takes a little bit of her pain away.

Or so she thinks.

There's fear in his eyes, fear she can't quite decipher.

"Can she stand?" someone yells from the other side of the classroom.

Elena wants to snap at them for asking such a stupid question, but the pain increases. It shoots over her whole body, making her twitch. She feels like she's seizing in his arms.

"Sit her back on her chair," she hears Caroline's panicking voice.

"No, she has to lie down," Stefan says like he can read her thoughts. Because that's exactly what she wants to do, lie down.

So he lowers her body on the ground, putting her head in his lap, moving her hair out of the way. There's a certain kind of gentleness in his look and movements, gentleness she's not used getting from him. Or from anyone, truth to be told.

He puts his hand over her wound and when he pulls it away, it's covered in blood. No one does anything. There's really nothing anyone can do. The boy with a gun is standing where he was standing all along, pulling his hair with his fingers, a desperate look on his face.

"You're going to be okay," Stefan tries to encourage her, and she wonders does his voice not shiver because he doesn't care about her enough, or because he's a good actor, "Everything will be okay," he starts taking his jacket off. He curls it into a big cotton ball and presses it onto her wound to stop the bleeding. She wonders how does he know what to do, and then she realizes it's probably from all those football injuries he had earned over the years.

A tear falls down her cheek. She's not sure when she exactly started crying.

Stefan removes few more strains off her hair from her face and looks at her gently before he turns his head around to look at the boy with the gun. "She needs help," he snaps at him, and Elena thinks how that is not the best way to talk to someone with a gun.

"Shut up," the boy cries out, still pulling onto his hair, "I'm thinking."

"You shot her," Stefan hisses through his teeth, "She's bleeding, she needs help," for a moment there he sounds helpless. Almost desperate.

The boy lets go of his hair and looks at Stefan before a desperate, painful laugh escapes his throat. "Why?" his eyes fill with tears, "Why does she get to live?" he asks with a husky voice.

Stefan's face becomes pale since he doesn't understand his question, nor does he have an answer prepared. Few students in the classroom gasp, and it takes some time for someone to finally speak, "Ryan," she says his name sweetly, personally, "I miss her too, but this won't bring Sarah back," she shakes her head, her eyes filling with tears, "Taking someone else's life won't bring her back."

That triggers Elena's memory. Three months ago Ryan was driving home from the cinema with his girlfriend Sarah when a drunk truck driver crashed into them. She died in place, but he survived with minor injuries.

Ryan puts his hands over his face and weeps.

"Who is Sarah?" Stefan asks confused, because to him it seemed he's the only one in the classroom who doesn't know what's going on.

"His girlfriend," Elena says, "She died," she whispers silently, for only Stefan to hear.

They hear the noise outside of the school. Murmur of voices. Everyone probably left the school already, and it will take little time for them to realize Mrs. Scott's class is the only one that's not out. They can also hear the sound of police and ambulance. Calling the two is an usual procedure when something like this happens.

Elena can feel the pain going through her whole body now. It's in her chest, and her arms seem heavy, as well as her legs. She has a strong headache and the noises coming from outside are not helping. She's also scared, and she just wants to sleep. She wishes she could fall asleep, but she's too afraid of closing her eyes. She's too afraid of not waking up.

One of Stefan's hand is holding the jacket which is pressing onto her wound, and his other hand is one the side of her head, cupping her cheek. It made her feel safe. It made her feel like everything is going to be alright.

"You were with her, you know," Ryan says with a chuckle stiffened in his throat, "Junior year or something, I don't even fucking know," he says, this time more angrily, "And I bet you wouldn't recognize her even if I showed you her picture," disgust and anger flash in Ryan's eyes as he looks towards Stefan.

Stefan tries to remember. He's been with so many girls, some of whose names he never found out. Some of whose names he doesn't even remember. And there were a lot of girls with the name of Sarah.

Something clenches inside of his chest, and at the same time something clenches inside of Elena's chest as well, and this time she's not sure the feeling is induced by physical pain.

"Maybe you don't know me Salvatore, but I know you," his fingers clutch harder against his gun, and something gets stuck inside of Elena's throat, "I know how you treat girls," he spits out, clearly disgusted by that kind of behavior, "And then guys like me have to fix what guys like you break," his voice goes back to normal, but his eyes fill with memories, and the only thing memories bring to Ryan is an unpleasant pain. Pain which makes him angry. Angrier. "So why do you get to live, and why does she get to die?" he raises his voice, "You never loved anything in your life, and you get to live. She loved everything in her surrounding, and she's gone," he says sadly, his voice lowering for a bit when he finally finds his anchor. Because as much as memories hurt him, he keeps on feeding of them. Finding his solitude in them.

His look falls on Elena, whose head is still in Stefan's lap, and his look lingers on his hand on her cheek, his thumb scraping over her red skin, and her tears falling around his finger. Then his look flies to Stefan who's still looking at Ryan, not taking his eyes from him. "You care for her," Ryan finally says, like he made some great discovery.

Stefan's eyes light up, they fill with fear. "She's bleeding," Stefan says, like that's the only reason he's holding her like this, like he's still afraid to admit, even in this situation. Admit that he cares, more than anyone knows. More than he would like to admit.

Ryan laughs in a mocking kind of laugh. "Can you honestly tell me, if I shot anyone else in this classroom, you would run to them and held them like you're holding her?" he asks.

Something gets stuck inside of his throat as he looks around the classroom. He barely knows anyone in there. Few guys from the football team and Elena's friend, Caroline, are the only people he knows personally. Some of them he can't even remember seeing around school.

"When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew," Ryan says as he makes few slow steps forward, "Do you know who said that?"

He doesn't know. Of course he doesn't know.

"Shakespeare," Elena says faintly, her eyes closing out of pain as she says those words.

She knows. Of course she knows.

A light smile appears on Ryan's face as he crouches down in front of them. "Smile Stefan," before his eyes move to Elena, "Before you lose her."

"Ryan, you don't have to do this," Mrs. Scott says. This is the first time she said anything since Ryan shot from his gun. "You haven't killed anyone yet, you still have a chance to walk out of here with minimum consequences," she says with a shaky voice.

"If you want to hurt anyone, hurt me," Stefan says.

"No, no," Elena cries out loud, but no one seems to pay any attention to her.

"Then you wouldn't know how it feels to lose someone!" Ryan yells at him, "Why should I be the only one here stuck with that feeling?" he yells desperately.

"You're not the only one who lost someone," Elena grips on to Stefan's arm, trying to sit up, "I know how you feel," she barely says, pain still present with her. But by now, she got used to it, like people get used to everything else.

"How could you possibly know how I feel?" he says angrily, hissing through his teeth.

"I lost my mom," she's able to sit with Stefan's help. He's still holding one of his hands on her wound, and his other hand is on her back now. "She died six years ago. Cancer," every word that comes out of her mouth is followed by a shooting pain in her abdomen, "One moment she was here, and the next moment she wasn't. And I thought how unfair it is, how out of anyone's control her illness was. It just happened," few more tears fall down her cheeks, "I was sad and mad at the same time. Mad at everyone. And then, one day, I stopped being mad."

"What about the sadness?" he asks.

Elena eyes him, then shakes her head, "Once you lose someone it stays with you, and so does the sadness. One moment you're happy, and the next one you're crying, just because something reminded you of them. You never stop missing them. That's how you keep their memory alive. Ryan, it gets better, with time, it really does," she says honestly.

He looks at her, and for a moment it seems she got through to him, until he says, "I wish I could believe you."

He raises his gun and fires one more bullet.

Everyone scream.

* * *

**AN: Pain can make people do crazy things. **

**So, who do you think got the second bullet?**


	14. Chapter 14

There was only one shot. One very loud, life changing, eventful shot, followed by murmur of screams and gasps. Everyone closed their eyes as Ryan pulled the trigger, and they held their eyes closed while screaming. Maybe the room full of loud voices was even louder than the noise the gun has made. To the people on the outside, anyway.

And then, there was silence. Shattering silence. People began to open their eyes, and their pupils widened in shock.

There was blood everywhere. On the floor, on the desks, even on the clothes of some students who were sitting nearby.

At the moment Ryan raised his gun, she clenched her fingers around Stefan's arm and buried her face in his shirt, in the gap between his shoulder and his neck. Whatever happens, she knew she wanted to be close to him. Even if she ends up with a second bullet inside of her.

She wanted to look up at Caroline, but there was no time. She wanted to see Bonnie and Jeremy as well, but she was thankful they're safe.

As she closed her eyes there was only one person on her mind. _Her mom_. She was surprised by her own words, especially when she realized she actually means them. It does get better with time. After her mom died, she would get into the kitchen and start crying because something would remind her of her - her apron, or the simple memory of her chopping the vegetables by the counter, or sitting by the kitchen island, reading a magazine and drinking coffee. It was like that for weeks, maybe even months, she lost track of time, because to her, it seemed like an eternity. And she kept wondering, is she going to spend the rest of her life like this? Missing her mom, crying over everything that reminds her of her? Material item, a memory? Is she going to spend her whole life missing someone whose leaving was out of her control? Is she going to be mad at the world for as long as she lives? For some time she thought she is. And then, one day, she woke up and instantly felt less sad and less angry. And when she entered the kitchen that morning, she was flooded with memories like every other day, but for once, her memories were pleasant. She remembered her mom making lunch, smiling at her, and for once, that memory didn't make her cry, but it made her smile.

When the gun went off her whole body shook as she held onto Stefan's shirt with her fingers, burying her face deeper into the gap between his shoulder and his neck. She screamed silently while pressing her lips next to his body. She hasn't felt any pain after the gun went off, and Stefan's body was stiff next to hers, which meant the bullet wasn't intended for him either.

She opens her eyes, slowly, carefully, and a scream gets stuck in her throat as she catches the sight in front of her. Blood. Blood everywhere. Some of it is hers. Dripping down her shirt, Stefan's jacket soaked in it, both of their hands smudged with it. And then, there's a lot of blood that's not hers. On the front side of Mrs. Scott's desk, all over the floor, on the desks and chairs nearby. There are even spots of it on other students clothes. In front of them lies Ryan, with a hole is his head. There was blood all around his body, the gun swimming in it, his fingertip still on the trigger. His eyes are wide open, like he's looking, but not really. Like he's staring at one point on the ceiling, mesmerized by something that took his breath away. Quite literally.

The pain subsided. Or maybe she just got used to it. All of a sudden, a load of shivers go through her body, making her skin prick and her body shake from coldness. She can feel Stefan's fingertips on her bare arm.

Everyone keep looking at Ryan's dead body, then at each other, then again at his body. It's almost like they can't believe it. That this is it. That it's over. Just like that.

For a moment she feels sorry for him. For a silent, passing moment, her heart goes out to him. And she wonders do everyone feel the same. Do they feel sorry too? For a boy who took his own life because of sadness that was so out of his control that it pushed him to take such desperate measures? Do they regret not being there for him? Calling him names? Ignoring him? Do they feel sorry for him because he had lost so much even before he had lost his own life.

Everyone lost somebody.

Do they hate him? For doing this? Do they think about how this could have went in a completely other direction? He could have killed them all. He could have killed her. Do they think he's weak? Do they think about him at all?

Everyone are staring at each other in disbelief, and the next thing she knows Stefan's hands are gripping onto her. She can feel her body getting lifted from the ground. She finds herself in Stefan's arms, his arms around her, one under her knees and the other around her shoulders. When her body presses onto his, her wound to his stomach, she loses a little bit of air from her lungs. He starts moving towards the classroom door, opens it and they find themselves in the hallway.

It's empty. There's nothing but silence. He starts walking towards the stairs. Her arms are around his neck, her head on his chest.

"Do you hate him?" she asks, her curiosity bigger than anything else.

"Who?" Stefan asks, and she can imagine him frowning even though she can't see his face from this position.

"Ryan," she asks, clutching onto his shirt since a new wave of pain goes through her with every spoken word.

"Yes," Stefan swallows.

He says it without thinking, like it's that easy. To hate someone even though he barely knew about his existence until few minutes ago. Just because of one mistake.

"Why?" she asks.

He huffs. "He had hurt you," his fingers tighten on her skin as they reach the stairs and start going down to the first floor, "He could have hurt more people."

"Well, I don't hate him," she says.

An annoyed laugh escapes his throat. "Gilbert, I can bet you're the only person with a bullet in their body who could annoy me."

She wants to smirk but she can't find any strength to do so. Instead, she hisses in pain, and as she does so, his grip on her tightens.

She closes her eyes, all fear of not opening them again finally leaving her. "It's okay Stefan," she puts one of her hands on his chest, her fingers scraping over it gently, "It doesn't hurt me anymore."

"Liar."

"Why? Because I'm a woman?"

They reach the entrance of the school, and Stefan pushes the door open.

"No, because you're human."

She can hear a rattle of voices, and before she falls asleep, she can feel Stefan handing her into someone else's arms.

* * *

Rebekah was looking everywhere for Stefan. She has been looking for hours for him, at all of his usual hideouts. He was nowhere to be found. Then she realized there's only one place in Mystic Falls she hasn't looked at.

She drove herself to the school, which entrance has been plastered with yellow police tape, and she had noticed Stefan lying on one of the desks in front of the school.

He has been in the police station for the better part of his day, and then, he disappeared. She thought maybe he went to the hospital to check up on Elena, but once she arrived there Caroline told her Stefan hasn't been there, and Elena was still recovering from her surgery so no one was allowed to see her until she wakes up.

"Stefan," she whispers his name as she comes closer to him.

He doesn't react to it, so she says it one more time, this time a little bit more loudly.

"Have you ever tried to count the stars?" he asks her, looking at the sky covered with shinning golden spots.

"I've been to the hospital," she furrows her brows at him.

"It's impossible, there's too many of them," he acts like he hasn't even heard the word she said.

"They were successful in getting the bullet out of Elena's body," she keeps on going, thinking the mention of Elena's name might catch his attention.

"And every time you look back at the previous spot, it looks like two more of them appeared," he smiles, but not before he swallows at the mention of her name.

"She's fine, in case you're interested," Rebekah starts getting annoyed with him.

He doesn't say anything this time, he doesn't react at all. She makes few more steps towards him, and as she comes closer to him, her nose fills with the smell of vodka.

"Stefan!" she screams his name, making him close his eyes because of them drumming sound of her voice in his head, "Are you drunk?" she asks.

"A little bit," he says, trying to get up. After some time of swinging his arms in the air he finally manages to sit on the desk. He swings the bottle of vodka in his hand, raises it in the air, and gulps on it some more.

Rebekah tears it out of his hands while he's still drinking so some of it spills on his shirt.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she yells at him angrily.

He frowns, clearly annoyed with her. "What's wrong with me?" he yells at the same volume she does, "There's nothing wrong with me," he throws his hands in the air, "I'm not the one walking into the school with a gun and shooting innocent girls, letting them bleed on someone else's arms," his voice gives him up.

After she sees the look in his eyes, and the true meaning behind his words, she exhales silently and walks over to sit next to him. She puts the bottle next to her, far away from his reach, even though she doubts he would try to reach for it anyway. She looks at him, and he looks lost. He looks hurt, and she realizes there's still blood on his shirt. Her blood. He didn't even care enough to change.

"I know things could have ended differently," she says, putting her hand on top of his, feeling how tense he is, "Worse," she says the word silently, not even wanting to think about it, "But she's fine," she tries to encourage him.

"I almost lost her," he swallows, his head slowly starting to hang tiredly on his body, "Before I got a chance to - " he says with a husky voice, but never finishes the sentence. Rebekah knows exactly what he meant to say, though. "And then she says she doesn't hate him," he says exhausted, clearly still annoyed with her words, "He had put a bullet in her and then she goes around saying she doesn't hate him," he covers his face with his open palms.

"Maybe her heart is bigger than any of us think," Rebekah says.

Stefan's hands fall from his face in his lap as he looks at his best friend. She smiles at him and stands up, taking his hands in hers, pulling him up. He pushes himself off the desk.

"Now you're going to go home," she orders him friendly, "You're going to have a good night sleep, take a shower, change your clothes, and then," she smiles at him, after you wake up, "You're going to the hospital to see your girl."

* * *

"So, you're going to be left with a scar?" Caroline looks sadly at Elena, glancing at the spot on her body where her wound is, even though she's unable to see it directly.

Elena nods her head sadly, not liking the idea of having the scar on her abdomen for the rest of her life. It will look hideous when she wears a bikini. "A little one," she frowns, pulling her fingers over the bandage on her abdomen, feeling light prickle as she does so.

"Scars are not ugly, they're a proof you've been through something and you survived," Bonnie says, trying to make Elena feel better.

"How poetic," Jeremy comments, holding his arms around his girlfriend shoulders. He says it with a mocking voice, which makes Bonnie raise her head towards him and stick out her tongue in his direction. Jeremy shoots his look at his sister. "I called dad," he scratches the back of his neck with the fingers of his other hand, "He said he will be here next week," he furrows his brows, clearly disapproving, "I tried to convince him he should be here today, but he said it's not possible," he rolls his eyes.

When Jeremy says he tried to convince their father Elena knows that actually means he threw a bunch of insults at him, insults to which their father doesn't even react anymore because they became a normal part of every conversation he shares with his son.

"Jer, it's okay," Elena says, trying to pretend her fathers absence is not getting to her. Jeremy shoots her a look by which she knows he knows it's not okay.

"Well, you don't look like someone who has been shot yesterday," she hears a voice coming from the other side of the room. She raises her look and sees Stefan standing there, leaning onto the door frame, smiling in her direction. Smiling at her like there's nobody else in the room.

He's a sight for sore eyes, in his purple shirt and dark trousers, his eyes covering her whole body, his smile set directly on her. She has no choice but to smile back at him, as the memory of him holding her in his arms comes back to her, as well as the memory of him carrying her down the stairs like she weighs nothing. Blush attacks her cheeks, and she tries to hide it by lowering her head.

Caroline catches her reaction and with a meaningful look on her face says to Bonnie, "Well, I could use a cup of coffee."

"Me too," Bonnie agrees, pulling confused Jeremy by his sleeve.

"You don't drink coffee, you say it tastes like - " they hear Jeremy saying from the hallway to which Bonnie has dragged him to, and Caroline follows them with a smile on her face.

Before she exits the room, she stops next to Stefan, "Try not to wear her out, she did have a surgery only yesterday," she winks at him, and he smirks smugly at her before she leaves the room.

Elena rolls her eyes, at the same time wondering when did Caroline and Stefan get so comfortable with each other to crack jokes about his and Elena's relationship.

"So, how does look someone who has been shot yesterday?" she asks once they're left alone.

Stefan walks over to her and makes himself comfortable on a chair by her bed. "Not like they're prepared for a runaway," he looks at her face.

"Caroline insisted," she says, knowing he's referring to her make up, "In case there are any cute doctors."

Dammit, you don't need any cute doctors, he thinks to himself.

He smirks at her. "You look pretty good in that hospital gown," he says through a chuckle, "Does it have a crack on the back?" he asks hopefully, still smirking at her, "I kinda miss your ass."

Elena does her best to sit on the bed, but as she pushes herself from the pillows, she squeaks in pain. Worry flashes in his eyes, and it makes her smile, and her smile takes his worry away. She puts her hand on her back, "It does," she says as she finds out, "And you would be able to see my ass perfectly since I'm not wearing any panties."

His eyes widen in shock, his mouth opening a little.

She bursts into laughter. "I'm kidding," she says through a light laugh as a sharp pain goes through her body, "Pervert," she rolls her eyes.

"Hey, you're the one with a perfect ass," he raises his eyebrow in her direction. Stop talking about her ass, you idiot.

"Stefan, I wanted to thank - " she begins, wanting to thank him for everything he has done for her, but she never gets a chance as he interrupts her in the middle of the sentence.

"Would you like to go out with me?" he asks in a hurry, words tumbling out of his mouth like a waterfall. She looks at him surprised, almost in disbelief, like it's the last thing she would expect from him to say. "I know this isn't the most proper moment," he starts playing with his fingers, "Maybe it's too soon," he says nervously, almost like he has no idea what he's doing.

He doesn't. He never asked anyone on a date. This is a completely new territory for him, and he tried to do it like everything he doesn't know the first thing about - sloppy, nervously, fast. So no one notices he's lost in something.

"Are you sure you want to go out with a girl with a hole in her body?" she teases.

"I'm not interested in your holes."

"Well, this must be the first."

"You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?" he laughs nervously, "By answering with yes or no," he swallows before he pronounces no.

She looks at him with a smile on her face. She can feel her face flush.

"Yes," she looks at him gently, "I'm going to go out with you."

* * *

**AN: Every cloud has a silver lining.**


	15. Chapter 15

"Wear the blue one," Rebekah throws a blue shirt at Stefan who has been checking himself out in front of the mirror. Stefan turns around when he notices an item of clothing flying over to him in a mirror, and the shirt lands into his hands. He tries to prevent it from crumbling as he eyes it.

"I like the green one," he looks down his body at the green shirt he's already wearing, "You told me it makes my eyes pop," he raises his look and smirks at her.

Rebekah roles her eyes. "Wear the blue one," she squints in his direction, "Trust me on this one," she tries to convince him.

He eyes her, then goes back to eyeing the shirt in his hands, but eventually he shrugs it off and pulls the green shirt off his body to replace it with a blue one. He concludes he likes the blue one more because it's not so tight on his body, but he also decides not to admit it to Rebekah so she wouldn't gloat.

"Perfect," Rebekah exclaims enthusiastically as she claps her hands and gets off his bed to her feet. She walks across the room and loses herself in his closet. "Here," she says happily once she pops out of it, holding a light grey blazer in her hands, "Wear this over the shirt."

Stefan cocks his eyebrow in her direction. She's enjoying this way too much, playing dress up. Then again, Rebekah always had an eye for fashion, except when it comes to her own clothes. Then she's confused as hell. But when it comes to other people, she acts like a true fashion guru.

"I look like a geek," he comments on his appearance while adjusting the collar of his blazer. He looked himself in the mirror, and he had to admit Rebekah really does have a good eye. His blue shirt goes well with his dark jeans, and the light colored blazer makes him look less dark.

"Chicks dig that," Rebekah taps him on the back. "Now," she takes the bottle of hair gel in her hands, "Let me do your hair," she smirks, and he can see her devilish smirk in the mirror. He rolls his eyes as she applies some of the gel on his hair.

"What's going on here?" Damon asks tiredly as he pushes the crooked door of Stefan's bedroom open. He yawns as he watches Rebekah do Stefan's hair. He always yawns, he always sleeps, ever since he came back home.

"Stefan is going on a date," Rebekah says excitedly while pulling her fingers through Stefan's hair, "His first date."

"It's not my first date," he spits out, still rolling his eyes.

Rebekah frowns, pulling onto his hair. "Yes it is."

Stefan raises his eyebrow. "Well, what do you consider as a date?"

"You buy her food, and it has to be outside of the house," Rebekah nods after some thinking.

"It doesn't have to be outside of the house," Damon shakes his head as he leaps on Stefan's bed.

"Okay, it has to be outside of the bed," Rebekah corrects herself, and this time Damon has nothing to add.

Stefan ponders on his answer for quite some time before he says, "Once, me and Katherine had sex in a car and after she craved for a burger so I bought her one. Does that count?"

Rebekah eyes him in disbelief, and Damon bursts into a fists of laughter.

"Wait," Rebekah shakes her head, her eyes closed, "Katherine ate a burger?" she asks in disbelief since Katherine never eats anything that could endanger her perfect weight. Or so she says.

Stefan remembers how he wasn't supposed to tell anybody about that, but he also realizes how Rebekah is not going to tell anyone if he asks her not to. "She says she gets really hungry after sex," Stefan shrugs it off.

"So, my little brother going on his first date," Damon comments while trying to sit up, "At the age of 18," he furrows his brows.

"Please," Stefan snaps at him, "Like you were any better," he rolls his eyes as Rebekah does some final touches to his hair.

Damon chuckles. "Sorry to disappoint you little brother, but back in my days girls wouldn't put out unless they got dinner first," Damon says, which earns him an angry look from Rebekah. She turns her head to him in a hurry, and squints her eyes at him before focusing back on Stefan's hair.

"So, where are you going anyway?" Rebekah asks once she realizes they have never discusses this.

"La Rosa," Stefan smirks.

"That's pretty special," Damon comments with a proud look on his face, "Most guys take their dates to the Grill."

"Well, she's a pretty special girl," Stefan says with a smile on his face, which is followed by Rebekah's loud and long _awwww_.

"And who is this girl?" Damon asks surprised, left in disbelief because of Stefan's words.

"Elena," he almost sings her name, like it's a melody. It rolls down his lips so gently, like a gentle stream of mild water.

Damon's eyes pop out. "Little Gilbert girl?" he asks confused.

At first, Stefan is surprised by how stunned Damon is by the information, and then he remembers how he talked about Elena in front of his brother, and he realizes Damon's confusion is justified.

"Feelings change, Damon," Stefan says relaxed, like none of it is a big deal.

Rebekah shakes her head, "They don't, they simply become brighter," she comments, but it seems like neither of the Salvatore boys listen to her.

"You said you hate her," Damon furrows his brows, locking his eyes on his brothers reflection in the mirror.

Before Stefan gets a chance to defend himself, a light chuckle escapes Rebekah's throat, "Boys, boys," she hums amused, "Don't you know anything?" The brothers share a look before both of them look at Rebekah. "The only reason why he had thought he hates her is because he was attracted to her and it was confusing him because she's not kind of a girl he usually gets attracted to," she explains like that's so easily to conclude.

Stefan smiles, and for the first time after a long while, he doesn't argue.

* * *

It's been two weeks since Stefan asked her out, and since he did, the question has been tugging on her chest, inducing incredible happiness, but also tugging on her brain, creating fear. Why did he ask her out? Why now? Is it because he feels sorry for her? Because he pities her? Because he feels like he has to?

Or because he wants to do it?

She's been in the hospital for a week. She wasn't allowed to leave until her dad comes home. Her friends tried to visit her every day, and surprisingly, so did Stefan. Sometimes he would even bring Rebekah, who really grew on Elena. She was funny and carefree and not at all what she had thought of her before.

She also felt incredibly comfortable in Stefan's presence. Once she relaxed around him she realized he has a power of making her laugh even when she's in pain. He can calm her down when she wants to destroy everything in her eyesight.

After a week of being in the hospital her dad came home and she was ready to leave, even though she was supposed to rest. She was still chained to bed, only in her own room, which was way more comfortable than being chained to a hospital bed. She hated hospitals. They reminded her of death and illness and her mom. Her mom would always smell like hospitals when she came back from her therapies. She had small orange bottles full of pills on her nightstand, the same Elena has now. For pain.

The week after she was ready to start school, and the first day he had seen her there, Stefan had stopped her in the hallway to make preparations. She was surprised he did because, for a moment, she had thought he forgot all about it, or that he doesn't want to do it anymore.

She couldn't be more wrong, though. When she confirmed she's free tonight, a wide, bright smile appeared on his face, and he almost tripped over his own foot while telling her he will pick her up at 7pm in front of her house.

Elena decided to wait for him on the sidewalk because the last thing she wanted is Stefan facing her dad. It's not that her dad had anything against Stefan, he probably barely remembered him from her childhood, but he was a military dad. She was too afraid he will ask Stefan a bunch of personal questions and maybe make him pee in a cup to test him for drugs.

Caroline had offered her services but Elena refused, saying she's perfectly capable of dressing herself. Once she started, she regretted declining Caroline's proposal. She tried an unbelievable amount of outfits before she had finally decided to wear a slightly ruffled black zip up skirt, cotton sky blue top which she tucked into the skirt, and matching black blazer that reached her hips. The top was a little baggy because whenever she wore something tight, the bandage was visible under her clothes. She's getting rid of the damn thing soon, though. She tried to step in her favorite heels, but she was unable to walk in them. Every time she made a step, a slight wave of shockingly distinct pain went through her abdomen. So she settled for her flats.

When she realized what time it is, she grabbed her little chain purse from her desk and rushed downstairs, careful not to wake up her dad who was napping on the couch in the living room. Jeremy will fill him in about her whereabouts once he wakes up. She opened the door and stepped inside on the porch, closing the front door, as silent as possible. When they clicked closed she hissed a silent _yes_ through her teeth.

When she turned around she had noticed Stefan leaning onto his red Porsche. He was wearing his signature smirk on his face, and she smiled right back at him. She had to admit, she always wanted to take a spin in his car, simply because it was shiny and divine and hey, it was a Porsche.

"Nice car," she raises her eyebrow in his direction, eyeing the car behind him, but he doesn't take his look off of her. Once she stands before him, and realizes that without her heels she's way shorter than him, he pulls an ever wider smile.

"What, this old thing?" he taps the top of his car gently, holding her look with his.

She rolls her eyes. She's not frustrated or annoyed with him but she rolls them anyway, simply because it's something she always does in his presence. It's like a reflex.

He lets her look go and his eyes fall on the ground. "You look very nice," he mumbles.

Blush attacks Elena's cheeks, a bucket full of it, and in that moment Elena is thankful his eyes are on the ground. "What, this old thing?" she regains her posture pretty quickly, imitating him.

When he raises his look half of the blush from her cheeks is already gone. The corners of his lips curve into a sweet smile as he opens the door of his car for her.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Salvatore," she smiles at him as she sits in the car. Her ass falls perfectly into the leather seats of his Porsche, and she can feel the leather touching her bare skin. It's so comfortable in there, she has a feeling like she's floating on a cloud.

He opens his door and leaps into a drivers seat, putting the key into a hole and starting the engine. As they start moving along the street, the silence strikes them. Something tightens in her throat when she realizes there's nothing she has to say to him, and her palms become sweaty. She glances at him with a corner of her eyes and catches the same nervous expression on his face.

He turns on the radio.

"I love this song."

"I hate this song."

They say at the same time, which makes them both look at each other. He smiles nervously at her before looking back at the road and she does the same. This only reminds her there's a gap between them. Something missing. Something that kept them apart all these years.

But they never were similar. They always had their differences, even as kids, and back then they were best of friends, even though they liked different things. Maybe because back then it was easier than it is now. Maybe back then even the biggest differences didn't seem as big, and now the smallest ones seem crushing.

She tries to not think about it. She tries to think about what they have in common. She tries to think of a reason why she agreed to go out with him, why she wanted him to ask her out, and why did she laugh at his jokes even when she didn't find them funny.

But the only thing her brain is capable of searching is an answer to why he had asked her out in the first place.

They pass the Grill, but they don't make a stop there. Elena realizes she had assumed they will be going to the Grill since everyone always go on dates in the Grill. She also very well knew she's overdressed for it, it's more of a place for casual outwear, unless there's a party. She hasn't put much thought to where he will be taking her. Maybe they're going to the cinema. Impossible, the cinema is on the other side of the town. Also, they kinda already were in the cinema together, if chaperoning counts. She's not sure it does, but she counts it anyway. Couples usually don't go to the cinema for their first date, not if they're serious about each other. You go to cinema to make out, not to get to know someone better.

Her heart starts jumping when she asks herself is Stefan serious about her since he's not taking her to the cinema? A small smile appears on her lips, a faint, barely noticeable one, but fear also washes over her when the thought of being in a relationship with him instills in her mind. She never thought about Stefan as a boyfriend material, and she asks herself does he know how to be one. Can he be who she expects him to be and can she give him what he wants?

There's too many things on her mind. Things she hadn't think through and she should have before she agreed to this date. Before she started developing feelings for him and lowering her walls down. Before she had let him step back into her life.

"We aren't going to the Grill?" she asks casually, trying to pretend surprise.

He doesn't look at her but a smirk reappears on his face. "The Grill is a little bit dull, don't you think?"

There aren't many hangouts in Mystic Falls, and the Grill is the most popular one, so that's where everyone are going most of the time. So when it comes to a special occasion it can come up as dull.

"Where are we going then?" she frowns when they pass the board which says they're leaving the city.

"La Rosa," Stefan says casually.

Elena sucks a little bit of air through her teeth in a surprise. La Rosa is a restaurant placed few miles outside of the town, at the entrance of the woods. It's very private, and very romantic. It opened only few years ago, and in a small town like like Mystic Falls, it became a big hit among the adults. She knows Alaric takes Jenna there often, and she knows Jenna is amazed by it. By the interior as well as by the food. Teenagers usually don't go there because it's so far away, and because it's so damn expensive.

She furrows her brows. "Isn't that a little bit - "

"Unexpected?" he interrupts her before she gets a chance to finish her sentence. He makes a right turn at the entrance of the woods and they find themselves on the parking lot full of little grey stones. The car trembles as it goes over the little stones and when Stefan finds an empty parking place he stops the car in it and turns to her to say, "Well, now you get to be pleasantly surprised," he smiles at her before he gets out of the car. She follows his lead.

They walk over the parking lot, stones prickling her feet through the thin bottom of her flats. They stand close to each other, but they do not touch. She can feel the warmth of his body, though.

And then, something unexpected happens. She can feel his hand lingering too close to hers, and she sucks some air in her lungs when she feels the tension of his body. Slowly, his finger touches hers, and when she doesn't pull her hand away he takes it as an open invitation and takes her hand into his, intertwining their fingers. She gasps as that small action makes her feel like there's a stormy sea inside of her body, waves crashing onto each other. Her hand is stiff in his but after few moments her fingers relax and she manages to grab onto his hand as tightly as he's grabbing onto hers.

They walk like that towards the entrance without looking at each other, but both of them smile, one before the other.

From the outside, La Rosa looks like one of those cabins in the woods, just a little nicer because there's flowers around the building, nice vanilla colored curtains over the windows, white marble steps and golden staircase handle.

Stefan pushes the front door open and steps aside for her to step inside.

Once she's inside Elena realizes what the whole fuss about this place has been about. The walls from the inside are the same as from the outside - wood. There's a wood of lighter shade on the floor. It would seem cold if there wasn't for the fireplace. The lights are dimmed, which gives a certain romantic feeling to the place. Some slow music is playing, one neither Stefan or Elena recognize. There's a bar in the middle, diving the room in two. On one side there are tables scattered around. Big, nice tables with tablecloths whose color matches the color of the curtains. There are four white leather chairs around each table. On the other side there are boots that vary in size. Some of them are round, with a round table in the middle, and some of them consist of two leather sofas with a square table in the middle.

"Steven?" Elena hears a girl saying his name, gently, sweetly, personally. A surge of jealousy goes through her, a feeling she can't explain, and as much as she wants to let go off his hand, she doesn't.

She turns around and sees a young, perky, blonde Caroline alike standing in front of them, smiling at Stefan like he's the most beautiful think she has ever seen. Well..

Wait, Steven?

She's dressed into a black skirt that covers her knees, white button up shirt, and a waistcoat. Her hair is tied into a tail, and she's wearing glossy nylons and ordinary black heels. All of a sudden Elena feels extremely superior over her because she knows she's dressed better, easier to the eye. Elena looks around the room and realizes the waiters are dressed the same as the girl before them. She probably works here.

"Emily," Stefan says her name through a gasp.

The girl shakes her head like she can't believe who's in front of her eyes. "What are you doing here? When did you get back from France?" a smile on her face still present.

France? What the..? Elena looks at Stefan as his whole body goes stiff.

Stefan clears his throat through a cough. "Few weeks ago," he says silently, and his voice changes. Does his voice always change when he lies? "We have a table reserved."

The girl looks from Stefan to Elena and when her look falls on their joined hands the smile from her face disappears. She stares at them, then she checks Elena out, full body check, and then, she shakes her head. "Of course," she moves behind the table with a book on it and goes through the page, "Salvatore," she says when she finds the name and crosses it off the list. She grabs two menus from the table and smiles at them as she starts moving down the room. "Follow me," she says cheerfully.

They follow her across the room, and as they walk Elena notices a small pool of water, paved with big rocks, and small candles in metal cases on lilies swimming on the top of the water. There's something relaxing about the sight, and Elena forgets everything that has been going on in her mind.

She leads them to one of the smaller boots, and once they settle in she leaves them the menus, smiles one more time and walks away.

The boots are separated by foggy glass for privacy. The leather sofa is almost as comfortable as the seats in Stefan's car, but the tables are bare, unlike the ones on the other side of the room. There are few candles on the table and they smell like rose. There's a window on the wall and through the thin curtain Elena can see the woods. It's dark and scary, not a comforting sight, but at least they're not looking at the road. Elena tries to look as less as she can through the window. She can hear voices in the distance, a slight murmur, but she can't hear what anyone is saying. It's hot in there but she doesn't want to take her blazer off. For some reason she doesn't want to bare her arms in front of him, which is quite silly since he had seen her in her underwear.

"So, how do you know.. Emily, is it?" she can remember the girls name clearly, but she pretends she can't.

"Oh, we - " Stefan stops himself even before he starts explaining, trying to find the right words. But there are no right words.

Elena looks at him confused, waiting for an answer, but when she realizes what he's pointing at, she releases one silent _oh_.

He wiggles his lips and lowers his look on the table.

"Stefan," she says his name roughly, "I'm not stupid, I know you were with other girls," her words make him raise his look up in surprise, "And I know they're not going to magically disappear just because you're here with me," she picks her menu up from the table and opens it on the drinks section. Her eyes go over the page and she realizes she could go for a glass of wine. Or something stronger.

She wants to drop the subject, she really does, but her damn curiosity doesn't leave her at peace.

"I have to ask, though," she drops the menu back on the table, "France? Steven?"

He swallows. "You really don't want to know."

"Oh, I think I do," she pushes it.

He sighs loudly before he leans on the sofa and puts his hands on the table. He intertwines his fingers as he says, "Fine."

"Sometimes, when we're bored, me and Rebekah drive to the next town," he says likes it's nothing. If he's been doing it for a while, it probably is nothing for him. "And we pretend we're someone else," he says and Elena's eyes widen in surprise. She doesn't say anything, though, she keeps waiting quietly for the rest of the story. "We usually go to this one bar on the main street, sometimes somewhere else, but before we enter we agree on who we are going to be."

"How do you mean who you're going to be?" she asks, clearly interested in the story.

"We come up with a back story. We can be whoever we want to be. Tourists, brother and sister passing by, anything but us. Anything but who we really are."

It may be a little twisted, but she likes it. It's a good way to run away from yourself, your problems, your usual routine and slip into someone else's skin.

"About a year ago I met Emily over there," he looks towards the front of the room. Elena assumes he can see Emily from where he's sitting. She can't since she's looking at the other side. "I was pretending I'm a businessman working for some big company. We came to town to seal a deal. Rebekah already went home with some guy and I - "

"Wait," Elena pauses him, "Isn't Rebekah with Damon?" she asks surprised. She remembers Rebekah's words about Damon and judging by how she talked, there's no chance she would ever cheat on him. She sounded like she's in love with him.

"This was before Damon," he brushes off, "Anyway," he continues, and Elena crosses her arms on her chest, "I met Emily. She fell for the whole thing. One thing went to another," he finds himself unable to say it out loud in front of her. That he had sex with some woman he doesn't even know. That he had to lie to have sex with her. "Afterwards, she asked me when are we going to see each other again, so I told her my company is opening a department in France so I'm leaving in two days, but when I come back I'm going to give her a call," he claps his hands when he finishes the story.

Elena looks at him with shock, but still, she manages to say, "Of course, you haven't, because you're actually a High School student. And now when she has seen you with some other girl," she wanted to finish her sentence with _she won't bother you_, but she realized she's that other girl.

"I had no idea that she works here," he says.

Of course he hasn't. If he had a slightest idea they wouldn't be here right now.

"That's disgusting," Elena says truthfully since it's the first thing on her mind. Sometimes, words just stumble out of her mouth. She has a tendency to say whatever is on her mind, and sometimes, that's not such a nice quality to possess.

His jaw stiffens and he lowers his look back on the table, and he looks like she had slapped him. Those words coming out of her mouth had hurt him. Even though it is the truth, it is disgusting. A lot of his actions were disgusting. Are disgusting. But somehow, her knowing they were falls down on him more than anyone else knowing them.

He feels like he had disappointed her, and he can't place that feeling or decipher why he feels that way.

"Stefan, what are we doing here?" she asks with a husky voice, and he raises his look to her instantly.

"I thought it would be a nice change," he says.

She shakes her head. "I don't mean the place. I mean what are we doing on this date?"

He looks at her confused, his mind swirling with thoughts, but all of the words seem to escape him.

"Did you ask me out because you felt like you have to, because you pity me?" she asks, the place between her brows slowly closing.

He frowns. "Elena, I asked you on a date because I wanted to, not because I felt like I owe it to you," he says, asking himself why would he owe it to her to ask her on a date but he doesn't find an answer.

"Then what? Are you playing some sort of a game with me too? Do you plan on dragging me to bed and then tomorrow at school acting like you don't even know me?" she asks, her voice losing itself in her throat, the mere possibility of it happening causing pain in her chest.

"Elena, if I wanted sex, I wouldn't call you," he says.

Her lips part a little for a little air to escape between them as she leans back on her seat.

He slaps himself mentally for the words he just said. "I didn't mean it like that," he says, angry at himself, "What I meant it, you're not like that," he wants to say more, how he knows she would never sleep with him on the first date, and how he would never treat her as just a booty call, but he gets lost in his own words, so he huffs annoyed. "My point is, I like you, which is strange because you annoy me half of the time, and for some reason, it turns me on. Which is more strange," he furrows his brows, and she chuckles lightly. That's a good sign. "Every time your words hit one of my nerves it only makes me want you more. But you also have this sweet side which makes me agree with things you say, things I would normally never agree with," his shoulders shudder, "So no, I'm not playing you, and I have no intention of sleeping with you tonight," doesn't mean he doesn't want to, "Because I respect you and every annoying fiber of your being," something fires up in his eyes as he finishes the sentence.

Elena keeps on looking at him with a smile on her face, a smile that only keeps getting wider and wider until she feels like the skin around her lips is going to crack. It's a nice feeling, being liked.

She likes being liked.

* * *

„How can you not hate him?" Stefan asks, angrily, mostly still in disbelief.

The rest of their date went well. More than well. Excellent. They tried to avoid talking about the negative things, as well as the future, so they focused on the positive things more. They talked about their friends, shared experiences, pulled few memories out of the well, and most importantly, they laughed.

Elena thought he's going to drive her home after they left the restaurant, but he said there's something he has to show her. He pulled her behind the building, into the woods, and they started walking down the small path. It took them few minutes to reach the other side, and once they did, Elena concluded that the fear of being eaten by wild animals while going through the dark woods was totally worth the sight in front of them.

There was a river which was divided by a thick wall from the land. The stony path was covered with candles. There were lamps which were encircled by flowers, and every now and then there was a bench.

Rebekah heard about this place from her mom, and she had shared the information with Stefan. Just in case he needs a backup plan.

"The guy shot you," Stefan says annoyed, "You have to hate him!" somehow the shooting became the topic of their discussion again.

"He lost someone, probably the most important person in his life," she says sympathetically.

"Everyone lost someone, but not everyone go around shooting people," he makes a statement, and he does have a point.

"Loss and grief can cripple you in more ways than you can imagine," she says, a hint of pain present in her voice, "You feel unexplored feelings and think weird things," she remembers how she felt after her mom died, "And some people are too weak to handle it," she looks up at Stefan.

They're walking down the stony path, fingers of his hand intertwined with fingers of her hand, both of them thinking how surprisingly natural this feels. Them holding hands.

"How do you do that?" he asks.

She frowns. "Do what?" she asks confused.

"Make a point," he remembers how many times he had to silently admit to himself that she's right and he's wrong, "You're always right and it's so annoying," he shakes her head and when his look falls back on her face, he notices a smile on her lips. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" he asks, but her smile only keeps getting wider, brighter, "Elena, sometimes you make me so – " he never gets to finish his sentence, but a loud_ urgh_ escapes his throat.

He detaches his fingers from hers, and moves his hand to her face. He puts the open palms of his hands on each of her cheeks and cups her face, pulling her closer to him until his lips reach hers. And he kisses her.

She's stunned by his actions. One moment it seems like he's annoyed with her, and other he's kissing her. But who cares? He's kissing her and she's kissing him back.

He pushes her against a wall, and she can feels herself sitting on it. He helps her climb up, and his hands fall from her cheeks down her body. First they fall on her ass, but when she twitches he moves them to her hips, his thumb brushing the bottom of her bandage. She throws her hands around his neck, pulling him closer to her, and starts playing with the hair on the back of his neck with her fingertips.

Maybe it's not about the similarities. Maybe it's not about the sharpness of the edges. Maybe we're not supposed to be with someone who has the same taste and opinions and interests, or similar imperfections and traits. Maybe we don't need someone who will nod their head at our every word and let us win and argument every time we fight.

Maybe it's about the differences. Maybe we need someone who has bulges where we have hollows because that's the only way we can fill in what's missing. Maybe it's about shaking heads instead of nodding and maybe it's about the strength of not crying when we lose an argument. Maybe it's all about the challenges and the fights and the tears. Maybe it's about finding someone who is our complete opposite, but at the same time the mirror of our soul.

Maybe it's about this. The kisses that taste like sugar and happiness.

To hell with everything. To hell with insults and arguments and the books he has never read and Neruda's lyrics her will never quote. To hell with his shitty taste in music and the way he makes her blood boil and to hell with his past and all the time they had hurt each other.

To hell with it when his kisses are heavenly and his touches make her skin burn. When he makes her laugh and feel good about herself, when she feels comfortable in his presence and smiles when he smiles.

So to hell with all the times he will call her an idiot and the times she will call him a sex addict, because his kisses taste like rain and cinnamon and Stefan, and his touch leave a mark on her skin that tell she has always been his.

And then, his hands move from her hips to her bare legs, and the feeling shatters. Another one replaces him. Complete ecstasy.

His fingers go under her skirt, and his hands roam on her thighs. Up. Up. Upper.

He detaches his lips from hers, and before she gets a chance to open her eyes, his lips fall on her neck and she concludes she doesn't want to.

Finally, his fingers reach her panties, and she gasps. He smiles against her skin.

His brushes are gentle, and every time he touches her, she gasps.

"I thought you have no intention of having sex with me tonight," she says as she moves her head to a familiar gap between his shoulder and his neck, and her voice makes his skin vibrate. She moves her body a little down on his hand, hoping he doesn't notice.

He notices.

"I don't," he says, making her gasp louder, into his ear, "Doesn't mean I don't want to," he says truthfully.

And then, he stops and pulls his hand away from her panties, as well as his lips from her neck. She's confused, horrified she did something wrong.

"I'm sorry," he says.

What does he have to be sorry for? He can keep doing whatever it is that he was doing.

"I simply do not know how to do this without sex."

She ponders on his statement, but doesn't reach a conclusion.

"Do what?" she asks confused.

"A date."

"You have never been on a date?" she asks surprised.

He wiggles his lips.

She's no expert either, but she's been on few dates.

She jumps from a wall.

"Well, you've been doing pretty well so far," she says, "We were out of the house, you payed for food, pretty much a definition of a first date."

"Is there a difference between the first date and other dates?"

"Well, it's usually a guy who asks a girl on the first date, so he pays," Elena repeats Caroline's words, "But when two people are in a relationship and go on more dates they're supposed to split the bill, or at least they're supposed to argue about who's going to pay until the guy finally pays."

Stefan massages his temples. "Let's make a deal," he says knowing he won't memorize all of these rules, "On our dates, we will skip the arguing part and go straight to me paying the bill."

Elena cocks her eyebrow in his direction. "Our dates? There will be more after tonight?"

"Well, I still haven't felt your boobs."

She smacks him on the shoulder with her open palm. He barely notices it.

"Another rule, no second base until the third date."

"Wait," he says confused, "I thought there's no sex until the third date."

"These are my rules."

"Elena, you just let me feel you - "

"Moment of weakness," she says before he gets a chance to finish the sentence.

"Oh yeah? What if you experience the moment of weakness on our second date as well?"

She ponders on it a little. "I'll watch porn before we leave."

"Can I be present?"

She smacks him again, this time a little lower.

"Frigid cow."

"Sex maniac."

"So, I'm not allowed to touch you?"

"You can hold my hand?"

He reaches down and takes her hand into his.

"It would be my pleasure, Gilbert."

* * *

**AN: This chapter is a little bit longer. My apologies, I got carried away.**


	16. Chapter 16

"Soooo," Caroline squeals with a big smile on her face, "How was it?" she nudges Elena with her elbow.

Elena's face flushes as she pulls a wide, bright smile across her face. She lowers her look down when the waitress approaches their table and puts their orders on it.

Elena pulls her hot chocolate towards herself, and raises her look to glance at her friends. Her cheeks are still red, only getting redder from the hot stream of her beverage, and there's still a smile on her face, smile she can't erase from her lips. She doesn't have to say anything to answer Caroline's question, her smile says it all. Both of her friends smile back at her.

Hot chocolate reminds her of Stefan. It's warm and it makes her skin prickle, almost burn. She tightens her grip around the cup so she can feels its warmth.

"Caroline almost came here to spy on you," Bonnie says, rolling her eyes, "But I was able to stop her," she exclaims victoriously, sipping her apple - cinnamon tea.

The girls practically dragged Elena to the Grill. She had to beg her dad to let her go since he wasn't too pleased with her sneaking out last night while he was napping. As much as Elena loved having her dad home, she hated it as well. He is incredibly controlling. If anything is any different than he would like it to be, he acts like it's the end of the world. He tried to force his kids to feel the same, which never sat right with Elena. Jeremy and her had their own lifestyle, life their dad was rarely part of, and every time he comes home he asks them to change their ways. To act differently and live differently.

No matter how he acts, he is her dad, though. And she loves him. So she never complained.

"Well, if you came here, you wouldn't find us," she tilts her head to the left, smiling.

Bonnie and Caroline share a look before looking back at their friend. Elena grips the cup with both of her hands before she lifts it up and sips a little bit of chocolate from it.

"So, where were you?" Bonnie frowns curiously.

"Cinema?" Caroline wiggles her lips, knowing cinema would be a disappointing option for a date.

Elena shakes her head no, pulling her fingertip over the edges of a cup.

"The Grill and the cinema are the only places where people go to dates," Bonnie furrows her brows. She always gets worked up when she doesn't have an answer to whatever is bothering her. "So, if you weren't on either of those places, where were you?"

"Oh," Caroline squeaks like she's in pain, "Please don't tell me you slept with him!" she looks at Elena with a pleading look in her eyes.

"No," Elena says through laughter. Few weeks ago she would be more defensive about the subject. She looks into Caroline's eyes who doesn't seem to believe her. "No!" Elena exclaims one more time, trying to make Caroline believe her.

She remembers how weak she was. How light she felt because of his touch, and if he tried to make a move, she probably would have let him. She feels a little ashamed because of it, because that's not her. It's not like her to let boys get so close so soon. None of the boys made her feel like Stefan does, though. So light, so weak, so giggly. Well, no one but Stefan and Winchester brothers.

She couldn't recognize herself sometimes, when she remembers how she had let him touch her, or where. He started occupying her thoughts on daily basis, making her mind wander, distracting her from more important things.

No one else made her feel more wanted. No one else made her feel better. Like she's actually worth of bother. Now she knows, when she enters the classroom, someones eyes are actually on her. She didn't know why he decided she's worth it, but out of some reason, he did, and she found it selfish to question his motives.

She did not know is this change good for her or not, but part of her didn't care. Part of her simply wanted him because he made her feel good. He made her feel alive.

It was weird, though, her friends making such assumptions after just one date. Thinking she would actually sleep with him so soon. Since when did things change so much, that her best friends doubt her morality? Did she gave them a reason to? Did she gave them a reason not to?

Maybe she wasn't able to guarantee for herself that she wouldn't sleep with him if he kept doing what he began, but the thing is, he had stopped himself. He was so persistent, so willed, so sure they won't sleep together. And it's a big step for him, since that's the only thing he ever knew how to do.

But this time, he tried to be better. Better for her. So how can she not want him, when he clearly thinks she's worth it?

Worth of something. Anything.

"He took me to La Rosa," she smiles shyly.

"No way!" Caroline exclaims in disbelief.

"I've heard that place rocks," Bonnie says.

Elena indulges herself by reaching into her memory and admiring the place all over again. She remembers the pleasant smell of a rose from the candle on their table, and the sound of the night coming from outside, slow romantic music that makes one more relaxed than they already are, dimmed lights.

Stefan's gentle eyes on hers, centered on her lips every time she laughs. Every time he makes her laugh.

"Oh, it does guys," Elena says, overwhelmed by the memory of it, "It's so romantic!"

Caroline shoots her a jealous look, knowing Tyler probably won't ever take her there, since he's not one to pull big romantic gestures. Bonnie probably doesn't even hope, since Jeremy doesn't even have a drivers license yet.

"And then?" Bonnie puts her elbow on the table, and holds her chin with an open palm of her hand.

"Then what?" Elena tries to play innocent, but a faint smile appears on her lips. Smile she tries to suppress.

Bonnie ignores her try to come of as innocent. "Well, I assume you had dinner," she says, and Elena nods her head in confirmation, "So what did you do after?" she cocks her eyebrow in Elena's direction.

"Oh, we went for a walk," she answers calmly, although she's screaming from the inside.

Screaming because she can hear the slow and quiet stream of the river buzzing in her ears, sound of the night coming from the depths of the forest, the sound of the wind playing with tree branches. She remembers her fear of the dark, fear that's present with her since early childhood, and how quickly it dissolved into nothingness when he took her hand into his. She remembers his laugh, and how quickly her laugh followed his, and she realizes she can still feel the tips of his fingertips on hers. If she closed her eyes and tried hard, she's pretty sure she would be able to feel his hands roaming over her body, his fingers skipping to places she shouldn't have allowed to skip. She can very well feel his lips on hers, though. They have been burning and prickling since they parted last night.

"A walk?" Caroline asks wearily.

Elena furrows her brows. "Yeah, a walk," she says while nodding slightly, "We walked and talked.."

"Did he try to kiss you?" Bonnie asks with a smile on her face.

Elena giggles. "He succeeded in kissing me," she blushes slightly.

Both Caroline and Bonnie laugh, more at her giggle than at her response.

* * *

"So, did you charm her with your sex skills?" Rebekah asks while sprawled across Stefan's bed.

Stefan laughs, his hands on his stomach. "No," he shakes his head, crumbling the bed sheets beneath him, "No sex," he says happily, and he never thought he would ever be so happy because of lack of sex, "I did charm her with my other skills, though."

Rebekah gasps, faking surprise. "You have other skills?"

He takes a pillow and hits her with it. She squeaks a little, so it sounds more like a laughter, before she takes the pillow away from him and throws it on the other side of the bed.

This is how her and Stefan spend most of their time. Lying on the bed, listening to music and talking.

"Well, this is a first," Rebekah says with an indifferent tone of voice.

"What is?" he asks, furrowing his brows.

"You setting your eyes on someone and not dragging her into bed," Rebekah says dryly.

Stefan swallows when he realizes how ugly this sounds.

"Is that bad?" he asks, his voice cracking a little.

Rebekah raises her head so she's able to look at him. "No Stef, not at all," she shakes her head with a smile on her face, "It's quite opposite," then she frowns, "I was only thinking about why now and why her?"

Stefan wiggles his lips, trying to find an answer good enough, but he fails. He's not sure he can explain it. He's not sure he understands it himself.

"Don't get me wrong, Elena seems like a great girl," Rebekah defends her previous statement out of fear Stefan understood her wrong, "She's pretty, and smart, and funny, and I like her," she says because she does, she really does like Elena, "But," there's always a but, "You can't say none of the girls before possessed all of those qualities," she wiggles her lips.

Stefan ponders on that. The thing is, he never thought about any of those girls in a long run. He never thought about what kind of people they are. They were hot and available and that's all he cared about.

He sits on the bed, his legs crossed. His eyes lock straight on Rebekah's. "I know," he lowers his head a little, not sure why, "But none of the girls made me feel like she does," he tilts his head into the initial position.

A wide smile appears on her face, self indulgent one, like he proved one of her theories, maybe something she hasn't shared with him before. "Oh," she says half excitedly, half curiously as she sits on the bed as well, "And how is that?"

A faint smile appears on Stefan's lips, somehow making his face more brighter than it really is. "When I kissed her for the first time," his smile becomes wider as he remembers, "It's not only that I didn't want to stop kissing her, but I also felt like, when I wake up tomorrow, I'll want to do it again. And day after that, and day after that," he smiles, "And I never felt like that about a girl before."

He lived a pretty simple life as far as the romance goes. He had never let a girl get close enough for him to develop feelings for her, and he never felt the need to get close to any of them. And Elena, it's like she was always there, inside of him, waiting quietly. She didn't even try to get close to him, she was waiting for him to get close to her. And for the first time he wanted to take a step forward. All of a sudden everything didn't feel as useless anymore as it did before. It felt just right.

"I know it's probably just a crush," he shrugs it off, feeling like he revealed too much, "I know she's probably not the girl I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, and that this whole thing will fall apart as soon as we go to college. If not before," he looks into Rebekah's sad looking eyes. He feels like she's pitying him.

"So," Rebekah asks curiously, "What is it exactly about her that makes you feel this way?"

Stefan frowns, but there's still a smile on his face. "I have no idea," he shakes his head, a little frustrated, "I know I haven't been a saint, and I know how I used to say none of it means anything, how it's not worth it," he tries to find the right words, but finds it hard to do so, "It's not about how I finally found someone worth the bother, it's about how someone like her decided I'm worth of the bother," he finally says, honestly, "And if someone as amazing as her thinks I'm worth it, then there must be something good about me, right?" his voice cracks a little.

Rebekah looks at him surprised, maybe even baffled a little. She never thought he might feel like this. It never even crossed her mind. He always seemed so sure in himself and.. happy.

"Stefan," Rebekah reaches for his hand and takes it into hers, "There's something good about you whether she can see it or not," she caresses the top of his hand with her fingers, a faint smile present on her lips.

He smiles back at her, nodding, but he doesn't look like he believes her.

* * *

"Elena," she hears a voice coming from behind her, so she turns around, glancing at Caroline and Bonnie, who are standing beside her, as she does so, "I thought I've recognized your ass," Stefan smirks in her direction as he walks towards her.

Elena feels like her legs are turning into jello. Her stomach begins to stir, and her heartbeat raises its pace. She puts her hands behind her, the tips of her fingertips are touching her locker, making sure she doesn't crumble to the ground.

She smiles at him, not objecting to his provocations.

He stands in front of her, his eyes locked on hers, and he puts his hand on her locker, in level with her head.

His body is so close to hers she feels like she might scream.

She's afraid he will be able to hear the thump of her heart which only makes her heart thump louder, and she realizes how her fear doesn't make sense.

Nothing about this makes sense.

Her look falls on his lips as he parts his to speak, "I know where we're going for our second date," he says smugly, tilting his head to the side.

He smells like lemongrass and sunshine.

She shifts her look to his pure green eyes.

"I wasn't aware I agreed to another date," she says as she notices people staring at them as they pass by. They know something is going on, something new, something unexpected, and everyone will probably start gossiping about it in few minutes. Few seconds more likely.

All of a sudden she's not invisible anymore. Not to Stefan, not to her friends, not to the people around her. She doesn't find herself invisible anymore either.

"Then I'll just have to kidnap you," the corners of his lips crook into a smile.

Her look falls back on his lips, and she bites her own lower lip. His lips are so inviting. It's a strange feeling, she gets, like she's hungry for him, like she wants to taste him again, but she also feels like she had never tasted him before since she can't quite remember how he tastes.

But he would never kiss her in public, in school, where everyone can see them. Would he?

She rolls her eyes. "Where are we going then?" she asks calmly, and in reality, there's a certain weight in her chest, crushing her.

He reaches for his pocket and takes out a flyer out of it. He holds it in the air for her to see, a smirk still present on his face.

"Paintball?" she asks surprised. She didn't expect that.

She didn't know what to expect.

He nods. "I thought it would be good to keep your moments of weakness in control."

Redness attacks her whole face and she takes her look away from him.

"There's no need to feel embarrassed," he says with the same smugly tone of voice he used before, "I usually have that effect on girls. I don't see why would you be any different."

She takes her look back to him and grins, because really, that's the only thing she can do. "I'm so going to beat your ass," she says.

He grins right back at her. "We're going to see about that."

And then, before he turns around to leave, he lowers his lips on hers and gives her one small, quick, sloppy peck on the lips.

He runs, leaving her stunned.


	17. Chapter 17

Elena didn't put much effort in getting ready for their second date, considering where they were going. She decided to wear jeans, tight black shirt and low black Converse, since she will be in a paintball suit for the better part of their date. She also thought tying her hair into a bun might be a good idea. The possibility of getting paint all over her face didn't stop her to apply a minimum amount of make up, concentrating on her eyes the most, and on her lips the least, like she usually did. She wasn't that big of a fan of lipstick, but a strawberry lip gloss was a must at all times.

She had luck on her side because her dad wasn't home. Actually, no one was home, and for the first time in a long while she was thankful for that. She was able to nervously run up and down the stairs, even though she couldn't find the origin of her nervousness. Stefan was ten minutes late, so she attacked a bag of chips, viciously, asking herself when did she become this girl? Girl who shivers before a date, who blushes when he whispers sweet nothings in her ear, who melts under his fingertips. Is every girl that girl? Do even the strongest ones pull their walls down when they find themselves in such a situation?

Carrie Bradshaw was independent and one of the earliest models of a modern woman, and in the end she went back to the man who treated her like shit, forgiving him all of the times when he walked away, forgetting all of the times she cried, hoping he will walk through that door and come back to her.

Maybe she should be more like Elizabeth Bennett. Maybe she should keep fighting it, and instead of pulling her walls down, she should wait for someone strong enough to pull those walls for themselves. Someone willed enough.

Or maybe, she should be more like Elena Gilbert. Whoever the hell she is.

Finally, Stefan came, she fixed her lip gloss, and went to meet him. This time he rang the doorbell. She smiled at him blushing, and he returned her the same smile. This time, she didn't want him to kiss her, she wanted to feel his skin on hers, she wanted him to take her hand into his.

He didn't fulfill her wish.

Instead he walked her over to his car, opened the car door for her, and she settled into soft, comfy leather seats, regretting she didn't wear anything that exposes her skin so she can feel leather on it.

The drive this time was a little shorter than the last, since the paintball factory was on the edge of the town, but on the other side, which was a lot closer to Elena's house. They spent their time chit chatting, teasing, and this time, there was no need for music.

After a while, Elena relaxed completely, forgetting all about her initial nervousness.

When they arrived they realized they're the only ones there. It was probably too late for kids to be there, unless someone's celebrating their birthday there, and paintball isn't exactly popular among people older than twelve. Stefan never claimed he's mentally any older then a twelve year old.

The guy working there eyed them wearily when he gave them their suits and equipped guns.

Elena wanted to pay for her part, but Stefan gave her a look of warning, reminding her of their deal from the other day. She wanted to follow the rules, just in case.

"I'm going to kick your ass so hard," Stefan says as both of them emerge out of their cabins, dressed in the suits. He cocks his eyebrow in her direction, trying to intimidate her, but she doesn't seem too preoccupied by it.

She smiles at him encouragingly and he winces.

"Have you been here recently?" he asks. He has to win, he's a sore loser, and he doesn't want her to see him like that.

Elena frowns. "Not since we were little," she scratches her leg which is itchy under her suit.

The last time she was here was probably with him. She remembers how much he loves paintball. Or anything action packed where the winner is clear. Stefan loves winning, and she doesn't care about losing, which always made them a perfect team. Since she didn't mind letting him win only so she doesn't have to see that sour look on his face.

"Then I'll give you a head start," he winks at her, letting her go in the room first.

She shrugs, leaving him uncomfortable in front of the door. She enters a big black room constructed like a labyrinth. There are bright blue lights all over the room, they're dim though. Her skin is itching even though she has her clothes under the suit, and the paintball gun is heavy in her arms.

She concludes she likes romantic dinners in restaurants much more than wild surprises.

Maybe that's who Elena Gilbert is. Simple girl from a small town who has dreams far too big for her hands to create.

After few minutes she can hear the door opening and Stefan's footsteps on the linoleum floor.

"Stefan, help," she calls for him innocently.

He frowns. "What?"

"I'm stuck," she says with an annoyed tone of voice.

He chuckles while walking forward, going deeper into the labyrinth. "Elena, you're not going to trick me."

"Stefan," she says his name through a sob, "Please, I'm being serious," she whines, hitting into one of the blocks which make the labyrinth.

"Elena," he rolls his eyes, "You're so transparent."

"My skin was so itchy," she cries out.

"Excuse me?" he says with a husky voice.

"It's still itchy. The suit made it itchy. I tried to take it off, but it got stuck on something," she whimpers, "I tear it off me, and scratched myself, but that wasn't enough," he can hear her swallowing her own tears, "My skin was still itchy, especially on my legs, so I had to take my jeans off," she whines, and he can hear a scratching sound, her fingernails meeting her skin.

He swallows.

"I tried to take my top off, but I fell over the net," she says, and he remembers there indeed is a net in the room, "And got stuck in between two blocks," she cries out loud again, before she says, "I just hope there are no cameras here."

There are few cameras in the room indeed, if anything goes wrong, if someone accidentally gets hurt, but he doesn't say anything. He doesn't want her to worry.

Plus, he's not exactly sure he believes her, even though her whimpering is pretty convincing.

The problem is, Elena Gilbert is not one to whimper.

"I'm itchy and I can't scratch myself," she says silently, and he can imagine her blushing, "I'm itchy all over my body. Will you scratch my skin for me, Stefan?"

He swallows hard as he stops walking. He looks around the room but he can't see her anywhere.

She's half naked asking him to scratch her itch? Yes, please.

"Where are you?" he asks.

"The last row, right next to the net," she says, this time more calmly.

He knows where the net is by memory, and when he reaches it he makes the right turn, and notices two slightly shifted blocks, a gap between them. He exhales in relief, thinking he has found her, but when he comes closer and bends to look into the gap, there's no one there.

He furrows his brows and groans angrily. He wants to say her name, but before he manages, he can feel something pressing onto his back. He pulls himself straight up and slowly turns around. He notices Elena pointing a gun at him, a gun which is now pressing onto his stomach, and there's a smirk on her face.

"I was thinking, which I was able to do since you were so generous to give me a head start," she says slyly, "I'm a little rusty at paintball, so there's no way I could win playing fair," her smirk becomes wider, "And I knew you would never give up on a half naked girl."

As he faces his defeat, he realizes he's strangely proud of her for being able to trick him. It's such a turn on, when a woman deceives a man, since men do it all the time.

He grins at her and grips her wrist with his fingers. She gasps in surprise, but lets him lead her on the other side of the room. He turns her around and pins her to the wall in the corner, her gun falling from his stomach. She looks at him curiously.

"It's a good thing you didn't take your clothes off," his eyes lock on hers, capturing all of the surprise she carries in them, "Since there are cameras in here," his grin becomes wider as more surprise washes over her face, "There are few places which can't be seen on the cameras, though. This is one of them."

It takes her some time to realize what he's saying, but once she does, a devilish smirk appears on her face.

The rules? To hell with them.

His hands fall on her hips, and he keeps looking at her eyes expectantly, not doing anything until she gives him a hint there's something she wants him to do.

Instead of letting him pull her closer to him, away from the wall, she pulls him onto herself. He puts the open palms of his hands on the wall behind her, on the level of her shoulders, so he doesn't squish her with his full weight. Instead he lets his body linger on hers, his chest touching her chest.

Their bodies create an unbelievable amount of heat. So much heat which starts prickling their skin through their suits, making them sweaty. She wishes they're somewhere else. She wishes she can just throw herself on him. She wishes she can be with him.

She's not acting like herself again. She can feel someone else possessing her body, some other side of her, a side she never knew exists. Side she can't believe is part of her.

Such a corrupted side. But the worst thing is, she finds it enjoyable.

His face comes closer to hers until the tips of their noses touch.

He parts his legs so hers can fit in between his as he steps over them, making her a prisoner under his body.

Her heart starts to pound wildly again. Pounding so hard that she has a feeling it's going to pierce through her skin.

She wonders can he hear the thumping sound, the one she can hear in her ears, as well.

His lips are so close to hers, but he doesn't kiss her, not just yet.

She inhales his scent. It's like it never left her nostrils.

Her eyes wander over his face until their eyes meet. He keeps staring at her, even though they can see each other well because of the darkness, she can feel the tension. She can feel he's devouring her with his look.

His lips scrape hers and she shivers. Her lips tremble under his, and all she can think about is how this is a wrong place, and maybe wrong time.

Her chest rise and fall under his, very quickly.

His lips fall on hers, and his hands start roaming up and down her body. She opens her mouth, giving him access, and she can feel him on the places his hands haven't even touched yet. He's making her hot. Hotter.

His kisses burn her throat like acid, but they're also healing it right afterwards. She's afraid she will burn all the way to the bottom if he ever stops kissing her.

He detaches his lips from hers, allowing them to catch some air, but before she even manages to take one inhale, she can feel his lips on her neck.

The temperature of her body starts changing rapidly, one second she's hot, the other she's cold.

Her arms fly around his neck and she starts pulling her fingers through his hair.

"Stef," the words stumble out of her mouth, "You make me feel so.." she tries to finish her sentence, but she can't find the right words. Or any words. "I feel like.. unf," his teeth scrape over the skin of her neck, making her tremble under his touch, "You've destroyed me."

"That's my specialty," he mumbles.

* * *

When they came to return their suits they realized the guy didn't see anything going on in the labyrinth. He was playing some online video game, hi eyes far away from the screens that camera captures. He eyed both of them wearily when he noticed neither of their suits are covered in paint, but he didn't say anything.

Elena thought that their date ended there, even though it was only 10 in the evening, but Stefan suggested a drink. She happily accepted.

She was also surprised when he stopped the car in front of her favorite coffee shop.

"Here?" a smile appeared on her face. She hasn't been in here since they came home from Rome.

"This is your favorite place, isn't it?" he asks, but doesn't wait for an answer.

He gets out of the car and she follows him, surprised he knows this is her favorite place since she started coming here some time after they stopped being friends.

They get in and the little bell above the door rings. The waitress raises her head in surprise. She's probably not used to seeing anyone in here so late even though they're opened until midnight. She smiles at them happily, and Elena smiles back at her. The waitress probably recognized her since she spends a lot of time in here.

The place is empty so they have a full freedom to decide where they want to sit. Elena chooses the little booth in the corner, and Stefan follows her. They sit across each other, and the waitress comes to take their order. Elena orders a hot chocolate, and Stefan asks for coffee, which surprises Elena a bit.

"Won't coffee make you lose sleep?" she asks once the waitress is gone behind the counter.

A faint smile appears on Stefan's face as he shakes his head. "Coffee has no effect on me."

The waitress comes with their orders quickly, a smile still present on her face.

"Let's play a game," Stefan says happily, his eye flickering.

Elena frowns, afraid to find out what he has in mind. "Which game?"

"Never have I ever," he smirks lightly.

She cocks her eyebrow in his direction. "Aren't you supposed to play that game with alcohol?"

He laughs. "Yeah, but we can play it for fun as well."

"Okay."

"Okay, you go first."

Elena wiggles her nose, trying to think of something.

"I've never been skiing," she says, mentally slapping herself for such a stupid statement.

Stefan furrows his brows. "Neither have I," he smiles in her direction, "I've never been to a zoo."

Elena's mouth drop. "Never?" she asks surprised.

Stefan shakes his head no.

"My parents used to take me to the one in Atlanta."

"Well, my parents aren't kind of people who plan family trips," he says, a note of sadness audible in his voice.

Elena takes a sip of her hot chocolate, not knowing what to say in reply. She only thought how one day they could take a trip to Atlanta so he can visit a zoo, but she didn't say anything. She was thinking too far ahead.

"I never got so drunk that I didn't remember anything the next day."

Stefan smiles at her. "I wish I could say that," he says through a chuckle. "I never read a book longer than 150 pages."

Elena cocks her eyebrow at him. "They write books with less than 150 pages?" she comments cockily, and he laughs.

She realizes she likes making him laugh.

"I never had sex with someone who I've just met," she bites her lower lip.

She has no idea why she said that since she obviously knows the answer.

Maybe she wanted to test him. Maybe she wanted to hear it one more time.

Maybe, if she hears it again he will fall low in her eyes and all of this will stop. Things will go back to how they were. She will get out of this without being hurt, unscratched.

She was still afraid. Maybe she was stepping forward but every time she made a step fear washed all over her.

Maybe she wanted out.

Did she?

"I have," he says truthfully, "One time too many."

No lies. He wants to be completely honest with her. She deserves the truth. She deserves everything. She deserves better than him.

Nothing happens. He doesn't fall in her eyes. She still feels the same. Like he deserves more, a girl who can give him what he wants. A girl that's not afraid.

"I've never been in a relationship."

"You haven't missed much."

He laughs again, and she laughs at his laugh, because him laughing makes her happy.

She inhales and bites her lip one more time.

"I've never had sex in a public place," she looks him in the eye. She didn't want him to tell her that he has, that was not her intention. She was admitting something to him.

He raises his eyebrow, smiling. "And you want to?"

"Maybe."

"Where?"

"A car," she says instantly, and he grins at her. "Beach," her eyes shimmer. She looks at him, "Are there any places you haven't done it at and want to?"

He takes a sip from the cup and nods. "Kitchen."

She smirks. Interesting.

"I've never been in love," he says while looking her in the eyes.

She exhales. "Neither was I," she admits.

Surprise washes over his face. "Matt?"

"I was far from being in love with him."

"He was in love with you."

"I know," she sighs, "Which is why I broke up with him. Because I knew I'm never going to feel the same."

"I've never walked with a girl holding her hand," he says, ignoring the fact it's her turn. He reaches for her hand over the table and intertwines their fingers. "Until you came along," he smiles at their hands.

"I never thought a kiss can do this to you," she bent over the table, her lips collapsing with his. It was a small peck on the lips, but he knew exactly what she means. She sits back and blushes. "Until you came along."


	18. Chapter 18

Elena was sitting on their living room couch for an hour already, swaying lightly from her frequent mood swings.

One moment she's happy, feeling like she has the whole world on the palm of her hand. Like her life couldn't be more perfect at the moment since she finally got a chance to do something she wanted to do for quite some time. She has a chance to create memories. Memories she will, one day in the future, be able to share.

The next moment she would become fearful. Ashamed of her actions, ashamed of herself. Ashamed of what he makes her feel and how he makes her act.

What makes her more scared is the fact that maybe this is who she has been all a long. Maybe he never really changed her, just pulled out that side of her on the surface. Maybe she's the one who induced the change, and he's only picking he fruits of her labor?

Did she really change that much? When she looks in the mirror she sees the same person she had seen last year. Well, that's not entirely true. Out of some reason she feels sexier, like someone wanting her doesn't sound like April's fool. She feels better, happier, even her smile is brighter. Which makes her prettier all together.

Is the girl she's becoming really that bad that she should feel ashamed of her? She never planned to be a nun and join the convent, she never claimed to be a saint, not even to herself. It's not like he picked her up on the side of a road and she repaid him by spreading her legs .

So what if she enjoys their passionate kisses or if she lets him slip his hands in her private places? It's not like she doesn't want him as well. It's not like she doesn't..

..care for him.

They went from being best friends to enemies, from enemies to frenemies, from hating each other to making out in the middle of the dance floor in the capital of Italy. Then she developed feelings for him, thinking he doesn't feel the same way, and now when she knows he does, she's scared? Backing away?

Are they ever going to walk down the same path? Maybe some things are simply not meant to be.

But if she gives up on him, she will give up on something pretty damn great as well. She will miss out on something extraordinary. And she's sure she doesn't want to do that.

"We alone?" Jeremy peeks his head from behind the wall that is separating the living room from the hallway. As much as Elena likes having their dad home, that's how much, or maybe even more, Jeremy doesn't. He's avoiding him the best way he knows how, and sometimes it seems that dad is avoiding him as well.

"The coast is clear," she answers calmly, pulling her knees closer to her chest .

"Where's dad?" she can hear his footsteps behind her.

"Out," the truth is, she has no idea where he is.

"Lena, is everything okay?" he asks worriedly, taking her back to early childhood when he couldn't pronounce her whole name so he started calling her Lena. He was only two years old, stumbling on the wooden floor behind her repeating the nickname he had for her until his mouth went dry.

"Yes," she says, trying to force a smile on her face, but to her surprise, she fails. He stops in front of the couch, but she doesn't raise her head to look at him. "No," she shakes her head, her chin hitting the top of her knees.

Jeremy clenches his teeth. He wants to help her but he doesn't know how. Elena never needs help, she's always the one offering it. She never seemed to have anything he could help her with in the first place.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he sits on the coffee table across her, and she looks at him from the corners of her eyes.

She chuckles. "I really don't think you would want to hear it," she looks at him sweetly, "It's more of a mother daughter conversation," she lowers her look, "And mom is not here," she swallows, the words coming out of her mouth so quietly she's not sure he can even hear her .

He doesn't react to her words. He never reacts when it comes to mom. "Can't you talk to aunt Jenna?" he asks supportive.

"I already know what Jenna would say," she would say what she always says, _go for it, take a risk, you only live once_. She really didn't want to hear those words right now.

Jeremy takes in account what aunt Jenna has to say is not what Elena wants to hear. "Bonnie? Or Caroline?" he makes more suggestions.

Bonnie is not interested in Elena's relationship with Stefan. Sure, she's been supportive, but that's how Bonnie is. She was just fulfilling her duty of a best friend. And Caroline is a little bi t biased.

So Elena shakes her head no.

Jeremy rubs the palms of his hands, one against the other. "I guess I'm the only one left, then," he puts his hand on her knee, slightly caressing her, "Come on sis, I might surprise you," he winks at her after she raises her look at him.

"It's Stefan," she huffs.

He inhales deeply. "Thought so," his face expression becomes hard, "I've heard some stories."

"Bonnie?"

"No," he shakes his head, "People around school."

"Oh," she shivers.

He clears his throat through a cough. "Some are really unbelievable. Rather silly," he chuckles, and fear washes all over her, draining the color from her face, "Some people are saying you're fuck bud dies, and I know you, rain of toads is more possible than you engaging in such an activity," she bites her lower lip , "S me are saying you're pregnant , and if you really were pregnant, I think I would have noticed," he eyes her carefully, "And then, there are rumors that you two are dating."

Elena brings her eyebrows together.

"None of those things are true," she can see some weight being lifted off Jeremy's chest. He probably had his doubts.

"Where are you then?"

"Somewhere in the middle. Except the pregnancy part, of course," she rolls her e yes.

He nods his head uncomfortably. "So, where lies the problem, in the first, or the second part?"

Elena winces. Her brother is basically asking her with what does she have a problem with, having sex with a man or being in a relationship with him? Shouldn't one go with the other?

"Both," she says truthfully, she owes him that much since he's trying. This can't be easy for him, but he keeps holding on because he can see she needs someone.

His shoulders relax a little. "In all honesty," he wiggles his lips, "Stefan Salvatore and relationships are two terms that simply don't go together."

Elena looks at him, wanting to defend Stefan, but she realizes Jeremy's words are true. Those two things simply don't go together. "I know. I'm aware of that. But you have no idea what he's like when he 's with me."

Jeremy furrows his brows, pulling his hand away from Elena's knee. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

Elena rolls her eyes. "He's not playing me Jer," she says determined, "The problem is not in him. It's in me."

He blinks a few times in surprise before he glares at her. "How?" he frowns.

Elena shakes her head slightly, she can feel tears piercing through her eyes. "He's been great Jer, really great," she decides to swallow her own tears, inside of her throat they feel like nails, " He's everything I ever wished for," a faint smiles appears on her lips, "But me. . I'm so insecure. So inexperienced. I'm scared of myself."

He keeps on glaring at her, trying to find the meaning behind her words.

"I'm scared of everything he makes me feel, of the things he does to me, of the things I'm prepared to do. I'm not acting like myself," she says with a husky voice.

"Or maybe you finally are," he offers her another solution.

She frowns at him, looking offended, once again asking herself why.

He notices the look on her face, and realizes he had expressed himself wrong.

"I never meant to offend you," he shakes his head, trying to find the right words, "It's just.. you have always been so cautious, Lena. Planning your every move, every thought, trying to live up to other people standards," and by that, she knows he's referring to their father, "While, deep down inside, you live for adventure."

She glares at him, wondering why would he say that, until she realizes he has a point. She always wanted to live through something wild, something unexpected, something she would never do in theory. She always wanted to do something that is unlike her, she just never had guts to do so.

"Now, as a guy, and your friend, I would tell you to loosen up a little bit," he winks at her, "But speaking as your brother," he taps her knee with his open palm, "If he ever lays a hand on you I' m going to beat the living shit out of him," he smiles, his hair falling over his forehead.

She giggles, wondering could Jeremy ever take Stefan down. He's pretty strong, but Stefan is stronger.

She will just have to be careful it never comes down to that.

* * *

Stefan was really secretive about their third date. He wouldn't let her know where they're going, he wouldn't even tell her how to dress, no matter how hard she begged. She tried to use all of her charms on him, even her childish smile and a pouty look, but he wouldn't spill anything. She didn't want to blackmail him with sex, it would only make her feel more confused about herself than she already is.

Bonnie made it clear she doesn't like surprises. Caroline said surprises are romantic.

And Elena kept glaring at her opened closet.

Stefan didn't compliment her looks the previous time. Maybe she has to look like she popped out from an ad to look beautiful to him. Or maybe he forgot. Or maybe he didn't feel the need to point it out again.

She liked it, being complimented. It felt nice.

So why not test him?

It was a beautiful day outside, one of the warmest and brightest since they came back from Rome. It was only 5 in the afternoon, and she knew it's going to get chilly once the sun goes down, but she decided to take a risk.

She opted to wear a light, white, cotton dress that barely reaches her knees. The top of her dress, over her chest, is shaped like two shells next to each other, and the bottom of the dress is shaped like a bell. She could feel the brim of the dress on the upper part of knees . She knew there's a chance she's going to freeze, but to hell with being sure o f things. You can never be sure of them.

When it came to footwear she decided to play safe and go with her flats, because she didn't know where he's taking her. With Stefan you never know, especially after their last date. She had put a minimum amount of make up on her face, as always, only taking it overboard with her lip gloss. Over the years, she developed an addiction to strawberry flavored lip gloss, which, she remembers, Matt used to hate, so she had to cut it down to a minimum while they were together.

She had let her long hair sprawl over her back.

Even though her skin was exposed she didn't look overly attractive. She was more cute than hot.

She decided to wait Stefan on the sidewalk, but when she came out of the house, he was already stopping his car. He came out of it, and she noticed a nervous smile lingering on his face. She swallowed because the expression on his face wasn't welcoming at all, even though he tried to pull the most believable smile he could.

She walked over to him, her little bag bouncing on her hip, his eyes glued on her figure, but the look inside of them wasn't hungry at all, it was scared.

"Is everything okay?" she asks worriedly once she stops in front of him, her voice gentle.

"What?" he jumps a little, and his eyes flicker, "Oh yes, yes, everything is fine," another fake smile appears on his face and she tries to digest it, even though she's curious about the reason behind it. "You look," he starts, and then stops, his eyes going up and down her body. They're not holding hunger, but they aren't holding fear anymore either. They hold.. admiration. "Breathtaking," he finally finishes his sentence.

Large amount of blush attacks her cheeks. They become so heavy that they pull her head down, making her look at the ground , swaying left-right.

"Thank you," she murmurs silently, awe struck by his choice of words.

She has never been breathtaking to anyone. She never thought she will be.

She was ready to satisfy her selfish needs with nice, or pretty, or in the best case beautiful.

"Shall we?" she can imagine him smile so she raises her look to confirm her suspicions, and really, there's a smile on his face. He looks calmer. Still nervous, little less though.

He opens the car door for her, and she steps inside, happy to feel leather on her skin again.

"So, are you going to tell me where we're going?" she asks once he gets inside and starts driving.

"Nope."

"Not even a hint?"

"Nope."

"Please," she says sweetly.

A smile appears on his face. "Nope."

She makes a pouty look, one he couldn't miss even if he tried. "Please," she says again, her eyes shimmering.

He takes his eyes off the road for a moment to look at her big, brown eyes. How can he say no to those?

"Fine," he gives in, and she claps her hands in victory, "I don't think this can even count as a date since it doesn't follow the rules," he furrows his brows.

She huffs. "And we're so big on the rules," she says sarcastically.

He chuckles at her comment.

"Of course, if you're hungry afterwards, I'll feed you."

"I'm always hungry."

"Me too."

They look at each other for a moment.

When they reach the edge of the town he takes a right turn and they drive through the thick woods until they finally reach the clearing and he stops the car.

"We'll have some walking to do. You up for it?" he asks her like she has a choice.

"Sure," she shrugs it off.

They get out of the car and start walking towards the small hill in front of them. When she catches up with him, he smiles at her and takes her hand into his. She blushes again, wondering is his touch ever going to make her stop blushing.

When they reach the hill she notices there's a path on it, in between all the grass. They start walking, climbing up the hill in silence, her hand into his.

This time, the silence is not awkward. It's pleasant. It's like her utopia.

"How much more?" she asks once they're close to the top, her feet hurting, the bumps on the path poking her through her flats.

"Just a little bit more," he squeezes her hand into his.

She exhales tiredly but keeps going. Or he begins to pull her after him.

When they reach the top of the hill he stops, and she bumps into him.

"Have you been here before?" he asks, a wide smile on his face as he's looking in front of himself.

She peeks her head from behind his back and her jaw drops a little at the sight in front of her. Down the hill there's a beautiful lake, so clear, almost like a mirror. The sun is behind it, setting down. Its yellow, orange and red color reflecting in the lake, and it looks like it's burning. There are tall trees on the other side of it, swaying on the light wind, its branches looking like angels wings.

"No," she gasps. She hasn't seen something so beautiful in a very long time. If ever. She can't believe her town is hiding such a beauty, and she didn't know about its existence. "Stefan," she say s his name almost melodically, his name swaying off her lips like branches on the wind, her words as soft as leave s in the Spring, "It's beautiful."

He turns his head to her only so he can capture the glimmer in her eyes.

"I've never seen something so beautiful, " she whispers.

"Neither have I," he says silently, so silently he can't even tell if the words came out of his mouth, or did he say them only in his head.

She turns her look to him, and when she notices he's looking at her, and not at the lake, she blushes and takes her look away from him.

"Let's go down," he starts walking and pulls her down the hill behind him.

They run down the hill, she's barely stopping herself from tripping and falling over. Wind is cold on her skin, and it' s going through her hair, ruffling it. When they reach the bottom they slow down and start slowly walking toward the lake. He guides her towards the large rocks close to the lake, and they sit on them.

Their bodies are close, pressing next to each other, so she lowers her head on his shoulder, and soon enough after she does it, he plants a kiss on her forehead.

Her whole face warms up and becomes brightly red.

"How did you find this place?" she asks curiously, nuzzling her face into his shirt.

"It's a funny story actually," he chuckles, "When I was nine, Damon had a huge fight with our dad, I can't even remember what it was about," Elena notices his age and that they were still friends at the time, but he has never told her about finding this place, "Anyway, Damon ran a way from home. My parents didn't even notice," he huffs, "And I didn't want to bother them, so I decided to find him all by myself. Stupid, right?" he asks, but she doesn't say anything." Damon loved hiding in the woods, they were like his second home. So I started looking for him there and somehow stumbled on this place."

Elena nods. "Did you find Damon?"

"Little bastard was in our attic all along," Stefan hisses at the memory.

Elena laughs lightly. "And you've been coming here since you were nine?"

He nods. "Mhm," he hums, playing with her hair, "I come here to clear my head."

"So," she says, "How many girls did you bring here," she cocks her eyebrow at him.

It's a beautiful place, girls must have loved it.

He looks at her seriously. "One."

His look hardens, and she feels ashamed.

"Oh," is all she manages to say. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I thought we could both clear our heads," he smiles at her, the ends of her hair still between his fingertips. "Also, I wanted to talk to you."

She swallows hard.

"What about?" she asks cheerfully, trying to seem relaxed.

He locks his eyes on hers. "What did you mean when you said I've destroyed you?" words stumble out of his mouth over his trembling lips.

A stream of cold air gets stuck in her throat. "I think I've expressed myself badly," funny for a girl who loves to read so much, she thinks to herself. "I have no idea how to explain it, honestly," she raises her head from his shoulders, trembling. She should have put more thought in this. She should have thought about it more clearly. "I'm a pretty simple girl, but when I'm with you, I'm everything but simple."

He looks at her confused, not quite sure he knows what she means by it. It's like she's talking in codes all the time.

She notices the confused look on his face, so she tries to correct herself. "When I'm with you, I don't feel like myself," she blinks in his direction, and his expression gets hard. Note to self , she sucks at explaining her feelings. That much about her career of a writer. "I let you kiss me in a certain way and touch me.. it make feel ," there's a bundle of words in her throat, but she doesn't know which one to choose, "A slut," she finally says without thinking.

Something flashes inside of his eyes so fast she doesn't even have time to think which emotion he's going through.

"I'm sorry," he says with a husky voice and a rock falls on her heart, "I never meant to make you feel like that," he clears his throat, "I just thought you have healthy sexual appetite, nothing wrong with that."

She frowns. She never thought about it like that. She always over analyzed it, trying to find a meaning behind it. She never thought it could be as simple as that. She's just a human being, with needs all human beings have.

She tucks her hair behind her ear. "I thought it's too early."

"If you allow it to yourself, it's never too early. Especially if it feels right ."

Oh, it felt right. It felt more than right. She's been so sure of it.

When did he become so smart?

"You see, with you, it always felt right. You're the only girl with whom it had felt right," he looks at her, and she's looking at him with a surprised look on her face, "I guess my point is," he struggles with words, his eyes wandering over her face, trying to catch glimpse of any other emotion but surprise on her face, "My point is I really fucking like yo u," he admits.

Elena chuckles, and now surprise appears on his face.

To hell with it all.

"I really fucking like you too," she admits.

Surprise on his face is replaced by happiness, so he leans his head and plants a kiss on her lips. His hand touches her arms, and he feels the coldness of her skin.

"You're cold," he exclaims when he pulls his lips from hers.

She hasn't even noticed how cold she is until he had mentioned it.

He takes his jacket off and places it around her shoulders. She smiles at him thankfully.

"There's something else I wanted to ask you," she can detect nervousness on his face again.

"So ask," she encourages him.

"See, since I really like you," he start s mumbling nervously, "And I don't want you to feel bad about yourself because you enjoy my hands on your body," he smirks, and she rolls her eyes, "So, what I' m trying to ask you," he wiggles his lips and then rolls his eyes out of frustration, "Elena, would you like to be my girlfriend?"

He looks at her hopefully, and she tries her best to stay serious.

"I don't know Stefan, I'll have to think about it."

"Of course, yeah, take your time," he says a little bit disappointed.

When she can't hold it anymore, she bursts into laughter. "I'm fucking with you Salvatore," she puts her open palm over her mouth, giggling, "Yes, Stefan," she says when she stops herself, "I'll be your girlfriend."

He cocks his eyebrow in her direction. " Well, isn't that peachy."

"Mhm," she stands up, "Now, you should take your girlfriend back to the town and buy her a burger or she will starve to death."

"Remember when we were six and I told you girls are like Tamagotchi?" he follows her lead, "Well, I guess I've been right."

She smacks him on the shoulder.

"I thought violence doesn't come before marriage!" he exclaims, rubbing his bare arm.

"We like to break the rules," she hums. "Stefan?"

"Yes?"

"When we climb up the hill, will you be so kind to roll me down it? My legs hurt," she whines.

He catches up with her, puts his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. "Darling, I'll carry you if I have to."

* * *

**AN: Thank you for your reviews, all of you have been incredibly sweet :') I hope you're still enjoying this story!**


	19. Chapter 19

By now, the whole school knew the two of them are dating. Everyone were talking about it, murmuring behind their backs as they walked down the school hallways, acting very childish about it all together.

Everyone were surprised upon hearing Stefan is in a relationship. In a relationship with Elena, who's basically a definition of nobody. Why should that matter? Why does it matter? If she matters to him enough to call her his girlfriend, shouldn't that be the only thing that matters? Since when did real life turn into a cheesy teenage chick flick?

She tried not to let things get the best of her. She tried to ignore the rumors and talks and just enjoy her time with Stefan. He had no problems with what people are whispering behind their back since he's used to it. He's used to all the ugly rumors and made up facts, so he had advised her to just let it go. To become deaf to their words, because they will stop as soon as something else comes along. They're a fresh topic now, and people don't have anything better to do.

Elena realized how better it is to be irrelevant in high school. People just leave you alone. They don't care about what you do and who you're with.

The only people who weren't surprised by their relationship are Rebekah and Caroline. Rebekah said she had seen it coming long before either of them did, and Caroline simply squealed out of joy. Bonnie smiled wearily, but had no clear reaction or opinion when it comes to their relationship. It made Elena extremely sad, the fact her friend can't be happy for her, even if she thinks she's taking the wrong turn. She wished Bonnie could at least pretend she's happy, because the truth is, during her relationship with Stefan, even before they became an item, is the happiest she's been in a very long time.

Sure, she's been frustrated and angry and those emotions often lead to tears, but that doesn't mean she hasn't been happy. Every bit of frustration and anger she felt were only for a moment, because the fact she was happy was stronger than any other feeling. She was only sad it took her so long to realize it, she could have had this much sooner.

This beautiful thing the two of them have.

It's been only a week since they became an item, but to her, it seems like it's been much longer. Maybe a month, or more. Sometimes she has a feeling they were like this since forever.

Kisses feel so natural, like they've been kissing each other for a very long time. It became a routine as much as it is a pleasure. Kissing him is like walking into an ocean. When their lips come close, when her lips are lingering above his, it's like keeping your foot above the shallow part of the water. Where the water is clear and light blue, like the sky. Where you can see how the spot you're going to step on looks like. You can feel the coldness of the water tickling the sole of your foot. And then, you step in, and you shiver. Your whole body is cold, and the change in your body temperature is shocking. That's like when their lips collide. When they start kissing, it's like when you keep stepping deeper into the water. You want to run out of there because your feet are sinking into the sand under you and you feel so cold, you're freezing. That's how the beginning of their kiss feels, like they're going to drown in each other. Every instinct of survival is telling them to stop whatever they're doing because their bodies can't handle that kind of a shock, even if it is pleasurable. Aren't the most pleasurable vices harmful? Every fiber of their being is telling them to continue, because once you're in the water, you only keep looking forward. Because the shore seems so far away, and the ocean is so wide, so everything seems so close. That's when you dive in. You just give up and dive into the water, and once you do, you don't feel cold anymore. You feel warm. You feel like you never want to leave. That's how they feel while kissing. So comfortable, so natural, it feels so right. Like kissing each other is what they've supposed to be doing all along. Once they start, they don't want to stop. Even when the lack of air becomes a problem.

Their hugs are comforting, and he loves to tease her with the tips of his fingers. He likes dragging her to the edge, so close, and then pulling her back. He knows how to do it perfectly, and sometimes she thinks he has more control over her body than she does.

To her surprise, he slipped into the boyfriend role pretty easily. He has no problems with expressing his feelings to her anymore. He kisses her every time he sees her, he also kisses her goodbye. He always reaches for her hand while they're walking together, or puts his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. Her head falls perfectly into the depth between his neck and shoulder, like it's made for her head to fit. He carries her books and compliments her whenever he gets the chance. He makes her laugh and giggle. She never used to giggle. He still makes her blush. He teases her, and she teases him back.

"Hey there beautiful," he puts his open palms on her cheeks, pulling her face closer to his, before he plants a small, delicious peck on her lips. He finds her next to her locker, talking to Caroline, who squeaks when Stefan calls her by a nickname he has saved only for her.

"Hello boyfriend," Elena bites her lower lip, still testing the word. He smiles at her, like he's proud of being called her boyfriend.

"You two are adorable," Elena notices Rebekah standing behind Stefan, looking at her nails, "I'm going to puke," she rolls her eyes.

Stefan remembers hers and Damon's honeymoon phase. It was a little bit different than his and Elena's. It involved more.. physical activity. To his surprise, sex with Elena was the last thing on his mind. Not that he didn't want it, of course he did. But what he had with her was new and different. He knew what sex is like. He doesn't know what every other aspect of the relationship is like.

"You're going to puke?" Stefan puts his arm around Elena's shoulders, pulling her closer to him, cocking his eyebrow at Rebekah, "Shall I remind you that I'm the one who has to put up with your and Damon's sex noises?" he shakes his head in disgust at the memory fresh in his mind. Like it was yesterday.

Oh wait. It was yesterday.

Shock appears on Rebekah's face.

_"Yes Damon, right there, harder Damon, oh my you're so good,"_ he mimics her voice, teasing her, before she grunts and starts kicking his free arm.

Elena covers her mouth with her hand, laughing silently. Stefan and Rebekah bicker for few minutes before Rebekah makes him admit she doesn't sound like that at all.

"What are you up to now?" Stefan concentrates on Elena again.

"I'm having lunch with Caroline and Bonnie," she replies.

"Oh," he says, disappointed. "We still on for today?"

She nods in confirmation. She's supposed to help him study for their final Chemistry exam. "I'll be at your place at 5pm sharp," she gets on her toes and kisses him on the lips before she walks away with Caroline.

That ass, he thinks to himself.

* * *

"Are you guys free this afternoon?" Bonnie asks while popping a french fry into her mouth, "I thought we could catch a movie."

"I'm free as a bird," Caroline smiles brightly.

Elena frowns. "I told Stefan I would help him with Chemistry today," Elena looks at her friends sympathetically.

"Can't he study by his own?" Bonnie frowns angrily, bringing her eyebrows closer together.

Caroline laughs. "The whole point of having a girlfriend is that you don't have to," Caroline makes quotation marks with her fingers, "study alone anymore."

Elena rolls her eyes. "When I say study, I really am referring to studying," she smiles at Caroline.

"Everyone can learn Chemistry on their own," Bonnie snaps.

Elena tries to stay calm. "Some people can't, they need extra help," she shrugs it off, "I like helping others. Plus, it will do me good as well, the exam is in few days time and I haven't even started."

Bonnie acts like she hasn't heard a thing Elena said. "So, are you going to be one of those girls who choose their boyfriend over their friends?"

Elena slowly starts to lose her cool. "Bonnie, how many times you blew me off for Jeremy?" Elena asks, "We can watch a movie some other day," she says, not seeing where the big deal is.

Bonnie shakes her head frustrated. "It's not about the movie!"

"Do you have something against Stefan?" she asks.

"No!" Bonnie exclaims, "Yes!" she corrects herself, "I mean no, I have a problem with how he treated you!"

"Bonnie.." Caroline says her name as a warning.

"No," Elena hisses through her teeth, "Let her finish."

"Did you forget how you felt the first time he left you? Because you act like you did."

"Of course I haven't," Elena replies honestly.

"You were a freaking mess. You lost your mom, and then you lost him, and he had no fucks to give," Bonnie lowers her voice so no one can hear her.

"I remember, Bonnie," she hisses again, Bonnie's words inflicting her pain. Caroline puts her hand on Elena's knee, for support.

"How can you be with him then?"

"I want to be with him," Elena says determined, "What am I supposed to do?"

"You are supposed not to have feelings for him!"

Elena's eyes widen in shock. "He makes me feel better than anything else in this world. He makes me glad I'm alive. He makes me want to live. How do you propose I give up on that?" she asks surprisingly calm.

Bonnie shakes her head. "He's only going to hurt you again."

"You're hurting me!" Elena says through tears.

"Stop!" Caroline says desperately.

"Remember when you told me about you and Jeremy?" Elena swallows, "Remember how scared you were I will overreact, that I won't accept what the two of you have?"

Bonnie nods at the memory, lowering her look.

"Do you remember what I told you?"

"You can't help who you fall for," Bonnie's voice is dry.

"I was happy for you."

"Yes, you were."

"So, do you think you can be happy for me? Do you think you can at least try?"

Bonnie raises her look, locking her eyes on Elena's.

After few seconds she replies, "Yes."

* * *

He kisses her cheek. The lines of her face stiff into a smile, and he can feel it under his lips. He kisses the left corner of her lip, and her smile becomes wider. He smiles as well. He plants a peck on her jaw, and then goes down her neck.

"Stefan," she warns him, "You're not going to learn Chemistry like this," she barely finds strength to object to his actions, since they're much more pleasurable than studying.

He groans.

"Stef," she calls him, the rest of his name getting lost with her breath as he finds that one spot on her neck which sends pleasurable shivers down her whole body, "We have to study," she makes a murmur of words.

"Words on paper make no sense to me," he complains, his lips still on her neck, "This makes more sense," he puts his arms around her, falling down and pulling her with himself, "This is chemistry," he wraps his arms around her waist and presses his lips harder on her neck.

"Mhmmm," she moans, losing all of the strength to object to his words.

She spreads her legs and puts each of them around his body, which allows her to sit on him. He puts his hands on her hips, folding them gently, and she moans into his mouth. Her hands rest on his shoulders, making her chest linger above his.

His hands go down her ass, and once they settle in, she can feel him smiling.

Her whole body becomes hot. All she wants to do is to get out of her clothes. And at the same time, that's the last thing she wants to do.

Their kisses become deeper, wetter, making it harder to breathe.

His hands move under her shirt, tracing the line of her bra.

Her upper body becomes tingly, like she's pressing onto sharp point of a torn.

She also feels pain, like edges of a paper are cutting into her skin.

She never knew pain can be pleasurable.

She never knew the hard feeling in her chest could only make her feel like she doesn't want any weight lifted off it.

She never wanted to lose her breath before.

Her arms give up on her, and she falls on him, his hands still under her shirt. She pulls her fingers through his hair at the moment he cups her chest.

She gasps a little, since the feeling is unknown.

Matt has never done it. No one else has ever done it.

She decides it feels good so she lets him continue.

Her body starts grinning with his. She can feel his solid stomach under hers. He squeezes her chest, but it doesn't feel the same like when he squeezes her ass. When he squeezes her ass, he does it roughly, so she can feel his fingers in her flesh. This feels more like he's massaging her.

"I think we should stop," she says as she detaches her lips from his.

He exhales. "Yeah."

She rolls off of him, and puts her head on his chest.

She knew where this would lead. She didn't want it to. Not now, not like this.

"Is everything okay?" he asks while playing with her hair.

"Yes," she answers.

"Just something Bonnie said," she continues after few minutes of silence.

"Oh?" he swallows.

"She said you will hurt me again."

"I would never hurt you."

"Doesn't mean you won't."

Silence.

"She said you will leave me again."

"Elena, if I ever leave you again, you have my permission to set me on fire," he says seriously, "Better yet, I'm going to set myself on fire."

She chuckles. "I know you're going to one day."

"Never."

"We're 18. This is the beginning of our lives, not the end."

"I said never."

She sighs. She doesn't want to argue with him. She feels too comfortable to argue.

"Unless I find a way to detach you from your ass."

"What?" she asks confused.

"I would never leave your ass."

Elena hits him on the chest, and when he yelps, she chuckles.

They lie in there in silence. Elena almost falls asleep on his chest, but the racket coming from downstairs shakes her up. She can feel Stefan's chest stiffen when they hear voices coming from downstairs. His breathing becomes faster and harder, and he squeezes her closer to him. His fingertips fall into her skin.

She doesn't know if he's trying to keep her safe, or is she making him feel safe. Or both.

The voices become louder. Elena tries to recognize them. She can tell it's not Damon. She remembers Damon can be loud, but his voice is not as rough.

"I thought your parents are not home," it must be his parents, but she wants his confirmation nevertheless.

"Th - they weren't supposed to b - be," he stutters. She can hear him swallow.

She tries to recognize what they're talking about, yelling about, but she can't. They talk far too fast and far too loud for her to recognize any of the words.

"Are they often like this?" she asks.

"Yes," he admits, and then the silence continues. At the room at least.

There's screaming and shattering downstairs. Stefan trembles, and as he does, so does Elena.

"They weren't always like this, you know?" he starts without her having to ask anything. Guess that's what people do in a relationship. They share, because they want the other person to know. They don't want to keep secrets. "It started a little after my dad got his promotion, I think. I was 10 or so when I heard them fighting for the first time. I woke up, thirsty, so I decided to go downstairs to get myself a glass of water. When I came to the hallway, I heard them yelling. When I approached the stairs, the voices became louder. I can't ever remember what they were saying, I wasn't there for too long. The next thing I knew Damon was dragging me back to my bed. He wasn't angry, he was worried more than anything else. He told me it's okay, that sometimes parents fight, and that it won't happen again."

Elena imagines a ten year old Stefan sitting on the top of the stairs in his blue race car pajamas, listening to his parents scream at each other.

"It happened again, though. The fights became more frequent, more louder, more aggressive. I often heard my mom tell my dad to stop yelling, that he'll wake up the kids, but as we grew older, they stopped caring about us hearing what they have to say to each other," a painful laugh escapes his throat, "My dad was saying this family is holding him back, and my mom was asking him time after time why doesn't he leave then, that she never wanted this in the first place. Once I asked her why doesn't she just leave him and she told me _'Love Stefan, love makes you do stupid things, like makes you stay when you want to run'_."

Elena swallows a sob. "Is that why you were so skeptical about relationships?"

His fingers get tangled in her hair. "No," he shakes his head, "Well, it probably had some influence on me, but it didn't make me stop wanting things. I didn't give up on love or relationships all together, I just thought if two adults can't make it work, how could two kids ever possibly make it?"

"Oh."

She said. She could understand that.

"I don't think that anymore, obviously."

She smiles and raises her head to look at him.

"Obviously," she says before her lips fall on his.

* * *

**AN: I do not know how many chapters this story is going to have. All depends on how many ideas I get :)**


	20. Chapter 20

Elena never thought she will be sitting among the popular crowd during lunch time. Popular table, by every definition, was like any other table in the cafeteria, only it was already reserved for the popular crowd. Aunt Jenna told her it's been like that since she was in high school. Two joined tables in the middle of the room with the same grey, dirty plastic and same uncomfortable chairs, like any other table there. And still, everyone were looking at it as if it were a throne, like they would sell their soul to sit by it, just once in their life. No one ever dared to sit there without an invitation, though. And unless you're a perky cheerleader or a hot jock, you didn't get an invitation.

Caroline told her stories, since she's been there with Tyler few times, but overall, she felt uncomfortable there. Everyone are staring at you while you eat, including the females who don't eat anything. They are looking at you like you just murdered someone in front of their eyes, and once, Kayla, one of the cheerleaders, told her she's murdering her good figure with every bite she takes. So Caroline rather had lunch with the Bonnie and Elena, where you could eat whatever you wanted to eat, without everyone staring at you like you just won the lottery.

Elena never understood other people's fascination by it, until she realized she's fascinated by it herself. She started wondering what they talk about during lunch, do they talk at all or do they just criticize other people? What do they eat, if they eat at all? Is popular lunch like every other lunch?

She got a chance to find out when Stefan asked her to have lunch with them. Bonnie was skipping school with Jeremy, doing things Elena would rather not think about, so she was able to persuade Caroline to go as well.

She found out the popular lunch table was like every other table. They ate, talked, joked. They accepted her pretty quickly. It's like being Stefan's girlfriend changed everything. One minute she was no one, and when he took her hand in his, everyone started acting like she's been their friend for years. They included her in their discussions, asking her has she seen this or heard that, suddenly caring about her opinion. They were like a pack of wild animals, helpless without their leader.

Stefan held his arm around Elena's shoulders, talking to one of the guys. Elena was leaning closer to Stefan, drowning in his embrace, discussing the Prom with Caroline and Rebekah. Rebekah expressed her fear Damon won't agree to come to the dance if she asks him.

"Stefan," a loud female voice said his name through a moan. Everyone stopped talking and raised their heads to look at Katherine who was standing on the left side of the table, her open palms pressing on the surface of the it. She was leaning a little, puckering her lips. Stefan looked at her curiously, waiting to see what does she want from him, tightening his hold on Elena since she started backing away. "Are we still on for tonight?" a delicious grin appeared on her face.

Her shiny brown curls were falling around her face, bouncing on her shoulders. Her grin was seductive.

Stefan swallowed hard. He knew exactly what she was talking about. It was Friday, their usual day for certain physical activities.

"Katherine," he said her name like a warning, still keeping his arm around Elena's shoulders, "I'm with Elena now," he looked at her significantly.

Katherine's brows furrowed. Everyone's eyes were on her, but she did not care. It's like she hasn't even noticed. Maybe she's used to it. If everyone kept looking at Elena like that, she would feel uncomfortable, for sure.

"Oh yes," Katherine says calmly, like it doesn't concern her much, "I've heard something about the two of you playing house," she says with a mocking tone of voice, smirking. "Anyway, I'm not asking you to be my baby's daddy, I want only one thing from you," her voice became more silent when she reached the end of the sentence.

It made Elena's blood boil.

"Katherine," Stefan repeated her name one more time, a little bit annoyed by now, "Like I said, I'm in a relationship now," he tried to make it more clear to her, but the word relationship only made Katherine chuckle.

No one took Stefan's relationship seriously, and it made Elena incredibly angry, how no one respected what they have. Even though she was aware they have a perfectly good reason not to believe in it.

"So, what are you saying?" Katherine asks, playing dumb. Or maybe she's really dumb.

"He's saying he doesn't want to fuck you anymore," Elena snaps at her, and now everyone move their looks to Elena.

She was red in her face, her eyes wide open, locked on Katherine's surprised face. Stefan slowly turns his head around and looks at her surprised. He has never seen her like this.

She has never seen herself like this either, but Katherine was getting on her last nerves. She felt like she's going to explode if she doesn't say something. There was this stream of power in her head, making her uncomfortable in her own skin, making her grit her teeth to every word Katherine directed to Stefan. It's like she's.. jealous.

From the look on other people's faces it's clear to her no one talks to Katherine in this way.

Katherine regains her composure pretty quickly, though, a smirk reappearing on her face.

"Well," she hisses through her teeth, making everyone by the table look back at her, "If he doesn't get it from me, who is he going to get it from?" she enjoys as Elena's face washes in confusion and shame, "It's not like he's getting any from you," she says through a laugh, pushing herself away from the table and crosses her arms on her chest, "I know how Stefan looks when he's sexually satisfied, and he's nowhere near looking as happy as he used to," she continues, knowing her words are hurting Elena.

Elena's cheeks cover in blush. Is it really that obvious? Does Stefan really look so unhappy? Is he unhappy?

She feels like all of the eyes are back on her, but she doesn't have anything to say. Why doesn't Stefan say anything? Why isn't he defending her?

Defending her from what? The truth?

"Maybe Elena has more to offer than sex," Rebekah finally says.

Elena looks at her and shoots her a thankful look, and Rebekah smiles at her warmly in return.

"Yeah, maybe," Katherine replies smugly.

Maybe no one talks to Katherine like this, but not even Katherine has enough strength to snap back at Rebekah.

It's funny how their group works. There are few people who have the power to say anything they want, and then there are those who are not treated better by their so called friends than the outsiders.

Katherine leans over the table again, but this time her eyes lock on Elena's. "When he calls me, I'm not going to be surprised," she tells Elena with a serious, straight face, "And something is telling me you won't be either."

* * *

"Elena!" Rebekah yells after her.

Elena turns around and tries to force a smile to a waving Rebekah who is only few feet away from her. She knows her cheeks are still red and puffy, because she can feel them swelling under her eyes. The inside of her mouth is burning, and she has a feeling she's going to spit fire at anyone who says something she's not ready to hear.

Rebekah smiles at her as she stops herself in front of Elena.

She wiggles her lips, and Elena realizes Rebekah has trouble with saying something.

"Did you want to talk to me about something?" Elena asks, as warm as she can, trying not to sound rude. Because she really doesn't feel like talking.

"Yes, actually," Rebekah keeps wiggling her lips, her lower lip constantly collapsing with the upper one, hiding it, "I know I'm Stefan's friend, but I'd like you to think of me as your friend as well," Rebekah's eyes glimmer, and Elena only then realizes how beautifully blue her eyes are. They're different shade from Damon's. Damon's eyes are very piercing, when he looks at you, you have a feeling he's seeing something you're not aware you decided to show to the world. Like he's seeing right through you. But Rebekah's eyes are very comforting, and friendly. There's something soothing about them, and there's a certain amount of vulnerability inside of them. "And I'm not saying this only because you two are together now, I'm saying this because I genuinely like you."

Elena was glad to hear that, because she really liked Rebekah as well. "Thank you," she replied, her smile genuine this time.

"You know, what Katherine said, she did it only to annoy you," Rebekah spits out, her dislike of Katherine obvious."

"You don't like her very much, do you?" Elena laughs lightly as both of them start walking down the hall.

"I hate how she thinks she's better than everyone."

"So why are you still friends with her then?" Elena frowns. She could never be friends with someone she dislikes that much.

"Because every now and then she does something that makes me believe she has a heart."

Elena looks at Rebekah. Katherine? A heart? Real human heart? Sounds almost impossible.

"Were her and Stefan ever - "

"Serious?" Rebekah interrupts her, and Elena nods to confirm. "No, only sex. He's never been serious with someone until now," she says, making Elena smile.

Somehow that makes her feel special. Happy.

"Elena," she says her name uncomfortable, stopping, "I really don't want to pry," Elena can sense a but coming, "But," and there it is, "How come you still haven't slept together?" she looks at Elena, little afraid of her reaction.

If it were anyone else, Elena would probably murder them in place. But Rebekah was so nice, she would hate being unpleasant to her, so she tries to keep a warm face.

"I do not know," she says truthfully, trying to find a reason, an explanation good enough, "Every time we are close to it, I stop, and he doesn't seem to complain," she shrugs.

Rebekah ponders on that for a moment. "Because he's scared," she whispers, like she's telling her a secret. In a way, she is.

"Scared?" Elena furrows her brows in disbelief.

Rebekah nods, her eyes wide open. "You see, he knows how to have sex with a woman. He's an expert at sneaking out of the room and never returning the calls. But with you," she prolongs those three words, "You will be there when he wakes up. And you will get a chance to do it all over again. And I think that scares him. Maybe he thinks he's going to disappoint you."

"I thought Stefan Salvatore doesn't disappoint in bed," she laughs, trying to keep the conversation light.

"It's not about the sex," Rebekah shakes her head, "He thinks you're going to be disappointed in him, as a person."

"Why didn't he tell me all of this?" Elena frowns, her nostrils widening in furry.

"It takes time for Stefan to realize how he feels," Rebekah smiles warmly, "And it takes even more time for him to say how he feels."

Elena nods in understanding. She knows this. She knows he's not the one to talk about feelings much, even though he's improving.

"When it comes to this, I think you will have to be the strong one," Rebekah squeezes Elena's arm lightly with a smile on her face.

Strong is one thing she knows how to be. But how to be strong when it comes to Stefan, when he's her only weakness?

* * *

"So, umm," Elena mumbles as she grabs the handle of Stefan's car, "I'll see you tomorrow, thanks for the ride home," she tells him so casually, like he's just only of the boys from school, she tells him so coldly she can feel the ice dripping off her lips. She barely even looked at him, only with the corner of her eye.

At the moment she wanted to open the door he grabbed her by the wrist. Lightly, but she still felt like he chained her to himself. Like her skin is burning where he's holding her, and not in a good way.

She looks at him, and there's a half smile on his face. "Don't I even get a kiss?" he asks, and she's angry he can't see there's something wrong. Or maybe he can, but he's just playing dumb, to avoid the talk about what happened today during lunch. To talk about what that means for them and how they feel about it.

"Sure," she does her best to force a smile on her face. She leans over to him and gives him a small, quick peck on the lips. It wasn't even a peck. She barely scraped her lips against his.

"Elena," he says her name desperately, his voice hollow, "Is there something wrong?" he stops her from leaving the car again.

Elena raises her eyebrow, a little frustrated. "Have you been present during lunch or?" she asks him, her voice unreadable. He can't tell is she angry or hurt or annoyed.

"It's just Katherine.." he says, like it's a valid excuse. Is it how it's going to be from now on? Every time she makes a comment it will be excused with _"It's just Katherine..?"_

"Are you unhappy with me?" she asks, her voice jumping.

"What?" he asks in disbelief, "Of course not," he replies, almost sounding offended she would even ask him such a question. "If I were unhappy with you I wouldn't be here right now."

He has a point. And she hates when he has a point.

"What's keeping you?" she regrets the question as soon as it comes out of her mouth.

He glares at her in disbelief. "Elena.." he pleads, dreading of the conversation she wants them to have.

"I mean, it's not sex," she continues despite his pleading.

"God Elena, it's not about sex," he laughs out of frustration.

"You don't want to have sex with me?" she asks, sounding insulted.

He buries his face in his palms. "Of course I do," he loses his breath somewhere in the middle of the sentence.

He tries to figure her out. First she's mad because she thinks he only wants sex from her, and now she's mad because she thinks he doesn't want sex from her.

"I want a list," she crosses her arms over her chest.

"A list?" he asks confused, raising his head from his hands.

"A list of girls you've been with," she says determined.

"You want me to write down every girl I've ever had sex with?"

She turns her head to him. "Yes, will that be a problem for you?"

He's been sexually active since he's been 14. That's four years of having sex. At least once a week. Only few times with the same girl. That's.. oh God.

"Can I just point out all of the thousand reasons why I think this is a bad idea?" he looks at her desperately, "I can't change my past."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm only asking you to share it with me," she says before she leaves the car.

* * *

**AN: Thank you for your reviews, all of you are really wonderful and make me happy I decided to write this story.**


	21. Chapter 21

Elena came over to Stefan's place around eight in the evening, a little bit after her dad flew back to the field. She thought about inviting him over to her house, but Jeremy already made plans with Bonnie, since her house was full for a change.

Maybe it's better that way. Her house made her uncomfortable every time her dad left. She hated how he kept leaving over and over and over again, and she feared that one of those times he won't come back. She wanted to talk to Stefan with a clear head.

She didn't want to create any more bad memories in the house, either, in case something goes wrong. She had enough of those for a lifetime.

As she pulled over in front of his house, she realized how stupid she was. How wrong she was, asking from him to do what she asked from him to do.

She knew Stefan. She knew he's been with many girls before her, and there probably will be many girls after her, and she accepted that. She tried to concentrate on who he is at the present time, how he's with her, and how he hasn't given her any reason to worry so far.

But every time someone pointed it out, she would feel this irrational jealousy, a feeling that doesn't even make sense. They weren't even friends back then. They were more of a frenemies. She knows she can't change who he was or who he has been with, and neither can he, no matter how much he tries. You can't change the past.

Maybe she's been jealous because something has been preventing her from being with him in that way. Or maybe him being with so many girls is what has been preventing her, and she wasn't even aware of it.

Whatever it was, it had to stop, because she knew it's going to ruin them. And she didn't want that.

She got out of her car and walked over to his front door, ringing the doorbell. He opened her in a matter of seconds, a forced smile lingering on his lips, to let her in. He hasn't even tried to kiss her, and as much as it had stung, she understood why. He was probably afraid she will explode if he tries to make a physical contact with her.

He leads her to kitchen and offers her something to drink. She says she doesn't want anything even though her throat is dry.

"Here," she pulls a folded piece of paper out of the pocket of her jeans and hands it to him.

"What's this?" he frowns as he takes the paper out of her hands.

"The list of guys I've been with," she says, and it makes her throat burn.

He raises his frowning look from the paper to her. "I never asked you to do this," he says, slowly unfolding the paper with his fingers.

"I know," she sucks in some air, trying to cool down her throat, "I only thought it's fair since I asked the same from you," she can feel the tears piercing through her eyes.

He exhales a small stream of icy air as he unfolds the small paper in his hands. His fingertips go over the edges of the paper, and he swallows.

Before he unfolds it completely, out of his back pocket he pulls his own paper. When he feels it in between his fingers, he realizes how much thicker his paper is than hers. Something gets stuck in his throat.

"Darling, you know this doesn't change anything?" he asks her before he hands her the paper. She grabs the paper hungrily, her eyes never leaving his. "Those girls, they don't mean anything to me. They never did."

Somehow, that doesn't make her feel better. Somehow, it only makes her feel worse.

"I know," she says nevertheless.

When she feels the thickness of the paper in between her fingers, she freezes. She starts unfolding it, though. She keeps her eyes locked on his face as he unfolds the paper completely and his look falls down on it.

His eyes widen in disbelief. There's only one name down there. Only one name.

Matt Donovan. Lucky bastard.

He has no idea why is he so struck by it. It shouldn't come as a surprise to him. Elena openly told him she's been in only one relationship, and she's not a kind of a girl who would ever sleep with anyone but a guy with whom she's in a relationship with.

He raises his look and finds hers already locked on his face. He tries to hide his disbelief, but feels like he doesn't succeed in doing so. His look falls on almost unfolded paper in her hands, and all of a sudden he feels.. bad. Worse. The worst.

Like this is never going to work. They're too different. She's never going to be able to get over that list. She's never going to be able to get over his past, even if he swears doing things like that is the last thing on his mind at the moment.

The scary thing is that it's true. Even if she does leave him, he can't see himself going to his old ways. And if he can't do that, and if he can't be with her either, what is he supposed to do?

He wants to run. He wants to disappear before her look falls down on that paper. He doesn't want to face the disappointment on her face.

But it's like someone glued his feet to the floor.

He's not worthy of her. He's only going to corrupt her.

He looks at her face carefully, and he sees a child. The same girl he knew all those years ago. She's taller, and curvier, and her hair is longer, but that look in her eyes. They way her eyes are wandering over his face curiously, like she's seeing him for the first time. Like she's only getting to know the world. That look. How did she manage to keep that look? That childlike curiosity.

He wanted her to keep looking at him like that, like she's amazed by what she's seeing in him. He doesn't want that look to be replaced by the look of disgust.

She deserves more. She's too pure, too good, too everything for him.

He could never deserve her, even if he lived thousand more lives.

She finally unfolds the piece of paper completely, and her look falls down on it. She scatters through the page, and her lips part slightly. She lets out a small stream of hot air that got stuck in her throat earlier.

"When did you.. " she finds herself unable to finish he sentence.

"14," he answers like he knows what she wants to ask.

"That's.." she doesn't raise her look from the paper, "Very young."

This is it. This is the part where he loses her.

"Who was your first?" she swallows, looking at the names on the list. There were too many of them. Far too many. 10 would be too many for her, but she knew there's more than 10.

"Melanie," he says her name without any emotion at all. It's not like she was desperately in love with Matt when she slept with him. But she felt for him, she cared for him. It was a nice memory, something she gets to hold onto. "Summer camp," he gives her more detail, and she can feel his voice is shaking. "There weren't as many of them in the beginning," he says, which makes her raise her head, "But as I grew older, it was easier, they were basically throwing themselves on me," he lowers his look so he doesn't have to make eye contact with her.

She does the same, and her look falls back on the names on the list. There are so many girls from the school. It's not a surprise no one is taking their relationship seriously when he slept with the half of the school.

"Does it make you feel better?" he puts his elbows on the kitchen island, "The list?" he says bitterly after she raises her confused look to him.

She presses her lips together. "No Stefan, it doesn't make me feel better," she huffs.

"Why did you make me write it then?" he asks, slightly annoyed.

The lines of her face relax and her whole weight falls down on her. "I don't know," she shrugs, "To see if you would."

He pulls his fingers through his hair. "That doesn't make any sense," he says, more annoyed than before.

Her cheeks get red out of anger. "Where's the difference, Stefan?" she raises her voice at him.

He looks at her confused. "The difference?" he furrows his brows.

"The difference between me and every girl on this list?" she raises her voice, looking him in the eyes.

She can see anger and pain flash inside of his eyes, and she doesn't know which emotion is more dominant. How will he react?

"The difference?" he asks the same question, but this time with a different tone of the voice. "You want to know the fucking difference?" he yells irritated, pushing himself off the kitchen island, making the blood in her veins freeze. "The difference is that you made me write this fucking useless list, knowing it will only give us more material to argue, and I did it anyway," he starts pacing across the room, never taking his eyes off of her, "Sometimes I think if you told me to throw myself off a bridge, I would, simply because I don't want to let you down, because I don't want to make you sad. It makes no fucking sense and it makes my fucking blood boil, because when it comes to you, I can't think straight. This is what you do to me, you turn me into a mad man. And I relish in every drop of that madness because it seems to make you feel happy and special, and you have no idea how much I love seeing that look on your face, the look of happiness and content. The difference is that I wouldn't write this for anyone else," he takes the paper out of her hands, and she trembles as he does so, not knowing is it out of fear or ecstasy or both. He crumbles the paper in his hand, making a small paper ball out of it. "I give you fucking nicknames and it makes me feel like a five year old, but the look on your face when I call you darling or beautiful makes it worth it," he looks like he lost all of his strength, like he's helpless, like all of the words got lost somewhere in the process, "The difference is that I fucking love you," he says breathlessly.

His look relaxes on her face, while her eyes widen in surprise. She stiffens next to the kitchen counter, clutching her hands to it.

"I love you, Elena," he swallows, scared of the words coming out of his mouth. He never said those words to anyone before. Except maybe when he was younger, but he has no memory of that. "I love the way you twist your hair around your finger, or how you blush every time I compliment you. I love how smart you are, even though it makes me feel like a complete tool sometimes. I love the way you care about people, even the ones you never met. I love how compassionate you are. I love the way you retell me the new episode of your favorite show, even though I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. I love how you can quote a book at any given time. I love the way you think and feel, the way you talk and laugh, the way you walk and touch. I love everything about you, but mostly I love the fact you gave me a chance to love all of those things," he looks at her helplessly, like a scared little boy. Like that boy who so many years ago fell out of her tree house and broke his arm. She loved that boy, even though she was just a child herself.

Now, she loves the man that boy grew up to be, and she loves him with everything she has, even with the child hidden deep inside of her.

"I'm falling in love with you, and there's not anything I can do about it. It makes me scared as hell, but I can't stop falling in love with you. I would keep on falling in love with you even if you froze time and us with it."

Her eyes fill with tears. How could have she been so stupid? She was acting like such an idiot, asking from him such a stupid thing, like making him to write a list of girls he was with, like it's going to change anything.

Like they're going to disappear if she burns the paper with their names on it.

Those girls, they mean nothing. He couldn't even remember the names of some of them.

He doesn't carry them with himself, they're slowly fading from his memory, as quick as they came into his life.

But she's a part of him now, and he will carry her everywhere with himself.

Even 50 years from now, when he's wrinkly and grey, holding some other woman's hand while watching their grandchildren play in the sand, he will remember her and the way she made him feel, because you never forget your first love.

He keeps on looking at her, waiting for her to say something. Anything.

She slowly walks over to him and stands before him, looking into his teary eyes. Eyes full of fear and expectation.

"You know what, Stefan?" she puts her open palms on his chest, holding his look with hers, "I fucking love you too," a smile appears on her face, which makes him smile as well.

She gets on her toes and presses her lips against his.

"Umm," she says as she detaches her lips from his, "Are we alone?"

"Yeah, why?" she can feel his hot breath on her lips.

"I was thinking.." she puts her hand on the nape of his neck, "Maybe we could go upstairs, to your room," she pushes herself down on her feet, looking into his eyes, trying to read every emotion he's going through.

"You don't have to," his voice trembles.

"I want to," she says determined, kissing the corner of his lips.

"You sure?"

"As sure as I'll ever be," she says, "Which is 100%, for your information," she smiles, and he smiles after her.

He takes her hand into his and leads her upstairs to his room, even though she knows the way.

He closes the door behind them, and when he turns around, he can see her holding the hem of her shirt already, ready to pull it over her head.

"No, no," he stops her, getting a confused look from her. "Let me do it," he smirks.

She drops her hands and lets him do whatever he wants to do. Before he peels her shirt off her body, he kisses her neck, removes her collar to the side, kissing the tip of her shoulders, and then, in one quick move, he pulls her shirt over her head.

She can't even remember lifting her arms to allow him to do so.

She helps him get his own shirt off. Once he does, the sight in front of her takes her breath away. She has seen him shirtless before, but this time she got a chance to concentrate on his torso especially.

He's freaking hot.

She lowers her lips on his chest and plants a small peck on it.

"You're rock hard," she hisses deliciously.

He frowns. "Already?" he looks down.

She rolls her eyes. "I mean your body," she giggles as she presses her palms onto his chest.

"I work out," she shrugs it off, like it's not a big deal.

"I can see that."

He smirks down at her as he puts his hands on her small waist, pushing her towards the bed. She can feel her legs touching the edge of the bed before she falls down on it. He places himself on top of her, holding his hands next to her head.

He kisses her lips. Then her neck. Her collar bone. Removes the straps of her bra and kisses her exposed shoulders. She reaches for her back and unclutches her bra, removing it from her body. He buries his head into her chest, and she puts her hands on the back of his neck, pulling her fingers up and down it.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs into her skin, his head going down to her stomach, planting kisses around her belly button. His voice makes her skin vibrate, covering it with goosebumps.

She reaches for his jeans and unzips them.

Like a pro, he thinks to himself.

He unzips her jeans as well, pulling them off her legs, while his jeans fall down his. He gets rid off his briefs before he does the same with her panties.

She blushes as she lays there in front of him, completely naked.

She blushes, and he falls in love with her a little bit more than he loved her a minute ago.

She tries to cover herself up, but he stops her, shaking his head.

"Turn the lights off at least, then," her voice jumps a little.

He shakes his head again, throwing the covers on the other side of he bed.

"You can see everything," she swallows those words, saying them so silently she's not even sure she said them at all.

"That's kinda the point," he smiles at her, confirming the words indeed came out from her mouth. "You're incredibly beautiful," he compliments her, and she blushes some more, "I do not understand why would you have a reason to be ashamed of your body," he lowers himself on top of her again, pulling his fingers over her stomach. Then, his fingers stop on a bump, and he remembers. Her scar, the place where the bullet went it, the same place from which they took it out.

"That shouldn't be there," she gulps.

"I don't care."

"I still think we should turn the lights off."

"No. I want to see you. The way your body bends, the way light and shadow play on it as you move, every facial expression you make. I want to see it all."

She could understand that. It was probably a turn on for guys, watching the way women experience pleasure, pleasure they provide them with.

"Okay," she gives in. She freezes because she has no idea what to do next, and he keeps looking at her.

So she pushes him off herself and makes him fall on the bed next to her. She climbs herself on top of him. If he wants to look so much, the least she can do is to provide him with a good show.

His hands instantly fall on her naked hips. She smiles at him, and a huge grin appears on his face.

She places herself on top of him, and bites her lower lip as he fills her from the inside. She gasps a little, so she presses her lips together to stop herself from gasping furthermore.

His ego doesn't need anymore growth.

When she adjusts herself, and when she finds the position she's the most comfortable in, she slowly starts moving on top of him.

His hands start climbing up her body until they finally reach her breasts.

She starts moving faster, quickening her pace.

She wants to keep herself from moaning, but she can't.

So she moans, quietly, and then louder.

When her back start to ache, she lowers her torso on his, letting him do some work now.

He removes his hands from her breasts, since it's an uncomfortable position now, and he places them on her ass. He squeezes her roughly before he starts pounding into her, and she continues moaning loudly.

Her voice is even sweet while she moans, Stefan thinks to himself, surprised he's able to make a valid though at the moment. He doubts he could make a sentence, though.

Then, her whole body stiffens, like a rock. The only reason she knows she's still human is a hot, boiling blood in her veins. The blood in her body is like a flowing river, getting faster and faster with every new wave the splashes against the land. She can feel her own blood splashing against the insides of her body.

Her heart starts pounding wildly. Thump. Thump. Thump. She knows this is not normal, and she wonders what's going on with her. But even though these symptoms point to something bad, they're providing her with extensive pleasure, so her train of thoughts is stopped immediately.

She feels like she's going to explode.

She starts sweating, and her hair is glued to her face and the skin on her back.

Her breath gets lost in her throat before it becomes harder to breathe.

Her mind becomes fuzzy. Foggy. Unreadable. There are no thoughts there.

And then, a splash. An eruption inside of her body.

She relaxes.

But she feels tired as well. He lets go off her and she rolls off of him, on the other side of the bed.

"What," she says while trying to catch her breath, "Was that?" she covers her face with her palms.

"You see, when two people really love each other, they - "

"You're not amusing," she interrupts him in the middle of his sentence, "I don't mean the sex, I mean the feeling," she removes her palms from his face to look at him, "I've never felt like that before," she says as she tries to remember the time when Matt made her feel like that, but she couldn't.

He furrows her brows. "Felt like what?"

"Like I'm going to explode. Like my mind is shutting off."

He chuckles. "You just had an orgasm," he shrugs it off like it's not big deal. Then his face becomes serious, "Wait," he looks at her, his eyes wide in surprise, "Are you trying to tell me you never had an orgasm before?"

She frowns. "I guess not. My sex with Matt was pretty plain. I've never been on top before," she meets his surprised look, "I've felt some pleasure, but never like this."

"Wow," Stefan gasps, "If you weren't my girlfriend, I would tease Matt so much," he grins.

She comes closer to him. "And why won't you tease him now?" she asks with a smile on her face.

He smiles back at her, bringing his face closer to hers. "Because I love you," their noses touch.

"Say it again."

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

* * *

**AN: I hope an "I love you" + sex in one chapter make up for neither in he past 20 of them.**

**Thank you for your reviews, you're all kinds of wonderful.**


	22. Chapter 22

"Tell me," Caroline pleads with a whining tone of voice, pulling Elena by her sleeve. They are sitting on the couch in Elena's living room, preparing themselves to watch a movie. It was some horror Bonnie picked out, something Elena wasn't especially looking forward to. She wasn't a big fan of horror movies, she was more into science fiction, or romance, or a little bit of both. Drama can pass as one of her favorite genres as well.

"I'm not talking about it," Elena shakes her head, a grin present on her face. When Bonnie went to the kitchen to make popcorn and grab soda cans for each of them, Elena got a chance to tell Caroline she slept with Stefan.

It's not that she didn't want to tell Bonnie, she did, Bonnie was her best friend after all. But Bonnie was clear about her feelings towards Stefan, and even though she promised she will try to be happy for them, Elena wasn't sure she will be able to fake happiness when it comes to such a big thing. And Elena was still excited that they finally took a step forward in their relationship, and she didn't want anyone bringing her down. She knew telling Caroline is a safe option because Caroline is excited about almost everyone that's going on around here.

"Elena, I need to know," Caroline whines, clutching herself on the stomach like she's in pain.

"You will survive," Elena laughs at her, self content smile still present on her face.

"You need to know what?" Bonnie appears behind them with a bowl of popcorn in one hand, and three soda cans in the other. She puts everything on the table, glancing at her friends serious face expression.

Elena tries to regain her composure, but all she manages to do is look more awkward while slumping down on the couch. She will have to tell Bonnie, sooner or later. She prefers later. Bonnie looks are her expectantly, there are traces of fear in her eyes.

"Maybe Elena should tell you," Caroline says through a whisper, and Elena shoots her a look. Caroline gives her an encouraging look, before Elena turns her head back to Bonnie and a faint smile appears on her lips.

She takes a deep breath, "I slept with Stefan," she decides it's better to do this quickly than to drag it out.

At first, the expression on Bonnie's face was unreadable. And then, a smile appeared on it. A wide grin, actually. She collapses on the couch between Elena and Caroline, and taps Elena on the knee.

"No way!" her eyes pop out of her skull, her reaction surprising Elena.

"Way!" Caroline answers, clapping with the palms of her hands.

"So.." there's a devilish look on Bonnie's face as she comes closer to Elena, "How big is he?" she raises her eyebrow in her best friends direction.

Elena's mouth falls wide open. "Bonnie!" she shrieks her name in disbelief.

"What?" Bonnie says with a defensive tone of voice, "I have to know are the stories true," she tries to excuse her curiosity.

"That's what I've been saying as well!" Caroline exclaims, throwing her hands in the air.

Elena rolls her eyes at her friends. "The stories are true."

"Yeah, but how much true?" Caroline teases.

Elena exhales a stream of hot air. She knows they're not going to back down, there's no chance they're going to give up on this topic. Caroline never had problems with discussing her sex life, and Elena never had much to discuss about. Elena told Bonnie she doesn't want to know anything about her sex life with her brother unless there's a chance she's going to be an aunt, so they never really talked about it before.

Elena bites her lower lip, bringing her hands into the air. She keeps them collapsed for some time, looking at her friends, and then she starts separating them, slowly. Bonnie and Caroline keep their looks locked on Elena's parting hands, and when she stops, but of their jaws drop.

"That much?" Caroline asks, raising her look from Elena's hands to her blushing face.

Elena turns her look away, thinking she will self combust if she meets one of her friends looks. She can't believe she just told them that.

"So, the stories are more than true," Bonnie says with an easy going tone of voice, trying to diffuse the tension.

Both her and Caroline giggle, which only makes Elena blush more.

"Come on, Elena," Bonnie slaps her arm, "Ease up," she laughs at the way Elena is acting, "It's not like we're going to tell anyone."

Elena raises her look to Bonnie. She hasn't even considered that possibility, her best friends spilling the beans about her sex life to someone else.

"So," Caroline says with a teasing voice, "How was it?" a huge grin appears on her face.

Elena sighs. If she's not going to talk about this with her friends, with whom is she going to talk about it then? Maybe she doesn't feel a need to talk about it now, but one day she might.

She presses her lips together, trying to hide that big smile she can feel creeping on her face.

"Amazing," a word finally pours down her lips, her tone of voice a little more excited than she intended it to be. She knows amazing is not a word good enough to describe how it has been, but there's no other word, really. There's no word good enough. "Apparently, I've never had an orgasm before," she confesses shyly.

Bonnie and Caroline share a confused look.

"But you had sex with Matt," Caroline looks back at Elena, confused.

Elena rolls her eyes. "I'm aware of that, I was there," she chuckles.

"And he never gave you a.." Bonnie asks, sympathy present in her voice. Elena's not sure is it for her, because she never had one, or for Matt, who was never able to give her one.

"I guess not," Elena shrugs before collapsing on the couch. It seems they forgot all about watching the movie, "It was.. nice. With Matt, I mean. I thought that's it."

"How did you two end up having sex anyway?" Caroline asks wearily, since it came out of the blue, and she knows Elena is a type of a person who likes to plan things beforehand.

Elena cringes. "I did something awful," she raises her look to her friends.

"What?" both of them ask at the same time, clearly curious.

Elena sighs. "Remember the incident with Katherine in the cafeteria?" she waits for both of them to confirm that they remember, and once they nod their heads in confirmation, she continues, "Well, that really got me.. furious. So I asked him to write a list of all the girls he's been with," she presses her lips together.

"Oh Elena! You didn't!" Bonnie whines in disbelief.

"What were you thinking?" Caroline gasps, her brows furrowed.

"I wasn't thinking, that's the problem," Elena tries to defend herself, even though she herself knows there's no excuse for what she asked him to do.

"So, did he write it?" Bonnie asks.

Elena nods her head. "I haven't even read it, never wanted to. I never really cared, either," she covers her face with her palms when she remembers what had she put him through, "I was acting like a brainless, dramatic, jealous teenager!" she exclaims angrily, realizing that kind of a behavior is so unlike her.

"Why did he write it in the first place?" Caroline fumes through her teeth.

A smile appears on Elena's lips, lightening her whole face, "Because he loves me," she looks towards her friends.

Their lips part in surprise.

"I guess that's another thing," Elena squeals, "He told me that he loves me."

"No way!" Bonnie repeats once again. It seems that this became her catch phrase.

"Way!" Elena laughs.

"So, Ms. Gilbert," Caroline puts her arms around Elena's knees and looks at her with a giant smile on her face, "What is it like to be in a happy relationship with Stefan Salvatore?"

Elena grins. "Better than you can imagine."

* * *

"I can't believe it," Rebekah kicks Stefan in the leg with the foot under the table, "You told someone you love them before you told me," she crosses her arms across her chest like a little child who was just told there's something they're not allowed to do.

"Is someone jealous?" Stefan mocks her by making a pouting face expression.

Rebekah sighs and turns her look away.

"May I remind you that you're the one who urged me to have a girlfriend in the first place," he cocks his eyebrow in her direction.

"I never urged you to fall in love with her!" Rebekah exclaims, not caring how silly she sounds.

Stefan chuckles at her words.

"Bekah, do you really need to hear those three words to know how I feel about you?" he reaches for her hand, taking the whole matter more seriously once he notices there are real motives in her voice behind all that humorous bickering.

Rebekah turns her head to him and shoots him a surprised look.

"So you said it to Elena because she needed to hear it?" she furrows her brows as he squeezes her hand in his.

"Yes," he answers truthfully, "And because I needed to say it."

A small stream of hot air goes through Rebekah's nostrils. She bends over the table to be closer to him, "This emotionally present Stefan scares me a little," she says seriously.

"Get used to him," he winks at her.

She pulls her hand away from his and sits straight. "You're happy," she states.

He smiles. "I am."

Rebekah has no other choice but to smile as well. "It's a nice look on you." After those words her face adopts a devilish expression, "How was it?" she teases.

"How was what?" he hums, playing dumb.

Rebekah looks around herself, and then locks her eyes on his face. "The sex," she whispers.

Stefan smirks. "Okay," he collapses his hands into a fist, "This is probably the cheesiest thing I'll ever say in my life," he looks at her seriously, "But it's way better with feelings."

Rebekah's eyes widen in shock. A moment of surprise attacks her before a smirk appears on her face. "Sex has nothing to do with feelings, he said," she raises her eyebrow in his direction, "Sex is a completely separate matter from love, he said," she said with his tone of voice, mocking him.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," he chuckles, not responding to her teasing, "I was wrong."

* * *

"Is there something wrong?" Stefan asks Elena when he notices she's checking her phone every few minutes.

"No, why?" she looks at the phone displeased before putting it back into her pocket.

"You look tense," he gets on the floor next to her, where she's doing her homework. He puts his arms around her waist and pulls her closer to him. She leans onto him and puts her head into a well known space between his shoulder and his neck.

"My acceptance letter still hasn't arrived," she closes her eyes, her eyelids heavy, "I told Jeremy to let me know if it does while I'm out of the house."

"It's going to arrive soon," he kisses the top of her head, "I'm sure of it," she can feel a smile forming on his lips while they're pressed on her head.

"How come you're not nervous?" she raises her head to look at him.

He realizes they never had this discussion. About their future and where they might be going. And how there's a chance those two places won't be close. It seemed so early, to think and discuss about those things now when things are finally looking better for them. It might ruin everything.

"I already know where I'm going," he takes her hand into his and intertwines their fingers. His look falls down on their collapsed hands, and from that point of view, everything seems simple.

Like their future is bright, like they have a future at all.

"Oh?" she asks curiously.

Maybe they find a way to work it out. The distance thing. Some couples do.

What if she outgrows him, though? Many people outgrow their high school loves once they go to college. What if she meets some super cute geeky guy who knows her favorite book from the first to the last page and she realizes that's the type of a guy she wants to be with? Not someone who has never even heard about her favorite book.

"Princeton," he says, "We made a deal with the scouts few days before we left for Rome."

"Why haven't you told me anything?"

"Back then? Well, we weren't on such friendly terms at the time. You would probably say that's the only way I could even go to college, or something like that. Afterwards I had some other things on my mind," he squeezes her closer to him with his free hand.

She giggles.

She really has to quit that whole giggling thing.

"I never really thought that, you know? That you're just another stupid jock."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I'm serious," she looks up at him, "I know you're not stupid. You're lazy, but far from stupid. And I know how much you love playing football."

"You really thought like that?" he asks surprised.

She nods, scraping her head against his chest. "Saying you like playing football just because you don't know how to do anything else is like saying I like to write just because I don't know how to do anything else," she shrugs, "We do those things because we enjoy the talent which has been given to us by nature."

He kisses her cheek. "Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you talk like this?" his hand travels under her shirt and caresses the skin of her stomach, tickling her a little.

She giggles again.

"Princeton is on my list as well," she says.

He stops kissing her cheek and becomes serious.

"Really?" he says hopeful.

Is it selfish from him to hope she doesn't get anywhere but there, so he can keep her? So he doesn't have to let her go?

"Second option, actually."

"What's your first?" he asks curiously.

"Harvard," she says through a whisper.

He whistles.

There's not chance she won't get in. She deserves it. If she doesn't get in, there's not a chance for anyone in their school to get in either.

They stay in that position for some time before she asks, "What are you thinking about?"

"How I finally understand my mom, and what she meant by how love makes you stay even when you want to run."

"You want to run?" her body tenses.

He laughs. "Not now," he kisses her cheek, making her relax. "But the other day, while we were fighting in the kitchen. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to be somewhere else. I wanted to run away from the whole situation."

"But you didn't."

"No."

She gets out of him embrace and turns around to face him. "And why is that?"

"Because there was no chance in hell I'm leaving you," he removes a strain of hair that fell across her face.

She puts her arms around his neck and pulls herself closer to him. "I know exactly what you mean."


	23. Chapter 23

"The color is hideous!" Rebekah shrieks when her look falls on the dress in the magazine. The girls gathered around to look at some dresses, since none of them still had their Prom dress. They sprawled the magazines over the table in front of the school to decide on the dress each of them wants, since they had a free period. Elena decided it's time for Bonnie and Caroline to meet Rebekah, and to get to know her better.

She did it despite Stefan begging her not to. As much as he agreed that every person needs an annoying, mouthy, opinionated, 'put-my-nose-where-it-doesn't-belong', perky, blonde best friend, he thought it's a bad idea for those two people to meet. They might rock the balance of the universe or something, he said. It's unnatural.

Of course, Elena thought Rebekah and Caroline will get together just fine, without rocking the universal balance, allowing them all to hang out without awkwardness of the first meeting.

"Totally," Caroline agreed while slurping on her strawberry slushie, "Also, look at the shape of it," her brows furrow, "Looks like a turned up cake gone wrong," she giggles at her own comment, making everyone at the table giggle as well.

"Oh wow," Rebekah exhales after she turns the page, "Elena, this dress would look amazing on you!" she exclaims excitedly, turning the magazine around for Elena to see.

Elena's look falls on a beautiful, long, white dress. It is strapless, the top looking like a corset, just without those nasty strings on the back, which are replaced by the zipper, and there are some decorative crystals on the each side of the top. The dress blends with the top perfectly, lightly falling over the legs of a model in the magazine, covering them whole. It looks so light that Elena thinks you probably can't even feel the material covering your skin.

"Only girls with a completely flat stomach can wear this kind of a dress," Bonnie says.

"And curves. Slightly curved hips and popped out bottom," Caroline adds while studying the dress.

"Like I said, it would look perfect on Elena," Rebekah grins in Elena's direction when she notices the glimmer in her eyes. She's sure Elena loves the dress, and can see herself in it.

"Thank you," Elena responds shyly, still not used to getting compliments when it comes to her appearance. "The price, though," she gasps, "My dad would never give me so much money for a dress," she sighs disappointed.

Rebekah looks at the price circled in a blue bubble, and notices it's a little bit too much for a Prom dress.

"Doesn't matter," Rebekah shrugs it off, "I'm sure we can find something similar in the mall," she winks at Elena.

She never actually thought she will be attending Prom. Caroline would go with Tyler and Bonnie with Jeremy and she didn't want to feel like a third wheel. She was fine with staying at home and watching movies or baking or drowning her sadness in some other way. But now, everything is different. She never actually thought she will have a boyfriend during this part of her life. The thought of attending Prom in a romantic sense of words never even crossed her mind.

But now, when she realized this really is happening, and that she really is going, she got excited over it. Maybe even too excited. Much more excited than she had let other people know.

The dress, the shoes, the hair, everything girls usually care about was on the top of her mind.

Caroline was on the Prom committee so she had let them know, before everyone else, that this years theme is _Wonderland on ice_.

And the dress Rebekah pointed out would look good on her was perfect for the occasion.

Stefan's arms around her waist and his wet torso pressing onto her back pulled her away from her Prom fantasies. They had a football practice for the game tonight.

"Stefan," she says his name through a whine when his sweaty jersey collides with her clothes, "You're all sweaty!" she complains as he plants a wet kiss on her cheek.

Elena notices Tyler does the same to Caroline, but she doesn't complain. She's probably used to it by now.

"Do you want me to take my shirt off?" his arms tighten around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

"No, no, no," she says in a hurry, her eyes widening.

She has this problem. Every time she sees him shirtless, she can't keep her hands, or any other part of her body, away from him. Stefan very well knew that, and he was exploiting that knowledge to the maximum.

He grins, his arms still around her. Then, he raises one of his hands in the air and brings a flower into her view. A daisy. She exhales a silent _aww_ as she takes hold of the flower with her fingers.

"He likes me," she plucks one of the white petals from the flower, "He likes me not," she plucks another one with a smile on her face.

"No, no," she can feel him shaking his head against her back which is when she realizes how wet his hair is, "You're doing it all wrong," he lets go of her waist, and she grunts silently in displeasure because she misses his arms around her, and he gets a hold on the flower.

"Oh?" she asks curiously.

"It should go like this," he whispers into her ear, "He loves me," he plucks one of the petals off the flower, "He loves me a lot," he makes her smile as he plucks the second petal off.

Wine red blush attacks Elena's cheeks as he says those words, before his lips meet the skin of her cheek. She blushes because this is the first time he publicly announced his love for her, and she's not even sure he is aware of it. She's not sure guys pay attention to this kind of stuff, and maybe saying it came naturally to him.

And maybe it's all in her head, since she likes to plan for every moment in order for it to be perfect. Like life is so willing to allow you that. Like life is willing to let you take the control.

"Stefan," Rebekah calls for him, "Before all of us drown in our own puke," she rolls her eyes at how cute they're actually being, "Tell us," she pushes the magazine in front of him, "How do you think this dress would look like on Elena?" she points to the white dress.

Stefan looks at the dress, then at Elena, before a smirk appears on his face. "I think naked would look best on Elena."

Rebekah rolls her eyes, Tyler laughs at his comment, and Elena smacks him on the arm with a threatening look. Maybe she's not ready for this kind of jokes yet. Maybe she will never be.

She turns around and nestles herself in his hug again, indicating that she's not angry. He kisses her cheek to apologize, if there's something to apologize for.

"I think the dress is beautiful," he says after glancing down at it again. "And it would look magnificent on Elena," he looks at her only to catch her furrowing towards her phone again. She sighs and pushes it back into her pocket. "No luck yet?" he asks.

She shakes her head no disappointingly.

"Is there something wrong?" Caroline asks worried.

"No," Elena shrugs her question off, "My acceptance letter just hasn't come yet," she replies silently, lowering her look down.

Stefan was going to Princeton, both Caroline and Tyler to UCLA, Bonnie to Brown. She knew where all of the people she cares about are going to, but she still didn't know where she will be in only few months from now. It was driving her insane, how completely out of her control this was.

"I'm sure it will come soon," Stefan squeezes her closer to him and whispers in her ear.

Elena plants a small kiss on his lips, thanking him for his support. She feels like she would have gone crazy if he hasn't been there for her these past few days.

"Where are you going to?" she asks Rebekah once she realizes she has no idea where Rebekah is going.

"RISD," Rebekah says happily, a wide smile appearing on her face.

"RISD?" Elena asks confused. She doesn't think she ever heard about it.

"Rhode Island School of Design," Stefan fills her in.

Elena's eyes widen. She never thought Rebekah has such sort of a talent.

"I got during the early admissions," she shrugs like it's no big deal, but at the same time she blushes.

"Congratulations," Elena says cheerfully, and truthfully. She really is happy for Rebekah, no matter how annoyed she is with her own problems in that department.

"Did you ask Damon yet?" Stefan directs his question to Rebekah.

She wiggles her lips. "No," she replies silently with a husky voice.

"Bekah, just ask him, I'm sure he won't say no," he uses his supportive voice, one Elena knows very well.

She loves how he is with Rebekah. Sometimes she teases him Rebekah is his substitute girlfriend, minus the sex part.

Her answer makes Elena realize she still hasn't asked Damon to the Prom. Stefan is pretty sure he will say yes. She's not sure is that because he's really sure, or because he's only playing the role of a best friend.

"Man," Tyler finally catches his attention, "We have to reserve the hotel for Florida!"

What the..? Florida? Elena is confused, although she tries to look like she's not. She tries to keep a straight face and her body relaxed.

"Nothing bellow three stars," Caroline warns them, her finger up in the air.

Caroline knows about it too? How come she hasn't mentioned it to her? How come Stefan hasn't?

"Or hostels," Rebekah shivers, "I refuse to share a bathroom with bunch of other people," she huffs.

"We have time," Stefan shrugs off their requests and turns to Elena, "You coming to the game tonight?"

She's too afraid her voice is going to shake if she tries to answer him, so she just slightly nods her head.

"Victory party at my house," Tyler announces before giving Caroline a kiss on the lips.

"You're so sure you're going to win," Caroline cocks her eyebrow in Tyler's direction.

"Of course we are going to win," Stefan secretly taps Elena on the ass before him and Tyler run away towards the locker rooms.

Elena allows her look to linger on Stefan as he moves away from her. Maybe they're not in such a good place she thought they were. Since he's keeping things from her. Well, not as much, since he's talking openly about it, he's simply not filling her in. Maybe he's not making long run plans with her because he doesn't think they will make it. Or maybe he doesn't want his girlfriend lingering around when he's supposed to be with his friends.

She takes her look off of him once she realizes Rebekah had caught her hold on him.

* * *

They won. They freaking won.

Not to mention this was Elena's first football game ever. She never had a reason to be at one until now. She was never much into sports, and Matt never asked her to come. Maybe football isn't as big part of his life as it is of Stefan's. Or maybe he never felt the need to share it with her.

Stefan was a really good player, much better than she initially thought. No wonder he already closed his deal with the scouts, they were probably fighting for him like wild animals. They would be crazy not to.

Caroline warned her to come there ready for the party since they will leave for Tyler's house as soon as the boys leave the locker room. Even though Tyler hurried before everyone else and asked Caroline to come with him.

Elena and Rebekah stayed to wait for Stefan and her brother.

Elena decided to wear a tight, dark, sea blue dress and high heels which weren't as high as most of the girls around the school wore. She popped a black leather jacket on the top of her dress since the afternoon was chilly, and once she felt how cold it is on the bleachers she knew she made the right choice.

When she came to wish Stefan good luck before the game she noticed him licking his lips while looking at her walking towards him, so she considered her outfit as little extra motivation for him to.. score.

"Hey there beautiful," he smiles at her as he walks out of the locker room, with some of the guys right behind him, one of them being Rebekah's brother.

He was wearing dark jeans and gray shirt. Even dressed simple like that he still looked incredibly hot.

He had put his hands on her back and pulled her closer to him. Her open palms landed on his chest and she felt his heart still pounding wildly beneath his skin. His lips reached for her, and once their lips locked she felt him smiling, so she smiled back.

He detaches his lips from hers and brings them closer to her ear. "I want you," he whispers to her, "Now," his hands travel from her back to her ass, and he squeezes her lightly.

"You guys ready?" Rebekah says through a cough.

"How badly do you want me?" Elena whispers back to him, her hands traveling over his chest.

"More than anything," he squeezes her ass again, this time more roughly.

Elena smiles. She reaches for his pocket and takes out his car keys out of it.

"You guys go," Elena tosses the keys to Rebekah, "We'll catch up with you later."

"Are you serious?" Rebekah asks astonished, "You're letting me drive your car?"

Stefan never lets anyone drive his car, especially not someone who's as careless as Rebekah.

The car. Elena.

The car. Naked Elena.

Naked Elena.

"Yes," he swallows.

Rebekah squeaks. "I knew your relationship will benefit me!" she exclaims while walking towards the exit.

When he makes sure she's gone, alongside with everyone he promised he will give them a ride - poor fuckers - he whines, "I can't believe I let Rebekah Mikaelson drive my car! She's fucking British!"

Elena laughs as her hands travel from his chest to his crotch. His eyes lock on hers as her hand becomes still on the bulge on his jeans. "I'll make you forget all about Rebekah and the car," she takes his hand into hers and pulls him with her towards the exit.

"Where are we going?" he asks confused.

"To my car."

He furrows his brows. "I thought we are - "

"Oh, we are," she interrupts him in the middle of the sentence while opening the school door.

Is she saying what he thinks she's saying?

Once they get outside both of them notice it's dark. The night fell sooner than both of them expected. Elena's car is alone in the school parking lot. They basically run towards it. Elena opens the back door and scoots on the back seat, making room for him. He follows her, closing the door. Before he has a chance to look at her, she's already putting her leg on his other side, overstepping him, so she can sit into his lap. She has to duck her head a little since the top of her head is touching the rooftop of the car. She doesn't seem to mind, though, since that doesn't stop her intentions.

She peels her leather jacket off of her arms and he notices that the dress she's wearing is strapless. He loves strapless dresses, especially on her, because her shoulders are one of his favorite places to kiss.

Her fingers travel to the hem of his shirt and she pulls it up. He raises his arms in the air to help her.

Once he's shirtless, her lips fall on his chest, and she starts planting kisses all the way down his chest.

He removes her hair, exposing her neck, so he can kiss her there, but he has some problems with reaching the spot he wants to kiss.

"How come you're so flexible?" he asks astonished.

"I danced ballet, remember?" she asks through a murmur, while climbing up his chest with her lips. "I danced it until I was fifteen."

"Why did you stop?"

"They told me I have to lose weight."

Lose weight? Her? Nonsense. She's perfect as she is.

"And that I'm not allowed to eat candy," there's anger in her voice, "I'm not giving up my candy for no one," she tells him as she detaches her lips from his chest.

"That's my girl," he smiles at her.

She smiles back as her fingers work on his zipper. Once she unzips his jeans, she raises herself a little from his lap to pull his pants down.

Once she sits herself back on his lap, his hands fly to her back and he pulls the zipper of her dress down. She takes the dress and throws it on the front seat, exposing her body to him.

His lips fly to her chest, but she pushes him back, pining him to the seat.

"We have no time for that."

He smirks. "Where's it burning?"

"You're not amusing," she rolls her eyes at him. He knows very well where it's burning.

He does as she pleases, though. He grabs the hem of her panties with his fingers and pulls them down. Somehow she kicks them off her ankles.

He pulls his boxers just enough, and before he knows it, she positions herself on top of him.

The first thing she thought is how she got used to him. In the beginning there was no chance in hell for her to position herself on top of him so quickly. It took her some time to get used to him. And now, she did it so quickly, so naturally, and she didn't know is it because they fit so well together, or is it because she's in such a hurry.

She's almost ashamed to admit how much she needs him. How hungry she is for him.

She puts her hands on his shoulder and her face falls into the crook of his neck. He smells like apple and moss and musk, almost reminding her of forest, if it weren't for that aqua scent as well.

She moves her face to his head and inhales the scent of his freshly washed hair. Rosemary. Or at least she thinks it is.

She begins to buck her hips faster with each passing second, and he has to put his hands on her hips to ease her rhythm.

"I," she tries to catch her breath, "Wanted to do this," her eyes lock with his, "For such a long time," a pleasurable smile appears on her face.

He has such beautiful green eyes, she notices. She also realizes how much she loves the way he's looking at her while they're having sex. Like nothing but her exists. He shuts the rest of the world completely off. Sometimes he shuts himself off as well and worries only about her pleasure.

"Lena, slow down," he tries to control her movements, because by this speed she will be sending him over the edge soon, and he's afraid it will only leave her hanging, "You're too fast," he makes her grin as her fingertips travel to the nape of his neck, playing with the ends of his hair.

"I can't," she admits, "Seeing you out there, on the field," she tries to make complete sentences even though her mind is a bungle of words and thoughts, "It did something to me," she bites her lower lip, because it's true. She hasn't even realized it before. She always thought a guy quoting a book is a panty dropper for her. But no, seeing him on the field, all sweaty, wild, that's what gets her all riled up. Or maybe the thing is in him.

Matt was a football player too and he never evoke such feelings in her. Stefan sure as hell does.

"Fuck Elena," he can feel her squeezing around him more often than in the beginning, "You're so.."

Playing football always leaves him horny and hungry. He always understood the hunger, but the drive for sex left him baffled, since football was supposed to take all of his energy.

"I'm so what?" she tries to push her hair away from her face.

"So.." he tries to find the words. All of a sudden he grabs her by the hips so strongly she felt a sharp pain on her skin. "So fucking hot. Hold still," he orders her, taking in consideration the authority of his voice, she listens.

He held her by her hips, strongly, like he doesn't want her to slip away, and then he started pounding into her, making her brain shut down. Her eyes flew to the back of her head, and she felt like there's electricity going through her body.

"Stef," she screams his name, "So close," she starts panting loudly, "Uhm," a wave of pleasure goes through her body.

Her whole body tensed, especially her muscles, which tightened, and then, before she fell onto his chest, they relaxed like nothing happened, leaving her breathing heavily on his chest.

She could feel his heart beating wildly against hers.

"Did you.." were all of the words she managed to say through her strong and frequent inhales.

But he knew exactly what she wanted to ask. "Yeah," he confirmed, "I did."

They stayed in that position for couple of minutes until they regained at least a little of their strength.

"That was amazing," he kisses her neck.

"Mhm. Ruined my hair, though."

"I'm hungry."

"Me too. We should grab something to eat on our way to the party. Burger maybe."

"You're the best girlfriend ever."

"I try."

* * *

When they entered Tyler's house, which looked more like a mansion, every person they passed by congratulated Stefan on the victory. All of them greeted Elena, even the people whose faces she couldn't even remember from the school. All of a sudden everyone knew who she is and what her name is.

"I'm going to the bathroom," she whispered into his ear before detaching her hand from his and fighting her way through the sea of people towards the bathroom.

That ass, he smiled as she walked away.

"Stefan!" Rebekah pulled him by the arm, "Did you ask her?" she asked cheerfully.

By the half empty cup in her hand and a huge smile on her face Stefan concluded she already had enough of those.

"First thing first," he took her by the shoulders, "How's the Porsche?" he asked worriedly.

"Oh the car is fine!" she furrowed her brows.

He exhaled in relief. At least she decided to attack the vodka after she left the car in a safe place.

He frowned. "Asked who what?" he went back to her initial question.

"Elena, about the Florida."

"Nope," he shook his head.

He never thought the conversation will be started in front of her before he actually asks her.

"Then what were the two of you doing? I thought you were talking about it," she says, almost too innocently.

He smirks at her. "Something that doesn't require talking."

Wrong. With Elena it requires a surprisingly huge amount of talking.

"Oh," Rebekah makes a disgusted face, "Well, do it soon then," she smacks him on the arm and leaves without saying another word.

He shakes his head. Drunk Rebekah was creepy. Half drunk Rebekah was even creepier.

He decides to go to get drinks for him and Elena. When he reaches the table and takes the two cups in his hands, Katherine jumps him.

"Hey there handsome," she giggles.

Drunk as well. Lovely.

He looks at her. She's wearing a black leather dress and high heels which make her as high as he is so they're at the eye level.

He remembers the time when this look on her used to drive him wild.

Sure, he can admit she looks good. Amazing even. Attractive as hell.

But she's not driving him wild anymore, or evoking hunger in him.

He's perfectly content.

"Katherine," he greets her.

"Where's your little distraction?"

He gives her an eye. "If you're referring to my girlfriend," he pronounces the word proudly, making Katherine cringe, "She's in the bathroom."

Silence. Long, awkward silence.

He has nothing to say to her. He never had anything to say to her.

Her words stay lingering in the air.

She doesn't want them to.

"Why did you never ask me out?"

He looks at her confused, baffled even.

"I never thought you wanted me to ask you out."

"Neither did I."

He frowns. "Katherine, our deal was sex, no emotions. You were fine with it. With not having a relationship."

"I know," her voice is husky, "I was fine with it. In the beginning," she lowers her look, "Why does she deserve it and I don't?" she asks quietly.

He's so not having this conversation with her right now. Or ever. "You deserve it. I simply never knew you want it."

Her eyes brighten up. "If you did, do you think things would have been different now?"

"That's the thing, I don't know."

He really couldn't say. With Elena, he broke so many of his so called rules.

Deep down he knew he wouldn't do it for any other girl but he didn't want to hurt Katherine. It was completely unnecessary.

She looks at him seductively, and he swallows. He knows that look all too well. "Maybe we can try now.." she makes a step closer to him.

"I love her, Katherine."

Katherine looks up at him with a shock on her face. Her eyes widen at the still and serious expression at his face. For a moment there he thinks she will burst into laughter and ask him is he serious, but she doesn't. She just swallows before her look falls down.

And then, she turns around and leaves. Just like that. Without a word.

He shakes his head, grabs two cups from the table and decides to find Elena. First he checks the bathroom, but she's not there. He spends good ten minutes looking for her around the house, and he finally finds her on the back porch, sitting alone.

"Hey," he sits next to her on the stairs, "I've been looking for you," he hands her a cup.

She takes it from him without looking at him. "I've seen you talking to Katherine."

At first, he thinks she's jealous, or threatened, but then she turns her look to him and smiles. "I did not want to intrude, considering what happened the last time," she laughs lightly.

He chuckles. He takes a sip from the cup. Vodka. He hates vodka.

But he needs it.

"So," he stars talking, "When we were freshman's, the bunch of us came us with this crazy idea," he looks at her and notices she's already looking at him, "We agreed, once we finish with school, and before we get ready for college, we will pack our bags, jump into a car and drive to Florida."

Oh, Florida.

"Of course, Rebekah complained, why drive when we have planes."

Good point.

"We had to make her see how that would be the last time all of us will be together for a long time," uneasiness washes over his face.

It's weird, when you watch those popular kids, you have a feeling they're together in that gang just because they have to keep together. Because they're more powerful as a force.

You never think about them as being friends.

At least Elena hasn't. Until now.

"We have to take as much time as we can," Stefan swallows hard. "I have to admit, I disregarded the idea, until Tyler brought it up few months ago."

"Stefan, you don't need my permission to go," she wiggles her lips.

He frowns. "I'm not asking for your permission," he says, almost offended, "I wanted to ask you can I book us a room or will I have to share mine with Rebekah?"

Surprise washes over her face. He's asking her to come along.

"What?" she plays dumb.

"Come with me?" he asks hopefully, "With us, I mean," a faint smile appears on his lips.

"To Florida?"

"To Florida."

"This summer?"

"This summer."

Silence. She's thinking, even though there's nothing to think about.

"I wanted to ask you sooner," he adds, "I just didn't know how."

She laughs internally.

Isn't that always the problem with Stefan? Him not knowing how to say what he wants even when he's sure he wants it.

"Yes."

"You'll come?"

"I'll come."

* * *

**AN: It seems they have their summer planned :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**So, this is a carefree chapter full of fluff. **

**Yeah, let's just call it fluff. **

**P.S It's not fluff.**

**Enjoy ;)**

* * *

She invited Stefan over for dinner. She said she will cook. He laughed. She punched him, and he winced, noticing her punches are getting harder every time her fist meets a part of his body. He accepted the invitation.

She so kindly asked Jeremy to get the fuck out of the house for the night, and when he asked her to save him a piece of whatever she's making, since they have home cooked meals so rarely, she blushed like a red chilly pepper and pushed him through the door.

"Welcome," she got on her toes to kiss him on the lips after she opened the front door once she heard the doorbell ring.

His lips tasted like honey.

"Here," he raised his hand in the air once she detached her lips from his and fell back to her feet, "These are for you," her look falls on the bouquet of white roses in his hand.

She wraps her fingers around the thin, transparent paper in which the roses are, and a wide smile appears on her face as she buries it in the roses.

Roses are not her favorite flowers, but they will do. She wonders does he know her favorite flower. Has she ever mentioned it before?

"Thank you," she thanks him genuinely, opening the door wide enough for him to come in.

He eyes her in her over sized shirt and denim shorts which are barely visible under the dark blue shirt. He thought about how fucking sexy she looks dressed like that while stepping in the hallway.

He bit his lower lip.

"I have a surprise for you," she says as she takes the vase from the table and goes to the kitchen to fill it with water to put the flowers in.

"Oh?" he grins.

She takes a wash cloth from the kitchen counter and comes closer to him. "No peeking!" she exclaims while indicating him to turn around.

He may not be as smart as she is, but he knows when a hot girl tells you she has a surprise for you, you do everything she asks you to do.

"Close your eyes," she orders him as he turns around. So he closes his eyes. The next thing he knows she's tying a cloth around his head, over his eyes. He keeps quiet until she's done, though.

"How am I going to see the surprise with this thing over me eyes?"

She giggles.

She planned to stop doing that. She failed.

"You're going to guess," he can hear some noise.

"And what am I guessing?" he wiggles his lips, trying to detect the sound.

"What are we having for dinner, of course," the last sound he hears is her putting something on the top of the kitchen island in front of him. "You can start guessing now," she orders.

He wiggles his lips, trying to get a sneak under the cloth because he sucks at guessing, until he realizes there's no way to see anything, she tied it too well.

"How does it taste?" he asks the first thing he can come up with. Her answer will allow him to categorize what she prepared for them.

She giggles. "Depends on your mood."

Or maybe not. The food that depends on your mood?

"What color is it?"

She keeps quiet for a moment. "Skin color," she finally concludes, "There's some pink on it as well."

Hmm.

"Is it a cupcake?" he asks proudly.

She laughs lightly. "Cute, Stefan."

Is that a no?

"Is it big?" he licks his lips.

"Oh yes. Huge," she says seriously, "Human sized even."

What the..?

"Elena," he frowns, putting his fingers under the cloth tied over his eyes, "What's going on?" he unties the cloth, and when it falls from his eyes, he gasps.

She's lying on the kitchen island, her head propped on her elbow, her hair falling over the better part of her torso, naked.

Well, not completely naked, she's wearing some thin, transparent pink lingerie.

"You seem disappointed," she furrows her brows.

Disappointed? Is she insane?

"So, it's a table buffet," he cocks his eyebrow in her direction, smirking.

She laughs lightly.

He walks over to her, puts his hands under her knees and pulls her over to him.

"So, what did I do to deserve this.." he puts his fingers under the hem of her panties, "Feast?" he smirks.

"Well," she bites her lower lip, "Remember the car?"

Haha. Does he remember the car?

He just nods.

"Well, since I crossed one of my fantasies off the list, you should do the same."

He has no problems with that.

He pulls her panties down, slowly, over her legs. When he starts lowering his head in between her legs, she bucks. He looks up at her, confused.

"What are you doing?" she asks baffled.

Isn't it obvious?

"Well, I came here to eat.."

"Oh," she blushes, turning her head away.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just," she can't even force herself to look at him, "No one ever did that to me."

He gasps silently, but decides not to comment on it.

"Well, there's a first time for everything," he says instead.

She nods. "Just go gentle with me," she half demands, half pleads.

He smirks. "Always," and then, his head goes in between her thighs.

When she feels his breath, she gasps, because it's so close and so cold, and she's not used to that feeling. And when she feels his tongue probing into her, she separates her legs some more.

At first, it's weird. Her body is tense, even though he tries to relax her by holding her legs with his hands and caressing her skin with both of his thumbs.

After some time, he succeeds, and now he has to hold her legs because they feel like jello, and if he doesn't, they will collapse on the island.

"Mmm," she says, a pleasurable smile evident on her face.

She has no idea what he's doing to her, but she needs him to continue doing it. She never wants him to stop.

He tightens his hold on her legs, slowly pulling her closer to him.

By now, her mind is a big blur, of words and images, and soon, there's nothing by blackness. Her eyes fall shut and she bucks her hips.

She moans loudly when he hits the spot.

"Uh," she yells, thankful they're alone, and that the walls are thick.

Her hand flies on the top of his head, trying to keep him where he is.

"Stef," her fingers go through his hair, "Don't move," she half orders, half begs, "Right there," her voice is melodic, sweet, maybe even too sweet. Like it's not even her own.

He lets go off her legs and, somehow, she manages to keep them up. One of his hands falls on her left thigh, and the other travels over her stomach to her chest, slightly squeezing her breasts.

"Oh," that comes as a surprise to her, additional pleasure.

Everything is becoming more intense. Smell, temperature, noise coming from the outside, pleasure. Soon, she's aware of everything, but at the same time she can't concentrate on anything else but pleasure.

She pleads and begs and she's not sure what she begs for but she keeps calling out his name nevertheless, in between panting and moaning.

"I love you so much," she pulls his hair lightly, but he doesn't react to her actions. Is that allowed to say? Is it proper? Is it a mood dropper?

Doesn't seem to be.

"Oh my God," she screams, pulling her legs wide open when electricity goes through her whole body. "Stef, please," she cries out.

Her cheeks are red. Her whole body is. The sweat on her skin is prickling her stomach. She never knew a person can get sweaty by just lying in place.

She feels like her spine is going to protrude through her back, like every bone in her body turned into jello.

Then she tenses. Pulls on his hair a little rougher. Closes her legs around his head. Her muscles ache. Her heart is pounding like she's been running a marathon. Her eyes shutter to the back of her head.

She realizes she's coming, and her voice gets stuck in her throat.

Soon enough her body relaxes, her legs falling on the side. Her voice finally escapes her tightness of her throat, but all that comes out is sharp and repetitive breathing. He raises his head and looks at her face. Red, sweaty face. Her chest is rising and falling fast, continuously. Once he removed his head, she closed her legs back up.

She rolled off the kitchen island and landed on her feet, remembering the time she was ashamed of someone to seeing her naked. Not with Stefan. He seemed to appreciate her nakedness.

She stood in front of him, pushing him against a counter. She pulled his shirt over his head.

Sex with Matt was rather boring compared to this. Lights turned off, under the covers, always the same position. She felt some pleasure, though, and she thought that's how it's supposed to be. He was her first and she didn't know anything better.

And now she was having sex under the light of the day, completely naked, in the middle of her kitchen.

After unzipping his pants, she pushed them down his legs, alongside his briefs.

"What has gotten into you?" he asks confused while stepping out of his jeans and briefs.

"Funny," she smirks at him while pushing him onto the kitchen island.

He wasn't trying to be funny.

"No pun intended?" he watches as a devilish smirk makes an appearance on her lips.

"Get up," she orders.

And it was kinda hot.

He was pretty sure not taking orders from a hot girl during sex was a violation number 345 or so in the guy code, so he did as he was told.

She climbed on the kitchen counter and sat on top of him, leaning herself on top of him and kissing his chest. He had put his hands on her back, pulling them up and down, squeezing her ass lightly, pulling his finger over the trail of her spine, feeling her shiver on top of him as he did so.

Then she propped herself up, took him in her hand, and guided towards her entrance.

When she felt him inside of herself, she gasped in surprise, something she always did, something he immensely enjoyed. Watching that expression on her face.

"People make food on these things, you know?" she started moving herself up and down, putting her hands on the top of his chest.

"Did you know that you talk an awfully lot during sex?" he cocks his eyebrow in her direction.

Her hands travel to her back and unclasp her bra. She pulls the straps down her arm, and once the bra is off she tosses it somewhere behind herself.

"Silence is awkward."

Her hair is covering the better part of her torso, including her chest, but he didn't mind. Seeing her breasts bounce under her hair as she moved on top of him was enough for him.

He had put his hands on her hips and started fondling them lightly.

They went well together. Very well. In both sexual and romantic sense.

He was like a hurricane, throwing everything in front of him on the ground as he passed by. He has been wild and careless.

And she was like a still water. Maybe too still. Watching others making waves, crashing into the ground, but afraid to do so herself.

Now he's a little bit more careful, realizing that things break when they fall.

And she's not afraid to make waves anymore because she realized she's not a still water, she's an ocean.

"Are you satisfied with your dinner?" she chuckles while bucking her hips. Her voice is husky, words barely making it out of her mouth in between loud breathing and few moans.

"I still have room for more."

She smiles, closing her eyes. "You have a large appetite."

"What can I say?" he pulls his hands from her hips to her stomach, "You're an excellent cook."

Her skin is so soft. Like silk.

Melting under his fingertips. Like butter.

So bendable when he fondled it. Like rubber.

So pure, clear. Like a sheet of white paper.

She is perfect.

"Stef," she says loudly, and he knew exactly what it means. It meant she's close. She called for his name whenever she was close.

Her eyes flutter as she starts moving faster, wilder, her fingernails scratching the skin of his chest, making him grunt.

"Just," she barely says before her eyes fly wide open, "Oh, fuck me!" her eyes lock with his, and he notices something flash inside of them.

Her smirks at her. He loved when she talked dirty, even though it was rare.

"Oh yeah?" his smirk was still present.

Somehow she found time to blush.

"Oh come on Elena," he says a little annoyed, "Don't go _vanilla_ on me now!"

She felt annoyance in his voice, so she lowered her herself down on him and moved his hands to her ass. "Yeah," she says seductively "I want you to fuck me," she returned him a smirk.

She stopped moving her hips, deciding it's his turn to do all the work.

He started moving himself slowly, holding onto her ass.

"Like this?" he asks her.

Her fingers traveled to his hair, ruffling it.

"Faster," she brought her lips closer to his ear and whispered.

He started moving himself faster.

"Like this?"

"Faster" she said louder than the first time.

He wanted to ask her is that fast enough but he lost his voice. She wouldn't be able to answer him anyway, her voice disappeared as well.

"Any more wishes?" he asked after few minutes of hearing her pant, moan and call out for him. After his throat became wet and words found a way to slide out of his mouth.

"Yes," she managed to utter. Her chest was pressing onto his. "Make me come."

He smirked and started moving himself faster in and out of her.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck.

And then, she screamed into his skin.

He felt her walls tightening around him, and that sent him over the top.

Her hands traveled to the back of his neck and she plunged her fingers there.

He squeezed her ass roughly.

Both of their bodies tensed and relaxed at the same time.

Her body was glued to his by all the sweat in between.

They stayed in that position for the longest time. She was lying on top of him, breathing heavily, and he was holding her, trying to catch his breath.

There was a smile on the both of their faces.

"I'm hungry," he declared after few minutes.

"Stefan," she said tiredly, "I can't anymore. I need rest."

He laughed. "No, I mean I'm really hungry."

"Oh," she chuckled, "I made spaghetti before you arrived. We only need to heat them up."

"I love spaghetti."

"I know, you told me before."

He wrapped his arms around here.

"I love you more, though."

"I know," she planted a kiss on his chest, "You told me that as well."

* * *

**AN: I'm not sure if I'm any good in writing sex scenes, but I believe healthy sexual appetite is important in a relationship.**


	25. Chapter 25

He intertwines his fingers with hers, bringing their joined hands up in the air and planting a kiss on their collapsed fingers. There's some air in the cracks between their fingers, so she has a feeling like her skin is breathing, like every finger has a heart of it's own. She brings her lips closer to his cheek, but she doesn't kiss him, but leaves them lingering against his skin, sunshine probing in between her lips and his cheek. He feels her smile once her lips finally press against his cheek.

She whispers something into his ear, and he laughs. She laughs as well, mostly because his laugh makes her laugh. It's addictive, it's consuming.

She reaches for the knob, twists it around and pushes the door open, dragging him inside of the house.

At the moment she's ready to attack his lips, she hears Jeremy calling for her name. "Elena?" she can hear footsteps coming from the living room only few seconds before Jeremy and Bonnie appear. "I was just about to call you," he says with a husky voice, and her look falls on the white envelope in his hands.

She detaches herself from Stefan, freeing her fingers from his, walking slowly towards her brother. He raises his hand and hands her the envelope which she grabs hungrily, but doesn't tear it open right than instant. Her eyes linger on it, like she's trying to see through it. Her breath is stuck in her throat, making it hard for her to inhale, almost impossible. She swallows hard before she whispers, "It arrived," first she looks at Jeremy, who is as concerned as her, then at Stefan who seems stunned, and then her look falls back on the envelope, "From Harvard."

So this is it. Her whole future lies in this envelope. On this sheet of paper. This is the moment she will find out is she good enough. Has her work been paid off. Were all the sleepless nights studying for various exams, doing projects, joining all those clubs, worth it, or has she spent her best years on nothing.

This is her chance to make her dad proud of her. To put a smile on his face, to make him hug her, pat her on the back, give her a kiss on the cheek and say she turned out to be everything he ever wanted her to be.

This is the moment she finds out does she succeeds. Or fails.

"Well, open it then," Bonnie says excitedly.

Elena looks up and sees Bonnie's encouraging face beaming over Jeremy's shoulder. She should have looked for support in her friend right away. Not in her brother, who was as nervous as she was, or Stefan, even though she loved him more than she ever thought she will love a man in this period of her life. She should have known she's going to find support in her best friend, person who has been there for her when these two men couldn't for various reasons.

She smiles in Bonnie's direction and goes for the envelope opening. She gets her fingernail under the curve where the paper is glued and starts pulling it apart. The noise is too loud so she bites her lower lip and closes her eyes. Once the envelope is opened she reaches for the paper inside of it, and even though it's folded, she can see black, printed letters on the other side.

She inhales hardly, exhales loudly, and unfolds the paper. Her eyes fall on the first sentence on the top of the paper and she's too scared to continue reading, so her look kinda lingers on the first word of the first sentence for few seconds.

All of the eyes are on her, she can feel it. So she moves on the second word. The third one.

The more she moves the harder she swallows. The harder it is for her to breathe.

Then she reaches it. Her answer. Words she's been waiting for months.

She raises her look from the paper and looks right at Stefan. He's patiently waiting for her response, but she doesn't say anything. She's struck.

The expression on her face is unreadable.

"I - " she starts, her eyes flickering bright under the sun beams, jumping from Stefan to Jeremy and Bonnie, before looking down at the paper, "I didn't get in," she says sadly.

Her voice is silent, husky. There's a certain kind of heaviness to it, sadness even. "I didn't get in," she repeats once again like she's only realizing it now. Like saying it for the second time finally makes her brain understand what the letter said. She raises her head and looks at Stefan, her eyes full of tears.

His throat tightness when he sees her face expression, twisted in sadness and pain and weight of failure.

She looks so helpless, so lost, so..

.. devastated.

All he wants to do is help her, but he doesn't know how.

He can't think of the right words to say, and he doesn't want to use the wrong ones. Words are not going to help anyway.

He's too afraid to touch her because, as of right now, she looks like she's made out of glass. One wrong move and she will break.

She will slip out of his hands and shatter on the floor.

If he doesn't touch her, maybe she manages to keep standing.

"What?" Jeremy asks in disbelief, "Let me see that," he takes the letter out of her fragile hands.

His eyes scramble through to page, trying to find the error in her words, but once he reads it through he pulls his lips into a tight, thin line.

More tears fill her eyes, and before the first one gets a chance to roll down her cheek, she squeezes her eye shut and disappears into the living room.

"Elena," Stefan says sympathetically, but when he reaches the living room, he can see her going across the dining room and through the back door. He can hear her whimper before the door fall shut.

"Let her be," Bonnie says quietly, and this is probably the first time she spoke to him directly, "She needs to be alone now," Stefan looks at Bonnie and realizes she feels as sorry for Elena as he does.

He doesn't want to leave her alone. He doesn't want her to be alone. She doesn't have to be.

But he just nods, burying himself in place.

Because he knows she needs to be.

* * *

He let's her be for quite some time. An hour, maybe hour and a half even.

She's been sitting on the stairs of a back porch for the whole time, staring at the one spot on the fence. She hasn't moved, not even once. She kept her arms crossed on her knees, her breathing was steady, her shoulders moving up and down with every breath she took.

She stopped whimpering, and crying. Elena never was much of a crier anyway. She got it out of her system, and then calmed down. But the look on her face afterwards was as heartbreaking as the sound of her breath leaving her body followed by a stream of tears and sobbing.

He would check up on her from time to time, just to make sure she's still there and that she's alright. As alright as she can be.

Bonnie and Jeremy left after an hour or so. They planned to have a date and Stefan told them they should go on with their plans, even though both of them insisted on staying. He managed to convince them to go since there's really nothing they can do for Elena, not until she decides to ask for help.

If she decides to ask for help. She's coping on her own.

He opened the back door and stepped out on the porch. She didn't even flinch. Not even to look who's coming to disrupt her silence. She kept looking at that one spot on the fence like her life depends on it.

He walks over to her and sits on the steps next to her, leaving the boxes he's been carrying in his hands next to himself. The rattle they do once he drops them on the porch makes her jump a little, showcasing first sign of life after an hour and a half. Other than breathing, of course.

When he looks at her face he notices her eyes are still puffy, glimmering under the sunlight. They look beautiful in a sad kind of a way.

Her cheeks are bright red, and her lips parted a little, enough for her to exhale.

They sit like that in silence, she in the position she's been for the last hour and a half, and him with his legs sprawled against the lower stairs.

"I'm not in the mood for a picnic," she finally says, without looking at him.

"Well good," his voice is serious. As much as his heart is breaking for her, he doesn't want to show her that. Because if he does, they will both sink. "Since we're not having one."

She looks at him seriously and he's glad she had finally moved from her position. "What are these for?" she points at the three boxes of plates next to him.

He takes one of the boxes in his hands and puts it on his lap, slowly unpacking it. "What do you usually do when you're in the situation like this?" she follows his clumsy fingers.

"I haven't been in a situation like this for a very long time," she answers. She wanted to say she hasn't been this sad since her mom died, but she handled that kind of sadness differently. Her mom was gone, and there's nothing she could do about it. It was something she had no influence over.

And now, she's the only one to blame.

Stefan huffs. "Well, what do you usually do when you're sad?" the thought of her being sad fills him with his own kind of sadness.

"I read," she says instantly, without thinking.

Of course she does. She gets in her chair, snuggles in a blanket, makes herself a cup of tea and reads. That's what makes her feel better.

"Do you think a book would help you now?" he asks.

She shakes her head. Books always help, when it comes to trivial problems. After she reads they don't seem so big anymore. Because reading fills her with joy and inspiration and everything else seem irrelevant, but the world she found herself in.

But this problem, this kind of a sadness, is too big to push in the back of her mind and cover it up with a chapter of her favorite book.

"I play football," he announces while taking the plates out of the box, "You're too clumsy for something like that, the only thing you would manage to do is get yourself hurt," and more pain is the last thing she needs right now.

A tiny smile appears in the corners of her lips because she is clumsy, too clumsy. And him noticing it makes her happy for some reason.

"So I thought this might help," he takes one ceramic, white plate in his hands and gives it to her. She wraps her fingers around the edges of the plate. "Well, go for it," he tells her after few moments of silence.

She gets to her feet, still staring at the plate in her hands. She twirls it few times before she says, "All these years, all for nothing," she hisses through her teeth, "Hours of studying," her voice becomes deeper, louder, "Doing projects for an extra credit," she wants to cry, but anger clouds her pain, "Joining all those fucking pointless clubs," her voice is sharp, there's an edge to it, "All for nothing," she crashes the plate on the ground. It doesn't fall out of her hands or slip from her fingers, she crashes it violently, followed by deep breathing.

She turns around rapidly and takes another plate from his lap, and he starts opening the second box.

"Why can't I ever do anything right?" she seems annoyed with herself.

Crash.

"I fail every single time!"

Crash.

"Nothing in my life ever goes right," her voice gets lost somewhere inside of her throat.

Crash.

Tears start rolling down her face again.

He wants to stop her. To take her into his arms and tell her everything is going to be okay. To console her.

But he knows that's not going to solve anything. He would only make himself feel better, not her.

She needs this. She needs to let it out.

She grabs another plate but doesn't destroy it instantly. She locks her eyes on it before she says, "You know what's the worst thing?" she asks, but he knows she doesn't expect him to answer her.

"I never wanted to go to Harvard!"

The plate crashes on the ground.

"It was never my dream. It was his dream. I just wanted to make him happy."

There's another crash.

"All I managed to do was disappoint him," she's quiet now, her voice cracking under the pressure of her words.

She turns around and he notices her teary eyes and red cheeks, as well as lips pulled down, painful expression on her face.

"I have no idea what I want," her voice is heavy, which makes him get to his feet, walk over to her and pull her into a hug.

He can't stand seeing her like that without at least trying to help her.

Her head falls on his shirt, and he can feel her tears soaking up the cotton. He can also feel how hard it is for her to breathe, and the loud thump of her heart against his chest.

"You're beautiful, and smart, and witty, and funny," he puts his hand on the top of her head and starts stroking her hair with his fingers, "You're the most caring and generous person I've ever met," she stops sobbing and starts inhaling loudly, making his throat tighten, "I know this was important to you, but which college you go to doesn't have to define you," her face stays buried in his shirt, "You can still be whoever you want to be, and do whatever you want to do," he kisses the top of her head, "You made me life so much better, Elena, and I don't know if that's something you ever wanted to do, but giving someone a stronger will to live without trying to do so is a pretty good accomplishment," his arms stay wrapped around her.

Her arms go flying around his neck, and she locks her fingers so she can hold onto him.

"I feel like you're the only right thing I've ever done," she nuzzles her nose against his shirt, affected by his words.

"I think we're very right as well," a faint smile appears on his face, "But I don't want you to feel like that," her body tenses against his before it gets relaxed by his following words, "You're so much more than that," he whispers into her ear.

Maybe she is. But he is enough for her.

The words never leave her, though.

"What now?" she asks silently, still clutching onto him.

He sighs. "Now you wait for other letters."

"Princeton," she whispers.

"How do you feel about us being there together?"

"Happy," it's as simple as that.

"Good," he says relieved, "I'd love to have you there."

"Oh?"

"Sure, how do you expect me to pass all of those exams if you don't help me study?" he smirks.

She smacks him on the back lightly.

"I'm going to prevent you from going for all those college girls," she teases him.

He squeezes her closer. "I don't need anyone else as long as I have you."

And he's planning on keeping her forever.

She lets go of him and, somehow, wiggles herself out of his hug, falling back on her own two feet.

"I can't stay here," her cheeks blush, "Can I sleep at your place tonight?"

He plants a kiss on her forehead. "Sure."

* * *

The sun goes down, and stars and the moon come up and start playing the game of light and shadow on the skin of her naked body.

His fingertips cover every inch of her skin, leaving goosebumps on it.

His lips follow the trace of his fingertips and soon enough he tastes every bit of her body, and he concludes the taste of her skin is his favorite taste in the world. Closely followed by the smell of her hair and the sound of her laugh.

He could spend his whole life doing nothing but making her laugh. Seeing her smile. Like a child in disguise.

The night is quiet. There's no wind, no traffic noise, no screaming coming from inside of the house. All he can hear are her loud inhales and even louder exhales, her seductive moaning and delicious panting.

His lips travel to hers and he swallows one of her moans.

He wants to swallow all the pain and fear that has been building inside of her as well.

She gently bites his lower lip with her front teeth and he winces from the pleasurable pain that goes down his throat.

Their skin collides, and he can feel how slippery her skin is from all the sweat but he doesn't care. He lets his skin get glued to hers, even though he knows detaching it will be a painful process.

He wants to take her in, whole of her. He wants to inhale her into his lungs and plant her there, like a tree, let her grow.

She was his anyway, and he was hers, and there really wasn't anything in between.

And it was as simple as that.

She rolls them over and now she's on top of him, her lips colliding with the skin of his chest, and she's kissing him through the whole length of his torso.

He can feel her all over himself. She hid one part of herself in every pore of his body, in every crack on his skin. When he breaths in he has a feeling he's inhaling her scent, and when he breaths out he tries to catch the same air because he's too scared of letting her go.

And when her body relaxes after every muscle in it tenses she falls on his chest and he can feel their hearts beating to the same rhythm at the equal speed.

"I wish I could be more like you," she says quietly, her fingertips trailing the length of his arm, "Satisfied with what I have. With who I am."

Funny, since he always wanted to be more like her.

"I think we spend too much time wanting to be someone else that we forget how to be ourselves."

* * *

**AN: I guess nothing can go perfect.**


	26. Chapter 26

**This chapter is short and fast followed by the previous one but I had some time, plus, I wanted to include this in the previous chapter. Enjoy! :)**

* * *

It's Saturday, so they sleep in. Her kisses wake him up from a light sleep, and he wraps his arms around her, making her a prisoner in his embrace. For a moment she forgets her own disappointment and failure and she never wants him to let her go because he's her own private safe haven. In his arms everything is better and safer.

When she wiggles herself out of his arms because she has to get home, everything falls apart. The inside of her chest still feels heavy, and her skin like it's made from paper, even air can hurt it.

She doesn't want Jeremy to worry and she knows he will since she left the house without leaving a message.

Her and Stefan cuddle for few more minutes, his fingertips on her skin, and her lips colliding with hers time after time after time.

She gets dressed and parts from Stefan with a heavy heart. He offers to drive her home, but she refuses, saying a walk could do her good.

When she gets out of his house she checks her phone and notices six unanswered calls from Jeremy. She decides not to call him back since she will be home in few minutes and then she can excuse herself face to face. There's a twenty minutes walk from Stefan's house to hers.

She wants to think about Harvard, about her current failure and the disappointment she inflicted on herself, and the disappointment her dad will feel when it comes to her. But she can't force herself to think about it. Even though she still feels the weight of everything, the only thing she can think about is Stefan. How there's a bigger possibility they will go to college together, continue their lives together. If she gets into Princeton they won't have to have a long distance relationship, they have a chance to build a future together.

The more she thinks about it, the wider the smile on her face becomes. From a faint one, to a full blown smile radiating with happiness.

When she enters the house, Jeremy is sitting on the hallway stairs, facing the door.

She wants to explain him everything but before she gets a chance he jumps to his feet and asks angrily, "Why haven't you answered your phone?" his brows furrow.

"I haven't heard - " she wants to excuse herself, but he interrupts her before she gets a chance to do so.

He puts his hands on her shoulders and shakes her lightly. "Dad is home."

The smile from her face disappears, and her lips pull into a wide, thin line.

"Where were you?" she hears a deep, masculine voice coming from behind Jeremy.

She looks over her brothers shoulder and notices their dad standing by the kitchen entrance. He's still wearing his army uniform, telling her he came home only recently, and there's a hard expression on his face. He's not worried, not like Jeremy has been, he's angry, almost like he always his.

She has a choice. She can say she's been at Bonnie's or Caroline's, or at Jenna's even, because she knows Jenna would cover for her. Or she can tell him the truth.

"At Stefan's," she says sternly.

She chooses the truth.

Her dad's face hardens more after her words.

"I'm not taking care of you so you could drag yourself around with boys," he says disgusted.

It hurts. How her dad didn't even react to her words, that she's been at some boys place for the whole night. How he accepted it. How he thinks that's something she usually does. Both options hurt, she just doesn't know which one hurts more.

More importantly, it makes her angry.

"That's the thing, you're not," she shakes Jeremy's hands off her shoulders, "I'm taking care of myself."

Jeremy tenses to his sisters words. She never speaks to their dad like that. He's the one who usually rebels and she's the one fixing it.

"Stefan is her boyfriend," he feels like he has to say something to make the situation better, but neither of them seem to notice him.

"Boyfriend?" their dad hisses. Even though he did not give any signs of notice of his son, he had heard him. "Is he the reason why this happened?" he throws the white envelope in the floor.

Elena bends down and picks the envelope from the floor. Her acceptance letter from Harvard.

She frowns as she raises her look up from the floor to her dad. "I don't read your mail," her voice tenses, "I would appreciate if you didn't read mine as well."

He looks at her in disbelief, like he can't recognize the person standing in front of him.

"This was your only job, Elena!" he yells at her, "To get good grades and to get into Harvard!" his eyes are as full of anger as his voice is, "I give you all this freedom and you take it for granted!"

"Is that how you see it?" she yells right back, "That leaving me," the corners of her eyes fly in Jeremy's direction, "That leaving both of us alone is giving us freedom?" her voice is full of anger, and she can see so much of himself in her, which only makes her wish she's more like her mother. She wishes she inherited her graceful way of speaking and handling herself instead of her eyes and her talent for writing. What does she need her eyes for, anyway, when her fathers anger flashes through them every time she finds herself in an argument? "Do you think having you home for few days a year is enough? Even then you don't even bother to look at us properly, or talk to us about anything other than school," her throat tightens as guilt washes over her fathers face.

"Do you know Jeremy has a girlfriend?" she asks, and his eyes fly over to Jeremy. "For a year now. Your son is in a relationship for the whole year and you didn't even know it!" the lines of his face are not tense anymore, far from that. They could be described as sad.

"Did you know I fell in love?" she asks with a husky voice, feeling like she's shattering from the inside, but she can't help a smile appearing on her face. "Of course you didn't," she shakes her head, "Because you never bothered asking."

"What are you going to do now?" he asks stubbornly, like all of those words never came out of her mouth.

"There are other colleges, dad," she says tiredly, like she can't be bothered by him anymore.

"But Harvard was your first option!"

"No, it was your first option!" a loud scream escapes her throat, "It was your dream, one you enforced on me, one I accepted because I didn't want to disappoint you!"

"What's your plan?" he continues where he left of, like she never said anything, "Marry this boy, have kids, work as a waitress for the rest of your life?"

She gives up, so she shrugs, "Sounds like a plan since I'm already pregnant," she says frustrated.

Horror washes over his face as he makes few steps towards her, raises his hand and slaps her across the face.

She whimpers before the palm of her hand covers the spot on her face where he had hit her.

Jeremy steps in between them and pushes their father away before his hands fly to Elena. "You!" he screams pointing to his father, "Don't ever touch her again!"

"We lost her too, you know?" Elena whimpers from behind her brother, "And instead of being there for us you left us as well."

"Don't bring your mother into this," he says, strangely calm, "If she could see you right now, she would be so disappointed in you."

His words sting her like a two blade sword.

"I guess that makes two of us," she says before storming into the bathroom.

* * *

After few minutes Jeremy joins Elena in the bathroom. He catches her sitting on the edge of the bathtub, pressing a wet cloth to her cheek.

"He said he will leave," Jeremy crosses his arms on his chest as he leans onto the door.

Elena raises her frown to him. "Leave where?"

"Back to the field," he shrugs it off, "He's packing his bags as we speak."

"So he's running off again?" Elena huffs, "Typical."

Jeremy doesn't say anything because there really isn't anything to say. It's the truth.

He walks over to her and takes the cloth in his hands, soaking it under the stream of water. He squeezes it dry before leaning it against her red cheek again.

"He shouldn't have hit you."

"He shouldn't have done a lot of things."

"Elena?" he says her name shyly.

"Yeah?"

"Are you really pregnant?"

"No," she says instantly, "I was late, though," she admits, "I was scared I might be, but I think it was just from the stress," she says relieved, "I only told him that to make him angry."

"Well, you succeeded," he points to her cheek with his look.

She bites her lower lip.

"I have never heard you talk like that to him. Or to anyone."

"I know. He just made me feel like such a failure. And I really tried."

"I know you did. Are you still sad for not getting in?"

"I don't think I was ever sad for not getting in. I was afraid of disappointing him."

Jeremy nods in understanding.


	27. Chapter 27

She rushes down the school hallways, fighting her way through the sea of people, pushing them aside, and being pushed by some. The hallways of their school are far too tight for so many students who keep coming out of the classrooms which are so close to each other.

Somehow she finds her way out, and when she sees Stefan standing by his locker, she shouts his name and he turns around instantly. At first he's worried, but when he notices a smile on her face the muscles on his relax instantly.

Once she reaches him she crashes into his body, jumping on him. Her arms fly around his neck, squeezing him tightly, and she wraps her legs around his waist. He puts his hands under her bottom to prop her up, in case her legs give out on her. Even though he's confused by her sudden excitement and public expression of affections, he welcomes the kiss she plants on his lips clumsy, and in a hurry.

After she detaches her lips from his, she reaches for the pocket of her jacket and unfolds a white piece of paper in front of his eyes.

"Guess who got into Princeton?" she asks excitedly before his eyes finish roaming over the letter.

When he reaches _"Congratulations! On the behalf of Princeton College community, I am pleased to announce your admission for Fall 2013!"_ he raises his look from the letter and his eyes meet hers, which are glistening from happiness, and he pulls a wide smile across his face.

"You got into Princeton?" he half asks, half announces, excitement evident in his voice.

He feels like a rock has been lifted off his chest. They won't have to say goodbye to each other. They won't be separated by miles and hours. They won't have to struggle with a long distance relationship. She will be right there next to him, and they will have a chance to grow, they will have a chance to build their future together.

As much as the thought of having a future with someone, once upon a time, made his throat tighten, now makes his heart pound wildly from happiness. It makes him excited. It makes him eager. It makes him wish it can start right now.

"Of course you got into Princeton," he nuzzles his nose against hers, because people from Princeton would have to be on some serious drugs not to accept her, like those maniacs from Harvard were, and gives her a light peck on the lips before he yells, "Hey everyone!" making the crowd freeze, because Stefan has this effect on people. He has the ability to catch peoples attention, something Elena was never good at. She always tried to blend in, and Stefan spent his whole life sticking out. "My girlfriend just got into Princeton," he says, his lips forming into a smile while hovering near hers.

Everyone start clapping, some even shout words of congratulations, and she has no idea do they do that because they're genuinely happy for her or because Stefan was the one to make an announcement, but for the first time she doesn't care.

"Party at my house, today, after 9pm," after those words the crowd starts howling and clapping harder, and his lips attack hers, pulling them into a passionate kiss, acting like they're not standing in the middle of a school hallway, surrounded by hundreds of people who are probing into their intimacy. No, they're allowing them.

She tries to wiggle herself away from him so he gently lets her down because he hates when she tries to detach herself from him by force, even if it's a light signal she wants to stop showing off their intimacy to others.

"A party? For me?" she bites her lower lip and he's amazed how he manages to look as shy as a child and as seductive as a grown woman at the same time.

"Of course," he puts his hands on her hips because lately he can't seem to keep his hands away from her, "This deserves a celebration," his thumbs travel under the hem of her skin tight flowery top.

"Oh," she exhales, acting disappointed, "I was hoping we could have our own, private party, just the two of us," she looks at him with that look again, look that drives him wild, a mix of innocence and seduction.

He pulls her closer to himself. "Oh," he brings his lips closer to her ear, "I can assure you we will," his hands travel down to her ass and he squeezes it lightly.

"Can you two stop it," Elena hears a familiar voice behind her back, and Stefan growls annoyed because someone dared to interrupt them, "We're in a public place," Elena turns around, and Stefan raises his head to look at Rebekah rolling her eyes at the sight of them, "Plus, I just ate, and I'd like to keep my food down" her eyes fall on Stefan's arms wrapped around Elena's waist, and Elena just giggles. "What happened to oh so sweet and innocent Elena?" Rebekah grins.

Stefan lowers his chin on Elan's shoulder and says melodically, "She doesn't live here anymore," which only makes Elena giggle more. "Don't be bitter because your boyfriend is middle aged," Stefan grins.

A frown appears on Rebekah's face. "Do I have to remind you he's your brother as well?"

Stefan shrugs. "Doesn't take the fact he's old."

"Anyway," Rebekah says after rolling her eyes one more time, "What do I hear about you hosting a party tonight?" she asks offended he didn't inform her about it first.

"Oh, yes," he can feel the offence in her voice so he tries to tell her it was a last minute decision, "We just found my incredibly smart girlfriend got into Princeton," he gives Elena a peck on the cheek.

A smile appears on Rebekah's face as she steps in to give Elena a hug. Stefan backs down to give them their space.

"Congratulations!" Rebekah squeaks.

"Thank you," Elena smiles.

"Elena!" another voice comes from down the hallway. Elena sees Caroline running towards them over Rebekah's shoulder.

"Caroline," Elena lets Rebekah go, "Just the person I wanted to see. I have some happy news," she says when Caroline arrives closer.

"Me too," her face is serious, "At least I think it's good news," she frowns before she smiles, "You go first, though."

"I got into Princeton!" she says instantly.

Caroline's lips pull into a smile, "Oh my God, Elena!" she opens her arms and pulls Elena in her embrace, "Congrats," she squeaks into Elena's ear. "I know it's not Harvard, but.."

"But it's better," Elena says before Caroline gets a chance to finish her sentence.

Caroline smiles as she pulls herself out of her friends embrace.

"Now, what did you want to tell me?" Elena asks as excitedly as she made her announcement.

"Right," Caroline stills her look on Elena, "Well, we were just having our weekly Prom committee meeting, and we found out Prom king and queen nominees."

"Caroline," Elena warns, "You know I was never interested in that stuff."

"I know," Caroline exhales, "But you might as well be now."

A frown appears on Elena's face. "And why is that?"

"You're one of the nominees."

Elena's eyes pop out of her eye sockets and her lips part in disbelief. "What?" husky voice escapes her throat. "That's not possible."

"Actually, it is very possible," Rebekah concludes, "You're with Stefan now, and he's a shoe win for the king."

Caroline nods. "We had to add a nominee because it can't be a one man competition."

"Katherine will be pissed," Rebekah grins.

"I think so too," Caroline agrees, "She's been bringing us cookies for a week now."

"Where did she make them? In Hell?" Elena frowns at the mention of Katherine.

Rebekah laughs out loud, tapping Elena on the shoulder.

"She can't possibly think I oppose any real competition," Elena says angrily. She can't be bothered with that whole Prom thing business.

"The thing is, you do," Caroline tries to show her how serious the whole thing is, "She only had two more nominee votes than you."

Elena's expression becomes serious all of a sudden.

"And she knows people will buy this whole couple routine because it's cute," Rebekah adds.

"They're going to post the list on the bulletin board soon," Caroline warns her, "And expect Katherine to make a great deal about it, because you're her only serious opponent. Everyone know Sally is nominated because she slept with half of the school, and everyone feel bad for Mindy because someone uploaded those pictures of her kissing her dog with a tongue on Facebook."

She remembers those. Poor Mindy. It was funny as hell, though, especially the one where the dog tried to fight her off.

"May the force be with you, young padawan," Stefan puts his hand on her shoulder.

Elena looks up at him. "You're actually a huge geek, aren't you?" she furrows her brows at him.

He shakes his head. "Your geek," he presses his lips against hers.

Her geek. She could live with that.

* * *

By 10pm, Stefan's house is full of people. Everyone are drinking, dancing and once Elena arrives, everyone are congratulating her on the Princeton acceptance and Prom queen nomination, many of them already giving her their vote.

She smiles in their direction, thanking them politely, even though she doesn't really care.

She never cared about being the Prom queen. She thought the whole thing is incredibly silly, designed for girls who think High School is the highlight of their life. And for the most of them, it is, mostly because they spend their whole life based on that thought. Life is so much more than four years of your life you either spend invisible or proving everyone you're better than them. And once you leave it you realize you're none of those things because the rest of the world doesn't care if you were a Prom queen or a head cheerleader or the kid who had no friends.

"You look amazing," she feels his arms wrapping around her waist, and his fingers going down her bare legs, then moving back up and disappearing under the hem of her dress. She puts her hands on his so she can stop everyone from seeing her panties. "You're so not fun," he whispers into her ear, his lips scraping against her earlobe, hot air coming out of his mouth making her shiver. She smiles, still feeling his fingertips on the skin under her dress, slowly and gently caressing her.

"Oh?" she gasps, closing the space between their bodies, pressing her bottom onto his groin. "No fun?" she asks quietly with a smokey voice as she slowly starts circling with her ass.

He groans into her ear. "Tease," he says irritated, pushing her away from him, "I'm going to get you a drink."

"Little Gilbert," she turns around towards the direction of the voice and sees Damon smirking at her, Rebekah under his arm.

"Damon," Elena greets him, giving Rebekah a kiss on the cheek.

"Rebekah, do you know the last time I've seen this girl she and my brother were playing doctor?" Elena remembers herself forcing Stefan into being a patient every single time. "And now she's giving him a hard on," he grins.

Rebekah laughs, and Elena's cheeks cover in blush.

"Aren't you a little too old for this party, Damon?" Elena teases him, grinning right back at him.

He doesn't let himself get sidetracked, though. "I like my fruit fresh," he pulls Rebekah closer to himself, and she plants a kiss on his cheek.

Before she gets a chance to say something witty in return, another voice distracts her, "Look who's here," she turns around only to see Katherine standing behind her, her hands on her hips, "Peasant going for the crown."

Here we go.

"Tell me," she makes her curls fly to her back, exposing the pink blush on her tanned cheeks, "How did you do it?"

"Do what?" she crosses her arms on her chest.

Katherine huffs, like her question was supposed to be obvious. "Got nominated."

A frown disappears from Elena's face. "Well unlike you, I didn't have to bribe them."

The expression on Katherine's face becomes serious. "You know the only reason you got nominated is because you're dating Stefan, right?"

"You know that I don't care, right?" Elena says cockily.

"Good," Katherine exhales, pretending to be relieved, "I'd hate to see tears on your face when you lose against me," she puts her hand on the spot where her heart is supposed to be, if she has one to begin with, and pretends to be hurt.

If there's a person who can get Elena irritated it's Katherine Pierce. And Nicki Minaj, but that's a whole other topic.

All of a sudden, she wants to win. Just to prove Katherine she can. That she can beat her and win the crown not just because she's dating Stefan. Katherine should pull her head out of the clouds. If anything, she's doing her a favor.

"Well save your tears because you're the one who might end up crying."

Katherine chuckles. "Do you even know anything about Prom campaign? Because I pretty much had one since I was a fetus."

Makes sense, devil always plans ahead. She probably has a plan A, then B, then C. The whole alphabet.

"My campaign manager is on the Prom committee, so I would say she knows a thing or two about Prom campaigns," Elena smirks.

Katherine's face expression becomes serious.

"I'm your campaign manager?" Elena hears Caroline's voice coming from behind her.

Where did she come from?

She turn around, "Of course you are," and gives Caroline a look.

Caroline squeals from joy.

"Is that even allowed?" Katherine asks bitterly.

Doesn't she watch Game of Thrones?

"Everything is fair in love and war," Elena grins at her.

Katherine's face becomes pale and she has no other choice but to turn around and walk away.

"Why is that girl so familiar to me?" Damon wonders.

Elena turns around to him, clearly still annoyed by Katherine's presence. "Maybe because your brother has been fucking her."

Damon smirks, relishing in Elena's still present jealousy. And he knows that kind of a jealousy never goes away. Because that feeling is not based on bitterness, but on knowledge someone else has a part of the person you love, which means one less part for you to meet. It's selfish, but it's a human emotion. It's what drives us.

"My brother has been fucking many girls."

"I know, but none of them keep hovering in front of my eyes all the time, reminding me of it. Verbally," Elena hisses the last word out through her teeth.

"I can't believe I'm going to be your campaign manager," Caroline says excitedly, like she hasn't even heard anything Elena said since she assigned her the job, "I have so many plans," she takes her phone out and starts writing on it wildly.

Oh God, Elena thinks to herself, what have I done?

"Now you have more than a big chance of winning," Rebekah comments, still clinging onto Damon's arm, "Katherine like Leonardo DiCaprio of High School, she just can't win."

* * *

When he brings her the drink she sips it down in one gulp, grabs his wrist and leads him up the stairs. He follows her confused, but he doesn't ask anything. Not until she opens his bedroom door and pushes him roughly on the bed.

She reaches for the zipper of her navy blue dress and pulls it down, the dress slowly falling down her body without her even having to push it down.

"Elena, someone is going to catch us," he eyes her wearily.

"So what?" she furrows her brows before a smirk appears on her face, "Doesn't that make it that much more exciting?" she asks, waiting for his reaction.

She doesn't get one, though. He just keeps eyeing her, confused by the person standing in front of him.

All of the confusion disappears when he finally realizes his girlfriend is standing in front of him half naked.

The only thing better than seeing Elena naked is seeing her in lingerie. Lucky him, she had impeccable taste that goes alongside her slender figure. He loved seeing bright colors on her tanned skin, with her tan lines peeking out.

He got up from the bed, wanting to take her in his embrace, only to be pushed down back on the bed.

"A-a," she waved her finger at him, smirk present on her face, "You don't get to touch," she used her seductive voice for those words, "Not yet."

Surprise was evident on his face.

It's not that sex with Elena was bad, far from that, it was probably the best sex he had in his life by now. It was a completely different experience, one he enjoyed a lot more than the previous ones. But he knew what to expect from her. He knew what she likes and what she doesn't like and in which position are they most likely to have sex in. She was inexperienced and he didn't feel a need to ask her to try something new because, for now, he was perfectly content with their sex life.

But if she wants to take the lead, who is he to protest?

She walks closer to him, slowly, one leg in front of the other, bends and kisses him on the lips. His hands fly in the direction of her waist instinctively, almost like a reflex. But she catches his hands in mid air, and lowers them back to the bed.

She exhales, faking disappointment, and walks to the other side of the bed, kneeling on the edge of it.

"Where do you want to touch me?" she asks, pulling her fingertips over her arms because she knows he loves to trail the length of her arms with his fingers. "Here?" her fingers move to her stomach, circling on it, folding her hips slightly.

His hands shiver, his fingers crumbling the bed covers. He has a feeling every bone in his arm will break if she doesn't stop.

If she doesn't let him touch her.

Her hands fly to her back and he can hear the clasp of her bra getting undone. The straps slide down her arms, and he gulps.

She takes her bra off and throws it behind herself, on the other side of the room.

She slowly trails her fingertips over her stomach to her chest, cupping her breasts. "Or here?" he's mesmerized by the movement of her hands.

"Or.." her hands start traveling down her body, her fingers disappearing behind her panties, "Maybe here?" she bites her lower lip before she starts moving her hand inside of her panties and a pleasurable expression appears on her face.

She starts moving her hand faster, her lips parting a little, silent moan escaping her throat.

He thinks how he had never seen anything hotter.

She pulls her fingers out of her panties rapidly, gets on all four and starts crawling towards him across the bed.

She puts her hand on his shaft, and when she feels, over his jeans, how hard he got, a smirk appears on her lips.

She props herself up, helping him to take his shirt off, and when she pulls it over his head, his lips fall on her breasts, gently sucking her nipples.

She enjoys it for a moment or two before her fingers disappear in his hair and she yanks his head away.

"I said no touching," she looks into his eyes, "That includes your lips."

She plants a gentle kiss on his lips before turning around and getting back on all four.

"Do you know this is the easiest position to reach climax?" she asks him, wiggling her ass before him.

Something gets stuck in his throat. Probably his breath, but he doesn't even care. If he chokes now, he will die as a happy man.

"I do," he finds his voice, "But how do you know?"

She smirks at him as her hand goes down her body and her fingers travel back in her panties.

"I did some research," she answers, "They say this position puts most pressure to the woman's G-spot."

He keeps monitoring her hand as it quickens its pace inside of her panties.

"Do you want to fuck me like this?" she asks him, need evident in her eyes as much as in his.

He nods quickly because he feels like there's fire inside of his throat.

"What are you waiting for then?" she smiles at him.

He gets rid of the rest of his clothes, probably the fastest in his life. He crawls behind her, pushing her panties down. She removes her fingers for them, allowing him to. He throws them in the same direction she threw her bra in.

He feels up her ass, squeezing it a little, before moving his fingers to her slit and pulling it up and down, making her ass jerk towards him. He smirks because he knows it's his time to tease her now.

And maybe he would do it longer if he didn't feel like he's going to explode.

He positions his member in front of her entrance and starts pushing it inside slowly. When it's halfway in, he pushes the rest of it all at once, making her gasp in surprise because his move was unexpected.

He puts his hands on her hips, holding onto her as he starts pushing inside of her, filling her in completely. This time he doesn't allow her to get used to him inside of her, he starts pushing rapidly, making her pant heavily after just a minute.

Her screams are piercing and he knows there's a great chance someone can hear them if anyone is standing in the close proximity of his room. If there wasn't for music blasting from downstairs everybody would be able to hear her.

"Have I ever told you how tight you are?" his fingers move to the her stomach, sliding over it slightly.

A silent _no_ escapes in the form of a moan.

"Stefan," she says his name through a scream, "Harder, please," so he fulfills her wish and quickens his pace. A pleasurable cry flows over her lips. "You're so deep," she barely manages to say, thinking how he's never been so deep before. She can feel him hitting against her cervix.

His fingers get tangled in her hair when, all of a sudden, he pulls the ends of her hair and yanks her up, pulling her whole body up, her back pressing onto his chest. She gasps in surprise.

He keeps pushing inside of her while she's being propped against him. His lips fly to her neck and he starts planting kisses there. His hands move to her breasts and start playing with them, squeezing them lightly, pulling on her nipples. Her hair gets stuck in between their bodies, gluing to their skin thanks to sweat.

"Stefan, please, let me come," she practically begs him, feeling like her insides are going to explode, her heart pounding wildly against her chest.

He smiles against the skin of her neck while one of his hands moves down her body and starts stimulating her clitoris.

She cries out in pleasure, calling out his name. One of her hands falls on top of his, and the other flies to her mouth when she realizes she's too loud.

"I want you to come too," she whispers, her throat dry, "I want us to come together."

She can feel him nod against her head as his hand starts moving faster and faster.

He moves his hand from her chest and wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, and she can feel climax building inside of her.

"I'm going to come," she cries out to him, and he can feel her squeezing around him, every muscle in her body tightening, and as she comes, he comes too.

She falls on the bed and rolls onto her back, and as she does, he falls on top of her and plants a gentle kiss on her lips.

"We're so doing this again," he says with a smile on his face.

She laughs and throws her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss.

* * *

**I have too much time on my hands.**


	28. Chapter 28

He comes close the front door of her house, his hand slightly shaking as his finger lands on a doorbell buzzer.

A woman in her thirties, with strawberry blonde curls bouncing on her shoulders, opens the front door and he thinks how this must be her aunt.

"You must be Stefan," the woman greets him warmly, making the door fly wide open and allowing him to step into the house, "I'm Jenna," she stretches her hand out in his direction, "I've heard so much about you. I'm glad to finally meet you."

Stefan takes her hand into his and shakes it gently, "Likewise," he smiles charmingly into her direction.

"Elena will be down in a minute," Jenna informs him.

"And she actually looks decent," his look lands on Elena's cousin, April. He remembers her from chaperoning her date with his cousin Dylan. He wonders how things are going between them. Well, how can things go between two people who barely got out of diapers?

Jenna ignores her daughters words. "She looks amazing," she says with a wide smile on her face, "I helped her pick out her dress," she says proudly.

"No need to brag, Jenna," Elena's voice comes rushing down from the top of the stairs and all three of them look into her direction.

Stefan's jaw basically drops down on the floor. His throat gets dry while Jenna squeals upon seeing her niece. Even April looks satisfied, and surprised, by Elena's presence.

She's wearing a long, white dress that looks more like a gown than an ordinary Prom dress. It's strapless, and has a small cleavage, making her breasts pop out of it elegantly rather than cheap. Even though her bra probably plays a better part in it than the dress does since the material is pretty light and lose on her skin, doesn't make her look like she's going to suffocate any minute now. It's tight around her waist though, but gracefully tight, pointing out her slender figure, flat stomach and slightly curved hips.

When it reaches her hips it starts detaching itself from her body into a bell, light, natural crumbles on the downside of the snowy white dress.

Her hair is curly and lifted up into a high pony tail, only two curly strains hanging by the side of her head for decoration.

There is some make up on her face, more than usual, even though the blush on her cheeks is more natural than artificial.

When she notices the blissful expression on his face she lowers her look down, takes her dress in between her fingertips and lifts it off the ground, walking down the steps. As she lifts the dress up her silver shoes become visible under it.

He's mesmerized by the sight in front of him, trying to remember the last time he had seen something so beautiful, trying to realize how many more faces she can show to him, and which one is his favorite.

When she reaches the floor she lets go of her dress which falls back to scraping the ground with its hem. She stands in front of him, her look shyly searching for his, and after few moments he finally snaps out of his fantasy.

"You look.." he tries to find the right word, but there's not a word good enough to describe how wonderful she looks. Charming? Beautiful? Magnificent?

Angelic?

"Thank you," she replies once she notices his struggle with words. Because she knows exactly what he means, even if he's unable to say it. "I don't think I've ever seen you in a tux," she puts her open palms on his chest, feeling up the fabric of his tux, the look in her eyes giving him a signal she likes this look on him. Now when she's wearing heels she's the same height as him so there's no need to step on her toes to kiss him.

"Eww," April makes a loud noise, "I'm going to be sick. I think I liked it better when they hated each other," irritated, she exits the room.

But this time Elena doesn't react to her words, she's too content to care. But Jenna follows her daughter with a look before she turns her look back to her niece and her date, a bright smile appearing on her face.

"Pictures!" Jenna squeals, reaching for her camera.

After she takes a few million shots of the happy couple, Stefan puts a beautiful white lily corsage decorated with sea blue ribbon and snow white pearls. Jenna releases another squeal as he slides a corsage bracelet around her wrist, and Elena smiles widely.

When they exit the house, Elena stops in the middle of the porch.

"Stefan," his name escapes her mouth in the form of a gasp when her look lands on the limo in front of the house. Her hand flies for his and she grabs his fingers with hers, squeezing them tightly, wide eyed.

He brings his lips closer to her ear and whispers, "Only the best for my queen."

* * *

Caroline did an amazing job on her Prom campaign. Elena gave her complete freedom and Caroline came up with most creative things. Unlike Katherine, she tried to stay away from gifts, she said she doesn't want to buy people with which Elena was completely fine with.

She curled her arm around Stefan's and he kissed the side of her head. They stepped into a decorated gym full of people dancing and chatting away.

Caroline did an amazing job with the decorations as well. There was a whole team included but Caroline was on the head of it, as usual. Caroline is always on the head of everything.

There's a big arch made out of white and sky blue balloons on the entrance, and the ceiling of the gym is full of the balloons as well.

Artificial snow is placed on the sides of the gym, and there are plastic, silver snowflakes hanging from the ceiling.

The DJ is placed in the back of the room and in front of him there's a dance floor with few people already dancing. Majority of them is still sitting by round tables covered in ruffled table cloth, and on chairs covered in silky vanilla color material with big bows tied around the chairs.

In the middle of the gym there's an ice sculpture, of which she can't tell from such a distance.

Where the most people are at must be where the punch bowl is. Elena wonders has Caroline actually went with punch or something else since punch is so cliche and Caroline hates anything and everything that is cliche. Or maybe it's tradition.

Sometimes it's hard to make the two apart.

People keep telling them how they're going to win, for sure, and girls keep losing their breath over her dress. She blushes even more because she's not used to that much of attention. Stefan finds it adorable so he keeps kissing her burning cheeks over and over and over again until he remembers they have to get their photos taken.

"Elena!" they hear Rebekah's voice as they step down from the photo stage.

Rebekah is basically running towards them, pulling Damon behind herself. He has an annoyed and confused expression on his face.

Guess Rebekah found enough courage to ask him to come after all. He probably did it for her, not kids five years younger than him who are trying to spike the punch.

Love is loving something other person love just because they love it and you love them. And it's so simple a child could understand it. After all, children love most beautifully.

They don't love for profit or superficial reasons. They just love. Innocently and with their whole heart, not worrying about getting hurt.

Maybe because they don't even know than love includes pain, or because they know it all too well.

"Your dress!" Rebekah squeals, taking the bottom of her dress in between her fingertips and taking a closer look.

Rebekah is wearing an icy blue dress with bits of silver on it and, to Stefan's surprise, it's long rather than short.

Stefan engages into a conversation with Damon since he's one of the few people Damon can talk with.

"It's not like the one from the magazine.." Elena wiggles her lips, waiting for Rebekah's judgement.

Rebekah raises her look from the dress to Elena and smiles widely. "It's better," she lets go of her dress and her hand instantly flies to find Damon's, "It looks perfect on you. Don't you agree, sweetie?" she nudges Damon with her elbow.

Sweetie. They sound like a married couple.

Sometimes Stefan calls her nicknames as well. Rarely in public, though.

"What?" Damon asks confused, disoriented, pulled away from his conversation with Stefan, "Oh yes," he replies once the question sits in with him, "Both of you look like you fell out of some fashion ad," he compliments them, a smirk present on his face. He pulls Rebekah closer to him, planting a kiss on her cheek, "We got lucky, wouldn't you say so little brother?" Damon says those last two words with a certain amount of affection Elena never heard come out of his mouth before.

Stefan smiles and walks over to Elena, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Very lucky," he continues smiling against the skin of her cheek before planting a kiss there, making her smile as well.

"Come on," Rebekah's fingers wrap around Damon's tie and she pulls him gently by it, "Let's go dance," Damon protests, but Rebekah whispers something into his ear that makes him stop moaning right that instant.

Stefan pulls his arms away from her body, "My lady," he puts his hand before her, "Would you honor me with a dance?" he asks, smiling into her direction.

She blushes, putting her hand into his, feeling his fingers wrap around hers. "With pleasure."

* * *

Stefan wins the Prom King, which doesn't come as a surprise to anyone. Everyone were expecting it, but they clap excitedly anyway, faking surprise.

He fakes surprise as well, looking content, but Elena knows that he doesn't care about these things any more than she does. He's just being polite.

He never needed anyone's recognition. But he's still open enough to accept it when offered.

Caroline came running to them, pushing people in front of herself away, Tyler one step behind her, yelling they finished counting the votes. Elena ends up calming her down, not the other way around.

If she wins it will be more of Caroline's victory so she hopes she does win for Caroline's sake. Because, for some reason, these things mean the world to Caroline.

"And our Prom Queen is," Dana opens the envelope with the winner's name in it. Elena looks over at Mindy who's biting her lip, then at Katherine on whose face, she swears, she can see drops of sweat, and Sally is nowhere to be found.

Well, it's pretty clear what Sally is doing, they do not call her _wide legs Sally _for noreason at all.

"You guys have to know this has been a pretty tight fight," she pulls the folded paper out of the envelope, "Only few votes apart," she unfolds the paper, wiggling her lips, "But few votes are enough," Katherine's fingers clench into a fist, she's clearly tired of waiting, "This years Prom Queen is Elena Gilbert!"

Of course it's Katherine.

Wait. What?

She won?

People start clapping and shouting, and Caroline squeals loudly.

The light falls on her, blinding her for a second, but she starts moving anyway. She wants to see Katherine's reaction but she can't from the sea of people surrounding her.

The victory took her by surprise. After Dana read her name she realized she never expected to win. Despite her threats to Katherine she never believed she stands a chance.

She can hear Caroline squealing even after she moves away from her, and she's glad that she won because that means Caroline had won as well. This whole campaign has been her idea and she probably got a lot of people into voting with her ideas.

She climbs on the stage, people still clapping and cheering, tirelessly, and her look meets Stefan's. His hands are behind his back, the crown already on his head and he's smiling at her. He's smirking more than he's smiling.

Dana gives her a bouquet of flowers and puts a tiara on her head, gently and slowly, careful not to mess up her hair.

She gives her a warm smile before taking a microphone back in her hands and speaking to the crowd once again. She doesn't hear a word Dana says because her look keeps playing with Stefan's. He's teasing her.

The next thing she knows he's making few steps towards her, putting her arm on her back and bending her a little before pressing his lips against hers. As he does so, everyone cheer and shout more loudly. He detaches his lips from hers, takes her hand and leads her to the dance floor. Caroline rushes over to take the bouquet out of Elena's hands so she's able to dance.

Stefan puts one of his hands on her back. Her skin trembles when she feels his fingertips pressing onto her skin through a light material of her dress. Her hand flies instantly to the side of his waist. He reaches for her other hand and intertwines their fingers, bringing their joined hands in the air.

And as the song starts playing, they start dancing.

_Heart beats fast, colors and promises, how to be brave?_

"So," he says casually, holding her look with his, "Elena Gilbert, a Prom Queen," he lets it all sink in.

"Apparently," she says, rolling her eyes at him, subtly so no one notices. She can feel all of the eyes on them.

"I bet that, somewhere deep inside of you, there'a an angry nine year old screaming at you, commanding you not to enjoy this moment," he pulls her closer to him, desperate for their bodies to touch. So she allows him, so she melts into him. "Because this moment is everything you stand against."

Elena chuckles. "There are no angry nine year old's inside of me," she tries to convince him, but she can hear her voice failing.

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall, but watching you stand alone, all of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow._

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I've seen her every now and then," he nuzzles his nose against her cheek, "Don't you know darling? I know you inside out," he whispers into her ear and she shivers. "I can see her now and she's extremely annoyed because I'm right," his fingertips travel up and down her back, sending delicious shivers down her spine, making her tremble in his embrace like a butterfly with broken wings, "Her long, brown hair is tied into a tail, there are bruises on her naked knees, always present from climbing into that damn tree house. She has her arms crossed on her chest and there's a pout on her face," his leans his cheek on hers, their skin touching, "Because she hates how I'm always right."

_One step closer.._

He knows her. He knows her so well it scares her. It makes her want to jump out of her skin and run away because there's another person who knows her as well as she knows herself. Maybe even better.

He's living inside of her head, not only occupying her thoughts, he's becoming part of them, giving them an ability to decide for themselves even if everything else in her body is screaming no.

He owns one part of her. Or every part. He's holding that nine year old girl who believes in dragons and princesses trapped inside of a tower on the palm of his hand, and he's holding an eighteen year old girl who is letting herself enjoy this moment on the palm of his other hand. And both of them got comfortable there.

She wants to run, but she doesn't. Because when you love someone you stay even when you want to run.

Especially when you want to run.

_I have died everyday waiting for you, darlin' don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more._

"So," she clears her throat, "We never talked about how you feel like about us going to the same college," she asks, using her half serious, half teasing voice.

"I'm ecstatic," he answers instantly, honestly, "If I could, I would live in the same room as you."

"That would have its perks," she teases him, and he growls right back at her.

"There would also be down sides," he concludes, "Like both of us failing exams."

"Plus, you wouldn't even have the freedom to glance at those overly attractive college girls."

"I don't need to glance at other girls."

"No?"

_Time stands still, beauty in all she is, I will be brave, I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me._

His grip on her back tightens and he tips her down, their noses touching as he brings his face closer to hers. She keeps her look locked on his, looking at him with a mix of surprise and adoration, and he returning her the look of pure love and happiness, something you rarely see in the eyes of a grown person.

Which is when Elena realizes there's no nine year old boy locked inside of him.

He is that nine year old boy.

He always has been, and probably always will be, only adjusting to life as time goes on.

His lips scrape against hers, but he doesn't kiss her, he only gives her a taste of what they have, and the taste is..

..heavenly.

She feels like they created something out of this world and she decides to protect it with everything she is and everything she has for as long as she can. She decides to keep him for as long as time allows her, worrying it's a little selfish to ask life to let her keep him forever.

He props her back up which is when she notices other couples have joined them for a dance now.

_Every breath, e__very hour has come to this._

He shakes his head slightly, clearly planning to continue where they left off.

"I'm irreversibly, catastrophically, eternally in love with you," he says silently, through a whisper, treating those words as a gift for her ears only, too afraid someone will try to steal them.

_One step closer.._

He can feel her get still, and tense, in his arms.

"Irreversibly," he repeats the word, "Because there's not a thing in this world that could make me stop loving you," his fingers play with the material of her dress on her waist, "I'm always going to love you, even when you're grey and old, even if you're not mine anymore, you have to know that I'll be sitting in my armchair on a Sunday afternoon, watching the game and I'll be thinking of you," her heart starts beating faster, and as he breathes out she breathes in, hiding her face in the collar of his tux to stop the tears.

"Catastrophically," he moves to the next word, "Because you ruined me, Elena," a light chuckle escapes his throat, "You ruined me physically and mentally and emotionally for everything that may come in the future because nothing and no one will ever compare to you."

_I have died everyday waiting for you, darlin' don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more._

"And eternally," he says the last word gently, "Because screw that _'even if you're not mine anymore'_ I've said earlier. I'll be watching a Sunday game in my armchair and you will be sitting right there next to me, reading your favorite book to our grandchildren and I won't say a word because when you read," he inhales deeply, "I fall in love with you a little bit more."

She lets go of his hand and clings onto his tux, tears soaking the black material her face is pressed onto.

He moves his hands to her back and wraps her into his embrace.

She wants to say something in return but she knows that whatever words come out of her mouth won't be good enough.

She wishes she can offer him more, not knowing she's offering him more than enough.

How can he think about eternity, when she can't even think about a month ahead. And she's the only who has to plan ahead.

His words are so sweet she lets herself soak in them even if there's a big chance they will never become reality.

Eternity. Not unless eternity is tomorrow, and day after that, and day after that, and so on..

Maybe she does understand eternity after all.

_And all along I believed __I would find you, t__ime has brought y__our heart to me.._

They stay in that position for few minutes before her arms fly around his neck and he moves his hands down to her hips.

She raises her face to him, her eyes glossy and her cheeks puffy from crying.

"So, now that I'm officially your Queen," she teases him, "How can I make my King happy?"

"Well, there is one thing.."

_I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more._

"Let me guess," she rolls her eyes, "Limo sex?"

"How did you know?" he cocks his eyebrow in her direction.

"I thought, it's so movie cliche, it must be on Stefan's to do list."

"So," he rolls his eyes, "How does the Queen feels about it?"

She laughs out loud.

"Queen feels very positive about it."

* * *

**AN: I like to think this is the Prom they deserved to have.**

**The song I used is A Thousand Years by Christina Perri.**


	29. Chapter 29

Her mind travels back to the beginning of the year. She remembers the person she was a year ago. Person she was four years ago.

She's still the same person. She still cries whenever the episode of her favorite show ends, and chick flicks amuse her to no end, and once she gets into a book there's not a person in the world who can shake her out of it. Same things still make her happy, and same things still make her sad. She still wants to adopt every puppy with big brown eyes she sees, and she still puts too much salt on her popcorn. She still believes tea and ice cream can fix everything, or at least those superficial wounds. And by now even Stefan learned that she needs her morning coffee so now, every time she wakes up, there's a cup of coffee waiting for her. A spoon of sugar, spoonful of milk and some whipped cream.

Rebekah says Stefan is as whipped as the cream itself to which he replies he's not whipped, he's just happy. Rebekah is joking anyway, because if anyone is whipped, it's Damon.

But then, she's a completely different person. She had learned a lot about herself in the past year. About who has been hiding deep inside of her, unable to speak, because she had shackled that girl to a solid rock. She started valuing herself more. She realized there are people who would miss her if she disappeared. When she looked at the mirror in the morning she didn't see someone who's not worth loving, she would see a girl who's already loved.

She always hated the thought of depending on someone else, but in a way she depends on Stefan. If she said he changed her she would be taking it too far. People can't really change people, they can push them to be worse, or inspire to be better. Stefan did the second thing, he inspired her to be more. He was like one piece of machinery missing, that one crucial part that made her think lighter, look at things brighter and love better. He made her appreciate things she had no appreciation of before, and he also made her appreciate what she already has.

Most of all, he made her appreciate herself. He turned her flaws into something without which she wouldn't be herself, therefor a vital part of her being, not something ugly she should want to get rid of. He pointed out her intelligence is not something she should be hiding, but flaunting, because she has so much to give to others. He appreciates her sarcasm and made her more confident about her smile by smiling at the sight of it himself. And she loved seeing him smile. He's always telling her how beautiful she is, and after some time she started seeing it by herself. It didn't make her self obsessed, it made her aware of who she is and the power she holds, especially over him. Because she knows the ways to make him feel so small on the palm of her hand but she tries not to take advantage of those ways. He helped her enjoy life and accept herself emotionally and physically, even revel in the joys of it. Before, she would blush at the mention of sex because she thought sex is just.. sex. And he proved her wrong without even trying. Just by the way he made her feel.

And she hopes she's able to give him at least half of what he's giving to her.

She's so far away from where she thought she will be. And somehow, the place she found herself in is more attractive than the place she wanted to be at.

She's not going to Harvard, but to Princeton. Maybe Princeton has been her wish all along, or maybe it's just where she's supposed to be with. Maybe she's supposed to be by Stefan's side, and he really doesn't care where he plays football as long as he's playing.

She's not single, she's in love. Something she wanted to experience but never thought she will have a chance to. She thought it is too late for that wish.

She's not even standing on that stage, giving a speech, since she's the third best in the class, but somehow even that is enough. Tastes like the first place.

She's sitting on that uncomfortable, plastic chair, wrapped into a silky, red robe, matching hat flattening her hair, her family is somewhere in the back, no matter how small it might be, Jenna is probably crying her eyes out, Jeremy is consoling her and April is rolling her eyes at her mothers behavior while Alaric is just hovering in the background like he usually does. Her friends are near her and Stefan is holding her hand with his and everything is so imperfectly perfect.

They receive their diplomas, the valedictorian finishes his speech and they throw their hats in the air. There's a shower of silky, satin balls in the mid air before each of the hats falls back to their rightful owner.

They run over to their families. Elena can see Stefan slowly walking to the man with a straight face expression and a tired woman she knows as his parents. She has met them but never spoke too much with them. The only one who looks happy is Damon, and she is happy he has at least someone. She rushes to her own family, and she was right, Jenna has been crying. The space around her eyes is red and puffy, but there's a wide, proud smile on her face. She pulls Elena into a tight hug and Elena puts her hands on Jenna's back. She's really happy to have Jenna, she was huge pole of support ever since her mom died, and ever since her dad became an absent parent. Jenna was also the only person willing to talk about her mom with her. Alaric taps her on the back, and Jeremy pulls her into a hug after Jenna releases her. Even April gives her a hug. They're planning to take her out for lunch, so she tells them to wait for her by the car until she confirms plans with her friends. There's a big Graduation party in the Grill this evening.

Stefan is already waiting for her by the fence.

"Hmm," she hums amused, getting his robe in between her fingers, "My boyfriend looks so sexy in a dress," she teases him, her look playful.

"Oh?" he cocks his eyebrow in her direction, "Maybe I should wear them more often, then," he puts his hands on her back and pulls her closer to him, trapping her in his embrace. Somehow she wiggles her trapped arms and wraps them around his waist.

She gets on her toes and presses her lips against his ear, "I like you naked more, though," she whispers to him seductively.

He groans. "You're driving me insane, woman," he moans silently, because she really is.

Whenever she presses next to him, he can feel his sanity slipping away and going crazy never felt so satisfactory.

"Elena?" they hear a tight and strict voice coming from behind them, and on the sound of it Elena freezes. She gets tense in Stefan's arms, and after few moments tries to wiggle out of his embrace. He lets her.

Slowly, she turns around, and when her voice escapes her throat, it's husky and silent. "Dad?" she says. Her hand flies to Stefan's, for support. She finds it, and feels how tense he is. Angry. His chest is falling and rising rapidly.

She told him about her dad after his last visit. She never wanted to because she knew he will get angry, but she couldn't hide the redness on her cheek or the sadness in her eyes.

She tightens her grasp on Stefan's hand, telling him everything is okay, so he calms down a little.

"Your aunt gave me a call," he says, his voice getting lighter, "Pointing out my recent actions were shameful," he lowers his head at the memory, "Wrong," he releases sadly.

She doesn't know what to say in return. She just stands there, her body buried next to Stefan's, her voice stuck inside of her throat.

He raises his head when after few minutes she doesn't say anything.

He meets her confused face with tears in his eyes. The lines of her face soften upon seeing him like that, with the face of a man she knew once upon a time. Man who carried her on his shoulders and attended every one of her ballet recitals. Father he once was.

"This is Stefan," she puts her palm on Stefan's chest, asking him to behave, for her, and at the same time showing her father she wants to share something important with him.

"I remember Stefan," the corners of his lips pull into a light smile.

Stefan and her father shake their hands, and Elena asks him to join them for lunch. She says her goodbyes to Stefan, until this evening, and strolls towards the car alongside her father.

* * *

They attend the party, but when the clock ticks midnight they drive off to the school lot and lie in the grass next to each other.

Elena nervously plucks the grass with her fingers, counting the stars, while Stefan plays with the hem of her shirt. Thousand of thoughts invade her mind, while she's the only thing on his. That's how it usually goes, he takes care of her and she takes care of everything else. It's like a silent deal they made between each other.

He finally pulls the hem of her light, sheer orange top up and reveals her naked stomach.

When his lips meet her skin, shivers attack the inner side of her body and she trembles slightly.

"You are perfect," he says each word in between the kisses he plants onto her stomach.

She laughs lightly, maybe even a bit of pain evident in her voice, before she shakes her head against the grass and says, "You make me perfect."

He falls onto his back and pulls her with himself, making her fall onto his chest. He doesn't even take her by surprise considering how often he does it. In his arms she's as light as a feather.

Her head fall on his chest and her hair sprawls all around him. She puts her hands on his shoulders, clinging onto him so she doesn't roll off. He puts his arms around him, not letting her to.

His fingers creep inside of her shirt and he starts caressing her back lightly.

She sighs.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks.

"How in few months we won't be here anymore," she exhales tiredly, even sadly, "Everything will be different, everything will change."

"It doesn't have to."

"But it will."

He doesn't know what to say to that. Sometimes best answers are those spoken in silence.

"Both Bonnie and Caroline will be so far away from me. I'll just miss them, is all," she comments, a certain kind of heaviness pressing onto her chest. She knows she will see them from time to time, but not as often as she would like to. Her words make him think which is when he actually realizes how far from Rebekah, and everyone else, he will be. And it makes him incredibly sad.

"I know it's not the same, but you will have me," he tries to console her, but she detects a feeling he thinks he's not good enough in his voice.

"I'm so grateful I'll have you there with me, Stefan," she tries to show him he's more than enough, "I love you so much, so incredibly much," he squeezes her closer to him upon hearing those words, "You're not just my boyfriend or the person I sleep with, you see," she says huskily, "You're my best friend as well."

He plants a kiss on the top of her head.

"I have to tell you something."

"Shoot."

"I thought I was pregnant."

He stops caressing her back and his body tenses under hers.

"Relax, Stefan," she laughs out loud, "You're not going to be a daddy."

He exhales in relief. When they started having sex she told him she's on a birth control, but insisted on using a condom as well. And then, after some time, she decided it's not necessary anymore, and he put no complaints to it.

"I didn't tell you because.." she furrows her brows, "Well, I don't know why, I guess I thought there's no point to talk about it since it's a false alarm. But I don't like hiding things from you, I want to be completely honest, especially with the things like this that concern us both."

"I'm glad you told me."

"Stefan?"

"Yes."

"Did you mean the things you said at Prom?" she asks curiously.

"Yes," he says instantly without having to give it a second thought, "Every word." Even the ones he didn't say.

"You think that far ahead?"

"No," his answer surprises her, "With you, I don't have to. With you, I know."

She smiles.

"I promise you I will never leave you," he whispers.

"Stefan," she says his name, "Don't make promises you can't keep," she warns him.

"I promise you," he says firmly, "You're not getting out of this so easily, Gilbert."

"Well maybe I don't want to, Salvatore."

The end would feel so bitter if what lies ahead didn't seem so sweet.


	30. Chapter 30

It took her some time to convince her dad that a trip across the country with her friends is completely safe. She didn't know how to explain to him that she would feel the safest with Stefan even if they were in a crashing plane, and she didn't want to bring her mom into it by asking him doesn't he remember how he felt while he was with her. Some parents would wave their hand off at that question, but she knew hers would stop to think because her parents were together since High School. She didn't want to use that as a weapon, nor did she want to use recent events as such. Instead she used good old persuasion, boring him until he finally gives in, and with a little help of Jenna, he broke surprisingly quickly.

Stefan told her they will travel in Damon's old van, even though she didn't know he ever had a van. Stefan told her it's from Damon's old stoner days from college to which she chuckled because she could totally imagine Damon in the back of his van, with greasy, unwashed hair, getting stoned with his friends and talking about.. whatever you talk about when you're high.

She knew she doesn't have to worry about Stefan going through such phase. He's a jock, the biggest poison he carries into his body is chocolate and beer, occasionally some heavier liquor. Plus, he loves his hair way too much to not wash it for days.

They needed something bigger than a normal car since there's six of them traveling together. She wanted to invite Bonnie to join them, Jeremy as well, but Bonnie got an internship in some small record label in New York over the summer, and she left few weeks after school finished. Her and Jeremy broke up, so all Jeremy is doing recently is moping around the house, even though he knows it would never work out, the whole long distance thing. He still has a year of school left, so they would only be able to see each other when she comes home, which would be few times a year. It's a shame really, they were such a nice couple, but they're so young. Eighty percent of High School relationships never works out, which is when Stefan reminds her those that do end up in marriage, which in ninety percent of the cases doesn't result in divorce. Both options send a chill down her body. She's not ready to think about either of them, even though, ever since he brought it up, she gets consumed in the thoughts about the future. Their future.

She was surprised Damon is not going, but Stefan explained that Damon got himself a job in Providence to be close to Rebekah. Nothing but her is keeping him in Mystic Falls, anyway, so if she goes, so does he. Their parents helped him with the apartment, he's going to work, and he's going to be with her. The only downside to the job is that he had to start early in the Summer, so there's no chance for him to travel with them, he's working already.

Those two really do think that far ahead, and Elena couldn't help but wonder is she, subconsciously, doing the same. Is that the real reason why she wasn't so sad when she didn't get into Harvard, because she knew there's a greater chance she will be close to Stefan? She decided to dismiss those thoughts because she knew she will never find a satisfying answer.

They started their trip early in the morning, around five, she couldn't remember exactly since she was so tired Stefan basically had to carry her to the van. She spent the whole night packing, not being able to decide what to take, or what necessities are. Curling iron is a necessity, right?

Caroline and Rebekah would agree, while every guy in the van would disagree. But then again, she's pretty sure lingerie isn't a necessity either, to which Stefan would strongly disagree. So she ended up with a maxi suitcase she was barely able to zip and one traveling bag. Stefan mumbled something about how they're going to Florida for two weeks, not the whole year, as he carried her luggage to the van.

The guys kept taking turns when it came to driving, agreeing none of the girls have to drive only to keep Rebekah away from the wheel because she would most likely kill them all. None of them complained, though.

When they reached Orlando they decided to stop there to take a break. It was early in the night and they have been traveling for the whole day, and everyone were relieved to step out of the stuffy van. They rented three rooms in a small motel by the road, deciding to stay for the night and to head right after breakfast.

All Elena wanted to do is to take a shower. She decided to let Stefan take a quick one before her, so once he was done she was able to stand under the stream until there was no more hot water. Which is exactly what she did. She shampooed herself and just stood there, twirling around, letting water flow everywhere around here, until it went from mildly warm to icy cold.

When she got out of the shower she didn't bother with any clothes since cool night air did wonders to her skin. It felt incredibly good after being trapped in a humid van for the whole day. She just wrapped a towel around herself and let her wet hair fall across her back.

When she opened the bathroom door she caught Stefan sitting on the edge of the bed, holding something in his hands, looking intensely at it. His look was displeasing, and there was a triangle in between his brows. She thought he looks cute, like a little boy trying to solve a mystery.

When he heard her open the door and step out of the bathroom, he hid whatever he was holding in his hands behind his back before Elena got a chance to notice what it is.

She looked at him confused, thinking about what could he want to hide from her. Not that he has to share everything with her or that he's not allowed to have any secrets of his own, but the though of what he wants to hide from her so hastily tickles her imagination.

"What were you doing?" she leans onto the door frame, crossing her arms across her chest.

He looks at her confused, lost, fighting with the words inside of his head.

"Were you watching porn?" she cocks her eyebrow in his direction.

"What?" he furrows his brows, knitting them together, "No," he says offensively, repeating it twice in case she didn't hear him for the first time.

Her lips wiggle under her nose and she brings her arms closer together on her chest, ready to drop the topic because she doesn't want to invade into his privacy anymore. She can see it's making him uncomfortable.

His eyes flicker, glimmer in the direction of her face, before he lowers his look down and puts his hands before him, handing her in his item of hiding. He has the posture of a playful boy who did something wrong and now is shameful of his actions.

He brings her brows closer together, leaving a small empty place between them, and walks towards him, taking them item from his hands into hers.

"It's very confusing, you know?" he puts his hand on the back of his neck, pulling his fingers over the ends of his hair, "Not as much confusing as.." he tries to find the right word, "It has no point," he finally says.

Her eyes widen when her eyes fall on the item in her hands, which is a book. She turns the thick, brown cover around and notices it's "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen. Her favorite book. One of the first book her mom had bought for her.

"I have no idea what's going on, I don't even understand half of the words," he frowns, his look glued on the book.

"Stefan, why would you do this?" she asks curiously, confused by his actions, "You don't even like to read," she says through a light laugh.

He takes his look from the book to her and locks his eyes on hers, "Well maybe that's the problem," he says a little angrily, but he doesn't seem angry at her. He seems more angry at himself.

She puts the book on the nightstand before looking confused at him. "Stefan.." she says his name, in it trying to find an answer.

"We're going to go to college," he says quietly, his eyes still on hers, "I'm going to play football and barely pass the exams, and you're going to go to all these lectures, and study groups and.." he starts speaking more loudly, annoyed by now. She stands before him, confusion still evident on her face.

"I do not know where you're going with this.." she says helplessly.

"It's where you belong," he raises his voice, "Both you and me know the only reason I'm going to college is because I know how to throw a ball."

Stefan never breaks. He's the one who stands even during a tornado, holding her by the hand, not letting the wind blow them away, or from each other. He's the glue of their relationship, she just stands there glued tightly to him. If he breaks, she falls.

He's happy, and satisfied, and sure in everything he has and wants.

But what if he isn't? And what if she had missed it?

"That's not true," she says firmly.

"You're going to meet new people who love what you love and share the same interest with you and you're going to meet some guy with an exotic name and a British accent who's going to know every word of every book in the library by memory and all I'm going to be your stupid, boring, high school boyfriend," he starts panicking and throws his arms in the air, his voice shaky, "I'm going to become a mistake."

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me," she says in her defense, "You're never going to become a mistake to me."

He parts his lips to say something but she doesn't give him a chance.

"Remember how you promised me you're never going to leave me?" she asks.

A small amount of air escapes from his throat. "Yes," he replies silently.

"I promise the same to you," she steps closer to him, putting her hands on his head and pulling her fingers through his hair, "I'm not going to leave you for a guy with an exotic name and a British accent who has read every book in his reach or anyone else," she says gently, calming him down, "You're always going to be my first choice," she whispers to him, lowering her lips down and planting a kiss on the top of his head. "_Us_ are always going to be my first choice."

He wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.

"Plus, have you seen those poetic, artistic guys in college?" she pulls herself away from him, "Pale, underweight, greasy, long black hair," she pouts at the image of them, "Why would I leave my extremely hot boyfriend for them?" she smirks.

"You, my dear," he lowers his hands on her ass, caressing her, "Became extremely shallow."

She furrows her brows. "I only appreciate you," she puts her hands on his arms and starts pulling them up and down his skin.

He licks his lips with the tip of his tongue.

He shrugs. "I know," her eyes flicker as he says so, his old voice coming back, one full of pride and security, "I kinda am a lot better than those guys," she rolls her eyes at him, "I doubt they know how to do this."

He puts one of his hands on her leg, above her knee, and his fingers start traveling under her towel. He opens his palm and starts caressing her thigh. She bites her lip while keeping her eyes on his.

"They have no idea where to touch to make you tremble," he says quietly. Because she trembles like a leaf after rain under his touch. And he didn't even have to learn how to make her do so, it came to him naturally. His touch on her skin feels so natural, almost like it's made for her and only her.

His fingers go up, and when they brush over her entrance she parts her lips a little and a small, surprised moan escapes her throat.

"No panties?" he asks, "Naughty, naughty," he teases her, smirking.

She smiles at him, using all of the strength and will power she has in her to step away from him. She bites her lower lip before slipping her fingers under the crack where the towel is folded and tearing it off of her body. It falls down her body, around her feet, so she steps out of it and pushes it aside. There are still water droplets on her fairly tanned skin, and her hair is still wet, sticking onto the skin of her back.

His eyes roam all over her body, his throat tightening, his skin sweating under the clothes he's wearing. Quickly, he stands up and pulls his shirt over his head, and sweatpants down his legs, and Elena laughs out loud at the image in front of her. He removes his clothes in such a hurry that he almost harms himself in the process.

"Come here," he calls for her, suggesting with his finger for her to come.

She starts walking towards him with a smirk on her face and once she's in a close proximity to him, he reaches for her hand, pulls her closer and pushes her on the bed. She laughs.

When his lips fall on the skin of her thigh, first moan escapes her throat.

* * *

In the morning they walk into a small, nearby diner for breakfast. She replaced her jeans with shorts now when she knows how hot it is in the van. Stefan has his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. Her head is on his chest, and her palm pressed against his stomach. He whispers something into her ear, something that makes her smile, before he plants a kiss on the top of her head.

The rest of the gang is already there, but there's no one else there except two waitresses behind the counter. They greet each other, everyone except Caroline who keeps her head down on the table, and Rebekah scoots over for Stefan and Elena to sit.

"Didn't get much sleep, huh?" Elena nudges Caroline across the table, keeping her voice down.

She knows how Caroline feels, she didn't get much sleep either. Stefan kept her awake most of the night. But despite her lack of sleep, she feels surprisingly awake and fresh.

Caroline slowly lifts her head from the table, looking tired as hell. "Seriously?" she screeches at Elena. Tyler taps her on the back lightly, trying to calm her down.

She looks at her confused, but notices amused looks on Rebekah's and Nik's faces.

"Yes, seriously," she says silently, still confused by her friends reaction.

This only infuriates Caroline more.

"Does this sound familiar to you?" she cocks her eyebrow in Elena's direction, "_Oh Stefan, yes Stefan, right there Stefan, fuck me Stefan, please,_" she mimics Elena's voice.

Elena's eyes pop out and blush attacks her cheeks. Something gets stuck inside of her throat, and Caroline's hard look is still locked on hers.

Rebekah chuckles, while Elena can't find any words to say.

"I know you, what, for 15 years?" she asks, trying to do the math, "I heard you swear more last night than I did in all those years together," she throws her hands in the air, making Elena blush even more.

"You heard us?" she lowers her look onto the table.

"Yes," Caroline exhales tiredly, "Well, no, I've heard you. I'm pretty sure the whole America has heard you!"

She glances at Caroline before she shifts her embarrassed gaze to Tyler. If Caroline heard them, that means Tyler did as well. Did Nik and Rebekah hear them too?

Oh God, she thinks to herself, I'm never having sex again.

Not that she's panicking or being dramatic or anything.

"And oh my God," Caroline exhales exhausted, "How can you talk so much during sex? Also," she twists her face, "Your voice sounds funny while, you know.." she gives her a hint, and that takes Rebekah over the edge and she bursts out laughing.

A laugh escapes Stefan's throat and Elena shoots him a look which makes him turn all serious.

"How can you laugh in a situation like this," she shrieks at him.

He takes a defensive pose. "Well, it does sound a little bit funny.."

"Stefan!" she whines.

"Oh come on Elena," he rolls his eyes, "Like they don't know we're having sex. It's a normal part of a relationship."

She parts her lips to say something which is when she realizes she doesn't have anything to say. They know they're having sex, girls talk, guys talk, Stefan probably talks to Rebekah about it as well. She doesn't know why it bothers her so much, talking about it.

"Oh, leave her alone," Rebekah says when she notices the look on her face, "It's completely fine if she's weary to talk about it, it's her privacy anyway," she shrugs them all off.

"Thanks," Elena answers.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Rebekah stands next to Elena, "You've been quiet the whole trip," she bumps her shoulder into Elena's, making her sway.

They left right after breakfast and now, three hours later, they stopped at the gas station for gas and some more snacks. Tyler says they should arrive to their destination in the afternoon.

"I'm fine," Elena answers gently, taking a seat on a rock by the road while the others are shopping for snacks.

"Did Caroline upset you?" Rebekah never takes _I'm fine_ for an answer, because that sentence screams the opposite.

"Yes. No," Elena wiggles her lips, "A little," she exhales.

"Does talking about it bother you?" Rebekah asks, making Elena turn her head in Rebekah's direction curiously, "Sex?"

Elena inhales deeply. "Is it wrong if it does bother me?" she closes her eyes.

Rebekah furrows her brows. "No," she shakes her head and takes a place on the rock next to Elena.

"It's just," Elena starts, feeling like she owes her an explanation since she was nice enough to notice this is bothering her, "I never had a reason to talk about it," she turns her head to look at Rebekah who seems to be listening to her carefully, "I only slept with one guy before Stefan and it was.." she tries to find the right words, "Well, compared to the things I've heard, it was nothing. I thought that maybe I'm doing something wrong," she shrugs. Rebekah gives her a compassionate look. "I can listen, I was always there when they needed someone to listen," she exhales, "I'm simply not used to talking about it."

"Is the sex not good?"

Elena looks at her wide eyed. "Of course it is. It's," she releases a light laugh, "Phenomenal," she finally finds the right word to say.

Rebekah grins. "So all the stories are true?" she asks, little curious herself.

"More than true."

"See, talking about it, not so hard," this catches Elena's attention so she smiles gratefully at Rebekah.

"Does he ever talk to you about us?" Elena asks curiously, realizing she's maybe asking a little bit too much from her.

"Yes," Rebekah says instantly.

"What does he say?" she asks with a shaky voice.

"One time he told me you're the best one he ever had."

Elena smiles thankfully even though she doesn't believe in those words.

* * *

**AN: Some insecurities never go away.**


	31. Chapter 31

When they arrived to Miami their rooms were already ready, waiting for them to get settled in. Elena crashed on the bed in relief as Stefan dragged her suitcase alongside his own luggage, which was nothing compared to hers. This time he didn't complain at the heaviness of it, proving one more time he's the best boyfriend ever. He would probably agree on going shopping with her as well, even if that meant following her around and carrying her bags. She has to remember that one because they should totally do that one. At first he was doing all of those things for her because he would expect a reward for his good deeds, but now, he does them just because. Just because of her.

Two weeks of sun, sea, partying, fun and junk food. That's just what they all need before heading of to college and getting tortured by merciless faculty.

After unpacking and resting for few hours they headed over to town for dinner, deciding to threat the rest of the day easy knowing if they mess up their sleeping schedule in the beginning they will be tired the whole time they spend there.

Most of their days were repetitive, beach, having fun, partying, sleeping as little as they have to, and then do it all over again. They didn't mind, though, since repetitive relaxation can never become boring, especially when you're among friends. Waking up next to Stefan morning after morning became extremely pleasant, she was surprised how little it took her to adjust having him next to her every day when she wakes up.

During one of their last days there, or better to say nights, they decided to find a secluded beach, far away from the crowd, and have some fun all by themselves. They bought snacks and bunch of liquor, sat in the van and drove off to find an empty beach. After 20 minutes of searching they found a small beach behind the woods, surrounded by high rocks. They settled in between two rocks, in the sand, moon being their only source of light. They ate all of the snacks almost right away, keeping it light, before opening the liquor they bought.

Guys mostly stuck with beer, even though girls made them take few shots. Rebekah makes amazing cocktails. The thing about cocktails is that they taste like juice, so people can drink glass after glass, almost forgetting they're drinking alcohol. And with Elena being a light weight, Stefan had to keep an eye on the number of glasses she had. Which became more difficult with every beer bottle he emptied.

"Let's play truth or dare!" Rebekah says enthusiastically, taking the empty bottle of vodka in her hands, spinning it between her fingers, waiting for the rest of them to agree. Both Caroline and Elena scream in agreement, while guys just nod their heads in confirmation. "I'll go first," Rebekah announces, looking at everyone as they form the circle. "Caroline," her look falls on the blonde girl across her, "Truth or dare?" she wiggles her brows.

"Umm," Caroline hums while squinting, "Truth!" she declares after few seconds of thinking.

Rebekah grins. "On a scale of 1 to 10, how good is Tyler in bed?"

Caroline shifts her glare to Tyler who gives her an approving nod.

"Eight," Caroline says without giving it a second thought.

Funny, Elena thinks, she would have given Stefan a solid ten.

"Nik," Caroline sings out his name, and he looks at her surprised, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Nik answers cockily.

"I dare you to kiss the prettiest person here," Caroline shoots, obvious she had this dare in mind.

"Well, since I can't kiss myself," he says with a grin in the corner of his lips, and Stefan rolls his eyes. He props himself up and gives his sister a peck on the cheek. Everyone go _aww_, and Rebekah blushes. It's so rare, seeing Rebekah blush.

"Elena," Nik says her name, awaking her from her state of sleepiness while she's leaning onto Stefan, her back propped against the length of his arm, and her head on his shoulder. "Truth or dare?" he smirks, which is when she realizes she never actually talked to Nik, not directly.

"A-ah," Stefan swings his finger in the air, shaking it left, then right, "Whatever you do Nik, you're not seeing my girlfriends boobs," Stefan implies with a serious tone of voice, and Nik's face flushes.

"Why would anyone want to see my boobs?" Elena furrows her brows, confused.

Stefan chuckles. "I believe the right question would be why wouldn't anyone want to see your boobs," his look falls on her chest and he smiles, "But, Nik over here has a thing for you."

"Had a thing," Nik says, his voice little angry, "Had. Past tense."

Elena keeps her confused look on Stefan.

"Don't look at me," he tells Elena, shrugging it off, "He only told me after we started dating."

Elena shifts her look to Nik. "Why didn't you say anything?" she frowns.

Nik laughs lightly. "Because you're Stefan's girl, you always were, everyone knows that."

Elena waves his answer off. "Come on, we hated each other," she huffs.

"You know how they say," Rebekah voices her opinion, "You're meanest to those you love the most."

Caroline nods in agreements. "You two were probably the only ones who didn't see the cloud of sexual tension between you."

Stefan plants a kiss on Elena's bare shoulder, caressing her arm with the fingers of his free hand.

"Anyway," Nik coughs, "Back to the game."

"Truth," Elena says.

"What is one thing you could never forgive in a relationship?" he asks curiously.

"Cheating," Elena fires away without giving it a second thought.

Everyone seem to agree with her answer.

Elena looks over the circle before she says her best friends name. "Caroline?"

"Truth," she exhales.

Elena ponders a bit on her question. "Would you ever have sexual relations with a girl?"

Caroline furrows her brows before biting her lower lip. "Yes," she admits silently, "Would you?" she teases her.

Elena shrugs her shoulders. "Sure."

"Aaaand this is the sign you had way too much to drink," Stefan tries to take the plastic cup away from her, but she fights him off.

"That could be arranged," Tyler says excitedly, "If you two ever, you know, want to try," he cocks his eyebrow at Caroline who smacks him on the shoulder.

Stefan exhales through his nostrils.

"Sure," he adds, "They can do it right here and all of us will watch."

"Shut up," Rebekah yells irritated, "I'm not watching two of my friends having sex!"

"Aww," Stefan says, "Rebekah has friends that are girls, how cute," he teases her and everyone laugh. Rebekah squints and sticks her tongue out at him.

"Rebekah, truth or dare?" Caroline asks while taking a sip from the cup.

"Truth."

"Have you ever faked an orgasm?"

"Yes," she admits shyly.

"I'm so telling Damon," Stefan smirks.

"Oh, I never had to fake with Damon, he gives me mind blowing orgasms," she smirks at her best friend.

Stefan shudders. "Too much information."

"Truth or dare, pretty boy?" Rebekah cocks her eyebrow at Stefan.

"Truth," he says huskily.

"Did you ever go down on Elena?" she smirks at him, the corners of her eyes focusing on Elena to see if she minds her question, but she doesn't seem to. Guess they have to get her drunk to make her more open to the subject.

Stefan rolls his eyes. "Yes."

Caroline gasps silently and Rebekah chuckles.

"Caroline, truth or dare?" Stefan asks the perky blonde.

"Truth," she answers, taken back he chose her.

"What's one sexual fantasy you haven't tried?"

Caroline lowers her look down. "Roleplaying," she admits.

"I'm not dressing up as King Kong, Caroline!" Tyler yells and everyone burst into laughter.

Caroline's cheeks turn red as she keeps her look lowered on the sand.

"Elena?" she says her friends name silently.

Elena ponders on it a little, but in the end she chooses dare.

Caroline brings her head up with a smirk on her face. "I dare you that you and Stefan show us how a hot two minute make out session looks like," her smirk turns into a grin.

Elena knits her eyebrows together before shrugging lightly and saying, "Okay."

She pushes herself away from Stefan, gets on her knees and crawls to him through the sand. She brings her legs on each side of his and makes herself comfortable in his lap. She throws her arms around his neck and starts playing with the ends of his hair on the back of his neck, smiling at him. He smiles right back. She brings her face closer to his and as her lips linger above his, his fingers travel to her naked back and start drawing circles on them. Their lips finally meet and she pulls her body closer to his, her chest grinding against his. His fingers start pulling onto the string of her lemon yellow bikini top. After some time she detaches her lips from his, puts his palms on his chest and gently pushes him on the ground. She lowers her body on his and their lips collide again. Her hands fall into the sand beside his head, and his hands travel to her ass across her back.

"I think two minutes are up," Caroline says with a warning cough.

Elena smiles against Stefan's lips before detaching herself from him and giving him a small peck.

"Okay," Rebekah says, a little surprised, "That was pretty hot."

* * *

"Is my head rolling?" Elena giggles while clinging onto Stefan's arm, "Did it fall off my neck and rolled into the sand?" she closes her eyes, digging her fingers into the comfort of Stefan's skin.

"No," he shakes his head, smiling. Their bare feet stay in water, covered with dark, wet sand.

"I feel like it is," she exhales tiredly, splashing the ground in front of her with water droplets that get carried on her fingers. "I'm never drinking again," she groans annoyed.

Stefan laughs lightly. "Yeah, yeah."

Elena opens her eyes quickly and a wide smile appears on her face. "Let's go swimming!" she says excitedly.

They separated from the rest of the crew, leaving them there, so they can have a walk. Elena was feeling pretty dizzy to continue sitting there, so Stefan took her for a stroll.

"No!" he pulls her by the arm when she detaches herself from him, "The water is too cold," he twirls her back to him.

She falls onto his chest, her palms pressing against his body. She looks up at him seductively and bites her lower lip lightly, "I know a way we can get warmed up," she wiggles herself out of his grip and falls on the sand. She buries her elbows in the sand, lies against the ground, but keeps her head up. She spreads her legs slightly, mimicking with her finger for him to join her, "Come here," she plays with his eyes with some help of hers.

He walks over to her, getting in between her legs and placing his body above hers, hovering.

She giggles and surprises him by pushing him off of her. He falls on the sand and the next thing he knows she's on top of him, straddling him.

"You're too shy to talk about sex but you have no problem with doing it in public places?" he raises his eyebrow in her direction.

"Mhm," she lowers her body on top of his, "I'm your perverted girlfriend who doesn't like to talk about how perverted she is," she smiles at him, and he bursts out laughing. Her fingers travel to the hem of his shirt, and once she grabs it she yanks the shirt over his head. Her palms fall on his chest, feeling his rock hard abs. "I've been thinking," her lips fall on his chest as well.

"About?" he hums.

"About the future, of course," she keeps on planting pecks on his bare chest, "When we graduate, we're so moving to San Francisco," she says in between the kisses, "You'll play football for some fancy club, and I'm going to work as a publisher."

He closes his eyes. "Sounds good," he lets the image sink into his mind.

"Three years later I'm going to stay pregnant with out first child," her lips go down his torso.

"First?" he asks amused, "How many will there be?"

"Hmm," she unbuckles his belt, "Three. Four. As many as we want," she says as she pulls his pants down his legs.

"That many, huh?" he asks as she pulls the tips of her fingers under the hem of his briefs, "We better start practicing right away then," he smirks as she pulls his briefs down. He expects her to pull herself up so he can help her get undressed, but she doesn't. He props his head up from the sand. "Umm, sweetie?" he knits his brows, "What are you doing?"

She centers her big, glossy eyes on his, looking at him confused, almost innocently. "I'm going to please you, like you please me," she tells him, keeping her look on his.

"Elena," he says her name, planning to tell her to stop teasing him.

"I want to," she nods to him, stretching her hand to his chest, "You just relax," she shows him to lie down, "And tell me if I'm doing anything wrong since I never did this," she says awkwardly.

"Okay," he says as he puts his head down on the sand.

He's definitely going to marry that girl.

* * *

**AN: This is what teenagers do during the summer break, right?**


	32. Chapter 32

Summer passed too quickly. Ever since they came back home from Florida, time started flying by. Days seemed shorter, minutes turned into hours, but they say that's what happens in good company. The hardest time, which seemed the longest to both of them, is when Stefan and Rebekah went to visit Damon in Providence for a week and Elena stayed in Mystic Falls to keep Jeremy company. Even though they talked every day, sometimes even more than once, departure fell hard on both on them, and their meeting was more than intense. Which is when both of them realized they're too dependent on each other, but too in love to care.

And then time to leave for college came. Bonnie came home only once, to pack the rest of her things, but she didn't want to see Jeremy. Even though he seemed sad about it, Elena thought how he doesn't want to see her either. Rebekah left almost a month before the rest of them and Stefan missed her more than words could express, so he didn't talk about it, but he knew Elena can tell when he's thinking about his best friend just by the look in his eyes and the silence the memories provided. She wasn't jealous, she was sad, because she missed Rebekah as well. Caroline and Tyler left few days before them, to the other side of the country. She knew she won't see Caroline until the next big holiday when they all go back home to Mystic Falls. There's a bigger chance of seeing Bonnie or Rebekah since they're closer to her.

Jenna cried as she watched her pack her things. She kept saying how fast she grew up, and how she remembers her first steps and words. In the end she hugged her and told her that her mom would be so proud of her and how she became everything her mom hoped she would be. Unfortunately her dad didn't manage to be there but Elena wasn't mad, not this time. Because this time she knew he at least tried.

They have put their luggage in Stefan's Porsche, said goodbye to their families and drove off to New Jersey. Once they arrived to campus they sat in the car for few minutes, watching what's before them. A row of huge buildings, each assigned for something. Even bigger lawn in front of the buildings crowded by students. Everyone are in their own groups, and it reminds both of them of high school. Apparently some things never change.

"So, here we are," he breaks the silence, pulling her away from the view in front of them.

"Here we are," she repeats his words, nodding slightly.

"What's the plan?" he asks with a fearful look in his eyes.

"We have to find a table for freshmen" she puts her hand on his, intertwining their fingers, "I think that's where they give us the plan of the campus, our room number, basically everything we need," she tells him gently once she notices how much this scares him. Much more than it does her. He doesn't like change, nor is he used to it.

He nods at her before smiling in her direction. She leans in and gives him a peck on the lips.

"I love you," she reminds him after detaching her lips from his.

Her voice vibrates on his lips, and he can feel her hot breath on his face.

He nods slightly, their lips scraping against each other.

"I love you too," he whispers to her.

They get out of the car, pick up their luggage and go to find the table for freshmen with further directions. Once they do, a cheerful girl gives them a pile of papers with instructions to follow. They are in different dormitories, he's in the building C, and she's in the building A. They share one more kiss and make plans of seeing each other once they settle in, which will most likely be tonight, and each go their own way.

* * *

Once Stefan finds his dorm building, and more importantly his room number, his roommate is already in there, sprawled across the bed on the left side of the room, tossing a football in the air. The left side of the bed is already decorated, almost feels like home. There are covers on the bed, the table is full of books, and there are personal things on the shelves. The right side of the room is naked, untouched, waiting for him.

When he opens the room door, a tall, buff guy with a sandy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, a guy that reminds him of Matt Donovan, gets up from the bed and sits on the edge. There's a smile on his face as he points at Stefan, the ball still in his hand.

"Stefan Salvatore, quarterback from Mystic Falls," he says proudly, a dopey smile on his face.

Stefan's bag falls from his shoulder on the floor. "Correct," he smiles, walking to the guy and stretching out his hand to him, "Unfortunately, I haven't done my homework as well as you did," the guy grabs his hand and shakes it strongly.

"Seth, linebacker from Carson City," he introduces himself, "I hear we're the first two ones the scouts found," there's a certain amount of pride in his voice.

"Out of five? How very impressive from us," Stefan smirks, making Seth smile.

"I have to admit, I was worried you will be some big headed guy who is used to the star status in his city," he voices his concerns, and Stefan thinks how he never thought of himself as a star, "But I think we will get along pretty well," he says through a laughter.

Stefan nods in agreement, Seth actually seems like a cool and laid back guy.

"I think I'll love it here," he hums, leaning back onto the bed, "Football, easy curriculum," he gets Stefan's attention, "College girls," he wiggles his eyebrows in Stefan's direction.

Stefan laughs, pulling his fingers through his hair, "Yeah, the football part is amazing," he says, pleasure evident in his voice, "But the other two," he bites his lower lip.

"Oh?" Seth frowns.

"No college girls, I have a girlfriend," he says with a smile on his face, thinking how he doesn't need any college girls as long as he has Elena, "And no easy curriculum, she wants me to have a full college experience and stuff," he rolls his eyes when he remembers Elena saying she knows how much he loves playing football, and that he should do what he loves, but that he should listen to as many lectures as he manages.

"Oh man," Seth chuckles, "You must really love her."

"I do," Stefan says instantly, a wide smile on his face. Loving Elena was like a reflex, like stretching out after a good night sleep, and sharing that with other people felt relieving.

"You have a picture?" Seth cocks his eyebrow in Stefan's direction.

Stefan laughs, but pulls the phone out of his pocket and throws it to Seth. Seth catches it in mid air and looks at the screen.

His lips part slightly. "She's hot."

"Man, you have no idea," Stefan says as he catches his phone that Seth throws back to him.

"So," Seth rubs his palms together, "Did you put any thought in joining a fraternity?"

Stefan shakes his head no. He knows Damon tried to get into one, but failed to do so.

"I was just about to check them out," he jumps on his leg from the bed, "They're all hosting parties to lure the initiatives in this weekend. Wanna come with me?"

Stefan ponders on it a little bit, but nods in confirmation after some time, "Sure. Just let me unpack."

* * *

Elena barely gets her luggage to the fourth floor, dragging it behind herself through the hallways crowded with freshman's. People are rushing in and out of their rooms, curious to see what's going on outside, ready to explore their newest place of living for the years coming. She is not that eager to do so. All she wants to do is settle in her own room and reunite with Stefan. This change of environment fell harder on her than she cares to admit. She's too scared things will change now, once they settle into their new lives, find new friends. They're so different, they will barely move in the same circles. They probably won't even have the same classes. They will start seeing each other less and less until..

When she pushes the door of her room open, the first thing she sees is a tiny girl standing on the bed on her toes, trying to put some poster on the wall beside her bed. Everything is so colorful. From the purple cover on her bed, to the clothes she's wearing. Colors are having a fight on her body, especially that orange shirt and light pink skirt. She has a pretty strawberry blonde hair with few grass green streaks on it. Her shelf is full of books, and from what Elena managed to see, most of them are about art. Makes sense.

The girl turns around and Elena notices a bunch of orange freckles on her pale skin which go in tone with her strawberry blonde hair. Those are probably the only things in tone on her body. She's wearing thick black glasses which are too big for her head, but look surprisingly good on her.

The girl drops the poster and jumps from the bed, walking towards Elena with a wide smile on her face.

She stands on her toes and throws her arms around Elena's shoulders, pulling her in for a hug.

Oh, new Caroline. How lovely.

"Welcome," the girl says while releasing Elena from a tight grip, "I'm Anna," she fixes her glasses which fell on the tip of her nose, "I took the left side of the room, I hope you don't mind."

Elena smiles warmly. "Not at all," she starts pulling her luggage in the direction of her bed, "Elena, by the way," she introduces herself.

"Pleasure," she smiles, "My, my," Anna says amused, "That's a lot of luggage," she follows Elena.

She sounds just like Stefan, but Elena laughs lightly anyway.

"Clothes," she shrugs.

Anna huffs disappointingly. "Don't tell me you're one of those sorority girls," she whines.

Elena laughs out loud while shaking her head no. "I just happen to like clothes," she smiles at Anna, "Besides," she taps one of her suitcases, "This baby is all books."

Anna's eyes widen at the size of the suitcase, "You have so many books?" she asks in disbelief.

Elena smirks. "These are the ones I can't live without, I left the rest at home," she unzips the suitcase and starts placing the books on the shelf.

"Wowza," Anna says while looking in her suitcase, and Elena laughs at her expression, "So, where are you from?" she asks curiously.

"Mystic Falls," Elena replies, but notices a confused look on Anna's face, "Small town near Atlanta," Elena provides her with more information.

"Nice," Anna comments, "I'm from Jacksonville, Florida."

Florida. A wave of pleasant memories comes rushing down Elena's mind.

"I've been to Florida this summer," she says with a huge smile on her face.

"Oh?" Anna asks curiously, going over her books.

"I went with my boyfriend and couple of friends to Miami."

"Oh," Anna exhales, "You have a boyfriend?"

Elena nods in confirmation.

"It must be hard, being away from him," Anna wiggles her lips.

"He's here with me," Elena announces happily, "We got into the same college."

"How sweet," Anna exhales through her nostrils. "Listen, my brother, who is two years older than me, goes here as well and he promised he would show me around. I'm supposed to meet him in few minutes, wanna come?"

Elena ponders on her offer for a moment until she realizes there's nothing to think about. She doesn't have anything better to do anyway. She can unpack later and then meet with Stefan.

"Sure," Elena accepts, thanking her for the invitation.

"Let's go then," Anna grabs her bag from the table and starts walking towards the door.

They walk towards the exit in silence, fighting their way through the sea of students.

"There he is!" Anna exclaims once they make it out, pointing towards the guy sitting on the bench, "Come on!" she grabs Elena by her wrist and starts walking with a running step towards the bench.

When they approach closer Elena gets a better chance of seeing Anna's brother, which is when she concludes she would never tell those two are related. His hair reminds her of Stefan's, everything except the color, which is coal black, much like Damon's. He also owns Damon's piercing blue eyes, so when he looks at her, at the girl his sister is dragging behind, she has a feeling he's looking through her, not at her. He has a wide jaw, and a set of shiny white teeth Elena notices once he smiles at his sister. When he stands up from the bench Elena is surprised by how tall he is, much taller than Anna. Anna could step on her own shoulders and would be barely as tall as he is.

"Anna," he greets her by giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi brother," she greets him back, slowly letting go of Elena's wrist, "This is my roommate, I told her she can come with."

He looks at Elena who is clutching awkwardly to the string of her purse.

"Lucas," he stretches his hand out to Elena.

Elena takes his hand and shakes it. "Elena," she introduces herself.

"So, we should get going," Anna clings to her brothers arm as he says so, and Elena strolls behind them.

* * *

Stefan calls her around 6 in the evening to let her know he's free, so she agrees to meet him. He proposes they go to dinner which she gladly accepts since she's starving. She didn't have anything except a sandwich for lunch.

"How is your roommate?" she asks curiously as they sit down by the table by the window.

"Awesome," Stefan nods, "He plays football as well. He says you're hot," he smiles in her direction.

"Well, I like him already," she grins at him, making him squint at her. "How is your roommate?"

"She's okay," Elena wiggles her lips while going over through the menu. She can hear her stomach growling. "Artistic. Touchy."

Stefan nods in understanding. "What did you do for the whole day?" he stretches his hand across the table and places it on top of hers, slightly caressing her. She smiles upon feeling the touch of his skin on hers.

"My roommates brother is studying here as well so he gave us a tour over the campus," she intertwines their fingers.

"Brother?" Stefan knits his brows together.

"Mhm," Elena wiggles her lips since she can feel jealousy pouring out through every pore of his body, "He's two years older, majoring in Sociology."

"Is he hot?"

Elena looks at him before chuckling. "He's pretty," she shrugs, "Pretty in a way you wouldn't be surprised if you saw him leaving the house with eyeliner," and she's not into that sort of guys. When she comes to think about it, she doesn't really have a type. Her type is Stefan and she's pretty sure he's one of a kind. "What did you do?"

He relaxes upon hearing those words. He's only jealous because he's afraid someone might steal her away from him, they would be crazy not to try. And it's not that he doesn't trust her, he doesn't trust other people.

"Me and my roommate went to check out some fraternities. I'm thinking about joining one," he admits.

"Fraternity?" she eyes him wearily.

"Yeah, there's one almost all football players join, I forgot how it's called. Some Greek letters," he shrugs, catching her look with his, "You don't think it's a good idea?" he asks.

"No, no," she shakes her head, "I think it's a great idea," a smile appears on her face, "You should do whatever you want to do and whatever makes you happy," she squeezes his hand with hers. "Wait," she frowns, "This doesn't mean I have to join the sorority, right?" she asks in panic.

He laughs out loud. Elena in sorority. Now, that's something he would pay good money to see. "No," he says, and she exhales in relief.

"Good, because I was thinking about joining a book club," she smiles at the though of it, "And Lucas said English lit professor hosts literature nights at his house," she nods excitedly, already planning going to those, and Stefan smiles at that excitement.

"Wow," he exhales, kinda sadly, "We really are nothing alike."

Elena notices the streak of sadness in his voice. "That doesn't have to mean anything bad, Stefan," she tries to console him, "We have different interests, so what?" she shrugs lightly, "I love you and you love me and I believe that's all that matters."

The fear of her moving on from him never left him, despite her best efforts to make him let it go. He's afraid she will meet new people who will charm her with their thoughts and words and opinions and she will realize how dumb he actually is. One day his ability to make her smile won't be enough. One day he won't be enough.

"Nothing has to change," she says warmly, "Nothing will change," she states convincingly. "I know we promised we're never going to leave each other. I also know both of us are well aware that promise doesn't depend on just us."

He furrows his brows. He's aware of that. "So what can we do then?"

She smiles warmly. "We can try."

Try. Yes, that's the only thing they can do. And somehow it doesn't seem good enough.


	33. Chapter 33

The sound of high heels echoes through the library as she moves hurriedly towards the secluded part in the back. She can feel all the eyes on her since people don't usually visit the library dressed like she is at the moment. Her look falls on the watch around her wrist and she notices she's already ten minutes late. She spent too much time on getting ready, and the time between her last lecture and book club meeting is tight. She usually only has time for a dinner.

When she finally arrives to her destination everyone raise their look in her direction and their lips part in awe.

"Sorry I'm late," she puts her small black clutch bag with silver spikes on it on the table and falls in the sofa after taking a book from the pile in her hand.

"Where were you?" Anna cocks her eyebrow in Elena's direction. Elena looks at her and notices both her and her brother staring at her shoes.

"I was getting ready," Elena brushes her off with a frown on her face. She likes Anna, she really does, but most of the times she pushes her nose where it doesn't belong.

"Are you a part time model?" a small, quiet girl releases her voice from the corner of the room. Her voice is so squeaky that it reminds Elena of a mouse. And so does her ashy hair.

When Elena realizes the girl is serious she laughs lightly, putting her curly hair behind her ear. "No," she shakes her head, "I'm going to a party."

Almost everyone in the room frown. They don't attend much parties from what Elena gathered. They're all so serious, so grown up. She's not ready to be like that, nor does she want to be like that. She's still young, and she has the rest of her life ahead of herself to be serious and to deal with the grown up stuff. One day, when she has her own career, family, children, a dog and a white picket fence, she wants to be able to look back at these times and remember them fondly.

Everyone frown except Alisson, the girl who's with her in the most of her lectures and someone with whom she gets along pretty well. She doesn't fall into the stereotype of book worms like the rest of the people in the room do. They're all pompous, even though they would rather describe themselves as classy and intelligent.

"Did you come to college to party or to study?" Lucas asks, knitting his brows together.

Elena shifts her look to him. "Both," she raises her eyebrow in his direction, getting a small smile in the corner of his lips from him.

"Well, I think she looks amazing," Alisson makes a comment, winking at Elena.

She does, in her tight, ruffled skirt with a zipper over the length of it, black pumps and a maroon top. She curled her hair, something she does a lot recently, and applied more make up than she used to few months ago.

In a way, she did change, in how she handles herself. When she looks into the mirror she sees herself, the girl Elena Gilbert truly is.

Stefan noticed the change as well, but said he likes it, because she seems happier, more comfortable in her own skin. He knows she didn't change when it comes to the things that truly matter.

"Well, no one can disagree with that," Anna says shyly before bumping her shoulder into the shoulder of her brother, "Right Lucas?" she asks teasingly.

He looks her from under the eye. "Yeah, she does," he lowers his look back on the book.

"Where are you going anyway?" Alisson wiggles her lips, "I thought there are no parties tonight."

"Oh, haven't I told you?" she brings her eyebrows closer together, "Stefan got into a fraternity," a smile creeps on her face once she remembers how excited Stefan was about it.

She lived in fear her and Stefan will drift apart, but they haven't. They're as good as ever, they even have some lectures together which means some extra time they got to spend together, even though they can't do anything during. Being in each others company is more than enough for them. Both of them found new friends. She really likes his roommate, even though he's a little weary about Anna. He gets along with Alisson pretty well. Figures, since she's a mix of Rebekah and Caroline. Even though their curriculum's are pretty full with lectures and extra curricular activities, they still find time for each other. Plenty of time. He was really busy during the initiation process but he fought off sleep to spend time with her. Sure, he would fall asleep during first half of hour of the movie but it's the effort that counts.

"Stefan?" Lucas asks wearily, hissing his name out.

"Her boyfriend," Anna says matter of factly.

Lucas chuckles at that, but Elena doesn't ask what's so funny. She doesn't really want to know since she doesn't really care. When you put two and two together Lucas is a pretty nice guy, but he's too judgmental. He's intelligent and funny and hardworking but he also thinks he's better than anyone else because he possesses those traits.

Elena wasn't ashamed of anything that was connected to Stefan. She left those stereotypes back in high school, when she learned they worth as much as dirt.

All of a sudden, a small, quiet girl from the corner of the room whose name Elena didn't remember, chuckles. "Did he get lost or something?" she keeps her look attached on one spot behind Elena's back.

Elena frowns before turning around in her seat. Her look falls on Stefan walking towards them, and she smiles. Then she bites her lower lip because he looks damn good, in his dark jeans, dark grey shirt and light grey blazer. His hair looks like it was drawn on the top of his head, and she gets an urge to pull her fingers through it. She jumps up from the chair, and once Stefan notices her he smiles in her direction.

"Hey boyfriend," she says with a dopey grin on her face as he wraps his left arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him, her body bumping into his body.

"Hey beautiful," he says in response, lowering his lips on hers and giving her a light peck on the lips.

She smiles against his lips, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

"Guys," she slowly turns around, his still arm still around her waist, "This is Stefan," she puts her hand on his chest, "Stefan, these are.." she frowns, not knowing how to introduce them, "The guys," she says, not satisfied with her choice of words.

Everyone wave at Stefan, even Anna and Alisson, though they know him, and he waves back, greeting them politely.

"So, Salvatore," Alisson says with a grin on her face, "Now that you have a free access to all the hot fraternity guys, you should really share it before Elena decides someone is hotter than you," she winks at him, but Elena shoots her a look, knowing how insecure Stefan is about it.

But he just smiles. "I'm not worried," his grip on her tightens, "But I'll see what I can do," he grins at Alisson.

"Well, we should get going," Elena takes his hand into hers and intertwines their fingers. She says goodbye to everyone at the same time and pulls Stefan after her towards the exit.

* * *

It took him some time to introduce her to everyone. The only person she knew there was Seth, Stefan's roommate, and she was nervous about fitting in. She knows how important this is to Stefan, and she wanted to be a part of it, to make things easier for him. So he doesn't have to juggle with more than three balls. She knew he will never fit among her book club or anything similar, but she didn't care about that. That was her twice a week pass time, not a huge part of her life.

Luckily, everyone warmly accepted her. She noticed many guys there already have girlfriends, and the ones that don't were surprisingly nice. He chose a good fraternity, not one full of douchebags. Then again, she never doubted his judgment.

After about an hour, the formal part of the party ended, and everyone got a little bit more comfortable and personal with each other. She got to know some of the initiatives, the guys Stefan was the closest to during the initiation process, so they spent the most of the time with them. One of them had a girlfriend similar to Bonnie, from both inside and out, so Elena found herself in her company a lot, only reminding herself how much she misses Bonnie. Alisson was a constant reminder of how much she misses Caroline and Rebekah.

After quite some time she realized she had a little bit too much to drink. In the beginning she was so nervous she just kept getting her cup refilled to relax. And after she relaxed, she kept getting it refilled out of habit. So first she started feeling dizzy a little, but then she got relaxed to the point where not even one inch of her body was tense. She had that dopey smile on her face, the one that appeared only when she was drunk.

When Stefan took her to dance she knew he's the same. There was a certain roughness to his touch when he was drunk. It wasn't violent or harmful, it was painfully pleasurable. His fingers were sinking deeper into her skin, and she knew those places will be a little bit sore tomorrow, but she didn't care, because the more he pressed his touch into her the more she had a feeling he's going to sink into her body and that they're going to become one.

"I doubt Seth is going to come home tonight," he whispers into her skin, making her skin vibrate, "We have my room to ourselves," he smiles at the thought.

"So, why don't you take me there then?" she whispers into his ear.

He grips onto her one more time, growling into her ear silently, making her giggle, before taking her by the hand and dragging her out of that place.

She read a lot about how, after some time, sex in relationship becomes plain and boring, but she couldn't say that's the case for them. That probably refers to people who don't have the ability to connect on every level possible. Sometimes she had a feeling Stefan is able to read her mind because he did the exact same thing she wished he would do. Maybe he just knew her well enough, or maybe she was signaling it to him subconsciously. Or maybe it came naturally to him, fulfilling her every wish, making her happy, happiest she's ever been. She trusts Stefan more than she trust anyone else. Sometimes she thinks she trusts him more than she trusts herself. So she falls into his arms safely, surrendering herself to him, allowing him to do whatever he wants with her because she knows that whatever he does is the right thing to do. Maybe that's why it's never boring. Because he wants to love her in every way, and she lets him love her in ways he doesn't even know he does.

They get inside, his lips passionately pressing onto hers, her fingers traveling under his shirt from the back. She yanks his shoulder off his back and throws it somewhere in the back of the room, they will find out where it is in the morning. His fingers cling onto the hem of her shirt and he pulls it up her head, detaching their lips only for a moment. He lets go of her to get rid of her clothes, and once he does he notices her body siluete in the dark, her back pressing against a wall.

"Refresh my memory," she says seductively, "Have we ever done it standing up?" she asks, and he notices her lips forming into a smile.

He gets rid of his shoes, leaving himself only in briefs, and responds, a little confused, "No, I don't think we have," his eyes roam all over her body.

"This wall is just asking for it," she chuckles before mimicking with her finger for him to get to her, and he does. He puts his hands on her waist, squeezing her flesh, as his lips fall on her chest, and she does her best to unhook her bra while being pressed against a wall. Her fingers tremble, and she can't seem to reach for it.

Stefan raises his head and turns her around so that her front is pressing against a wall now. He unhooks her bra with easiness she failed to do so, and unzips her skirt rapidly, leaving her in her silky panties. His palm goes over her ass, his fingers sliding over the silky material towards her entrance, and she pants even before he reaches it.

She tries to get her heels off, but he steadies her legs, whispering into her ear. "Leave them on," he plants a kiss on her neck, and she smirks.

He gets rid of his briefs and pulls her panties down her knees. He puts his hands back on her waist, his fingers lingering on her stomach. Her palms are pressed against a wall while he's kissing the milky skin on her back.

He wants to tell her he loves her but it seems inappropriate. This is not the time for those words. He's going to tell her he loves her afterwards. When she makes him laugh. While she's crying. When she sends him a text that she's going to sleep. When she calls him to tell him she loves him when they haven't seen each other for a day or two. When they get married, and after she gives the birth of their first child. When she finishes reading a book and tries to hide the tears in her eyes. When she's old and grey and wearing her sweater, holding his hand and walking in the rain. After he blows the snow off of her nose.

Not now. Now he's going to love her in a different way.

* * *

**AN: I'm so, so sad about the finale. I was expecting her to choose Damon, but it still hurts. Just don't get too sad or lose hope, we still have to see how this whole thing turns out. There's endless of possibilities. And from this point on it can't go worse, it can only get better or stay as bad as it is :)**


	34. Chapter 34

**Since I'm SO RESPONSIBLE, I'd rather write than study, so here you go! ;)**

* * *

When she opens her eyes the next day she finds herself in Stefan's embrace. Her back is pressing onto a cold wall of a college dorm room, her head is positioned in the crook of Stefan's neck, depth in between his neck and his shoulder. One of her arms is uncomfortable curled against her own body, while the other is sprawled across Stefan's chest. Whenever she sleeps over Stefan makes her put some clothes on, which is usually his shirt, one she, by now, considers her own, in case Seth comes back during the night. They rarely spend nights in her room, mostly because Anna is not as open to two people having sex in her room as Seth is. Anna is a bit of a prude, or at least Alisson seems to think so. Elena hasn't put much thought into it. Her and Anna are on good roommate terms, and they hang out from time to time, but she's not exactly Elena's favorite person to be around. She's a lot like her brother.

There are nights when she sleeps over at Stefan's without having sex. There are nights when she can't fall asleep without him next to her. She tries to fall asleep in her own bed which only results to her running from one building to another in her pajamas, knocking on his door in the middle of the night. She used to think how that's not normal for an 18 year old girl, to not be able to sleep without her boyfriend next to her. It used to scare her because what if one day she has to fall asleep without him next to her?

Which is when she realized she's not normal, nor does she want to be. She's a crazy, overly attached girl who, to some extent, depends on her boyfriend and can't trust herself enough to even fall asleep without him. And that's how she likes it, and that's how he likes it as well. They are happy. He is happy with his beautiful and loving girl who steals his clothes, cries at chick flicks, makes him watch cheesy, romantic comedies and falls asleep in the middle of them, stresses out over every exam, remembers every single thing, every morning, if she wakes up before him, puts her finger under his nose to make sure he's breathing, and panics when he realizes what she's doing and holds his breath. She's happy with her silly, insecure boy who makes her smile even when she wants to cry, who kisses her every time they meet and every time they part, who holds her hand in public, who is not ashamed to carry her purse, who buys her flowers just because, who knows all of her ticklish spots but doesn't use it against her, who talks about the future like it's a certain thing, who already knows the names of their children, who carries her up the stairs when her feet are too sore from heels to walk.

They're not perfect, far from it. They're too clingy for such young people, and they have such big expectations from themselves and their relationship. They're so different, but then again, so much alike, because even when they take different paths they tend to meet somehow. But they're in love, even if that love exceeds all expectations of normal teenage relationship. In madness they found perfection. He's a crazy painter and she's his muse for whom he painted his world in all of her favorite colors.

She realized one more thing - she doesn't want to fall asleep without him next to her ever again, which is when she stopped being scared she will ever have to. She accepted his utopia where they live happily ever after like it's a done deal.

Love is the most confusing thing in the world, she concluded. Especially when it's mixed with happiness. It's not hard, it's fairly easy actually. You're in love and you're aware of it as much as you're aware of the air you inhale. But it's like a drug, like an addiction, and it fucks up all of your senses. It's an illusion, a trick your mind plays on you until it becomes too big for even your mind to control and you get lost in the nothingness of it. And once you do, you find peace. You laugh at the silliest things and smile even when the sun doesn't shine. It's a mind numbing experience.

Despite everything, reality creeps into their perfect little world from time to time and shakes things up. They fight. Some months more than the others. Sometimes he silences her screams with kisses, and sometimes he's too weak to do anything but walk away. Sometimes she's the one that walks away. They use their insecurities and flaws to win an argument, even though they regret it second after the words escape their throat.

Time after a fight is Elena's favorite time, or so she often thinks. The sanctuary she finds in his embrace after relieving the fear of the possibility of not experiencing it again. There's something bitter sweet in that experience.

"So," Stefan says loudly, surprising her since she wasn't aware he's awake as well, "Is there something you would like to do for our anniversary or should I surprise you?" he plants a peck in the middle of her forehead.

Elena frowns against the skin of his arm. "What?" she murmurs tiredly.

"Six months. Half a year. Next week," he says each point separately while kissing her delicate skin.

This awakens her rapidly. Only a week ago she was thinking about how soon it will be their half a year anniversary, and now it completely slipped her mind. She blames sleep deprivation, something that's in a big part his fault as much as it's hers.

She's lucky he remembered, it's usually girls who remember these kind of things.

"Uh," she huffs, slowly opening her eyes, "I've been putting up with you half of the year already?" her eyes fall on his, their looks locking, and she smiles teasingly.

It seems so much more than six months. She feels like they've been together since forever.

"I know," he rolls his eyes, "I'm so horrible."

She throws the covers off of them and gets on top of him, her lips landing on his, savoring their flavor because she knows today is a busy day and they probably won't see each other until tomorrow.

"Mhm," she says, her lips still pressed against his, "Just horrible."

His hands land on her ass and he squeezes her roughly, unexpectedly, so her body jerks a little while being on top of him. She rolls off of him, smiling, and tries to find her skirt in the mess of his room.

"You coming to the game on Saturday?" he asks. It's his first college football game ever, the reason he's here at all.

"Of course," she replies, finding her skirt under his beanbag. "By the way," she says casually while wrapping the skirt around her waist and pulling the zipper up. She can't be bothered by changing into her own top, which is way too crumbled, so she stays into his shirt she's been sleeping in. She's doing their laundry anyway since the time he tried to do it and shrunk half of their clothes to size that would fit only a five year old. "Last night was amazing," she leans down to give him a goodbye kiss.

"I'm always at your service," he grins after she detaches her lips from his.

She smiles at him while shaking her head. She grabs her purse and before she disappears behind the door she says, "Oh, about your question," she smiles warmly, "Surprise me."

* * *

She opens the door of her dorm room with a smile on her face until she notices people there. Anna, Lucas and few other people she knows from the book club stare at her in disbelief as she stands before them in Stefan's shirt which makes her skirt barely visible under it, messy hair tied into a bun, purse in one hand and heels in the other.

"Where were you?" Anna asks, her eyebrow raised at Elena. "I thought you would be coming back here after the party."

Elena rolls her eyes, privately though, so none of them can see her, and answers as she throws her purse on the bed and heels by the side of it. "I went back to Stefan's," she sighs, answering even though she would rather not.

"What were you doing?" the quiet girl whose name Elena still doesn't know, and probably won't ever remember, asks, and Elena turns to her, confusion evident all over her face.

"Seriously?" she cocks her eyebrow in the girls direction with a grin on her face.

But the girl keeps staring at her with a confused face expression, surprising amount of innocence in her eyes. Elena finds a little bit of herself in the quiet girl.

"We were fucking," she says coldly, calmly, like it's nothing, like she's saying the most common think you could come up with.

Lucas huffs. "Can't you say it nicer?" he furrows his brows as she shifts her look to him, "We slept together? We made love?" he gives some suggestions, "Even we had sex sounds nicer," he shakes his head.

Elena exhales loudly before frowning at him, "But we didn't," she brushes him off, "We fucked," a small smile appears in the corners of her lips as she remembers last night and how they have to repeat it as soon as they get the chance.

"Aren't you ashamed?" Lucas spits his question out in disgust, "To talk about it like that?"

She wiggles her lips for a moment before responding with a short and quiet, "No."

She used to be, shy and ashamed of it, but not anymore. She hasn't felt ashamed for a while now.

"It's completely normal," she brushes Lucas off once again, and this time he doesn't ask anymore questions.

"So, how long have the two of you been together?" Anna asks to change the course of the conversation.

Elena sits on the edge of her bed. "It will be six months next week," she smiles gently.

"How did the two of you meet?" one of the girls squeaks from the back of the room, which is when Elena realizes she has to put more effort in remembering everyone's names.

"Let me guess," Lucas says mockingly, "He was a quarterback and you were a cheerleader and can things get any more obvious?" he smirks.

Elena giggles. "Not exactly," she shakes her head, "Me and Stefan go way back, actually. All to kindergarten. We were best friends since childhood."

"And then you realized you're a little bit more than friends," Lucas huffs, interrupting her story, "How.." he catches the annoyed look on her face, "Cheesy."

"No," Elena frowns, but doesn't allow him to push her off the track, "We got drifted apart. Actually," she wiggles her nose, "We kinda hated each other."

"So, what happened?" Anna asks, and Elena thinks how this is probably the first time her voice sounds truthfully curious.

"Our lives intertwined again," she smiles, "Silly circumstances. One thing lead to another and.."

"You fell in love," the quiet girl continues her sentence, seeming invested in the story.

"Yeah," she says shyly, feeling pleasure of loving him all over again, "And now it seems like I've loved him forever," she can feel blush attacking her cheeks once again.

"And you think it will last forever?" Lucas says fairly serious, like he's making a statement based on her own thoughts, but she can sense the mocking in the back of his throat.

"Is there something wrong with that?" she asks.

He knits his brows. "No," he states calmly, "There will be other people, though, for both you and him. Maybe someone will show to be a better fit for you than him."

Something flashes in her eyes. "Oh yeah?" she asks angrily, "Like who? You?"

He grins at her, and than grin makes her as cold as a stone. "Yes," he says calmly, "We would make a much better couple than the two of you do. We're much more alike."

"I'm nothing like you," she says bitterly.

"Of course not," he laughs arrogantly, "I meant we share common interests. I bet I could make you feels things with my pants on."

"Since I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be able to make me feels things without your pants on," she smirks at him, and his throat tightens, his eyes adapting a serious, somewhat angry look. "Also, you have no idea how Stefan makes me feel. We could have same opinions, point of views, values and choices and yet you wouldn't even be able to come close to making me feel how he does. Now excuse me, I'm going to take a shower," she gets off her bed and starts walking towards the bathroom.

"Elena," he calls after her, and she turns around, "The book club is hosting a party this Saturday, Alisson already confirmed her arrival, will you be there as well?" he asks smugly.

"I wouldn't miss it."


	35. Chapter 35

It was already Saturday when Elena realized she promised to be at two places at the same time. It was Alisson who made her realize it, saying she can't go to the game because she promised she would go to the damn book club party.

Stefan has been nervous for the whole day, and the day before. Elena had never seen him so tense. So when she told him she promised to be somewhere else, he frowned, but said nothing. And Stefan's silence was like the loudest scream out of them all.

She never even thought about missing his game, so she proposed they go to the party together afterwards. He said he will most likely be too tired to go, so she can go by herself if she wants to. One thing led to another and they got into a huge fight, which ended by him telling her, in the heat of the moment, that she doesn't have to come to the game at all.

So she didn't go. She got ready and left for the party. She knew she shouldn't have. She knew she should have gone to the game, sit in the first row, and smile at him every time their eyes meet. Especially for the first time, when he glances in the crowd and notices her there, and surprise washes all over his face. She knows he needs her the most when he's pushing her away, and she allowed him to push her away when she should have clung onto him. Because..

She doesn't even know why.

The party was being held in the house owned by Lucas and two of his buddies which was settled few minutes away by foot from campus. When she entered the house she met Alisson's curious look, but when she approached her Elena said she doesn't want to talk about it. Instead she took a cup of something poisonous and drank it whole. She knew she can't get dunk tonight, though. Firstly, she wasn't in the mood to think what these people will think of her, and she knows she wouldn't be able to keep her tongue behind her teeth if she heard any nasty comments. Secondly, she knew her thoughts will become that much heavier if she got drunk, and she didn't want to deal with them, not now, not here.

She got to meet some new people, like Lucas's roommates who are that much nicer than him. Few people she has never seen at the book club meetings but, apparently, are a part of it. The party was kept low, in a friendly atmosphere, not like the rest of the college parties. Alisson said it reminds her more of a business meeting than a party. But after some time, and a couple of more drinks, the music became louder, and everyone got more relaxed.

Anna suggested that they play the circle of truth and everyone wholeheartedly agreed.

"I'll go first," Anna squeals, "Alisson!" she screams her name, and Alisson wiggles her lips, trying to look cheerful, "Is it true that you got it on with Matty Kinley last week?"

Elena's eyes widen in surprise. She never expected Anna to ask such a question. Is it true that "The Princess Diaries" is your favorite book is something she expected Anna to ask.

Alisson furrows her brows. "Yeah, it is," she says with a low voice, probably displeased the word got out so fast. Alisson likes getting it on with guys, she just doesn't like everyone talking about it.

"He's so lush," she giggles and Elena rolls her eyes at her choice of words. Then she stops to think. Matty Kinley? He's on Stefan's football team. Anna likes a football player? Isn't he bellow her or something.

"I think that's the sign you had too much to drink," Lucas takes the cup out of her hands. Anna frowns, but doesn't try to fight him off.

"Elena!" Alisson sings out her name, throwing an arm around her shoulders. Elena looks at Alisson who clearly had enough to drink, while she, on the other hand, is sober. She has a feeling she's the only one completely sober in the room. "How many times a week do you have sex?" she wiggles her brows at Elena.

Elena shrugs. "Depends on the week," she takes a sip out of her cup, thinking how this night might go faster if she gets drunk.

She wanted to go home, she wanted to find Stefan and apologize to him. She wanted today to end and tomorrow to come so everything can go back to being normal.

"Approximately?" Alisson rolls her eyes, bumping her elbow in Elena's hip.

A small smile appears in the corners of Elena's lips. "Three or four times," she declares.

Few people gasp. "Isn't that a little too much?" one of the girls who gasped asks.

"Hey!" Anna frowns, "It's not your turn!"

Her words make Elena remember the times when she appreciated the rules. Now she sees no point in them.

"It's okay," Elena says lightly, keeping a smile on her face.

"Have you seen her boyfriend?" one of the girls asks, words stumbling out of her mouth, one over the other, "If he were mine, I'd have sex three or four times a day with him," her comment makes the room go quiet, for everyone except Alisson and Elena, who burst into laughter.

"Doesn't it bother you?" Anna asks, knitting her brows together, "To hear others talk about your boyfriend like that?"

Elena silences her laugh. "It used to," she confesses, "Not anymore, though. I mean, he's pretty.." Elena tries to find the right word to describe Stefan with, knowing very well such word doesn't exist. And trying to explain it any other way would be pointless, because no one understands. She's not sure she does either. "Wonderful," she smiles.

"What changed?" the quiet girl, Moira, whose name she finally remembered, asks curiously, "What made you stop worrying?"

She wonders when did she become the topic of discussion.

"You have to start trusting the person you're with. As you fall in love, that trust comes naturally, as it usually is one of the reasons why you fall in love," she smiles as she remembers how rapidly her feelings for Stefan changed, and how soon she went from looking at him in displeasure to trusting him with her own life. "I know he would never do anything to hurt me, so it stopped bothering me, since I know it's a you can look but you can't touch deal."

"It's true," Alisson nods, "Stefan is the sweetest boyfriend ever. He would literally do anything for Elena," she rubs her friends arm with her hand.

"He's always there for me," Elena smiles at her friends support, "Literally always."

"Have you had multiple sexual partners?" Lucas asks out of the blue.

Elena furrows her brows at his question, but answers truthfully, "Yes."

"Do you think that makes you a slut?" his question silences every murmur and everyone turn their looks to Elena, awaiting her answer.

"No," she spits out, "I think that makes me a girl who had two long term relationships."

Silence.

"Uhm, guys!" Anna starts waving with her hands in the air, "You should see Elena's book collection, it's pretty impressive!"

"I'm sure it's not as impressive as mine," Lucas huffs in Anna's direction, and Anna's look falls on the ground.

"I think Elena should be a judge of that," one of the Lucas's roommates, Ian, suggests, "Why don't you show her?"

Lucas jumps to his feet in a hurry. "Gladly," he says, walking towards the stairs, "Follow me," he calls out even though Elena never agreed to it.

She didn't want to argue, though, so she sighed, got onto her feet, and followed Lucas up the stairs. By the time it took him to get upstairs, and judging by how many times he stepped on his fingers with his other foot, Elena knew that he had one too many.

"My room is this way," he points down the hall once they reach the top, and starts walking in the direction of the door he pointed at. Elena follows him. Once they find themselves inside of the room, Elena realizes he's been right, his book collection is much more impressive than hers.

She hops towards the shelf to study all of the books on it.

"Your collection," Elena exhales in awe, "It's amazing."

"I know," he says, which is when she realizes he's standing right behind her, and she wonders when did he get so close. She hasn't even heard him walking towards her. The next thing she knows his hand is flying fast under her dress, and before she knows it his open palm is resting on her thigh. "So are you," she feels his hot breath on her ear.

She turns around in a hurry, his hand falling from her thigh and going back to the side of his body. Confusion and a little bit of fear flashes inside of her eyes. "You're drunk," she states, her back pressing onto the shelf.

"I am," he confirms, "I know what I'm doing, though," he smirks, his head slowly falling in the direction of hers.

Somehow, she wiggles herself away from him and moves towards the door. "I think I should go," she grabs the door handle, turns it, but the door do not open. She does it a few times in the row, breath escaping her lungs in the process, but the door do not open.

"Don't bother," he says casually, "I've locked the door."

She turns around slowly and presses her back against the door. Her breathing becoming faster, more intense.

"Lucas.." she says his name as a warning.

"I just don't get it, Elena," he pulls his fingers through his thick, coal black hair, "You're so intelligent, witty, beautiful," his eyes roam up and down her body, keeping his look on her bare legs for little too long, "Unbelievably sexy," he bites his lower lip, "So what are you doing with a guy like him?"

She swallows, her fingers forming into a fist, fear and anger creating a bitter taste in her mouth. She doesn't answer his question, though.

He makes few steps towards her and raises his voice, "I asked you a question!" the tone of his voice makes her close her eyes after jumping a little. On place, or out of her skin. He presses his body against hers, and when he speaks, she can feel his breath on her face. "You said your boyfriend is always there for you," his hand falls on her leg again and starts going up her thigh, his thumb brushing over the hem of her panties, so she releases a silent cry which he muffles with his palm which he presses over her lips, "So tell me, where is he now?"

* * *

Despite winning the game, something didn't feel right. He hates fighting with her, even if it's over trivial things, things he knows they will forget by tomorrow.

But he didn't want to wait until tomorrow. He didn't want to wait one more minute. He shouldn't have treated her like that, or say all the things he said to her. He should have never pushed her away.

So he decided to go to the party. Once he arrived, and let himself into the house, in which the music wasn't so loud, and everyone were chatting away, his eyes fell on Alisson by the snack table, but Elena was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey," he approached Alisson, putting his open palm on her arm.

"Stefan," her eyes widen in surprise, "Hey!" she greets him with a kiss on the cheek.

"Where is Elena?"

"Lucas is showing her his book collection," she nods.

"Is she coming back soon?"

"Actually," she knits her brows together, "They've been gone for a while now.." she wiggles her lips.

Stefan frowns upon hearing that, but before he gets a chance to say anything, a scream echoes through the house.

A scream that makes the blood in his veins freeze.


	36. Chapter 36

**_AN: So, here it is, since I had free time (no I didn't, I just prefer writing to doing things I'm actually supposed to do)._**

* * *

_"I should have never abandoned Stefan,"_ she thought while Lucas was pressing his sweaty palm against her tired lips, grinding his body against hers, while his fingers kept cupping her right thigh, _"I promised him. I promised I'll be with him forever, him and only him. Not anyone else,"_ she closed her eyes as the thoughts invaded her mind. _"I should have never come here. I should have went to the game. Maybe this is my fault. This is how life decided to take its revenge on me for breaking a promise to someone who always kept his. One person that never left me,_" thoughts were making her sleepy, but they just kept coming and coming.

She felt tired, so tired, and so sleepy. Her once tensed muscles started relaxing and her trapped palms between their chest, once pushing him away, just lingered there uselessly. She was sure her head would fall on her shoulder if he wasn't holding his hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming. What was happening to her? Was she giving up? She knew better than that, she knew better than just letting someone take advantage of her in any way. She knew that, and her mind was screaming at her to fight, but her body just wouldn't listen.

"Pssst," Lucas whispered, taking his hand from her thigh and caressing her cheek with his finger, "Everything will be okay soon," he said with a soothing voice which only made her more sleepy, and unusually comfortable, "You will relax. You will even want this," a devilish smirk appears on his face, a smirk that made her throat tighten. She wants to slap him, plunge her nails in his skin, kick him until he loses consciousness, and worse things which were stopped by his voice, "As soon as the drugs kick in."

Her eyes fly wide open in alert.

"Do you know why I hate college parties?" he asks casually, like they're having a lighthearted conversation, "Everyone keep drinking from those plastic cups, which get left everywhere, so you drinking from someone else's cup is bound to happen," he frowns, making a disgusted face, one she would be making right now if the lines of her face weren't so unwilling when it comes to obeying her brain, "It's unsanitary. These small, private parties give you a chance to assign everyone their cup, so you know from which cup who will be drinking."

She rewinds the night in her head, and it's true, her cup has been assigned to her, her name written on it, and she's been drinking from it the whole night.

"This isn't a reflexive action, you see," his words bring her back to reality, "It might come as a shock to you, but I've been thinking about this for quite some time," a crooked smile appears on his face. She always knew he's s scumbag, she just wasn't aware how big of a scumbag he actually is. No one tells you that you should keep away from those who seem to be good guys, since apparently they bring the most trouble. "I thought I will be able to win you over naturally," he huffs at his failure, locking his eyes on hers, directly, for the first time, "But you're a stupid little girl who thinks she's in love and that she found everything she needs at the age of 18, so here we are now. This whole party is for you. Well, for us. On the night of the game, so your boyfriend doesn't come looking for you," he presses his palm over her mouth a little harder. "It's really all your fault Elena, this could have been much easier and more pleasurable for both of us, but because you're stupid enough to stay with someone who is so different from you that he might as well be from another planet, I had to drug you," she can see him getting angrier, "Now it will be like fucking a hole in the ground," he laughs, and her whole body twitches.

Her heart travels to her heels, because the pressure she feels on it is an equivalent to someone stomping on it. _"Stefan, please,"_ she calls out to him inside of her head once she realizes she's helpless on her own, _"Please help me,"_ her eyes fall shut.

"Oh, do you feel sleepy?" he asks, but her eyelids feel to heavy for her to open her eyes, "Don't worry, you won't fall asleep, you will stay awake during the whole thing. Feeling exhausted is one of the effects of the drug, so restraining you would be easier," his lips hover in the close proximity of her neck, which makes her open her eyes a little. His lips fall on her neck, and she releases a silent huff of disgust which crashes against his palm. She wants to scream, but she can't will herself to. Even if she could, she doubts anyone would hear her. His palm would muffle her screams, and those muffled screams would get lost in the music coming from downstairs. He raises his lips from her neck. "Don't you want this, Elena?" he asks disappointingly, or pretending to be disappointed, "I thought you love fucking," he smirks.

_Stefan. Stefan. Stefan. Stefan._

His name is the only thing on her mind. She realizes that she would probably call for him even on the verge of death.

The next thing she knows he's pulling her away from the door with one hand, while his other hand is still pressed on her mouth. It's easy to pull her, she feels like she weights nothing. Like she's made out of rubber. She lost all of her energy, she can even feel her mind falling asleep. Is this how drug works? First your body falls asleep, then your mind, and in the end all you can feel is pleasure coming from a natural human instinct. Is it really so easy to rape someone, practically making it seem like they want it, by slipping something undetectable in their drink? No one wants this, no one asks for this. She sure as hell never did.

She is in a loving relationship, she is happy, college is going great, she talks with her friends often after fearing she might lose contact with them. Everything is perfect.

Everything was perfect.

Will Stefan ever want to touch her after this? Will he count it as cheating? Will she be able to prove to him that it wasn't? How? No one knows what's going on, no one heard her scream because she didn't, because she can't. There will be no bruises on her body because it's so easy to control it in a state like this. She wonders how long will the trace of the drug stay in her system. That would be her only proof, even though it proves nothing. Kids at college do drugs all the time. With his insecurities, he will think she cheated on him. He will break up with her.

She wonders, if she tells him she was raped, would he believe her?

_"Of course he would,"_ she tells herself, _"If you told him you held a shooting star in your hands he would have believed you."_

He throws her on the bed and falls on it right next to her, not removing his hand from her mouth, making it harder for her to breathe. His other hand goes under her dress, his fingers clinging on the hem of her panties, yanking them down her legs. She tries to kick her legs, but she fails to do any harm to him. She doesn't even make it harder to him, tearing her panties off.

She becomes stone cold, and even though she can't feel any of her muscles tightening, in her head her body is rock hard because of this unpleasant experience. Stefan always does it slowly, marveling at her body, devouring her with his look.

But Lucas is not Stefan, and no one else will ever be like Stefan, and after this, the experience won't ever be the same.

She manages enough strength to close her legs, making it harder for him to get to her private areas. But this only makes him laugh.

"You talk big," he says through silent, but maniacal laughter, "But when it comes to actions.." he smirks at her.

He parts her legs with easiness, lifting her dress up her waist and exposing her lower body. "Do you really think you can dress like this.." his open palm falls on her right leg, his fingers going up, over her knee to her thigh, which he squeezes with so much force she wants to scream. Not moan in pleasure, but scream in pain. "And not provoke men to do something like this?"

Is it really her fault? Has she been teasing him unknowingly? Maybe she changed too much, maybe she changed for the worse. Maybe she would be better of if she stayed that quiet, shy girl next door.

He straightens his body in a sitting position, looking her in the eyes. "You dress, talk and act like a little slut," his free hand flies to his zipper, "And I believe little sluts should be punished," he pulls his zipper down, his pants falling down his legs.

He has some problem with removing his underwear so he, just for a moment, removes his hand from her mouth to pull his underwear down. She takes advantage of that situation and finds enough strength in her unwilling body to scream.

His eyes fill with horror, and his open palm lands on her cheek, slapping her so hard that she's sure it will leave a bruise. In pain she finds relief in how the bruise on her cheek could serve as a proof of what he did to her.

"Be quiet!" he screams at her, and she crumbles the sheets with her fingers, every little unexpected sound scaring her. She realizes how full of terror she is, and wonders is that how things are going to be from now on. Is she going to jump at every little, quiet sound in the night?

She whimpers quietly before he muffles her whimpers by putting his palm back on her mouth, and she thinks, _"I love you.."_ closes her eyes, _"And I'm sorry."_

* * *

That scream. It makes his whole body tens, freezes the blood in his veins, buries his feet in the ground. He knows that voice, all to well. He just never heard it sounding so desperate.

He looks at Alisson who's looking at him confused and full of wonder, but before she gets a chance to say anything he's on the stairs, climbing to the second floor in a hurry.

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you just know something bad is about to happen, and you can't do anything to stop it, just watch the tragedy struck? That's how Stefan felt as he climbed on the second floor, running towards the room from which the muffled screams kept coming.

He felt like he's falling apart, like he won't be able to reach the door before his legs give out on him. The feeling of helplessness was making him desperate, as he couldn't figure out from where the feeling came from.

He just knew something bad is going to happen. Is happening.

_"No!"_ he heard a silent scream coming out of the room in front of which he was standing,_ "Please don't, please don't do this to me,"_ she begged. Her voice was weak and desperate, like she's begging for something she knows she can't have, and he never wanted to hear her beg for anything like that.

His hand falls on the doorknob and he turns it, but the door do not fall open. "Elena?" he asks, swallowing her name as his throat tightens.

Everything on the other side of the room stops moving, and every sound falls into silence. Everything except her broken, silent, questionable way in which she says his name. "Stefan?"

In his name she finds relief, salvation, choice and freedom which are rightfully hers, but taken away from her by force.

He hits the door with his closed fist. Once. Twice. Three times. Nothing happens.

She cries out his name in such desperation which breaks his heart.

He kicks the door with his foot. Once. Twice. The last time he uses too much force and they fall open.

He sees him on top of her. His pants around his knees. Both of his hands pressed on the bed next to her head. His eyes lock with Stefan's, and Stefan notices fear in them. There's a lump in his throat. His look shifts to her. She's not even looking at him. Her eyes are closed, her face pale and covered with tears. Tears are leaking from her eyes, down her cheeks, from her chin, falling into her neck. Her lips are parted slightly, and she's choking on her own tears and screams. Her panties are wrapped around her ankles, and her dress is lifted, wrapping around her waist.

Seeing her like that is like having thousand of darts being thrown into his eyes at the same time.

He looks at Lucas and his whole being gets filled with anger and disgust. He moves towards him with a running step, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and moving off of Elena. He holds him with both hands, so high in the air that his feet are not even touching the ground. He slams him into a wall, fire burning in his eyes.

"What do you think you're doing?" Stefan slams him into the wall several times before stopping, giving him a chance to respond, which is much more than he deserves.

Blood starts pouring out of mouth, but somewhere inside of his body he finds enough strength to smirk. "Sharing," he answers smugly.

This only infuriates Stefan more, so he slams his fist into Lucas's face. "I'm going to kill you!" he screams at him, punching him numerous times until his fist becomes sore, "I'm going to fucking kill you!"

"Stefan," she says his name desperately, quietly, and he stops what he's doing to look at her.

Their eyes meet, and his look locks with hers, wanting to take all of her pain and sadness and make it his own.

His Elena, his beautiful Elena. Her hair is all messed up, some strains glued to her cheeks, covered with tears. Her eyes are not full of life and happiness anymore, quite the opposite, they're empty, full of nothingness. Her lips are sharp and dry, and there's a damp in her cheek, yellowish blue circle hiding behind the redness, telling him she got bruised pretty badly. Her arms and legs are shaking, and they're covered with goosebumps. Her panties are still wrapped around her ankles, and her dress is still around her waist.

This it not about him. Or about Lucas. It's about Elena.

He lets go of Lucas and he, surprised, falls on the ground. Stefan, before he leaves, crouches down and says, "If I see you as much as casting a look in her direction again, I swear to God, you won't know what hit you," he gets on his feet, and as he's ready to leave, Lucas opens his mouth.

"Is that a threat?" he spits out blood.

Stefan turns around, biting his lower lip. "No, that's a promise," and he kicks him in the stomach before he turns to leave in Elena's direction.

He sits next to her, stroking her arms with his palms as she weeps. "It's okay, you're going to be okay," he tells her while trying to get her panties up her legs. He puts his hands under her legs, and her hands crawl up his body like a child's when he's asking for help. He pulls her up into his embrace and carries her out of the room.


	37. Chapter 37

He carried her all the way from the house to his dorm room, not even thinking about taking her to hers room, considering her roommates brother just tried to rape her. He didn't want her to be alone, either. Her head was placed in the crook between his neck and shoulder, her breathing silent and low, but her heart was pounding wildly. She was silent, her arms thrown around his neck, but she wasn't clinging onto him. It was like she was afraid to touch him, but at the same time she had to do so. He thought she fell asleep, but she didn't. She couldn't see how she will ever fall sleep again, or at least in the time approaching, when every time she blinked she would see his face, and feel his breath on her skin, as well as his sharp touch and the musky smell he wore. Blink was so fast, and falling asleep was so slow, it's like blinking for million of times in five minutes. So much darkness, so much room for him to invade.

He carried her up the stairs. Luckily, Seth wasn't in the room, he went with the rest of the football team to celebrate the victory. He doesn't know how would he even explain what happened to her, not with Elena there, being able to hear everything. She stayed quiet all the way to his room, and he respected her silence by staying silent himself.

He lowered her on his bed, slowly, and she instantly straightened her body up in a sitting position. Her eyes were dark as the night surrounding them, and she looked like someone sucked all of the life from her. Someone did.

"Do you want to take a shower?" he asks, thinking how she probably wants to get his touch, his scent, his everything off of herself.

She nods at him, like a robot, or maybe like a mannequin someone else is controlling.

"Do you need any help?" he asks, even though he doubts she needs someone else's hands on herself, even if they're his.

She shakes her head, as he expected, and after few minutes gets up from the bed and walks into the bathroom. After some time the water starts running, and he throws himself in his bean bag, burying his face in his open palms. He goes through a phase of denial, moving on to a phase where he blames himself, until the phase of planning revenge comes. When he fails to think of a proper punishment, he realizes it's not about that, it's about helping her. Forget? He doubts she ever will. Move on?

Yes, move on.

After 20 minutes he realizes the water is still running, and he gets concerned, so he heads over to the bathroom, where he can see her crouching on the bottom of the tub.

"'Lena?" he swallows, "Are you okay?"

He doesn't get an answer.

"What are you doing?" he asks when he notices the fast movement of her arm behind the shower curtain.

"I have to get it off," she says through closed teeth, hissing those words out.

"Get what off?" he frowns, moving her clothes from the bathroom floor to the cupboard by the sink.

"Dirt," the rush of water kills the silence of her voice, but he knows he heard the word correctly.

He moves the curtain in a hurry and notices her crouching with a sponge in one hand, rubbing the other with it maniacally. Blood is pouring down her arm, mixing with water. There's extra redness on her skin, or what's left of it, since on some places she got the first layer off.

"Stop," he grabs her hand and tries to take the sponge from her.

"No, I have to clean it off," she fights him off and continues rubbing her skin, creating more bruises and scars on it, "Why won't it go off?" she cries out loud as he takes the sponge from her and throws it into the sink.

She whimpers as he turns the water off. He takes her arm and wipes all the blood off, wrapping it into a towel.

"There's no dirt," he says as he watches the blood protrude through the towel.

"There is," she cries out, "It's inside of me, under my skin," she raises her look and locks her eyes with his, "Please Stefan, I have to get it out, please let me get it out."

It takes all the strength he has in him not to cry. He wraps his arm around her, making her stand up from the tub. "We will get it out tomorrow. Right now, you need to rest," she's so lost she listens to him, even though he's not happy about it since she seems like she has no will of her own.

He takes her out of the bathroom and gives her a pair of his boxers and a shirt to sleep in. She gets dressed and instantly falls on the bed. He makes himself comfortable on the bean bag, waiting for her to fall asleep.

But she doesn't. In two, three, four hours, she's still awake, and so is he. He will stay awake as long as she's awake as well, even if that means forever. She keeps staring into the blackness, too afraid to close her eyes, and sometimes her eyes lock with his, but he sees nothing in them. Nothing but fear. After few hours she turns her back to him, and when he's sure she fell asleep, he allows himself to cry.

The next couple of days pass mostly in silence. He gives her time, and with time she calms down. She doesn't jump to every sound, nor does she twitch when people brush against her anymore. She even lets him sleep in the bed next to her without waking up screaming when he wraps his arm around her in his sleep. He often asks her is she okay even though he knows how stupid that questions sounds, to which she replies she is even though she knows it's a lie. Once he asked her did Lucas hurt her to which she flinched before telling him he got there just in time before he did her any harm. They try to avoid saying his name.

Stefan had to explain to Seth why Elena is staying with them, and why she's acting the way she is. He was understanding and had no problems with her staying over, he even suggested they should find the guy and cut his balls off, which Stefan considered for a shameful moment. She will have to request for another room which might take a while. He went to her room to gather some of her belongings, even though he left the most of it there, he will pack it when she gets assigned with another room. She would have went herself but she didn't want to bump into Anna.

The day after the incident had happened, she kept saying how it's all her fault. Whatever he said to her managed to get inside of her head and convince her she was asking for it. Alisson was of much better help in this area than Stefan was. Stefan was.. soft. Her pain was his pain, her words had the power to break him in half, and when she was feeling down so was he. Alisson was much tougher, and she had no problems with taking her by her shoulders, shaking her and yelling in her face. Stefan would never be able to be rough to her, especially not in this situation. She told her it's not her fault, it's never the victims fault. No one asks to get assaulted. Skirts are not an open invitation, and no means no and there's not a situation in which no means yes. Apparently, Elena gave some thought to this since she stopped blaming herself and started accepting the fact she never provoked him.

Both Stefan and Alisson tried to urge her to report him, but she refused to do so. Even though she realized none of it was her fault, she felt so ashamed of what happened to her. Of how helpless she was. She didn't want anyone to know. Her dad, aunt, Jeremy, not even her friends.

But people knew. And they talked. They kept whispering behind her back. She didn't hear them, or she likes to pretend she can't hear them.

And he can't protect her from that.

He decided to leave the matter aside until she gets better, but he certainly wasn't ready to give up on it. He would go and report him himself, but without her statement his accusations would mean nothing.

And with time she got better. She went to the office and explained why she needs a new dorm room, altering the circumstances a little, but still making them of great importance. She started attending classes regularly, when she noticed her college career is suffering, and she's always been too hardworking to throw everything away. She found her own self worth in things that used to matter to her before. She was coming back to her old self, even though she was still refusing to file any charges, because there was still a little bit of shame of what happened to her present.

Other than her studying, she realized her relationship is suffering gravely. She stopped being intimate with Stefan. In the beginning, he wasn't even able to touch her. In the beginning, he didn't want to. As much as she missed his touch, she was afraid of it. And because of that confusing feeling a new kind of sadness erupted inside of her. Then, he started making physical contact with her again, but she would flinch every time, which would discourage him and he would stop for time being. Silence was their biggest enemy.

She surprised them both when one day, before going to glass, she gave him a goodbye kiss. When that kind of an intimacy didn't scare her, she was encouraged to go for a higher level. She became more eager to touch him, and she accepted his touch with joy, even if it was just hand holding. She started kissing him more, and after she did so, he even started initiating kisses again. Then the make out sessions started, with minimum touching though, and with time, the amount of times his hands flew to her body started increasing. She even tried to initiate sex, but she could never go through with it.

It would only leave her with tears which he would end up wiping. She would keep apologizing to him, which would break his heart, because there's nothing to apologize for, it's not her fault. After so much distance between them, holding her in his arms somehow became more than enough.

The bruise on her cheek stayed there for quite some time, which he tried to mend. He made her go to the doctor to make sure nothing is fractured, and it wasn't, she only got some ointments he applied to her cheeks daily, followed by kisses. He would bring her take out from the restaurant to which they went the first day they came here, which became her favorite. He would make her tea and Alisson would bring her pancakes daily, knowing they're one of her favorite desserts. And when she started complaining how fat she's getting, and how she should go to the gym, he would uncover her stomach, which really wasn't as flat as it used to be before, but with a tiny bit of extra fat on it, and he would kiss it, saying how now there's more of her to love. To which she would smile, and that was his greatest reward, until she started laughing again, so smiling got some tough competition.

In a way, they missed their anniversary, since they did nothing special, but they barely noticed. They had bigger things on their mind even though both of them wished they didn't.

Stefan popped in a movie, and Elena made popcorn, so they made themselves comfortable with their decision on how to spend Saturday evening. When they were halfway across the movie, Elena came closer to him, wiggling herself closer to his body until her lips reached his. He thought she will give him a peck on the lips, as usual, but she didn't stop there. She started kissing him passionately, one of her hands flying to his face, cupping the left side of it, her body slowly grinding against his. Her other hand flies under his shirt, which is when he detaches his lips from hers.

"Elena, you don't have to," he says with a heavy breath.

Her lips scrape on his and he inhales her breath as she says, "I want to," and kisses him.

How long has it been? Three weeks? A month? He hasn't even dared to count, he didn't want to be that selfish.

She peels his shirt over his head and her hands roam over his body. He doesn't dare to take any of her clothes off, at least not too fast. She gets herself on top of him and his hands fly to her hips, gently squeezing her over her pajama bottoms. Her fingers slide over the silky skin of his chest as they ravel in delicious kisses.

Then, she detaches her lips from his rapidly, her eyes shooting wide open, and she jumps off of him on the other side of the bed. Her vision got blurry, as well as her senses, and her mind became fuzzy, and she could sense him all over again. The feeling and everything that followed it kept haunting her, especially when she found herself trying to be physical with Stefan.

She backed into the corner, brought her legs up and curled them against her torso, putting her chin on her knees and saying with a teary voice, "I'm sorry, I thought I can but I can't," a tear falls down her cheek.

Stefan straightens himself up in a sitting position and comes closer to her, putting his hand on her knee, "It's okay," he says warmly.

But she doesn't miss the flash of disappointment in his eyes.

"I'll make you a deal," she raises her head and bumps it against a wall gently.

He raises his eyebrow out of curiosity.

She exhales tiredly before closing her eyes to keep the tears in. "You can have sex with someone else," she opens her eyes slowly, observing the changes on his face, from curiosity to confusion, "I'm giving you a free pass."

He frowns, but doesn't say anything.

"Come on," she says irritated, mostly with herself, "You can't tell me you don't miss sex."

"I miss you," he confesses, "I miss being with you," the lines of his face relax.

"Well you can't have me," she raises her voice, "I'm broken goods, who knows how long will it take for me to move on," she says hysterically, more tears protruding from her eyes.

"Don't talk like that, don't refer to yourself as a broken good," he furrows his brows, "You're not a toy for me to play with. I have no ownership over you and your feelings do not depend on my sexual appetite. My feelings do not matter, not in this situation. Yours do. And I'll wait. I'll wait as long as it takes."

"What if you get tired of waiting?" she wraps her arms around her knees, "I don't want to lose you because of something I can't give you."

He inhales deeply. "Do you really think that low of me? That I would leave you because of sex?" he looks more sad than angry.

She looks lost. There's a look in her eyes he can't quite define. "I don't know what to think anymore," she swallows her words, "Every time we go further, I can hear him whispering those words in my ear, and his disgusting breath and touch so rough that it makes my skin inflame, and I feel like I'm going to fall apart. All the feelings come rushing down at me, and I'm a prisoner of my own mind. My own body is my cage which I literally can't escape. I'm drowning in those awful memories, and half of the time I feel like I can't breathe properly, and I'm afraid I won't be able to ever again."

"You will!" he tries to encourage her, "I'm not going to pretend that I know how you feel, but I know you can do this, and I'll be there for you, every step of the way. We will take things slow. I'm not going anywhere," he says the last sentence silently.

This provides some peace to her mind. She nods. She trusts Stefan, but she doesn't trust her memories. Her body doesn't trust her memories, since all of the beautiful ones are buried under that bad experience. She needs to find a way to dig them out.

He takes on of her hands and kisses each finger separately. "You're so strong, you're the strongest person I know."

"I'm not strong," she squeezes her eyes and shakes her head.

"Yes, you are, you just have to find that strength."

"I wasn't able to fight him off."

"Those were the drugs, they were enabling you to even try," he squeezes her fingers with his, intertwining them, "Besides, I'm not talking about the physical strength. I'm talking about the one that lies within. You've been through so much, and you always manags to fight off the bad stuff and reach for the good. You always find the way around the sadness. Even now, after everything, you're still standing, trying, fighting your way out of it, slowly but effectively," he gives her a look of admiration, and his words make her cry again.

"I'm so scared I won't find my way back to being me," she confesses through tears, to which he lays an open palm to her cheek, making her look up.

"You're already so much more like your old self than you think," he caresses her cheek with the tip of his thumb, "I would have died for you," this makes her shoot him a look of surprise, "But I can't live for you. That's up to you," he wipes her tears away with few brushes of his thumb over her cheeks.

She keeps looking at him for few minutes before she inhales and says, "I think we should go to the police now."

"I think so too."

* * *

_**AN: Honestly, when I got this idea, I wanted to take it in a completely other direction. I planned for her to really get raped, and for Stefan never to come to her rescue. But after seeing how badly she was treated in the show by the writers, disregarding everything she's been through for the sake of a man who wanted to be loved, I simply had no heart to do it. I also didn't want to have him save her and all go back to being rainbows and puppies. I wanted to give her time to find the strength within herself. And of course Stefan had to be there for her, it's only natural. Also, no one should go through something like this by themselves.**_


	38. Chapter 38

When they arrived to the police station, they frowned at them for waiting so long to file a report, but took the matter seriously nevertheless. Still visible bruise on Elena's cheek was a good enough proof, especially since it fitted in the story perfectly. There was no need to examine her physically since it was attempted rape, but even if it were rape, the evidence would be long gone by now. After giving her statement she was appointed to the psychologist, and for some reason, she found it easier talking about it with a complete stranger. With the psychologist she didn't have to worry about what she's going to say since she knew this stranger has no emotional ties to her, so retelling what happened to her won't hurt the person, and she's probably used to hearing this kind of things. It's her job, after all.

She asked will she ever stop feeling like this, and the psychologist was almost positive she will get better in no time if she goes back to her usual routine and lets other people help her, especially those who are close to her. She also warned her not to expect this thing to go away. It happened, and it's always going to be an unpleasant memory, and a reminder not to trust everyone. These things stay with you no matter how hard you try to push them away. You never go back to being who you used to be because this experience, like any other, changes you. But that doesn't mean you have to be unhappy or weary for the rest of your life. It just means that your outlook on the world and people in it will change. Scars will heal, but their trace will always be present.

The psychologist also advised her not to keep this from people who are most important to her, especially her family, so when they went back home for Christmas, she told everyone what happened. The first person she told was aunt Jenna, since she thought she might understand her the best since she was a woman herself, and she was right. She helped her ease the story to her dad and Jeremy, who went through all kind of stages upon hearing it, from confusion to irrational anger. With time, she was able to convince them she's fine now, and her dad couldn't stop thanking Stefan.

She couldn't stop thanking Stefan.

He was there for her when they met up with their friends, holding her hand while she was telling them what happened. She felt guilty that she had to turn their first meeting after four months of not seeing each other into such a sad and depressing time, so she did her best to convince them they can move on with talking about something else, since she's moving on as well.

At least she's trying to.

Stefan and Alisson gave their statements right after Elena, and Alisson told few people who were there that Elena is pressing charges and they gave their statements as well, not even second questioning it. Mostly girls. Anna didn't do it, though, she felt more loyalty to her brother than the sense of doing what's right. Even Lucas's roommate, Ian, gave a statement, how Lucas told him about having interest in Elena and wanting to make a move tonight, but he never told him about Elena having a boyfriend and not being interested in him, or the true nature of his move. He was feeling pang guilty since he was the one who proposed Lucas to take Elena upstairs, just trying to help his friend out.

Even if Lucas doesn't get to serve jail time for attempted rape, there's no way he won't get convicted with so many eye witnesses. He will receive some sort of a punishment, and in that, Elena found satisfaction. She realized she doesn't have to bare the weight of someone else's crimes on her shoulders, she had enough to deal with on her own. Everyone are responsible for their own actions, and if someone inflicts pain upon someone else, they should be held responsible.

It's funny how she thought this thing will drive her and Stefan apart. How in the moment of insanity and despair she actually thought he would be able to leave her while she's bleeding out on the floor, instead of taking care of her wounds. She realized Stefan would never leave her. If he didn't leave now, he won't leave at all.

She didn't want him to leave.

He was her strength, in a way. Her source of power. When she was lacking her own he was willing to let her suck all the life force out of him just so he can see her smiling. In these times laugh was a luxury, so when she did laugh, he painted it in his mind, tattooing it in his memory, so her laugh can never escape him again. He was there for her even when she flinched at his every touch, or when she started kicking him in the middle of the night, begging him to get away from her because she can't handle his body being pressed next to hers. She kicked him out of his own bed, and he didn't say a thing. He would stay by the side of it, like her guardian angel.

Those were the times she wanted to jump out of her own skin, but he didn't let her.

She was aware that she wouldn't have been able to survive without him watching over her. And she didn't think it made her weak, just the opposite. She thought it made her strong. To depend on someone to that extent, when she knew nothing in life is certain. Everything is fickle. Something could rip him away from her any instant now and she would be left alone, but those were the things she didn't want to think about.

She wanted to be with him, forever, because she knew he's the person she wants to spend the rest of her life with. The person she wants to share everything with, her life, her bed, her future, every single detail of her day.

She knew that one day they will marry, and that he will be the father of her children. She knew he's the one.

One what?

One everything.

Which is why, one night, about two months after the tragic occurrence, after they got back from the movies, she asked him is Seth in the room, to which he, innocently and without thinking, said that he's most likely not since it's a Saturday evening. She told him she's not ready to say goodnight yet, but that she doesn't want them to go to her new room since she's still getting to know her new roommate.

"Do you want tea?" he asks her after they enter the room.

"No," she asks silently, her voice sharp.

He frowns. She loves tea. She never says no to tea. Unless something's wrong.

He turns around and catches her sitting on the edge of his bed, her glimmering eyes locking with his, her lower lip pulled inwards under her front teeth.

"No, I don't want any tea," she curls her fingers under the hem of her shirt, pulling it up her body, over her head, leaving herself in nothing but black, lacy bra.

She gets up from the bed and walks over to him, to the spot in which he seems to be buried in, and plants a quick peck on his lips.

"I want something else," she pushes his jacket off of his shoulders, and it falls down his arms on the floor, "I want you," she pushes her eyelids down as her fingers fly to the hem of his shirt and he starts pulling it up. He helps her by lifting his arms up in the air. Her eyelids flutter open and her look falls on his face and she catches him looking at her and this time around his eyes are full of fear. She presses her palms against his chest, and her lips fall to the spot next to her hand, and she starts planting small kisses all over his torso. "I need you," she murmurs against his skin.

His hand finds its way to the back of her neck and his fingers fall through her hair. "Elena," he says her name through a whisper.

"I know," she keeps lifting her head up until she's able to look him in the eyes, "I don't have to do this. The thing is, I want to do this. More importantly, I have to do it," her fingers go in the direction of his zipper and she plays with it for few seconds until she finally pulls it down. "I miss you," those words escape her lips so silently she's not even sure she said them until she hears his exhale full of relief, "I miss being with you. I miss," she bites her lower lip once again, "I miss that feeling," she doesn't even have to say which feeling because he knows what she means.

Luckily for her since that feeling doesn't have a name nor are there words appropriate enough to describe it. That feeling has no form or smell, it doesn't take place at certain time, nor is it the most common feeling in the world. We're born with it, with the power to make someone feel that way, and with the same feeling instilled in us. That feeling is locked behind the iron door and there's only one key in entire world that opens that door.

Maybe that feeling is an equivalent to fire. It can either warm your heart or burn it down.

"I can't breathe without you," her hands start sliding up and down his arms.

His hands fly under her bottoms and he picks her up in his arms. She wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, lowering her head in the crook between his shoulder and neck.

That crook is like her own personal space on his body, made perfectly for her head to fit.

He lowers her on the bed before his unzipped pants fall down his legs and he pushes them away before placing himself on top of her and for the first time after a long time she sees exactly what she's supposed to see, or better yet, who.

"Stefan," she sings out his name like it's a melody, and he concludes his name sounds so sweetly on when it comes out of her mouth, "I'm pretty sure," she puts the tip of her fingers on his cheek and he turns his head slightly to kiss the open palm of her hand, "No, I'm almost positive," she struggles with words until the smile creeps on her face as a sign she finally found the right ones, "No, I'm absolutely positive that I belong with you," she locks her eyes on his.

He lowers his lips on her collar bone and as he kisses it, she shivers in delight. "Mhm," he says, something between a moan and confirmation.

"I love you so much," she says as he keeps planting kisses on her chest, removing the straps of her bra from her shoulders, "You're the love of my life," words just keep pouring out of her mouth, even the ones she shouldn't have said.

He stops with the kisses and she freezes, fearing she went too far or said too much. He raises his head and brings it closer to her until their eyes are in the same level, and he smiles with them. "And you're the love of mine."

He kisses her lips, oh so gently, that her whole body turn into a puddle which melted under the sun, and he takes away all the pain and unpleasant memories other mans mouth left on them, so violently, so undeserving.

He covers all the bruises and brings her lips to a state they used to be - gentle, soft, innocent.

She hums delighted as their lips separate.

His lips scrape against her cheek, tenderly, mending the piece of her body that another person so unrightfully bruised.

He brushes the tip of his nose against her cheek, and a satisfactory smile appears in the corners of her lips.

His lips go down her body, her neck, shoulders, stomach, and he keeps paying attention to even those places that do not need any extra attention, making her moan in the process, with those sweet, melodically delicious moans of hers.

He lingers around the little scar left from her bullet hole on her abdomen just because that's something he always does.

Then he unzips her jeans and pulls them down her legs, gently fondling her thighs, and it takes her some time to get rid of the nasty feeling in the pit in her stomach. But when his hands fall on her skin she doesn't get that cold feeling she got that night, nor does her mind screams how wrong this is. No, her heart jumps a little before relaxing and her mind is full of satisfaction before she becomes numb, so she lets go. To him.

His lips fall on the skin of her thighs, slowly, gently, softly. Her skin is hot, and so are his lips. They put each other on fire and burn. And in their own ashes they find the new meaning of life, and like a phoenix, they rise because in their own death they find salvation.

Minute by minute, kiss by kiss, touch by touch, inch by inch of her skin, he heals her.

You _fall in love_ because it's something you need, you _love_ because it's something the other person needs.

Afterwards, while she's still lying on top of him, his heart pounding wildly against his chest, and her heart pounding in the same rhythm, while she's breathing into his skin and her hair is sprawled across his chest, she asks him, "How did you know to come?"

He starts playing with her hair. "When you're lying on top of me, or next to me, I can feel you. When you're on the other side of the room, or in the room next door, or in the building next to mine, I can feel you," he kisses the top of her head, "Do you know when I can feel you the best, though?" he asks, but she knows he doesn't expect an answer, "When you're miles away from me," he replies to his own question, "I think it's because that's when I'm trying to feel you the most," she smiles against his skin, "I wanted to see you. Something was telling me I have to see you. After our fight I didn't want to leave things unresolved until tomorrow."

"Stefan Salvatore," her light laugh makes his skin vibrate, "My savior."

He wraps his arms around her and pulls her in for a kiss.

"Promise me you will never leave me," he whispers against her lips.

She answers, for the first time ever, with utmost certainty, "I promise."

* * *

**_AN: Thank you for your lovely reviews, they really do mean a lot to me._**

**_Warning, there will be only two or three more updates to this story._**


	39. Chapter 39

During their second year of university Elena started working as a barista in a popular coffee shop on the campus, making her college career a little bit harder, but not impossible. On her third year she found a better offer in a local bookstore, and Stefan often joked she will give up on college and stay in that little bookstore forever, since she fell in love with it since the first time she stepped inside of it. It was a small, quaint bookstore in the center of the city in an little, old, rusty building between a mall and a skyscraper. Elena was surprised they managed to stay in business but she was determined to help them keep it running.

During the third year Stefan got scouted by Giants as well, which had put some extra pressure on their relationship since he was out of the town a lot, especially during the football season, barely finishing his college obligations. Elena didn't let him quit, though, she helped him as much as she could, and he succeeded in playing football professionally and dealing with his college obligations.

Elena had a steady paycheck and due to so little time to spend all the money, most of it stayed sitting on her bank account, allowing her to save some money, which was nothing on Stefan's income due to the perks of playing in the professional league.

They got themselves a little apartment near the campus. Nothing big, nothing fancy, just a two room flat, enough for them to live in when they decided their dorm rooms do not provide them with enough privacy anymore. They needed something more, they had to take the next step.

When they were done with college, after receiving their diplomas, they moved to New York and Elena had to give up her dream to live in San Francisco. Well, that's what relationships are about anyway, compromise. For her, he finished college, majoring in Socioeconomic, and she moved to New York for him.

Maybe one day she gets a chance to live in San Francisco, but until then, New York will do just fine. It wasn't even as half as bad as he thought it would be. It was easier for Stefan since New York was the home of his team so he didn't have to travel so much anymore and they got to spend more time together.

She got herself a job in the publishing industry, but she had a hard time saying goodbye to the small bookstore in New Jersey and the owners were having a hard time with letting her go.

Despite their parents best efforts to bring them home after getting their diplomas, at least for a while, that simply wasn't possible. Neither of them were sure they even want to go back to Mystic Falls, at least not right now.

Bonnie stayed in New York as well, still working at the recording label she had her internship in.

Rebekah and Damon got married during her second year of college. It came out of the blue, actually. He suggested they should get married while he was drunk. She accepted the proposal while being drunk herself. The next day they drove to Vegas to get it done with. After getting a diploma Rebekah decided it would be best for her future career of a fashion designer, if they moved to New York as well. Luckily, Damon was able to get a job at the same company he was working in, just in a different city.

Tyler and Caroline broke up some time ago, then they got back together, then broke up again, and so on over the years. They're still having an on-off relationship even though Caroline stayed in Los Angeles, working as an assistant of a party planner, and Tyler went back to Mystic Falls.

Over the years Stefan had the opportunity to watch Elena grow into a beautiful, sophisticated, elegant, confident young woman, and he was pretty sure the look she was wearing at the age of 25 wasn't the last edition of her he will see. He had the luxury of knowing that chubby four year old, with thick, curly brown hair and chocolate smudged around her mouth. He also had the luxury of knowing a ten year old whose hair now thinned and somehow got straight, who was taller than him and better coordinated. He watched that playful girl turn into a bookworm with long, lean legs, with a heart that held million of stories and eyes which were indicating her soul was much older than anyone would think. He loved all of those girls. He also loved the woman those girls grew into.

He loves that woman.

They decided to go out for dinner. He watched her get ready.

He smiled because she was so oblivious of his thoughts and he was so undeserving of hers.

He watches her as she pulls her brush over her hair, slowly, graciously, before she puts it down on her vintage table in their bedroom, and pulls her long fingers through the softness of her hair. Few strains of her hair fall out of the place and her reflection in the mirror smiles at her because she hates when her hair is too tamed.

She pulls skin color stockings up her legs and slips into a tight, comfortable little black dress, and after few seconds of thinking she decides to wear stilettos over pumps. She applies minimum make up, like she usually does, little bit of mascara and blush, while he especially enjoys hew newly discovered fondness of red lipstick.

"See something you like?" she asks playfully when she catches him watching her.

A delighted smile appears on his face, which is, at the same time, his response to her question. She grabs the clutch bag from the dresser and puts it under her arm, walks over to him and gives him a peck on the lips, enjoying the fact she's the same height as him now when she's wearing high heels.

She fixes the collar of his blazer before she brings her face closer to his neck, taking the smell of his perfume up her nostrils, making a silent, moaning sound as she nuzzles her nose against she skin of his neck.

He takes her by the hand, lacing his fingers with hers, making her pull her head up, and once she did the moment of dizziness occurred. She smiled at him and followed his step which led towards the front door.

He took her to a small Italian restaurant on the next block, a restaurant which soon became their favorite and in which all of the waiters know them by their first names. It's nothing big like most things in New York are. It's small and cozy and everyone are friendly and, in some ways, it reminds them of home.

They laughed. He loved making her laugh, and she loved how after all these years he was able to make her laugh.

He often made inappropriate comments, and she still blushed when those words escaped his mouth. Some things never change.

They ate, drank, she stole his dessert after she finished hers.

He held her hand on the way home and gave her his blazer because the night was chilly and she didn't bring a jacket.

She whispered she wants him into his ear, and his fingers sank into her skin through the thin fabric of her dress.

Their apartment is on the fifth floor of the building. It's a spacey two bedroom apartment. At the front there's a small hallway with peach walls and hardwood floor, coat hanger and bunch of pictures on the walls. She knows nothing about art, he knows even less, but she loves buying those black and white pictures every chance she gets. It became a habit which soon turned into an addiction. The hallway leads to the living room with three white walls and one painted in the color of blood. Stefan picked out the leather sofa and the big television screen, and Elena picked out the rest of the furniture, mostly shelves for her books. There's a small kitchen in the back, and on the other side there's door to their bedroom which is connected to the bathroom.

Words _their bedroom_ leave a sweet taste in both of their mouths.

She falls on the sofa and pulls him down with herself. He puts his hands on the sofa beside her body so he wouldn't crush her with his weight, even though he doubts she would even notice since she's devouring his lips hungrily while trying to get his shirt off of him. Her fingers are busy with the buttons of his shirt and before she gets it off completely he pushes himself away from her, detaching himself from her. She looks up at him confused, maybe even a little bit disappointed.

"I have a surprise for you," he smiles nervously before disappearing behind the bedroom door.

She claps with the palms of her hands excitedly like a little kid. She loves surprises.

He comes out of the room, carrying what seem to be a book as thick as the Bible, maybe even thicker, with old, brown cover. But there are no stitches sticking out of it, indicating her that it's brand new despite the fact it looks old.

He hands the book to her, lowering it in her hands. Once she gets a better chance to look at it she realizes it's not made out of paper, but out of plastic, and it feels a little bit hollow.

She directs him a questioning look and he mimics for her to open the book.

When she does she realizes she was right, it is made out of plastic. And between two thin plastic walls there are photographs. Photographs of them since kindergarten, in a chronological order. There's a picture of them on a kindergartens playground, first day of school, summer camp, her birthday party. On the next page there are pictures of them from High School. The picture of him trying to push her in the pool in Rome someone took, them kissing at a party, dancing at Prom, followed by their pictures from college and beyond.

She can feel tears prickling behind her eyelids everytime she blinks, but she stops herself from crying because, even though she's on the last page, she can feel there's more to the book. She turns the last page around and finds the source of hollowness. There's a small hole in the middle with a little, black box placed inside of it.

She gasps upon seeing it there because she knows exactly what it is and something clamps around her heart, making it harder for her to breathe. She raises her look up to him, her eyes locking with his. There's something inside of his throat he can't swallow. His fingers travel to the small hole in the book and he takes the little, black box out of it, twirling it between his fingers.

"I've been thinking a lot about doing this," he keeps his look on the box in between his fingers, "Days, weeks, months probably. Sometimes it seems like years. It probably was years. I've known a long time ago that I want to marry you," a small smile crept up on the corners of his lips, making her smile lightly as well. He closed the book and shifted it on the couch so her lap is free, before taking her hand into his and falling on one knee.

He was nervous. He never thought he will be nervous. And he wasn't nervous because he thought she might say no. He wasn't nervous out of all the manly reasons like being tied to one woman for the rest of his life. He had no problems with being with her, and only her, for as long as he lives. His nervousness was the product of excitement.

Her palms were sweaty. But that's okay, so were his.

She was fighting to keep her breath steady until she realized she lost it completely. Her heart was pounding violently, her eyes burning alongside her cheeks, and her throat was dry. She felt like she was going to pass out even though she knew this moment will come one day.

She knew she's going to marry him one day as well.

"You know how fucking much I love you," he said, making her smile, "We've been through so much together, and I really don't need a piece of paper, or a ceremony as a confirmation that you're mine," he raises his look from the box and looks into her shimmering eyes, "But I want it, and I know you want it, so I want to give it to you. I want the whole world to know how much I love you," he opens the box and her eyes fall on the ring inside of it and she squeals silently upon seeing it. He lets go of her hand for a moment to take the ring out. He tosses the box on the sofa and takes her hand back into his. "So, it would be great if you decide to do me the honor of becoming my wife."

"Yes," she says right after he finishes his sentence. She smiles at him and he smiles right back at her as he slides the ring down her finger.

She throws her arms around his neck and their lips find a way to each other.


	40. Chapter 40

"Thank you for not making us wear hideous bridesmaid dresses!" Caroline squeals out of happiness while checking herself in the mirror, straightening an elegant, red dress on her waist. "Now I can interact with people, you know, fulfilling my maid of honor duties, while being able to look them in the eyes with some dignity," she smiles at her reflection in the mirror, dark red lipstick making her lips ten times more attractive, her perfect curls bouncing on her shoulders.

Picking a maid of honor was a difficult job. Bonnie was the first person who popped into her head. But the truth is, over the years, the two of them drifted apart. Bonnie simply never had time for anything, not between college and her job in the record label. Even after they got their diplomas she was always either buried in work, or sleeping. She saw Bonnie once a month if she were lucky. When they went home during the holidays Bonnie was never there either. Caroline seemed a much more logical choice than either Rebekah or Alisson since she knew her longer and, the truth be told, even though she was on the other side of the continent, Caroline always found a way to be there for her, even if trivial problems were the matter of her worries. Also, being the party planner, Elena knew she can count on Caroline for understanding, and granting, her wishes when it comes to the wedding.

"Even if I wanted to Rebekah wouldn't have let me," she says nervously, glancing at Rebekah who was already on her fourth glass of champagne. Luckily for her, Rebekah had a high breaking point. "The dresses are her design," she adds with a smile on her face, thinking how the dresses came out really nice. They're perfect. Not tacky, but they don't stand out either. They're strapless with a heart shape for the top, allowing some cleavage, while the skirt of the dress is skin tight and reaching just above the knees. The color matched Bonnie's dark skin as well as three blondes fair skin, and when Elena saw them standing next to each other for the first time in those dresses she knew that's what she wants.

"That's right," Rebekah leaves the champagne glass on the table and reaches for her lipstick, applying a thicker coat of it on her thin lips, "When you look back at your wedding day I want you to remember it fondly instead of thinking why did you feel the need to dress your bridesmaids like clowns because of your irrational insecurities that you're not the most beautiful woman in the room and that all of the eyes are not on you," she brings her lips closer together, rubbing them against each other before puckering them in the direction of a mirror. "I mean, it's not like you have anything to hide, like a huge baby bump," she closes her lipstick and throws it in her purse before twirling on her heel and looking at Elena in shock, "You aren't pregnant, are you?" her look falls on Elena's flat stomach and instantly she knows that possibility is off the list.

Elena laughs while shaking her head, "No."

Rebekah exhales, maybe even a little bit disappointed. "Too bad," she slumps back on the little sofa in the room, "Dylan could use a cousin to play with."

Rebekah gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with piercing blue eyes and a patch of blonde hair a year ago. The baby, Dylan, just had his first birthday last week, and even though Rebekah swears she enjoys being a mom, it's also evident she hates the stroll motherhood had put on her career. She started working as an assistant to a fashion designer only two years before she got pregnant and now she's not even sure her job is still waiting for her. And she needs it because she needs experience and funds to go through with her life long dream - to open a design studio. Elena asking her to design her bridesmaid dresses was a great uplift for Rebekah since it's the first thing she designed since she gave birth. She should be going back to work next month.

"Dylan will have to wait," Elena brushes her fingers over her stomach, thinking how one day she would love to be a mom, but not right now. She doesn't think either her or Stefan are ready to be parents yet. She also knows if they were forced into the situation that they would manage.

Rebekah looked so tired most of the time, plus her stories about stretched skin and extra weight didn't push Elena any closer to wanting a baby. She wasn't willing to give up her body just yet, even though Rebekah tried to convince her that her skin would probably just bounce right back where it was. It seemed elastic while Rebekah's skin was like rubber - once you stretch it, it stays like that. She wasn't ready to put a hold on her career either, not unless she's sure her job would be waiting for her once she comes back from the maternity leave.

Damon has been of great help, though, and Elena was sure Stefan would be the same. He has thoughts of their life together longer than she does, so he probably thought everything through. He would never give up on something he spent so much time thinking about, looking forward to.

The door open and Elena hears a high pitched cry, "Oh sweetie," she notices Jenna's reflection in the mirror. Jenna puts her hands over her mouth and her eyes fill with tears upon seeing Elena in her wedding dress. "You look beautiful," she starts walking towards her niece, putting her hands around Elena's shoulders. Her dress is snow white, every one of the girls pointing out the irony, and has a corset for the top. Thanks to her slim figure and thin waist she doesn't look like she's suffocating in it. It gives her a nice cleavage, nothing too obvious though. Around her waist, where her corset ends, there's a thin, sparkly line decorated with diamonds, and that's where her dress begins to spread into a princess like dress features. Her hair is curled up and left to fall over her bare shoulders. Jenna takes the veil from the table and attaches it to the clutch in Elena's hair which is barely visible through the thickness of the curls. "If only your mom could see you.." she says quietly, not wanting to turn this into a sad moment, but feeling the need to bring her sister into this.

Elena puts her palm over one of Jenna's hands and squeezes her fingers with hers, "She can," she smiles at their reflection in the mirror.

Jenna smiles right back at her, indicating that she understands the meaning behind Elena's words. "And she is so proud of you," she squeezes Elena's shoulders tighter. More tears appear in Elena's eyes and she barely manages to stop them from flowing down her cheeks. She wishes her mom could be here, physically. She wants to see her face and hear her voice, because the memory of it is slowly fading away year after year. She knows she will never forget her mom completely, but some things, like the way her mom used to sing along her favorite radio program while preparing lunch or the sanctuary she found in her words, are slowly disappearing. She wanted to see the expression on her moms face when she tells her she fell in love with that potty mouth boy who used to copy her homework, than she got engaged to the same boy and that she is pregnant with the baby who will most likely have the same potty mouth as his father. She always thought her mom will be here for all those things.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Jenna jumps a little, her hands flying in the direction of her clutch purse, "I promised you something old."

Her garter is something new and something blue at the same time, while the clutch in her hair is something borrowed from Caroline. Jenna promised to bring something old.

Out of her purse she takes out a locket on a necklace. It's marble white, with thin pink veins across it, and with a silver necklace attached to it, it definitely looks antique.

"When me and your mom were about twelve, we went to visit our aunt in California," Jenna starts talking while unclasping the necklace and swinging it around Elena's neck, "The day before we were to head home, she took us downtown and said we can choose anything we want to buy on her expense. Of course, I bought shoes," laugh escapes both of their throats, "But your mom spent hours in this little vintage store until she laid eyes on this locket. I have no idea how it even got in my possession," she clasps the necklace around Elena's neck and the locket fall on her chest.

Elena wraps her fingers around the locket, holding back tears. "Thank you," she says with a muttered voice. She squeezes the locket in her hand, feeling it embedding into her skin. "What if I suck at being a wife?" her eyes widen and lock with Jenna's in the mirror.

"What?" Jenna asks confused, furrowing her brows.

"Think about it, what if I start noticing things, like him checking out other girls on the street and withholding sex?" her breath becomes faster, harder, and her open palm falls on her chest.

"Here it comes," Rebekah takes another sip of her champagne, "The panic attack," she sits back, falling deeper into the sofa, expecting Caroline to start panicking more than Elena any minute now.

"Oh boy," Caroline says, trying to catch her breath, "This sounds like a maid of honor duty!" she squeals, "What should I do?" she looks at the rest of the girls, "Slap her? Give her some drugs? Maybe alcohol? I could splash her with cold water! Oh, or put some ice in her bra!" she goes through ideas on how to help Elena.

Rebekah rolls her eyes. "Just talk to her."

Caroline frowns. "Right," she coughs to cover the irritation in her voice, "I knew that," she walks over to Elena and takes her by the shoulders, "Sweetie, what's wrong?" she tries to reach her friend who seems to be in a panic mode.

Elena locks her eyes with Caroline's and says silently, "What if I rushed into this?"

A smile appears on Caroline's face, that light smile which often signals everything will be okay, and she brushes her off. "Elena, you and Stefan have basically been married since kindergarten, this is just a formality."

Somehow, Caroline always finds the right words to say.

"You seem to be forgetting about the time when we couldn't stand each other," Elena cocks her eyebrow in her friends direction, calming down a little.

Caroline rolls her eyes. "You mean when he was a horny 14 year old and thought cheerleading outfits are sexier than skinny jeans?"

Now he's a horny 25 year old who thinks cheerleading outfits are sexier than skinny jeans.

So what changed?

She changed. He changed as well.

She could be wearing a coat and she would still look sexy to him. Because he knows what's underneath. But not just underneath the coat, but underneath the three layers of her skin as well.

"Plus," Caroline smirks, caressing Elena's shoulders, "What's an epic love story without few obstacles on the way?"

Elena smiles at her comment and nods.

"It's time," Rebekah announces, putting the champagne glass on the table and getting up from the sofa.

Jenna gives Elena one more squeeze before running back to her place. The girls point Elena out of the room towards the entrance of the church where her dad is waiting for her. April comes in the last minute, fixing her dress, and Elena notices her boyfriend slipping on the spot next to Jenna. April gives Elena an apologetic smile and mouths _"I'm sorry"_, but Elena just shakes her head with a smile forming on her lips.

"You make a beautiful bride," her dad whispers in her ear after Caroline pushes a flower bouquet in Elena's hands, "You have no idea how much you resemble your mother when she was your age," Elena puts her arm under her dads and gives him a kiss on the cheek to thank him.

The girls align and when the music starts playing, they start walking down the aisle. Once they reach their destination the music changes and her dad asks her, "Ready?"

She nods happily and responds, "As ready as I'll ever be," and they start walking down the aisle. As soon as she steps on the path between rows and rows of seats, her eyes lock with Stefan's who is standing by the alter. His eyes wander all over her body, from the top of her head where the clutch that holds her veil is hidden in her curly hair to the hem of her dress which is dragging behind her. A satisfied smile appears on his face and she smiles back at him. Her dad kisses her on the cheek one more time, and before he gives her to Stefan she places the bouquet in Caroline's hands. She puts her hands in Stefan's and he squeezes them tightly, caressing them with his thumbs.

_"You look breathtakingly beautiful,"_ he mouths in her direction.

Out of some reason she blushes before mouthing back at him, _"You don't look so bad yourself."_

Bad? When he wears a tux she can feel all of her bones rattling inside of her body.

The priest starts talking but she can barely hear a word he says because she's so busy with gazing into Stefan's eyes. She knows the drill and she knows it's not required from her to speak until the vows.

_The vows._

"I remember clearly my first ever memory of you," he starts talking, still caressing her hands with his thumbs, "I remember this short, chubby girl, with big, brown locks covering her even bigger brown eyes, sitting behind one of those yellow, plastic tables, scraping her front teeth over the top of color pencil. Soon enough, every color pencil in the kindergarten had teeth scrapes over the top. Sometimes I still see you as that girl, especially when I find a pencil with teeth marks on it lying around," he smiles at the memory, "That same girl saved me from agreeing to one of those stupid, boy dares and from that moment on," he looks at her and notices her eyes are smiling at him, "You keep saving me. Every day, every night, every second of every day, you keep saving me in every way a person can be saved. You're my own personal guardian angel," the corners of her lips keep going up until they stay in that position, "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, to wake up every morning with those beautiful eyes staring back at me, to have children to whom you're probably going to want to give the weirdest names and I probably won't do a thing to stop you," she smiles because she knows it's true, "I'm planning on making your life so painfully pleasurable that just the thought of leaving it makes your whole body ache," he says with a husky voice before he smirks, "Because I fucking love you."

Almost everyone in the church chuckle, even though only few selected people know those words have history behind them.

"We've been through so much together," she starts, "There were good times, and then, there were bad times," she says with a lump in her throat, "The thing is, you see, you showed me a completely different side of life. You taught me to never give up, even when I have no reason to continue, with a little help of your ability to make me smile when I'd rather be crying. You taught me that even though bad things happen, that doesn't mean that's the end of the good ones. You taught me not to be scared of trying again. In a way, you taught me how to live," she gives him an appreciative smile, "I am who I am today because of you, and I don't think I would come this far if you haven't held my hand every step of the way. Most importantly," she says through a low, muffled whispers, "You taught me how to love. You made it look so easy," a smile forms on his lips as those words escape her, "Oh, I fucking love you too," she adds, and everyone chuckle one more time.

After exchanging their vows they exchange their rings.

"I pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss the bride."

* * *

**AN: One more chapter left. I have exams coming up so I don't know when I'll catch time to write it, so I apologize if it takes me little more time than usual :)**


	41. Chapter 41

"Da-da," small feet, with five small fingers attached to each, tap over the hardwood floor of the living room, repeating the word _"da-da"_ countless of times, until she finally reaches for her father on the other side of them room. She raises her hands and wiggles her fingers in the air, gesturing for him to take her in his arms.

He puts his hands around her small waist, gently clenching his fingers around it, and lifts her in his arms. "Hey there princess," he kisses her red cheek, maybe from all the walking she did, or maybe it's the natural blush she inherited from her mother.

She feels so small in his arms, she's still a baby, one year and two months old. There are small, light curls hanging around her face, touching her burning cheeks, her dark, brown hair giving a nice contrast to her leaf green eyes. Her nose is the size of a tip on his little finger, and her mouth are drawn into a long, thin line, looking especially beautiful when she smiles, with a little help of its cherry red color.

"Lizzy?" Elena says her daughters name in the form of a question. When the baby doesn't answer back, which mostly always she does, even if it is with a gurgle, she always has some reaction to her name being called out, Elena calls for her one more time, "Lizzy," Stefan hears his wives voice coming out of the kitchen.

"Did you run away from mommy?" he chuckles at his daughter, removing the locks from her face. She giggles at him, pinching his nose with her little fingers.

"Lizzy," Elena keeps calling her name, each time more desperately, and Stefan can hear her footsteps getting closer.

"Should we tell mommy you're safe?" he cocks his eyebrow in his daughters direction and she watches the way his lips move carefully, "Or should we let her sweat a little more?" he smirks and Lizzy giggles at his face expression like she's approving of his idea. She taps her palms against his cheeks, feeling his cheekbones with her fingertips.

"Elizabeth!" she calls for her daughter helplessly, approaching the living room with fast step.

She enters the living room and her look falls on her daughter in her husbands arms. She's exploring his face like she's seeing it for the first time, trying to reach for his hair, tugging onto the hem of his shirt while he's trying to keep the untamed hair out of her eyes and wipe the drool off of her lips. She puts her hands on her hips, swinging a little on the side, and calls out her full name, "Elizabeth Christine Salvatore," she furrows her brows in her daughters direction as she turns her head around to face her mother.

"Ma-ma," Lizzy says, locking her big, brown eyes on her mothers, exploring her face expression. She turns around to face her father, putting her hands over her mouth after saying, "Angry," with an irregular _r_ she decides to swallow. Stefan laughs at his daughters cuteness.

"Yes, I am angry," Elena says, trying to keep her face straight, "I've been looking everywhere for you!" she takes her out of Stefan's arms, even though Lizzy struggles to stay attached to her father. "Are you ready for your punishment?" the corners of her lips turn upwards, forming a smile.

Lizzy's eyes widen upon hearing the word _punishment_.

"Here it comes," she uncovers her daughters belly and blows air into it, making her burst into laughter. Stefan puts his fingers on her small torso and starts tickling her gently, making her laugh louder.

When Elena pulls her mouth away from her daughter belly, Stefan takes his hands to himself and Lizzy's laughter subsides.

Elena positions Lizzy on her hip and makes few steps towards Stefan, stepping on her toes and kissing him on the lips.

"Mmm," he murmurs, making her stop when she tries to pull away from him, wanting to feel the taste of her lips for a little while longer.

At the age of 30, Stefan found his wife as beautiful as she was back in college. Her hair was still long, reaching the middle of her back, and he enjoyed pulling his fingers through it. Her eyes grew more tired each day, but they were also filled with experience and love only few could phantom. Her lips are as subtle as ever, even more delicious if it's possible. She still has her slender figure and long legs. Motherhood has changed her. She became even more emotional, but she's also more determined.

When she finally detaches herself from him, she asks, "When are you going to be back?"

He puts a sport bag on his shoulder and wraps his fingers around his suitcase handle. "Sooner than you might think."

She pouts at him, swaying Lizzy in her arms, "I hate being in this huge house all alone."

When Elena got pregnant with Lizzy, they decided it's time for them to sell their apartment and move into something more spacey and family friendly.

"You're not alone, you have Lizzy," he points at the baby in her arms with his look.

She huffs. "All the worse," she shakes her head, "Imagine if someone breaks in and you're not here to protect us," she shudders at the thought of it, since she's aware that happening is very likely possible. "Plus," a devilish smile appears on her face, "Sometimes I get really.." she mouths the word _horny_ to him because she doesn't want to say it out loud in front of Lizzy.

A grin appears on her face. "Babe, that's the first thing I will take care of when I walk into the house," he lowers his lips on hers one more time, "I might take you right there on the front door," he can feel smile forming on her lips as his scrape over hers.

She sighs. "Time to say bye to daddy," she takes her daughters arm into hers and makes her wave in Stefan's direction.

"Da-da go?" Lizzy frowns at Stefan, "No," she says with a crying voice, extending her arms in his direction.

Elena whimpers as she hands the baby to Stefan.

"I will be back in no time," he kisses the top of his daughter nose, "Keep mommy safe, bumblebee."

* * *

When Elena gets pregnant for the second time, Stefan decides it's time to end his career. He loves his family more than anything else in the world and he doesn't want to wait for an injury, or old age, to put him into retirement. Money is no problem, not with what he made so far, and with Elena's current job which has a steady income.

When he quits, Elizabeth is four years old, and his decision makes her happier than it makes anyone else. Whenever he left the house for a long period of time, Elena was left alone in the house with a screaming toddler. Elizabeth got attached to her father like most of the little girls do, and even though she loved her mother to no ends and spent almost every waking moment with her since she was a baby, she felt a special bond to her father. So when he retires, she takes him into her room and barely lets him out, making him a frequent guest at her tea parties, making him sit still during face painting and in time, even convincing him into buying a puppy.

When the second baby, Coleen, comes, Elizabeth feels a little bit jealous and detaches herself from both of her parents. This makes Elena inconsolable, because even though she knows the newborn needs her more, there's a certain bond a mother has with her firstborn. After some time Elizabeth warms up to the idea of having a sister, and accepts Coleen into the family.

When the girls start attending preschool, Stefan realizes he has a little too much time on his hands so he decides to invest into opening a bar, which, luckily, considering their neighborhood, kicks in. After only few months they get a huge overflow of money, which makes Elena breathe lighter since she wasn't certain her husbands idea will take a stroll.

She gives birth to a boy, Noah, one month too early, and he's too weak to do anything on his own, including breathing. Elena stays in the hospital longer than she has to, sitting by his incubator day and night, watching his little chest rise and fall, barely. Stefan takes care of the girls, but he struggles with the problem more than he lets Elena believe.

He always thought Elena is a much better parent than he is. He's a fun dad. He takes them to a bouncy castle and buys them rides on carnivals and lets them eat candy before dinner. They love him because he breaks the rules their mother sets, knowing they can't get in trouble because they were listening to one of their parents. He loves his children very much, but he never finds it in himself to be strict, maybe because his father was too cold and too strict towards both him and his brother. He never wanted to have such a relationship with his children.

But Elena is the one who keeps every tooth, who convinces them veggies are delicious, who stays awake at night when they a fever, holding their hand and cooling their foreheads, and who every year on their birthday cries while going through a photo album because she knows her babies are no longer babies. She has a connection to them which he will never be able to understand or experience, and there's a reason why they call for mommy every time they fall and bruise a knee.

Even though doctors say there's a high chance he won't make it, Noah makes a slow, but steady recovery. As he grows up, Elena becomes too protective over him, even though he grows up to be a strong boy with light, brown hair and big brown eyes. Out of their three children Noah resembles Elena the most, not only in the looks, such as the color of his hair and eyes or the gentle features of his face, but in the personality as well.

The fourth, and the last baby comes a bit unexpectedly, as a surprise, after Stefan catches Elena crying while putting away baby clothes she's never going to use again. She comes shortly after her brother, but as a polar opposite to him.

Stefan teaches them how to ride a bike and how to swim. He sets them a playground in the backyard, and Elena insists he puts the same tree house she had while they were growing up. He dislikes the idea but does it anyway.

Elena introduces her children to books and fairytales and fictional characters and Elizabeth is the one who takes most after their mother in that area. By the age of ten her bedroom is full of books, she has so many of them she can sleep on them. She lives inside of them most of the time, anyway. Coleen takes up playing violin, and Stefan gets Noah into football. It doesn't take much, it seems to be in his genes. Elena is a little weary of the idea in the beginning, remembering her son trapped into an incubator, but she still bakes cookies and goes to each and every one of his games. The youngest one, Blair, takes up ballet to waste all of the extra energy she has, and Elena hopes she sticks to it longer than she did when she was younger.

They love hearing the story of how mommy and daddy met, even when they become older and get lives of their own.

Elena opens up a small bookstore between two skyscrapers, in a small, ruined building. It took time, money and effort to make it seem presentable, and even though business wasn't God knows much, it made Elena happy. And that's all Stefan cares about.

At the age of 50, Stefan finds his wife as beautiful as she was twenty years ago. Her hair got a little bit shorter, and her eyes still seem tired, but they also radiate a certain kind of warmness he found in her eyes only. Life took it's stroll on her, mostly work, and giving birth, as well as raising, four children. She tries to dye her hair to seem natural, but he knows there are grays underneath, but he doesn't mind. She's still his Elena, long hair or no hair, brunette or gray, she will always be that little, chubby toddler with a chocolate smudged around her mouth.

Elizabeth and Coleen go to college, and soon enough Noah and Blair follow. They fall in love, start families of their own, leaving Stefan and Elena alone, like they were in the beginning.

Stefan sits in his favorite armchair, watching football, but he can't seem to hear a word over Elena reading out loud to their grandchildren. He doesn't mind, though, because hearing her voice is more important to him than anything else. His son wonders how he can put up with it, and Stefan hopes that one day he understands.

Not everyone find the love of their life in kindergarten, or elementary school, or high school, or college, or until they're old and gray. Not everyone get to meet their soulmate. Some do, and even then, it doesn't always work out. Life happens, and sometimes, love is not enough. Other things decide to interfere, and unfortunately, they tend to prevail.

But for some people, things do work out.

She reads her favorite book for a millionth time, remembering her mother fondly. He eats muffins, remembering how his best friend used to steal them from him. When she falls asleep on the couch he covers her up with a blanket because he's not strong enough anymore to carry her in his arms. She holds his hand as they go through a photo album together.

Snow falls on the top of her nose, and he brushes it off with his bare finger.

At the age of 80, with gray hair and eyes that are as alive as when she was a toddler, Stefan finds his wife as beautiful as she was her entire life.

* * *

_**So here we are, at the end of yet another story. I enjoyed writing this one as much as I enjoyed writing the previous ones, and I really appreciate all of your reviews and kind words, they really mean so much to me. Thank you for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it :)**_

_**I started a new story, Shattering Truth. The first chapter is out if you're interested ;)**_


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